Authors notes: Despite the ratings of the previous chapter, I got rather positive reviews in the comments, which is what I am going for, if you are not going to bother on telling me what you didn’t like, don’t bother expecting improval, however I was asked to use more development, so here is chapter 2, where Epic Mctrolol is on trial for murder.
As Epic walked into the courtroom, he knew no attorney on Earth or Equestria would defend him. He was prepared to defend himself, prepared to watch as proved himself innocent, he played a shitload of Phoenix Wright, but the way he was planning on winning this case wasn’t legal.
He walked into the courtroom, ready to show evidence of his innocence (if he were innocent), all his evidence was in this briefcase and on his left hand. He was ready to prove himself innocent and free of charges. He was ready to prove his powers, he was ready to prove that he killed that mary sue for a reason.
As he sat down, the judge, the Mane 6, and the mary sue that he thought was dead, were all staring him down.
“EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”, yelled Raven, angered at her death earlier.
“First explain how your alive.”, he replied, bored as all hell.
“Easy, Fluttershy’s love for me, combined with my good will for all brought me back, in what was a true moment that touched the heart. Of course you wouldn’t understand that because you don’t have a heart!” She yelled with anger at him.
“You mad bro?”, He calmly responded, before giving a smirk.
She sighed at his trolling nature, before she handed him a note, which he read aloud.
“Your worse than Discord was before he reformed, now he and Celestia are happily married, a fate you will soon meet with one, a fate you will soon understand, for you shall be shot by the Elements of Harmony, which will then revert you to a fine young man. For I believe that anyone no matter how insane can be fixed, for there is a light in all of us, a light which....”
He started scribbling down some words on the paper and threw it to her in the form of a paper airplane, which she then unfolded and read aloud.
“TL;DR, stop writing down bullcrap and get to the point.” She read aloud before facehoofing at his mediocre response to her long written work, the one she took all night to write just to prove that she forgave him.
“Please, young 4channer, if you give us the time we can take all of the bad memories out of you.” she said aloud, an honest look in her beautiful violet (?) eyes.
“Bad memories? RULE NUMBER ONE, DON’T TALK ABOUT /b/!” He yelled at her. “How did you know I was a 4channer anyway?”
“You really didn’t make it that hard to find out.” The alicorn replied rolling her violet (?) eyes.
Pinkie Pie went rambling on and on about interrupting her sale by killing her client.
Twilight said something about using Spike as a soccer ball being unforgivable.
Applejack was mad about the molotov cocktails he threw at Sweet Apple Acres, that ended up destroying half of the trees.
Rarity just said the blood was too horrid a site to look at.
Rainbow Dash was in Cloudsdale at the time.
Fluttershy took out all her anger and literally tried to kick him in the face, but he used his awesomeness to dodge it.
Epic was about to hear the verdict, whether or not he would be deemed free or guilty, and he knew the guilty verdict was ahead unless he did something.
The judge spoke up, “Well it is clear to us that this man is definitely not normal, he is the same species Raven was when she first entered. I would come down to this, this man is obviously a terrorist.”
“OBJECTION!” Epic shouted, using his Phoenix Wrightness to win the case. “If I am a terrorist then my left hand wouldn’t have THIS!” He pulled off his leather biker glove and showed everyone 3 glowing golden triangles, The Triforce of Courage.
“What is that!?” said the judge.
Epic facepalmed at this question. “I know newfags can’t triforce, but when a newfag doesn’t even know what a triforce is, THAT IS SAD!”
The Alicorn mary sue questioned him however, “How do we not know you had that tattoed?”
He pulled out a sword with a blue handle and the exact same mark on the handle as his left hand.
“Listen bitch, my hearts are full, you better shut your pie-hole.” Epic replied.
“I got this sword at a garage sale, the guy who owned it said only the purest of heart could have it, at second glance of me he was all like “It is dangerous to go alone, take this!”. That is my proof. “
The judge merely shook his head, “ I find that to be crap, also I find the Defendant, GUILTY!”, right before he slammed his gavel, a laser shot out of the sword and went right through him.
“I warned you that my hearts were full.” Epic said, sheathing the sword.
“Well it does not matter you are guilty!” said Raven.
“Sorry, the judge decides that. Not the mary-sue.” said Epic, with a smirk on his face.
“But he did decide you were guilty! You killed him afterwards.” Twilight interrupted getting a nod from everyone in the room.
“Yeah but it’s not made official until the gavel is slammed, and since he was the only official judge, noone in here can officially make the decision.” Epic started to do his victory dance.
“I have had enough of your foolery, baliff, take him to be blasted by the Elements of Harmony.” yelled Rarity.
The baliff merely shrugged, “Actually, he is right, he just saved himself from the Elements.”
“Something tells me this is going to be a long day.” said Twilight as she watched Epic doing the Electric Slide.
Authors notes: Was this chapter any better, :D.