The Pyro and The Engineer's Misadventures in Equestria

by The Pyro King


Part 3: Welcome, Guests!

Previously on this story...

"If you incompetent fools fail to protect our Dustbowl rocket, we will only have The Well on our domain!" - The Announcer

"Our team isn't cooperatin' very well. I doubt we will win this war." - The Engineer

"I know you came from a war world, but can't ya have atleast some RESPECT?!?!?!" - Rainbow Dash

"Nah, forget about the war, everything will go well." - Twilight Sparkle

"Oh no, I won't let them be the center of the attentions here." - Trixxie

"Mmmm Mmmmrgh!" - The Pyro

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The Mane 6 were showing Pyro and Engineer around Ponyville, as we saw in Part 2. Pyro was taking the lead, even though he didn't even knew the place. He went to the left, and to the right, inspecting closer the stores and such, just like a little kid.

"Umm, is he alyways like that?", quietly asked Fluttershy to Engineer.

"Yep, Pyro's alyways like that. Still, neither me or my team know why he's like that.", Engineer answered.

The nine stopped at the Sugarcube Corner.

"This is where I both work and live! Cool, isn't it?", said Pinkie, as she quickly entered it, followed by Pyro, who was followed by the other eight.

The place had a very long waiting line. It seemed that the cupcakes seemed to be the best around, erm, Equestria? Engineer wasn't totally sure about that world, but it became more interesting after every second. Most ponies were looking at Pyro and Engineer. Some were scared, others actually liked them, mostly because no life outside Equestria was ever found. These two were the first ones, and they weren't even from this universe, they came from another dimension! Even though, Engineer was bothered.

"Uhh, mind if we move on?", politely asked Engy, while backing away from the ponies that stared deeply onto his soul.

"What? Aww, I just got a cupcake for you two!", Pinkie said, carrying two cupcakes.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I'll get one.", Engineer said, even though he wasn't in the mood. He ate a cupcake before, in TF2's 15th anniversary. God, that cupcake was not tasty. It was completely blue, it looked like it was chemically-made, not to mention it also remembered RED about their arch-enemies, the BLUs. The only ones who liked the cupcakes were Scout, Heavy and Spy. However, Pinkie's cupcakes were much different from TF2's cupcakes. He took one bite. At first, a horrible taste of dirt came through his mouth. He almost spat it out, but then the strawberry part came in, completely nullifying the dirt taste. He stared at the cupcake, before finishing it off in less than 5 seconds. He cleaned his mouth, and realized what he had done. Most ponies were staring at him, specially Rarity. "Whoops. Sorry, I just never ate something too awesome like this!", he said.

Pyro felt bad. As much as he wanted to eat the cupcake, his mask didn't allowed him to do so. But that didn't meant he couldn't try to do it, though! He picked the second cupcake, then smashed it on the mask's filter. Nope. Didn't work, all it did was to get his gas mask full of cupcake strawberry, and to move all of the ponies' awkward staring from Engineer to him. Even Mrs. Cake looked at Pyro. He backed up.

"Oove up!", Pyro said angrily as he busted out of the Sugarcube Corner, followed by Pinkie, then Engineer, then the rest of the ponies.

While on the way, an awkward sound played, and two floating messages saying 'You have new Items! Click here to open' appeared in front of Pyro and Engineer.

"What's that?", asked Twilight.

"It seems me and Pyro got some new items.", Engineer explained. Both he and Pyro pressed the message. "Hmm, let's see.....YEAH, I got the Unusual Texas Ten Gallon!", Engineer exclaimed as he pulled his backpack, and collected a white cowboy hat with star particles surrounding him. The tag readed 'Unusual Texas Ten Gallon - Level 125 hat. Effect: Sparkly Bright'. "Mmm, well, I don' need this darn hat anymore.", Engineer said as he picked his regular Texas Ten Gallon. "Hey, ya want to wear this hat, ma'am?", offered Engineer to Applejack.

"Sure. My hat's been gettin' old these days.", she explained as she wore the Engineer's old hat. "Thanks, mister.", she said.

"No problem.", Engineer answered with a tip of his new unusual.

Rarity just kept staring at Engineer's new 'unusual' hat. It was nothing different from the previous hat he had, except for a sparkly effect. She was about to ask him what's so important about an Unusual hat, but she was interrupted by Pyro.

"Huddah Huddah Huh!", Pyro cheered as he grabbed a Genuine Neon Annihilator and thrusted it on the air, along with a Genuine Human Cannonball hat and a Marxman. Rarity tried not to laugh at the Pyro's visual. He almost looked like a Street Gangster trying to infiltrate something with a crappy disguise goggles.

"I don't want to be rude, but, Pyro looks kinda...off....", Rarity suggested. Pyro shrugged.

"It's part of a new update, the Triad Pack.", Engineer answered.

"What is the Triad Pack about?", asked a curious Lyra.

"It's an update focusing about urban stuff. As such, things as weird as items Pyro got 'ere are the focus of the update.", said Engineer, much to the dislike of Rarity.

"Well, we are very close to my shop, so, I'd like to Pyro to take out these items. I don't want some 'urban' guy on my shop. Please?", begged Rarity.

"Nho.", said Pyro, as he hugged his new Genuine meelee weapon.

"I don' think it will be easy to get Pyro to take off his new items. Last time Heavy tried to force-trade Pyro's Back Scratcher with the Ghastlier Gibus, Heavy got beaten up violently by Pyro. I don' want Pyro to do the same to you.", Engineer said.

"Ugh. Fine, just don't get him to touch anything.", Rarity said.

The nine people and ponies entered what appeared to be Rarity's boutique shop. Engineer wasn't really interested in the dresses and suits on the store, mostly because they were meant for ponies, not humans. But Pyro didn't really seemed to care. He almost picked one, but was stopped by a paranoid Rarity.

"I told you not to touch this!", she said. Pyro lowered his head on a sorry stance.

The Engineer was searching around the store to look for something that could work with him. Suddently, he stumbled into something that him, Pyro, his teammates and even his enemies loved the most: Hats. He approached a golden top hat decorated with sparkly dots, along with what appeared to be badges. There were six badges: An apple badge, a butterfly badge, a thunderbolt badge, a badge he could not decipher, a sparkle badge, and even some party balloons badge.  He decided to wear that hat.

"Whoowe, would ya look at that!", Engineer said. "Can I borrow this hat?", he asked.

"Oh, it's the hat me and my friends made!", Rarity said as she trotted next to Engineer. "We've been using it as a decoration, but, since you two are one of the most special guests we've ever recieved, I guess you can borrow it.", she continued.

"Thanks, ma'am.", Engineer replied, again, tipping his hat. "Well, I don' know what to do with my unusual now.", he continued.

Pyro looked over at the oportunity. He was jealous of Engineer's unusual, and even of his new hat, but atleast he could have his newly-found unusual hat. He approached it, and did a begging stance.

"Ok. Ya can borrow it.", Engineer said as he gave Pyro his now-useless Unusual hat. He knew Pyro would be jealous of Engy's new hat, so the least he could do is to give him his unusual gallon.

The three then found Pinkie running at them.

"Hey, I got an idea!", she said. "We should make a party tonight celebrating Pyro and Pyro's friend's arrival at Ponyvile, because, well, they're only staying here for a week, and well, it'ssadtohavefriendsleaveusonvacuum,apartywouldbethebestthingwecoulddobeforetheywouldbesentbacktotheirdimensionandforgetaboutuseventuallyandthenweforgetaboutthem-blahblahblahblahblah-", she continued, before being completely non-understandeable. Before Engineer could even question, Rarity answered.

"Well, we would need to call the Princesses about this. I don't think they would be too excited to see that the two are here.", Rarity answered.

"Mmm, I kinda like the idea of having a party. But how we can notify the princesses, though?", Engineer asked.

"We can send it at Twilight's library! She is Celestia's number 1 student, she gets heard most of the times!", Pinkie answered.

"Ok, let's tell the other ponies about the idea!", said Rarity.

"Silly, they alterady know about the idea, I told it to them!", Pinkie said.

"Well, what are we doing 'ere, then? Off to Miss Sparkle's library!", Engineer said.

As such, the nine made their way to Twilight's library. Again, the Pyro was in the lead, still not knowing how to reach their destinations. He kept looking around the stores quickly in order to keep the lead. Most ponies actually found Pyro funny, others were just scared of him. While the Pyro was looking around the stories and keeping the 'lead', Lyra was once again asking Engineer questions.

"So, is there friendship on your planet?", she asked.

"Yeah. But not so intense as 'ere. After all, Earth is not a good, alyways-safe place to be, and it's absolutely horrible to learn it the bad way.", he answered.

"Do your teammates work as a team?", she continued.

"Not quite, even though they claim to be a team. Back before in 2011, RED managed to grab hold of Well, Dustbowl, Gravel Pit, Badwater Basin, Double Cross, Pipeline, 2Fort, Granary and Badlands' Capital just by working as a team, leavin' BLU with only Hydro under their control. Until, suddently, the REDs stopped working together, and BLU took care of Gravel Pit, 2Fort, Granary, and even prevented contact between us and the RED team from Badwater Basin, Double Cross and Pipeline.", he said.

"What might have happened with the REDs that lost their connections with your RED team?", she asked again.

"I dunno, neither does Pyro and the rest of my RED. Probably they died.", he continued.

"DIE?!?!", Fluttershy broke into the chat.

"Umm, yes, did you thought it was just a small, friendly push battle?", asked Engineer, slightly annoyed.

"Yeah....so, Earth is violent?", asked Fluttershy, again with her shy voice.

"Well, I better remember not to accidentally teleport you with me and Pyro when we go back. You'll definitely have a bad time on Earth, because you look like you're about to faint...", Engineer said. "Hey, are you thristy?", he tried to change subjects.

"Yeah, I suppose I am...", she continued.

"Then here's something for you to drink.", he said as he picked a can of Vintage BONK! Atomic Punch.

"Wow, even soda cans have tags on them?", asked Lyra.

"Yeah, pretty much every item that was made from Mann Co. haves tags on them.", Engineer explained, before handling the can to Fluttershy.

She then took a sip from the can, then spat it out. It was EXTREMELLY chemical, tasted like piss, and looked like it was extremely radioactive, since her mouth almost melted away.

"WOW!! I never drank something so horrible as this!", she said, now with a louder voice. She then put her hoofs on her mouth, both because she became afraid that somepony else heard her, and that she was not kind to Engineer.

"Yep, I agree. First time I drank BONK!, I did the same thing, but once I heard it makes you temporarily faster and invincible, I started to love it.", Engineer said, as he put the can back on his backpack.

Fluttershy was shocked upon hearing that it maked whoever drank it faster and invincible. She even felt a feeling of power. She decided to do something she would never do before: Perform a Sonic Rainboom.

"Hey, everypony! Look what I can do!", she said, as she flied upwards at an alarmingly-fast pace.

"What? What is she doing?", asked Rainbow Dash.

"Uhh, I decided to give her a can of BONK!, and she got a little too excited.", Engineer exclaimed. Even Pyro stopped to watch what was happening.

Fluttershy took a deep breath, then prepared to do the Sonic Rainboom. However, BONK!'s effect ended just before she was going to perform it. Unfortunaly, she was way too above, causing her to panic. Rainbow had to fly all the way up to her, then guide her back to the ground.

"Please, don't give me BONK! again...", she asked.

"Okay, I'll remember that.", Engy replied.

Before the nine could even notice, Pyro was alterady at Twilight's library. He indicated that by raising his Neon Annihilator up on the air while doing a battle cry. Engineer was not shocked by it being on the shape of a tree.

Inside the library...

"Finally! The library is cleaned and tidied up!", Spike said as he looked around proudly. Suddently, the door smacked open.

"SPIKE! We need to send a letter to Princess Celestia immediatly!", Twilight said.

"Okay, okay, why? And who are those guys?", Spike said as he pointed at Pyro and Engineer.

"We want to tell her and Luna that those guys accidentally teleported into our dimension, and they can only stay here for one day, so we want to give them a goodbye fest!", Pinkie said.

"Ummm, okay.", Spike said as he started writing on the paper. "There! Now to send it!", he continued. He then breathed his greenish flames on the paper, making it disappear.

"Wait, he burned the paper? We can't send the letter to the Princess if the paper is burned!", Engineer said.

"No, it doesn't works like that. His breath sends the letter to the Princess. When the Princess replies, he spits out the reply letter.", Twilight explained.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

"Princesses! A message for you!", yelled one of the guards as he bolted to the Princesses' throne rooms.

"Mmmm, let's see...", Celestia thought outloud. "Humans in Ponyville? Comming from Team Fortress 2?", she said.

"Uh oh, I don't like the sound of that.", Luna said.

"Yes, they don't seem too trustful. Although, due to how Twilight wrote in the message, the two humans seem to be friendly, and even seem to be the new center of attentions from Ponyville.", Celestia continued.

"Trixxie may not like this...", Luna thought.

"Well, it says that they can only stay for one day, and that they would like to throw a 'goodbye' party. Most likely Pinkie asked for that part.", she said.

"Wait, wasn't there a party celebrating the discover of crystallities this noon?", asked Luna.

Celestia grabbed a newspaper, and said "Apparently, the two arrived just in the middle of the celebration. Then the goodbye party may compensate the crystallities' party. Plus, it will be on the night, this means you will be in charge of the party!".

Luna grinned, it was one of the few times she got to shine.

"Well, then let's accept it!", she said.

Back into Ponyville...

Before Engineer could ask them to tell him when the Princess replied, Spike spat out a letter. Twilight grabbed it.

"Yes! They are fine with Pyro, Engy AND the party!", Twilight cheered, who was later followed by the rest of the ponies, and Engineer.

"Huddah!", Pyro cheered as he thrusted his Neon Annihilator on the air.

"Well, let's get the word spreaded 'round town!", said Applejack.

Twilight printed many copies of posters, then everyone and everypony formed groups and went around random sections of Ponyville.

Meanwhile, atop a mountain...

"Ugh, now they will make a PARTY?!?! Things get worse every second! I must make people have a different opinion on those two intruders!", Trixie said as she watched Twilight's library the seven ponies and two humans leave with posters. Her talking binocule sighed.

"Seriously, what's wrong with a party?", her binocule asked.

"I wasn't invited to the crystallities' party, and I probably will not be invited to this one, either!", she proclaimed.

"You weren't invited because you were greedy, AND you keep acting greedy like you are now. Seriously, everypony dislikes you because you're such a big showboat, and those two new guys will most likely hate you!", the sentient binocule answered. "I wish I had feet. Because, if I had, then I would walk away and leave you alone, for I do not approve of your behavior. And I smell that you have a plan.", the binocule continued.

"Of course I have a plan. I'll impersonate as one of them, and make the ponies have a bad impression of them!", she explained. She then started making a maniacal laughter. "And if you don't want to help me, so be it!", she said as she dropped the binocule on the mountain.

"Hey, don't leave me here! HEY!!", said the binocule. Unfortunaly, the selfish blue pony had alterady left the mountain. Although, the binocule could faintly see her using her magic to look exactly like the RED Pyro.

TO BE CONTINUED...