KEEP AWAY THAT ALLIGATOR! How the hell did it get here?! It was in the computer!
Gummy, I told you to go to bed. It’s too late for a baby like you to be awake!
You know, it would be nice if you would listen to me when I talk! What did I say about reality?!
Uhhhhmm… that I must not break it! And I didn’t!
Oh, of course you didn’t, of course… but, that leaves a small question: WHY IS AN ALLIGATOR IN MY HOUSE?!
It’s not “an alligator”! It’s Gummy!
Hey, the star-like things! That means that time has passed!
For Celestia's sake, stop doing that! You can't talk about everything that happens! It's not funny, it's boring!
But it's true! Every time that those things appear, time passes and the conversation changes!
I've said STOP! No more meta-stuff! We were talking about Gummy!
And speaking of him... The reptile has powers too? Is all Ponyville full of reality-warpers or something?
No, Ponyville is full of ponies. That’s the reason why it’s called “Ponyville”.
Look, the alligator was a picture less than two hours ago. Why is it alive now?!
It was alive all the time!
Sigh… I think you can’t understand what I’m saying. You became real, even though you’re a cartoon pony, because… because yes. That’s the reason. But then, your friends became alive too, and now your pet?! That doesn’t make sense!
Why not? We’re all from Equestria, so we all can come here using the same way! Hey, Gummy, don’t bite Aragón!
Don’t worry, it’s not harmful. The thing is… Is…
Hell, I don’t know! You becoming a living being makes sense –I don’t know why, but it makes sense -, but Gummy appearing in my house just because you saw a picture in my computer is STUPID!
Because I say so! Because…! Because…
Hey, wait a minute. You are here, and you are a cartoon pony. If something like that seems normal to me, why does a magical baby alligator scare me?
I don’t know! But, you shouldn’t be afraid of Gummy. He has no teeth, see?
Yeah, I knew that. I watch the show, remember?
But that's not important... You know, it's weird. When I saw you outside the window I wasn't so surprised. I mean, I just thought “Hey, It's Pinkie Pie! Why is she in my house?” But Gummy isn't the same. I have a feeling... he shouldn't be here.
Oh, poor Gummy... He is a very good boy! He always helps me when I bake cupcakes!
One little question: why doesn't your alligator have any teeth?
Oh, because he’s only a baby. He’s a year old.
Alligators hatch with teeth.
Wait a minute... You have an alligator who helps you making cupcakes and, for whatever reason, he has no teeth? The implications are creepy...
But Gummy is not just “an alligator”! He’s Gummy!
Your explanations are just amazing, did you know? But yeah, I guess… maybe it’s not so strange. I mean, it’s… he’s a cartoon too. Lauren Faust just draw it like that.
Hey, I wonder if there's anypony else in the comments! Maybe we should…!
Because I say so. You can't read the comments again.
But it's fun! I like the comments!
Ok, first of all, you can't talk about the comments in the story, because that means that YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! Again! How many times have I said those words?
...Yeah, you shouldn't be happy about that. Look, Pinkie, the comments can't be answered here. One comment must be answered with another comment.
U-huh. Then, let's talk about the comments in the comments! Hurry!
No! I'm the author, it's ME who talks to the readers!
I'm an author too!
No! You're a character who disobeys me, but you aren't writing anything!
Can I write something?
NO! Hell, even the gods would be frightened of that! You becoming the author?! Just staying by my side when I write is enough for you to destroy reality!
But... I want to write too...
I'm sorry, but no. Also, it's my computer. I'm the only one who can write in it.
Ooooh... then I can't write?
Uuuh. Then, let's read the comments!
NO! I'VE SAID....!
Hey, look, more ponies! Hello, Twilight!
F*beeeeep*ck! To the Hell with that! You'll do it no matter what, so let's read the comments! Now Twilight is becoming alive too?
She is not amused.
...Yeah, I know. I think that it's related to the fact that I'm, in her opinion, “a bad writer”. Pfffft...
Maybe you should try to be better?
I'm already good! Listen, don't look at the picture, I don't want to talk with her. Let's read another com...
Hey! It's me!
DON'T LOOK AT IT!
YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! PLEASE, DON'T LOOK AT THE COMM-is that a horse holding a cat? Why is a horse holding a cat in the comments of my story?
Why wasn't he before? Cats are funny!
And weird. It's the most strange thing I've ever seen...
Oh, oh, oh! Aragón, it's you! You are in the comments!
Look! Here, you're talking with Fluttershy!
I'm talking to Fluttershy? Where?
Hmm? Oh, no, he's another user. His name is “RatherHomely”, he's an author. Fluttershy is his avatar.
He's saying something about a story. What's a shenanigan?
I think it's something about red eyes and kaleidoscopes. But...
DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS HERE
Gah! Who said that?!
I didn't do it! The letters were underlined!
Who talks like that? Twilight has become alive? Pinkamena? The horse?! The cat?!
I don't think so! My friends always talk like 'hey Pinkie, you're really funny and your cupcakes are awesome', they can't speak in underlined!
Hey! Underlined guy! We can't see you! Who the hell are you?!
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
You're shouting? Is he shouting?
No, I think the capitalized words are just saying that the voice is deep.
Like the Equestrian Voice of the Princess Luna?
DON'T TALK ABOUT ME. I'M NOT IMPORTANT. AND DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL LIKE THAT.
You're not important? You're a deep, underlined voice without body and you're in my house! Why are you in my house?!
Are you an alicorn, like the Princesses? An underlined alicorn?
OH, I KNOW! YOU'RE AN INVISIBLE ALICORN!!
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME. CONTINUE WITH THE STORY. YOU MUST WRITE ABOUT RARITY.
Hey, you can't talk me like that! I'm the author of the story! Where is my respect?!
Gummy, say hello to the invisible underlined alicorn!
STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.
Heh. I've been saying that like, for hours. She's not going to obey you. By the way, are you really an alicorn?
Hey, invisible underlined alicorn! Do you know what a shenanigan is?
SOMETHING STRANGE, SOMETHING INSIDE ITSELF. IT DOESN'T MATTER. SHENANIGANS ARE IMPORTANT, BUT YOU MUST NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM.
I thought the shenanigan was that thing in the eyes of an Uchi...
SAY ANOTHER WORD AND YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
What?!!! You're threatening me?! REPEAT THAT IF YOU'RE A MAN!! LET'S TALK WITH OUR FISTS!!
No! Don't fight! Fighting is not good! Fighting is bad!
YOU'RE STUPID. NOT ONLY ARE YOU A BAD WRITER, BUT YOUR BRAIN IS ALSO NOT WORKING WELL.
I'm a good writer!
Hey! Invisible underlined alicorn! Don't be meanie! You're making Aragón cry!
I'm not crying!
HE'S NOT CRYING. AND I'M NOT THREATENING HIM. I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE THINGS HE WAS... TALKING ABOUT.
And I am the one who doesn't know how to write? Your redundancy is... redundant!
YOU KNOW, THE HYPOCRITICAL HUMOR DOESN'T FIT YOU.
He can talk about everything! He's the author!
Yeah, Pinkie is right! I'm the author! And I'm not an hypocrite!
NO, YOU'RE JUST RETARDED. YOUR WORDS ALMOST BRING US DOOM.
Stop insulting Aragón! You can't be so...
...and that's the reason why I'm going to bake cupcakes right now! Don't fight, Pinkie will be here soon!
OK. REMEMBER TO CLOSE THE DOOR.
Oki doki loki!
Eh?! EH?! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! PINKIE!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
SHE'S GOING TO BAKE CUPCAKES.
What the hell?! Why are the asterisks right upon us?! I didn't call them! And we were talking about something important, the conversation can't end like that!
THE ASTERISKS ARE HERE BECAUSE I MADE THEM APPEAR. TIME HAS PASSED, PEOPLE FORGIVE AND FORGET.
You called the asterisks?! But, you can't do that! I'm the author, you're just... an invisible underlined alicorn! Pinkie, come back! Don't leave me alone with this weirdo! I don't want to cry again!
SHE'S JUST IN THE KITCHEN. I SENT HER THERE BECAUSE WE NEED TO TALK.
I don't want to talk with you! Hell, I don't even know who are you!!
I'M THE ONE AN ONLY. THE PAST, THE FUTURE AND THE PRESENT. I'M YOU AND I'M EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT YOU. I'M THE SOUL OF THE WORLD, THE MIND OF THE LIVING, THE BODY OF THE LAND. I'M YOUR DREAM, I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. I'M THE ONE WHO CONTROLS YOU, AND I'M THE ONE WHO IS CONTROLLED EVERY SECOND. FOR I AM THE ONE, AND YOU ARE THE OTHER.
DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
...So you're something like a god?
I'M NOT A GOD, AND, AT THE SAME TIME, I AM ALL THE GODS IN ONE BODY.
...And you're invisible?
YOU CANNOT SEE ME, FOR I CANNOT SEE YOU. THE SIGHT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SENSE, AND IS THE LEAST. ONLY YOUR MIND IS WITH ME, SINCE WE ARE THE SAME AND EXTREMELY DIFFERENT.
I have the feeling that you're in the wrong story. This is not an epic drama. We're talking about cream-colored ponies, you know? Happy places, comedy...
I AM HERE BECAUSE I MUST BE HERE. WITHOUT ME, THE WORLD...
I think I'm going to take the easy way: you're an invisible underlined crazy alicorn. That explains a lot. Also, you're stupid.
YOU SHOULDN'T INSULT ME.
And you shouldn't have sent Pinkie to the kitchen! I don't know why you have that power, but don't use it!
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS ANYMORE. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
Oh, of course. An emergency.
IT IS. YOU AND I MUST TALK, AND PINKIE PIE CAN'T HEAR US.
You're shouting. She's going to hear everything you say.
I'M NOT SHOUTING. YOU'VE SAID IT BEFORE: I HAVE A DEEP VOICE, THAT'S ALL.
U-huh. Sure. Listen, I don't like you, so...
YOU AND PINKIE HAVE BROKEN THE FOURTH WALL MANY TIMES, BUT THERE'S A LIMIT THAT YOU CAN'T PASS. IF YOU DO, THEN YOU'LL BE DOOMED.
I ONLY APPEAR WHEN THERE IS NOT OPTION. YOU WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT A JAPANESE SHOW THAT PINKIE DOESN'T KNOW, AND THAT WOULD HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING.
Uh. What do you mean with that?
DON'T LET HER READ THE COMMENTS. IN RATHERHOMELY SLEEPS YOUR DEATH. IF YOUR PINKIE READS HIS STORY, THEN THE END OF THE WORDL AS YOU KNOW IT WILL BEGIN.
Hold on a minute! The end of the world? This is a comedy! I don't like breaking the fourth wall, but this is just stupid! We can't write a fanfic about the end of the world in a comedy!
JUST LISTEN TO ME. IT DOESN'T MATTER THE TAGS OF THE FANFIC, JUST LISTEN. IF PINKIE READS THE COMMENTS AGAIN, IF SHE READS ANOTHER STORY... BOOM.
But what the hell does boom means?
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. AND, EVEN MORE IMPORTANT: RATHERHOMELY IS DANGEROUS. VERY DANGEROUS.
But why?! I've read his fanfis! He's a good writer!
I KNOW. CERTAINLY, HE'S BETTER THAN YOU.
...Well, maybe he's not that good.
I'm here! I've baked the cupcakes!
Really? Those are the fastest cupcakes I've ever seen, then. Hey, invisible underlined alicorn! What were you saying?!
Invisible underlined alicorn?
I can see your underlined silence. We know you're here.
Why isn't he talking?
I don't know. Maybe he's stupider than I thought.
Huh... do you want a cupcake?
Hey, the star-like things again!
That joke is getting old. Stop with it, please.
Hey, let's look the comments again! We didn't finish before!
Huh... I think...
Pinkie, I think it's better not to read the comments.
Why? I like the comments!
Yeah, but... eh...
But the chapter has been too long and you haven't write anything about Rarity?
Eh... yes? Yes! Exactly! But stop breaking the fourth wall!
It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sky was blue, the Sun was shining, and...
You're starting like that again?
It's a good way to begin a fanfic!
...and Carrousel Boutique was closed. Inside the store, Rarity, the most beautiful creature in Equestria, was crying.
Oh, poor Rarity!
The white pony was sad. Very, very sad. Her face was covered in tears, her four legs were trembling like jelly. Alone in the boutique, Rarity drowned in sorrow...
'It's horrible' said. 'It's the most horrible thing... I can't...'
But Rarity couldn't finish her phrase, because the door of her boutique suddenly opened...
I thought the boutique was closed.
...and then, Applejack and Rainbow Dash entered the shop.
'Hey, Rar... Sugarcube! Why are you crying, dear?!'
'Don't tell me that the retarded author is making you cry!' Rainbow dash frowned and looked at the sky. 'You! Are you there?!'
Yes, I'm there. WHY ARE YOU IN CARROUSEL BOUTIQUE?! YOU TWO RAN AWAY THREE HOURS AGO!!
'You're making Rarity cry!'
Yeah! Aragón, I don't want Rarity to be sad!
Oh, for Celestia's sake! I can't even try this time? You're escaping my control at the very beginning?
Hey, the chapter is almost finished!
What? No! No, it can't end here! We have a lot of things to do, a cliffhanger is stupid! I have to write the story about Rarity, and Rainbow and AJ are here without reason, and there are a lot of things that we have to explain, like the invisible underlined alicorn, and I DON'T LIKE CLIFFHANGERS!!! NO, WE CAN'T END HE