After leaving Applejack at her stand I picked up a few items for supper and headed home. Beside the pathway to my door I noticed the little flag on the mailbox was raised. Quickly retrieving the contents, I excitedly opened the thick envelope and smiled broadly. It contained had a single thick stack of pages, stapled together, with a simple letter on the top.
Dear Mr Alex Roberts,
We are pleased to inform you that we have found the mare you’re looking for.
Attached are the addresses of her place of work, apartment, as well as her real
name, work schedule, and some photographs of her [SCRATCHED OUT WORD] .
[DIFFERENT HANDWRITING] You’ll have to forgive my brother.
With this assignment complete, you can send us our next task to the return
address on the envelope.
Flim & Flam
I didn’t bother to look at the rest of it. I figured it would be standard stuff. As I walked in, I caught a flash of colour out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head, I saw a rainbow mane peeking up from behind the couch, “Hi sweetheart. What are you doing here so early? Not that I mind.
“I strained the muscles between my wing and shoulder, so came to borrow some ice.” She lifted an ice pack to show me. “I hope you don’t mind.”
I put my packages down, “Um, why would I mind if the mare I love borrowed some frozen water to ease her pain? Here, let me get this stuff in the fridge before it spoils then I’ll be right there to help.”
Dash gave me a grateful look, “I could really use a massage to my left threes. Just be gentle, it’s my first time.” She snickered.
I had just finished putting the perishables away and started sneaking to the couch as quietly as I could. I gently rested my hands on her shoulders and she stiffened for a moment, then relaxed. “Now that’s what I’m talking about,” she purred.
Being unsure, “Dash, I’ve only ever done this with a human, and I’m just not sure what to do with your lovely, “ I kiss her ear, “threes. I’m not even sure where or what they are.”
“Those are the,” Dash made a face at the scientifically correct word, pronouncing it slowly, “supraspuriascapular muscles. They pull my wing back up and are around at the forward top of the wings, about a hoof size bulge. I messed it up a little doing a barrel roll.”
“Okay, so right here?” I gingerly place my thumbs on a warm bundle of muscle near to top of the wing.
Dash grunted, “That’s it. I know you’ll be gentle. I totally trust you. But I’ll smack you if you mess up.” My thumbs slowly and carefully moved in small circles, working the muscle. “On the way in I noticed your heavy bag is down, what happened to it?”
“I’m not sure I should tell you. In your weakened condition you may hurt yourself.” As I spoke I continued working the stiff muscle
She started laughing, “Ouch. Oh, this should be good.”
“You know how I do that human martial art, boxing, as part of my morning workout?”
With stifled snickering, “Ya. Go on.”
“Well, I’ve been mixing it up a little, using my knife in my right hand.” My fingers looked for more stiff muscles.
Openly snickering, “I think I see where this is going, but don’t, ouch, stop.”
“I forgot to put the Luna cursed thing in sparring mode.”
Dash was now laughing, wings popped out, tears in her eyes, occasionally ‘ouch’ing. “You’re a monster, making your injured marefriend laugh like this.”
Once I was done I carefully put the ice pack on her sore spot, “Okay, now you relax and I’ll whip up some dinner.” I started washing and slicing the eggplant and preheating the pan and filling the steamer with water for the peas.
“A back rub and a meal? You’re a catch.” I could see her stretch and heard a snap from, something. I was about to ask if she hurt herself, but was answered with a happy sigh.
“I’m just your trophy boyfriend. Every stallion wants to be me, and every mare wants me as arm candy.” I put the eggplant in a large bowl and added spices, a little salt, and oil.
“You’re also the most modest, man around.” I noticed she was stumbling over the new word.
“Ah, yes, very important to point that out.” We both snickered as I added the peas with a few sprigs of rosemary to the steamer.
“And if any mare wants a piece of you, they’ll need to take a piece of me first.”
“And I’ll be there right by your side. Unless it’s that Mrs Cake. She’s got them wide birthing hips. Swanky.” I was rewarded by an icepack to the back and more laughter. I started frying the eggplant after giving her the ice pack back.
“I don’t know what you’re cooking, but it smells good. I think you’re a keeper, as long as you can keep yourself from straying.”
“With you, that will never be a problem.” I smiled but I was also a little concerned at her comment, ‘I know she has that tough outer shell, but I get the feeling she’s always about to collapse, that the toughness is just a show. I would love to know how she ticks, just so I can do right by her. I want to be there for her, like she was there for me. It also makes me wonder what kind of relationships she’s had. I wonder if Gilda-’
“Equestria to Alex. Come in Alex.” Dash was leaning over the back of the couch, a bemused expression gracing her lovely face.
“Sorry Dash. Just thinking about, stuff,” I finished lamely.
Dash squared herself to face me and had a calm look on her face. “What kind of, stuff?”
I gave her a half smile, “I was just wondering if I’ll be there for you. I mean, when it counts. I mean, when you need me. In the way you need me. I just,” I sighed and took the eggplant off the heat, “I don’t want to fail you. I,” I turned to face her, “I want you to know you can depend on me. I trust you, and,” I broke eye contact with her and pursed my lips, “I don’t know, I just, if I knew more about your past, I could be a better friend, and a better lover, in the future.” Her expression hardened. “I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to push. Lets just have dinner.” I turned, checking on the peas.
I berated myself, ‘Okay, this was amazingly stupid Alex. Why did you have to upset her like that. If you were a pony, upsetting Dash would be your cutie mark.’ I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn’t hear her come up behind me and put her hooves around my neck.
“You are my best friend and you make me so happy, no matter what dumb things you say. Tell you what, after supper bring a blanket, we’ll walk to Stargazer Hill, and I’ll tell the most wonderful coltfriend in the world all about my past.”
My jaunty, “Can I come too?” was rewarded with being physically turned around and given a warm kiss.
Dash and I set the table and I served our little meal. She picked up the stapled sheets I had left on the table and started flipping through them. As she flipped, her eyes grew larger her grin grew larger and the flipping faster, dinner completely forgotten. She stopped for a moment and mumbled, “Nice flank.” Then she looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and a crooked smile. “So, the brothers were taking candid pictures I see. Even caught her in the shower. What exactly did you ask them to do?”
I moved to grab the sheets but she pulled them away, “Dash, I just asked them to find her. I had no idea what they would do. I swear, but I want to see where my cash went to.” With a throaty laugh she passed me the papers.
I flipped though the pages, the first few where standard information, address, place of work, etc, but then as I flipped the pages I got to the photo section. They started innocently enough, a snap shot of Trixe entering where she worked, Trixie buying groceries, and so on, each image a little more intimate than the last. My jaw was dropping lower with each page, each picture. By the end, there was a few pictures of her sleeping and one picture, taken from inside her house, of her taking a shower. “What in the hay were those two doing. I said I wanted her found, not some, some, porno portfolio made.” I dropped the papers on the table.
“Well, I’m impressed, especially for the shower picture. And, don’t be too hard on them. Trixie is very nice to look at. Maybe they assumed this is what you wanted?”
“Who in the name of Luna would make that crazy assumption?”
Dash picked up the papers and started flipping through them again. “I don’t know Alex. If I was a bit of a low life and someone dropped five thousand bits to find a girl, I would assume they wanted stuff like this. Anyway, if you don’t want these, I’ll take them with me.” She looked up with a sultry smile and twitched her eyebrow.
“Wait, what? So, Trixie’s a hottie.”
“Oh ya,” Dash replied, stretching out the first word, all while flipping through the latter half of the pictures. “She sure is.”
“Dash? Dash. Dash!” She finally tore her eyes away from the pictures. “Are you, I mean, should I-” I sputtered.
Dash laughed, “Oh Alex. You’re way too easy. Don’t worry,” she stood and leaned forward to put a hoof on my cheek, “you’re the only one for me. I’m just pulling your chain. And, it’s funny how you were appalled at the pictures, not drooling over them.”
“That was only because half of those pictures are kind of private. I think they went too far. Anyway, that’s a letter for tomorrow. Lets finish eating so I can wash up and I can take my hottie to Stargazer Hill.”
Dash smiled, “I assume I can come too?”
It was only a ten minute walk, but Dash was limping a little from her strained muscle. When we got to a quiet, secluded spot, we both lay down, her head on my chest, close to my head.
As we watched Luna’s nightly show, I absentmindedly scratched behind Dash’s ear with my left hand. I was rewarded with a content sigh. After a while, Dash started speaking.
“When I was a filly, living in Cloudsdale, my dad came home one day with Wonderbolt tickets. Box seats. I was really excited, and I knew he had spent a lot of a bits for them. You’ve got to remember that we weren’t rolling in it, my dad was a cloud pusher and my mom was a home maker.”
“So, cloud pusher is slang for weather pony?”
Those beautiful eyes looked at me like I was an idiot, “No, they’re the ponies who push the clouds. Basically where every pony starts and you stay if you don’t have any skills or are a part timer. Anyway, dad was a fast flier, but not much else.”
“My dad had talked about the Wonderbolts for as long as I could remember, he was huge fan. I realize now he spent a lot of what he made on Wonderbolt merchandise and salt. I still don’t know how mom kept us fed. Anyway, I was just a kid, I didn’t know better.”
“I remember walking with my dad to the stadium, the same one the Young Fliers competition is held in every year. Our seats were so high up and close to the centre, we could see Princess Celestia clear as day.” Dash grew quiet for a moment, “I still think she looked at me and smiled. Like she knew who I was and what I was going to be. Maybe I'll ask her one day.” Dash snuggled a little closer.
“So, the show started, and they performed. It was amazing. But, in his excitement, my dad called me 'son'. He stopped cheering for a second, and looked at me, kind of sad, like I had disappointed him. I felt so bad, but I loved him so much, I just said, 'It's okay daddy. I know you love me even if I'm just a filly.' He actually smiled and said, 'That's my Rainbow Dash.'
“But you know what? I wanted to buck him, break his wings, and toss him over the side. But, I kept the shell, I kept the smile, I just put up with it. Mom would be proud.”
“Mom, she was so loving, but she was a real door mat. She made Fluttershy look down right rude. She never stood up to my dad, never. After dad would tell me off or put me down, she would tell me she loved me and to forgive,” she spit the word out, “my dad because he was under stress at work. You know she was the only one who told me I was beautiful, that she loved me. Dad only praised me if I was doing something athletic. I guess that’s why I’m such an overachiever. I just want my daddy’s approval.”
I placed my right arm around her, “Rainbow Dash, you can be who ever you want to be. I will always be your friend, and I will always love you no matter what.”
Dash rolled over, a small smile crept on her face. She leaned forward to kiss me, softly at first, then with growing passion. She then got up and climbed on top of me, kissing my neck. I could feel her hooves sticking to my shirt, trying to pull it off. I put my hands on them to stop her.
“Whoa Dash. What are you doing? I mean, I'm all for fooling around, but I thought we were taking this slow.”
She looked confused, almost frightened, “Alex, I want to show you how much I love you, how much you mean to me. My week is starting and you're the stallion I want to be with. D-Don't you want to be with me? Like that?”
“Well, sure I do, I'm not made of stone. But, come on, we've been dating for less than two days. I don't know about pony culture, but where I come from, well, okay, what I should say is, ugh, I'm old fashioned, I guess. I know it's not cool to bring up past relationships, but Ann and I didn't get past making out for almost a year. I know it must sound stupid.”
Dash sat up, still on me. She moved her hooves slowly down her body and with a sultry smile “So, you really want the rainbow, but you're being all honourable about it?”
I smile, “Yes I do and yes I am. That’s the problem with us nice guys, we’re nice. I hope you don’t think I’m not interested in you in that way, because I am. As Luna as my witness I am. But, it feels, disrespectful. I want you to know, and I mean really know, I’m not in it for a roll in the hay.” I take her right hoof and kiss it gently.
Dash’s expression changes to a beaming smile. “I guess I’m not used to respect in this kind of relationship.” She lays down on my chest, “But if you change your mind, I’m yours, any time of the month.”
I smiled but wondered, ‘What the heck does that mean? Beyond the obvious.’ In “So, change of subject, the wedding next week, you’re coming with me, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for all of Equestria.”
“Great. I’ll be giving them two gifts, one from us and one anonymously. Is that okay?”
“That depends, what are you giving them.”
“Well, the anonymous one is a bank account with ten thousand bits. That should get them started. I never know what the give, and it’s a little embarrassing to just give cash. You know, I should see if I can get paper money invented. Or cheques at least. Anyway, that’s not the important gift.”
“Ten thousand bits is not the important one? What are you giving them, a solid aluminium dish set?”
“Nope, a very old human gift. An important one, well, important to me anyway. You could say it has magical significance.”
“So, you're sure this wedding gift for Derpy and Caramel doesn't have some meaning to ponies that would be perceived as rude. It has no meaning in your culture at all. Nothing, “and I used air quotes,”'intimate'? Nothing good or bad? You're positive?”
Rarity sighed, “Yes Alex, I even ran it past the rest of the girls, just in case. Twilight researched it and found nothing. Fluttershy didn't blush, until the bread part, but was not scandalized otherwise. Applejack thought it was sentimental and didn't think you had it in you. Pinkie Pie thought it was fine but suggested switching the salt with sugar.”
I let out a long breath. “Good. I still feel bad about the whole bread thing with Fluttershy. She says she forgives me, but, I assumed some traditions were universal, and I still kick myself for being so rude to such a kind and gentle person.”
Darling, Fluttershy is a dear, but can be quite over sensitive about such things. Do not worry yourself about it. If she said she forgives you, she has, and so should you.” Rarity smiled and nodded, meaning, to her, the topic was closed.
The huge hall was packed with family and friends. There was at least five hundred ponies, maybe more. Pinkie had outdone herself with the decorations. Dash looked around, impressed, “I wonder how Derpy got the town hall. Mind you, she put in a lot of hours fixing it up after The Incident. And anyway, marrying an Apple probably counts for something in this town.” She leaned into me as we walked.
The whole Apple family was in the front row, except Mac, and I greeted each of them as I passed by. Dash and I were seated right beside them. Someone had thoughtfully put a little stool for me. I noticed Applejack’s mane and tail were in a braided ponytail and she just gave us a little nod, but didn’t think anything of it. I spoke to my other seat mate, “Hey, Apple Bloom, where’s Mac?”
“Oh, he’s part of the wedding, seeing as he’s so big an’ all.” Apple Bloom replied in a tone that indicated I should already know this.
“Cool. I’ve never been to a pony wedding before and I’m really excited. It sure looks different from a wedding back where I come from.”
“Well, y’alls in for a real good time!” she responded with childish enthusiasm.
The chatter died down as soon as the band started a rather militaristic piece of music. It almost reminded me of the Star Trek fighting music and made me chuckle. This earned me a tap and a glare from Dash and I quickly whispered, “I’ll explain later.”
Her glare could have frozen a sun, “It had better be a good one.”
First, Derpy galloped up the red carpet, looking behind her in what looked like fear. Trailing behind her was a unicorn filly I didn’t recognise, also in a matching saddle, but just beaming. I started getting up but I noticed no one else seemed panicked. I looked at Dash and she smiled at me, so I relaxed my legs and sat back down to watch what was going on.
Derpy looked positively stunning. ‘I guess Rarity was right, even a philistine can see how perfect that dress is.’ The hovering pegasus photographer snapped a few pictures from different angles while they slowed down. She finally went up to the stage and stood to the left of the stairs going up, with the filly standing behind her. I could see she was smiling and looking to the back of the hall.
I saw two ponies trotting in, one being the unmistakable Big Macintosh. I didn’t recognise the other pegasus pony. I was surprised to see them holding spears. They stopped and stood guard about three quarters of the way. I could tell the tips were paper mache painted silver and the shafts were thin and looked like soft balsa.
I leaned to Dash to ask her a question, but I was shushed. Dash pointed to the back of the hall and smiled.
I heard what I assume was Caramel bellow, “I will save you my princess!” as he charged up the middle. He then wrenched the spears from their mouths and snapped the ends off.
The two guards stood back, letting Caramel past. They said, “We cannot stand against such love.” and bowed. I hadn’t noticed the old earth pony, Mr. Waddle, wearing his minister’s collar, was now standing on centre stage. Caramel picked up the two spear tips, and trotted up to the stage. He tossed the spear tips at her feet, and took his place on the right.
“I have overcome all for you.” Caramel was grinning like a fool and Derpy was smiling too. I could see a she had tears of joy, and, being an old softy, I had to wipe a tear too. Dash snuggled up even closer, resting her head on my shoulder.
They exchanged their vows, familiar sentiments, even if the wording was different. Strangely, the little unicorn filly was included and had her own set of vows. From what I gathered, the filly was called Dinky, and she was Derpy’s daughter. Caramel’s vow to Dinky was to be the best dad he could be. Her vow was to be the best daughter she could be.
‘Damn dusty air,’ I mumbled as I wiped another tear. Dash snickered.
Then, Caramel and Derpy kissed, Caramel and Dinky hugged, and in a surprisingly clear and strong voice Mr. Waddle announced, “Friends, family, neighbours, I would like you all to welcome Mr Caramel and Mrs Derpy Hooves, husband and wife.” The crowd started stomping their hooves, and I joined in with claps.
Pinky, thanks to her Party CannonTM, was able to do the decoration change in about 15 minutes, while everyone was outside. It was actually kind of clever, they had ushered everyone outside to give Pinkie time to redecorate. Once everything was ready inside, we would form a reception line to go back in.
While Dash and I were waiting for the line to get going she taped my leg, “So, mister giggles, what was that when the music started?”
I after explaining as best I could, “So, it found it funny to hear fighting music at a wedding, that's all.”
“Heh, I guess that would be funny. So, what's the wedding music for human weddings.”
“It goes something like this.” I hummed the tune for a wedding march as best I could.
As I was trying to get the tune right, I saw Dash's expressing shifting to one of horror. “You use a funeral march? That's bucking horrifying. What's wrong with you people?”
It was my turn to get a little upset, but I kept my voice low, “Hey, I refuse to be held responsible for traditions I had no part in creating. I for one think it's a very nice little tune. And is that going to be your reaction every time you bump into something about my culture you don't like? 'Oh, Alex, you're a monster. What's wrong with you?' I mean, how the buck can I defend myself? So since we're on the subject of all the horrible things I do, lets get the other big one out of the way, right now. My species is predatory, I eat meat, well not since I got here, but I can and I have. My teeth,” I flick my thumb on my top front teeth, “are made for it.”
“Well, I'm sorry for voicing my opinion. Maybe you would be happier if I was more submissive like my mom.” I could see the rage and betrayal in Dash's face.
The reception line started moving, and we joined it in silence. We ended up walking beside the Apple family with myself between Applejack and Dash. When it was my turn Caramel and Derpy thanked me profusely for what I did. I protested, “I was just protecting family, even though I didn’t know you were.”
They looked confused until Applejack put a hoof on my arm and confirmed this, “He may not be a pony, but he’s an Apple, right to the core.”
Dash shot Applejack a cold glare, then gave me a look of irritation. “Allow me to drag my knight protector away. We're holding up the line, sweetheart.” She said the last word a little louder than necessary while looking at Applejack. Applejack’s expression was neutral, with a small smile, but there was the smallest flash of a scowl.
We made our way to our table in silence. I felt like a monster, 'I haven't lost control like that in a while. Luna, I failed her, and I don't know what to do.' I saw Dash occasionally glancing at me and looking sad. I also noticed Applejack, 'Damn, if I didn't know better, I would say she's looking smug.'
The party was starting and Derpy and Caramel had the first slow dance. It was interesting, it basically involved the two ponies balancing each other and doing something like a waltz. Then, everyone else was invited to join them.
I hoped what I was planning would fix things a little, “Miss Rainbow Dash, would you care to join me in this dance?”
Dash looked a little panicked, “But, I’ve never danced like that. I mean, I’ve party danced, but never slow danced. Anyway, I'm mad at you.” She looked me in the eye and smiled a little, “but, I guess I can forget that for now.” Out of the corner of my eye, I think I saw Applejack frown a little.
“We’ll do the hug and shuffle. It was the only slow dance I really mastered. And I can teach you.”
Dash was wearing that lilac perfume that suited her so well. When she reared on her hind legs, she lost her balance a little and I caught her up. As I held her, the crowd melted away, all my troubles grew distant and trivial. Her scent mingled with the lilacs, her forelegs around me neck, nose to snout.
“I'm sorry for losing my cool,” I whispered. “Not that it's an excuse, but I feel like I've been walking on egg shells for the whole six months I've been here. And, I guess I just lost my temper.”
She gave me a kiss then put her left cheek on mine so she could whisper directly in my ear, “Apology accepted, just don't do it again.” We moved slowly in silence for a few moments, “I saw you flinch when Derpy ran in. You thought there was real trouble, didn’t you.”
“No. I knew what was going on,” I lied.
Dash snickered, “You know, the muscle under your left eye twitches when you lie.”
“Is it that obvious?” I asked with a groan.
Dash giggled, “Not really, Ann told me. Well, warned me, really.”
“Damn it. Why is it I fall for strong smart women?”
“Because we’re the only ones who can handle you.” She followed that with a light nibble on my ear. My knees almost buckled from that intimate action. ‘Ann used to... Stop it Alex. Ann is long gone. It’s Dash now. Only Dash.’ My reaction did not go unnoticed, causing Dash to make a low chuckle and nibble again. I moved one arm to her shoulders and held her a little closer.
My hand absentmindedly moved down from her shoulders to the spot just between her wings. Dash gasped, but didn’t take her cheek off mine. “You’re a bad colt, touching me there. You know it’s still a little tender. Not only that, you know this is my week.” I could hear the smile in her voice and feel her cheek warming up.
Confused and unwilling to do something stupider than usual, I moved my hand back to where it was before. “Sorry for the roving hands, Dash. I didn’t realize.”
She pulled away, looking at me in my worried eyes. “You’re so cute when you’re freaked out.” She put her right cheek on mine, switching sides, whispering into my other ear, “If you’re a good colt, maybe you can do that again. Or maybe if you’re a bad colt. Not sure which would be better.” At that, the slow song ended and DJ-P0N3 started doing her magic.
Dash and I were walking back to the table, laughing about the silliness of the fight. I noticed three empty little drinking bowls in front of Applejack and one on it’s way to her lips. Mac gave me a pleading look, and I hoped I understood the message.
“Whoa, Applejack. Don’t you think you should be slowing down on the salt?”
She carefully put the little bowl down and scowled at me. “Why? Can’t I have a little fun for a change? I work all day, everyday for the farm, and if I ain’t doing that, I’m working for others. You just leave me be Alex Roberts.” The table got very quiet. She took a slurp of the drink and held the shallow bowl up, inspecting it. “You know what they call this? I comes from the bartender at the Grain Bucket. Apparently, you was there with some unicorn, and this is what he was drinking. They call it a ‘Human’. Makes a mighty fine drink. Mighty fine.” She polished it off. “I think I need another one.” She got up, wobbly.
I turned to Dash and saw a weird combination of sadness, anger, and triumph. Her eyes were on Applejack. “I think I’ll see if this ‘Human’ drink is as good as the real deal.” She gave me a quick, but passionate kiss, and followed after her friend. ‘I hope they still are, anyway.’
Mac leaned over, “Colt, you’re in a whole heap of trouble. I knows you have all the right intentions, so I don’t blame you, but AJ and Miss Rainbow Dash are real competitors. And AJ dun got it in her head that she wants you. I can’t rightly say why except maybe it’s because Miss Rainbow Dash has you. Them two fight over everything, but at the end of the day, they work it out. Until then, expect things to be interesting.”
I looked at Mac gratefully, “Thanks for the advice. Mac, as Luna as my witness, I never thought it would escalate to this. Maybe in my dreams when I was a teenager, but that doesn’t count. And of course, now I can't go to the bar for a drink.”
Soon, the girls returned without comment. Dash was carrying four little bowls of ‘Human’, and four shot glasses of what looked like rye. Applejack with a little tray holding six little bowls of what I assumed was ‘Human’.
Dash slerped a little bowl slowly, rolling her eyes in pleasure. “Mmmmm, they taste almost as good as the real thing,’ a little too loudly while looking directly at Applejack.
Applejack glared at her, and shot back a bowl, “I know exactly what you mean, RD. I could enjoy any kind of ‘Human’, drink,” the pause before the last work was just a little too long.
I was about to try to be the voice of reason, bust as soon as I opened my mouth they turned and said in unison, “Not now Alex.”
I decided to make small talk with Mac, mostly about farming. Not that I had much to contribute, but I was always interested in what he had to say. We both, very deliberately, avoided the girls. By now their talk had disintegrated into a drinking contest, with snide comments between drinks.
They went back to the bar a second time, and kept going. Just as they had finished their tenth or fifteenth drink, the music change to a slow dance, again. Applejack took her hat off and gave me a slightly sultry smile. She asked in a slightly slurred voice, “Alex, would y'all like to take this country girl for a spin, if Dash don’t mind.”
“Well, I guess it’s okay,” she answered uncertainly, all the while glaring at me.
We went to the dance floor, and Applejack put her hooves around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder, like Dash had. She started drunkenly rambling, all the while when I could make eye contact with Dash I gave her a pleading expression and mouthed ‘sorry’.
“You know what, when I first meet you I thought you were Discord ugly, but now, I realize you’re not ugly, you’re just different. A different I like.” She sighed wistfully, “I wish you would've picked me. I could have made a stallion out of you. Well, I think so, you would have been my first, but Rarities’ romance novels have some mighty fun sounding ideas.” She raised her head an whispered into my ear, “You’re the first one I even considered given myself to, you know that?”
She put her head back on my shoulder, “Do you know how many stallions come courting for me? Well, the ones who get past Mac? Two or three every season. I get em callin’ on me, all fine looking I suppose, but none can hold a candle to you. You’re always putting family first, even the family you can’t do nothing with. If I could spend an hour alone with you, I know I could make you love me.” She giggled, “Golly, would RD ever be mad. But, naw, I wouldn’t do that to her. She’s my best gal pal. I so wish things had gone differently. But, if wishes were something, then something would happen.“ She chuckled and the song came to an end.
“Well, thank you kindly for letting me pretend for a few minutes. I loves you Alex, and if things ever don’t work out, please think of me.” She pulled away and kissed me.
It was just a little peck, but I knew I was a dead man.
A big thank you to earthrise.ponies for all the hexapod anatomical help.