The Pyro and The Engineer's Misadventures in Equestria

by The Pyro King


Part 6: The Hunt for Uranium and Pyro's Items

Author's Note: This was supposed to be published yesterday, but something happened and I had to delay it. Sorry!


Chapter 1: No Way Back

"That's it! I'm seeking professional help now!", thought Trixie. Soon, she would have her revenge. Not only with Pyro and Engineer, but with all the other ponies. She knew exactly who to call. But first, she would need to finish cleaning this mess.

"Uhh, sorry if I am bein' rude, but we need a place t'stay.", said Engineer.

"No, you're not! You can stay here.", said Twilight.

"Okay. Well, where can me and Pyro stay?", Engineer continued.

"There's only three places open for visits. There's the Sugarcube Corner, the Sweet Apple Acres and the Hotel. However, the Sugarcube Corner and the Sweet Apple Acres only have one slot, and the Hotel obviously is paid, and I doubt your currency is the same as ours.", said Rarity. "Well, that is if your place doesn't uses bits.", she continued.

"Nah. Even though we have many currency types, I don' think there's a currency called bits.", he said. "Well, I guess Pyro stays at the Sugarcube Corner, and I stay at the Sweet Apple Acres.", he continued.

Pyro jumped with excitement. The only thing he didn't liked is that it was the same place he did that ridiculous thing. But he guessed that they forgot by now. After all, that happened about between morning and midday, and it was now reaching the middle of the night.

"Well, me and Luna are heading back to Canterlot now.", said Celestia. "Applejack, you should help Engineer with gathering uranium. If possible Pyro should help, too.", she continued. The two princesses then headed back to Canterlot.

Pyro didn't wanted to leave, so he wouldn't help. Even if that meant to damage Engineer, he would not help. He wanted to stay in Ponyville for the rest of his life. However, the Engineer was thinking the exact opposite of what the Pyro was thinking.

"Dammit. I don' know how RED's doin'. An' it's already night. I hope the darn BLUs haven't capped Dustbowl base.", said Engineer.

"Then we should get the uranium as fast as possible. Unfortunaly, we can't start just now. As ya see, it's night. We got to sleep.", said Applejack. "C'mon, follow me!", she continued.

"Okay. I just hope that we can get the uranium quick enough.", Engy replied as he followed the orange pony.

"Hey Pyro, c'mon! Let's go to the Sugarcube Corner!", said Pinkie as she started bouncing up and down towards the bakery, followed by Pyro, who was bunnyhopping.

Pyro was sure they had forgotten about that little cupcake incident. However, Mrs. Cake's reaction proved otherwise.

"Hey, Pinkie! Is that the person who tried to eat a cupcake and failed?", she asked. Both her and Pinkie laughed. Pyro knocked out cold.


Pyro awoke some time later on a strange room. Had he returned back home? Pyro started to get worried. Unfortunaly - Fortunaly, for him, he was still in Equestria. He was apparently in somepony's bedroom. He was about to think which pony resided in this bedroom, on which he was interrupted by Pinkie comming, carrying two trays.

"Oh, you're awake! Sorry for laughing earlier, I didn't knew you became embarrased, so I brought dinner for you! Oh wait, right, you cannot eat with the mask! But we can solve it!", she said. She put the trays on a table, then jumped above Pyro. Pyro had mixed feelings at that time. Was she going to......oh good. She was only trying to pull his mask off. Unfortunaly, it was excruciatingly painful for him. The mask had eventually sticked to Pyro's skin, making it insanely painful to take it out. Pyro started to scream, indicating that it was painful. Pinkie stopped trying.

"Well, I suppose you cannot eat. But how can you survive without eating?", she said as she drawed her face closer to Pyro's face. Pyro remembered that he could open the filter. Why he didn't remembered it when he tried to eat the cupcake? Oh, the teleporter must have made him forget about it. He decided to pop out the filter.

"Ooh, you can do that! But why didn't you did it when you tried to eat the cupcake? Oh, and why you don't talk with the filter?", she asked.

Pyro noticed how he forgot how to talk, after all those years without being able to talk. All he knew to do is to make some groaning noises. He still couldn't answer. He went to the tray. It was a salad. Oh god, Pyro hated salads. He was not veggie. He was a carnivore. Problem is, it seemed that on this world, no meat is produced. Well, that's a downside. Pyro poked the salad. The salad was made of grass, lettuce, carrot, and all things Pyro hated. However, Pyro thought that this salad wouldn't taste so bad. He decided to take a bite.

*Nom nom noms, om nom*

*Vomit*

Pyro couldn't believe it. That was worse than the salad he ate before. It tasted like raw grass, like it was horse food!

...

Actually, it makes sense, since they were ponies. He took a big sip of the milk to take the gross taste of the salad out.

"Sorry, I didn't knew you didn't liked sandwiches! Anyway, what do you like to eat?", she asked.

Pyro wasn't sure about what to do. He alterady couldn't speak properly, so he doubted she would be able to understand.

"Mm mhlk shmmllmm.", Pyro mumbled.

"You mean you like chilli?", Pinkie answered.

Pyro was shocked. In all the years in the battlefield, no single man had even understood him. And Pinkie seemed to understand correctly what he said! He made an energetic nod.

"Ok, I'll be-righty-back!", she said as she picked Pyro's tray and bounced happily out of the bedroom. Pyro decided to go clean the vomit with the toilet paper.

Meanwhile....

"I don' happen to eat hay, ma'am. Is there anythin' else to eat?", asked Engineer.

"Well, we can prepare an apple pie. Is that okay for ya?", answered Applejack. Engineer answered with a nod.

Engy was chilling on the free room that was available at the Sweet Apple Acres. Even though the food there was generally not satisfying for him, that place had something Engineer liked: Plenty of space. Plus, he loved eating pies. He could get used to that place. Still, he was bothered that he couldn't defend the RED base. At this time, the BLUs probably took control of the RED entrance, and are capturing the RED base. Oh, if they ever manage to capture Dustbowl, the REDs would be on an extreme disadvantage, as they would only have Well on their domain. And it would be a matter of speed. As they would need to insert the fuel on the rocket before BLU could insert on their own rocket, so the RED's rocket could blow up BLU's Well base, and retake their posession on Dustbowl. He quickly remembered that he wouldn't bury his face on the pie, so he quickly crafted himself a fork and a knife.

"Alright, the pie is done.", said Applejack as she entered the room Engineer was in. "Ah, I remember Lyra sayin' something about humans eating with forks and knives. Now I see that it was true.", she continued.

"Yeah. And certain people, like Spy, are very restrictive 'bout it. They even use forks and knives when eating certain things that don't need 'em, like bread.", replied Engineer, as he started eating his pie.

"Well, I'll go sleep now. See ya tomorrow!", she said. Engineer nodded.

After he finished eating his pie, he went to sleep.


Due to Pyro's satisfied look upon eating the chilli, Pinkie realized that Pyro likes eating hot stuff. She didn't even knew how Pyro could withstand the chilli, it was burning hot and Pyro consumed it anyway. Even milk seemed not enough to cool down the chilli. As soon as Pyro finished eating, he laid down and slept on the secondary bed. Pinkie then decided to sleep, too.

At the next day...

"wake up....", a voice said.

Pyro shaked slightly.

"wake up....!", the voice continued.

Pyro groaned.

"Wake Up!", the voice screamed.

Pyro opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Pinkie's face.

"Oh, finally you're awake! C'mon, I want to show you more parts of this town!", she said.

Pyro slowly got up. His vision was still blurred, but he could still have his senses. He went outside the Sugarcube Corner, now filled with ponies on the waiting line. However, as soon as he put his feet outside of the bakery, three fillies appeared next to him and Pinkie. He noticed they were the same ponies that appeared earlier on the treehouse, who seemed to be called the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'.

"Hey, look at what we found!", said Apple Bloom, wearing the Pyro's Marxman goggles.

"Ha! You look ugly!", mocked Scootaloo, who was wearing Pyro's Human Cannonball.

"Your hats are stolen again! Look at the tags!", broke in Sweetie Belle, who unlike the other fillies, was wearing no hat, but was holding Pyro's Neon Annihilator.

"You lied, just like before! Also, you're wearing no hat!", replied Apple Bloom.

"Why would I wear items that were picked up from a trash can?", said Sweetie Belle.

"They are not from a trash can! Even if they were, you would be holding something that came from a trash can!", yelled Scootaloo.

Again, the school ponies broke into a fight amongst themselves. Pyro yelled something.

"STHOFPH!", yelled Pyro. The CMC stopped fighting. He pointed at the Marxman, Neon Annihilator and Human Cannonball. "Tfhis, mhine!", he mumbled, shortly after pointing at him. The three fillies raised an eyebrow.

"He means those super-duper interesting items belong to him!", traducted Pinkie. The fillies answered with an 'Oooh!'. However, before Pyro could get his items back, the three fillies wearing his items backed up.

"No, no! You're not getting our items unless you beat us in a hide-'n'-seek game!", said Apple Bloom. "You two count to 20 while me, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo hide!", she continued.

"Oh, I wanna play too! I'll hide!", said Pinkie.

"Alright! Well, Pyro, start counting!", said Scootaloo.

Pyro went to a wall, and started counting. Pyro mumbled to himself "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14...15...16...17...18...19...20!"

Pyro decided to head north-west from the Sugarcube Corner, as it was most likely that one of the four were there. After walking for 7 seconds, he realized that there were more people hiding in there than they expected. A hot pink tail and two brighter pink rear hooves were poking out of a bush.

"C'mon, hide yourself! Pyro most likely alterady started!", said a young voice.

"I'm trying, but this bush is so small and so super-duper tickling that I can't fit in!", answered another voice, who finally fully hid.

Pyro snuckt up on the bush, and pulled it down, revealing both Pinkie and Scootaloo.

"Dammit, they found us! I told ya to hide!", said Scootaloo with an angered tone.

"I'm sorry!", answered Pinkie.

"Argh, fine, mask. Have your helmet. I don't need it, anyway.", said Scootaloo before heading away. Pyro wore his Genuine Hat, and cheered.

"Sorry, Pyro, I gotta go back to the Sugracube Corner! Good luck!", said Pinkie as she bounced back to the bakery. Pyro felt slightly sad. He wanted to discover the other two fillies along with her. Anyway, Pyro still had a mission to conclude. He decided to look around the center of the town.


Pyro was shocked by seeing one of the two remaining ponies out in the open, right next to Rarity's shop. It appeared that Sweetie Belle was being scolded by Rarity. He snuckt up on them.

"And WHY would you even try to steal a public sign? Not only that is illegal, but that's an act of bandits! I have teached you not to grow up like a bandit, and now you're acting like one?", yelled Rarity.

"But, but I'm trying to tell yo-", squeaked Sweetie Belle, before being interrupted.

"I said no more buts!", yelled Rarity, before noticing Pyro approaching. "Oh, hi, mister! Look what Sweetie belle did!", said her.

Pyro looked at the sign she was holding. He picked up the sign, and said "Smh sphthol mhy ithyem! Fhanks!".

"Wait, is this your item?", asked Rarity. Pyro nodded. She looked at Sweetie Belle.

"I was trying to tell you. Me and the others found some items dropped around Ponyville, and we took them, and today we found out it belonged to Pyro! I was trying to find him to give it to him!", lied Sweetie Belle.

"Oh! I'm sorry, truly sorry for scolding you for no reason, I didn't knew that. Oh, silly me!", said Rarity before entering her shop. Pyro was dumbfounded by seeing the filly lieing. But atleast he had his Genuine back. She was off the hook for now. He did a fake thumbs-up to the filly, and once Rarity entered, he switched the thumbs-up to an 'Im watching you' gest, before going away.


Ok, the last filly was going to be hard. He had looked around every corner of Ponyville. Well, every corner except the Sweet Apple Acres. He started to head to there, completely forgetting that Engineer and Applejack were there mining for uranium, and had tasked him to help them. Pyro entered the place, without noticing Engineer and company. Pyro looked around every corner of the plantations. He saw the foliage of every vegetable sticking out of the soil.

Green, green, green, green, green, red, green, wait, RED?!?! Pyro inspected the red foliage. Other than the color, it was nothing like the other green foliage. It seemed too off-place and unrealistic. Not to mention it was taller than the other foliage. He decided to yank it. But what if it was really a vegetable? Whoever was the owner of the place would chew on him. But he ignored it. He was determined to find that yellow filly. He held the red foliage, and started to push it with all of his strength. He did it, at the cost of landing his butt heavily on the ground. To his surprise, it was really the pony, who was gasping for air.

"Finally! *gasp* I thought you...*gasp*...would never....*gasp*....find me....*gasp*...!", she said. Pyro quickly looked at her face. The glasses were not there. He placed her on the ground, and started looking for the hole that she had buried herself into. nothing there.

"You thought I would have the glasses with me? Of course not, I hid them somewhere else!", she said. Pyro was confused. Now where she placed Pyro's goggles?

Meanwhile...

"What did ya got?", asked Applejack.

"Seems to be Pyro's goggles. A yellow filly gave it to me.", Engineer answered. "I'm going to give them back to Pyro via trade.", he continued.


Just as Pyro started thinking, he recieved a trade request. Wow, he still had acess to trade requests on Equestria. He opened it. Oh, it was from the Engineer. What was Engineer going to trade him with? Just as Pyro thought of that, the Engineer offered the Pyro's missing goggles, and he didn't asked anything in return. Pyro immediatly accepted the trade.

"Dammit, I knew I shouldn't of have gave it to him!", mumbled Apple Bloom, as she walked away.

Pyro had his loadout completed again. He cheered by doing his air guitar taunt. Pyro remembered that he was tasked to help Engineer and Applejack to find uranium to return to the world. Pyro frowned upon this. If there's one thing he was thinking, it was that he would NOT help. He would plan to do something that would convince the two to forget about having him to help. He walked sadly to the mining point.


Just as Engineer was starting to wonder when Pyro would come, his gas-masked friend came.

"There ya are, Pyro! Could ya help us to dig a mining hole here? Just like Minecraft, except it's in real life! Well, sorta.", said Engineer. Even though Pyro liked Minecraft, he still didn't wanted to help.

"Nho.", mumbled Pyro as he shook his head.

"Wait, what? Y'want to stay in this world?", asked Engineer.

"Uh-huh.", Pyro answered as he nodded.

"Ugh. I guess ya can explore 'round 'ere while we try to find some uranium. Then, I guess we can stay 'ere for a li'l more time.", answered Engineer. Pyro jumped with joy as he left the place.

Before Engineer could even notice, Applejack had alterady dug a big tunnel.

"Whoa! Ya have alterady made a mineshaft?!", asked Engineer.

"Yeah, that was nothing.", answered Applejack.

"Well, I guess we need to have something t'repair our pickaxes. And that's the role of a Dispenser.", said Engineer. He picked up his calculator-like PDA, pressed a button, and a toolbox appeared in front of him. Engineer withdrew his PDA, opened his toolbox, and a machine started to set up.

"Dispenser goin' up!", said Engineer as he started to smack the Dispenser with his wrench, speeding up the process. "Well, I suppose we can use the dispenser to repair our pickaxes whenever they break.", he said. "Anyway, back to the minin'!", continued him before the two entered the tunnel, while carrying a lantern.

The two stumbled into an underground cave, containing a massive lake. That was nothing of their interest, though. They explored some more, and they couldn't believe what they saw: A massive vein of uranium! The two started mining the uranium, with Engineer storing the uranium in his backpack. They only stopped when their pickaxes broke.

"Well, time to repair them.", said Applejack. The two headed back into the surface, and repaired their pickaxes with the dispenser. Unfortunaly, the dispenser was level 1, thus, it took 3 minutes to repair the pickaxes. "Isn't there any faster way to repair them?", she asked.

"Well, I can upgrade the dispenser to level 3. It'll upgrade much faster.", answered Engineer. He picked his wrench, and smacked the dispenser with it. The dispenser upgraded to level 2. Still, it would take 1.5 minutes to fully repair a pickaxe. He smacked it a few times more, and it upgraded to level 3. "Now it'll repair a pickaxe within 30 seconds.", he said.

The two went again underground and to the uranium vein. Unfortunaly, something was guarding the uranium vein.

It was the cave monster.

TO BE CONTINUED...