(A/N:Here we go!)
"Alrighty then! Gin and Tonic for our local drunk, straight up Applejack Daniels and Brandy for our tourist buddy, Mojito for our local teacher lady and a Bourbon for Mr. Gentlmen by his lonesome over at the single table! C'mon up here man! " Confetti rolled out the drinks as the regulars filed in.
Underneath Sugarcube corner was Gin Way, the local 'nightclub' as Pinkie called. it. Really it was less Nightclub then Bar but eh, it paid, and pretty fucking well to boot. And some of the regulars were real nice n' friendly to talk to as well.
Confetti was doing what Confetti does best, handing out drinks and making of the small talks.
Author that came out weird as fuck from where I heard it.
Oh fuck you too.
Suddenly the door opened up and there was Quiet Storm and Phoenix. Once they saw Confetti serving drinks, they smiled. Or rather Phoenix smiled.
EYO Confetti! Phoenix violently waved his hooves at the mint stallion. Confetti merely rolled his eyes and motioned for the two to join him.
So then, what's up guys?
He began cleaning a mug with a soft cloth he found lying around.
Ah you know, the usual. Met some ponies, screwed around.
Quiet suddenly dawned the most confuddled expression.
Since when does burning down half of AJ's Barn constitute as "screwing around?"
Confetti snickered, Phoenix rolled his eyes and lightly punched Quiet's shoulders.
Righty then chaps! What can I get'cha? Confetti leaned out against the bar and looked them dead in the eyes.
Phoenix and Quiet smirked.
Get me the strongest thing you have.
Get me the strongest thing you have.
The two wheeled around and stared at each other.
Confetti gingerly went to a barrel and twisted the spigot, instantly a dark yellow liquid poured out.
I call this, "The Jarate". Drink with caution.
He then began slowly backing as he poured two mugs full.
First one to spew loses. Phoenix swiftly pulled the mug and began chugging.
Oh it's on sucka. Quiet did the same.
Confetti just looked on with a complete pokerface.
This can only end in tears.
I'M GAUNNA GEAUT MA GASTL AND PROSTRAGE YER GAAAAAAT! Pheonix stepped out in the night air. Or rather burst through the roof. Quiet Storm swaggered out, both were heavily influenced.
COME- *hiccup* AT ME HOE! He held out his hooves and promptly fell backwards groaning.
NAO WAIT JUST A *hiccup* BLOOD-EY MINUTE! I WANT MAH CAKES! MY- *hiccup* PLAIN CAIKES! Somehow during the midst of the contest, Confetti had gotten drunk.
Quiet Storm turned around. The stupidest grin on his face.
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH! YOU SU FU- he was cut off as Phoenix slugged him across the face and started laughing.
Dyrilby, who had been watching this scene of increasing idiocy merely shook his head and stalked off to the still open door of Sugarcube Corner where he was greeted by a smiling Pinkie.
Alright. Pinkie, what happened here? As soon as the words left his mouth.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL Confetti n' Quiet Storm n' Mustang starteddringingandnowthey'redeaddrunkafteradrinkingcontestandyouknowhwatIcouldgoforrightnow?Abigsliceofkiwipieand-
Dyrilby merely narrowed his eyes and walked off leaving the mare babbling into thin air.
*Sigh* I need a drink.
Dryilby awoke with a pounding headache.
"Ugh...what the fuck." He mumbled opening and closing his eyes rapidly. Feeling heavy for some reason, he moved his hindquarters around for a bit..until he felt something move. Looking down, he saw that cuddling him, was a male dolphin wearing a tophat and a monocle with a full on erection, Lyra who was a sleep, Bon Bon, and Colgate.
His left eye scrunched up with plain disgust, not so much about the three mares underneath him, more about the dolphin. Slowly easing away from the 4, he looked up to find himself in Sugarcube Corner.
Apparently, somewhere within the random drunken escapade the quartet must have carried out, some serious shit had happened.
For one thing, there was a Changling wearing a kinky leather suit with a bunch of stallions all hoofcuffed around it. He assumed it was a female since there was jizz all over her face. With a slowly opening opening mouth (out of sheer "wat") He walked through Sugarcube corner.
The more he saw, the more he thought it looked like a weird, orgy between slugs and a surrealist. For one, there was some sort of green ooze everywhere, for another, there were a lot of Changelings everywhere.
Not to mention what looked like a Tank on fire somehow balancing on it's cannon in the dead center. Making his way upstairs, he soon found out, that no, none of Sugar Cube Corner had been spared.
Vinyl Scratch was passed out, her horn somehow stuck into a dart board. There was a GAINT WACKY INFLATABLE ARMS dude on fire, still swinging upside down stuck to the ceiling in the middle of the hallway.
But what really took the cake?
He opened the door to the master bedroom, and I swear I heard jaws hit the floor.
Cuddling on the bed, was Jabba the Hut, Confetti, Quiet Storm, The Changeling Queen, Queen Chrysalis, Pinkie Pie, Pinkamena Diane Pie, A Manticore wearing a a Dragon's costume being rearended 69 style by a Pig, Futa Fluttershy with a MASSIVE cock, Rainbow Dash's head poked out from a hole in the ceiling, and Applejack and Rarity had passed out freaking eating eachother out
Dyrilby stood there for a second, jaw open and left eye spasmodically twitching. Then, all of a sudden, he started walking towards the window, his mind overcome with the sheer "dafuq is dis" factor.
Mistakes were made. Mistakes were made HARD on this day. And with his mind not functioning properly, he walked out of the window and fell two storeys.
(A/N: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA OH GOD THAT WAS FUN TO WRITE XD)