An Old Legend from the Tellings of the Mint Green Unicorn
By Sam Tyler Coltridge
Long ago in a distant land, there lived a human named Barrett Attaway. The disdain he had for ponies and all other beings in the equine world of Equestria was great, so much that some humans of his world gave him the title “The Hater of all Haters”. His hatred was not only at Equestria, but other worlds as well; the Cul-de-sac, Bikini Bottom, Fairy World, the Middle of Nowhere, and so forth.
But then a foolish Brony author wielding the power of friendship, stepped forth to oppose him. Before the author could say anything, Barrett immediately unleashed a barrage of ready-made attacks.
“I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again to you people, My Little Pony is a girl’s show and that’s who should watch it! I am a Man!” he said.
The author left, silent with grief, and Barrett continued with his day. It wasn’t until the Sixth day that the deities of the moon and sun came forth from their world to his in sensing the despair of the author. Grandfather’s hands pointed up; half the world was cast into darkness, and the other under light. The Divine alicorns confronted Barrett on the line that divided half lit Earth, the black one in the night and the white one in day. Closer and closer they seemed to him, but then it was as though their presence slowly kissed away all feeling from his body, and he began to topple backwards.
“You have lost something, and you will seek to retrieve it” the White one said. With every passing moment of his fall, all he can see through the blur was the sun and moon, rising and setting over and over, until he finally fell…asleep.
He awoke in a world of ink and paint, believing it’s all a dream. The Equestrian deities, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, have torn open a portal in the universe, and flung him into another, where nothing is law, a universe, where all worlds are one. Now the human seeks to return his own, and wake up from this nightmare caused by those confounded horses.