or: Pride Before a Lol
“Twilight, are you super-duper sure this is a good idea? Like really one-hundred-and-forty-four percent sure?”
“Of course Pinkie; I’ve been studying this spell for a week now, and it should let me read your mind. I don’t want to invade your privacy; I just want to see if it can be done. I’ll see what you had for breakfast or something, and then I’ll leave.”
“Yeah Pinkie, Twilight’s got this.” Spike chimed in.
“Well, I said I’d help, just be careful in there Twilight. You never know what sort of things could be in my brain! Hey, that chair looks kind of like a muffin from this angle…”
“Alright Pinkie, deep breaths, quiet your mind, then I’ll cast the spell.”
Twilight knew Pinkie trying to calm her mind wasn’t very likely to be successful, but she was the only one who had agreed to help Twilight with her practice. She double-checked the spellbook, and then prepared to cast the spell on Pinkie.
“Ok Pinkie, remember: calm mind.”
“Right, calm min—Hey look, a quarter!”
Twilight took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began to focus magic into her horn. It began to glow with her unique color, tiny, bright sparks falling off of it as she prepared to cast the spell. She took aim, and a stream of energy shot from the tip of her horn, and into the middle of Pinkie’s forehead.
A blurry image started to form in Twilight’s mind of the kitchen at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie’s hooves at the bottom of her field of vision. They started to prepare a…something. The longer Twilight watched the memory the clearer it became, until suddenly she sensed another memory, Pinkie cutting a slice of cake? Nonono, she had only meant to read her memories of breakfast, there shouldn’t any others entering her brain. And then another came, and another, and as Twilight lost track of the flood of memories and thoughts and words and feelings, she knew she had done something wrong. She tried to break the connection, but bits of Pinkie’s mind kept flowing into her.
Twilight mustered all the willpower she could and tried to pull her horn away. Somehow it worked and Twilight flung herself to the side, landing messily on a stack of books.
“Twilight!” Spike and Pinkie rushed to help her up, and as she stood it was clear she was a bit shaken, visibly wobbling as she tried to stand up.
“Twilight, are you alright? What happened?”
“Yeah, what happened!?”
“I’m… I’m fine. It’s just, I don’t know, mental whiplash or something. I was reading Pinkie’s memory of what she had for breakfast, but then all this other stuff rushed into my head…” Twilight lost her footing and fell again, Pinkie holding her up before she hit the floor.
“Wow Twilight, that spell really did a number on you…”
“Yeah, are you sure you’re ok? Like really, actually for real ok?”
“I’ll be fine. I just…need some time alone that’s all.” Twilight finally found her footing and managed to stand upright without Pinkie’s help. “I’ll just take some time to myself and I’ll be good as new.”
“Alright, Twilight, if you’re super-duper-super-super sure you’re fine…”
“Yes, you get going. I’ll just take a rest, and everything will be ok.”
Pinkie gave Twilight a long contemplative look, and then started hopping away. “Alrighty, but call me if you need any more help!” She shouted as she bounced out of the library.
Are you sure you’re alright? Like fight and flight and might quite alright?
“Yes Pinkie, I promise I’m fine.”
“Uh, Twilight, Pinkie left already… You’re not fine at all, are you?”
“Don’t be silly Spike, you’re talking to the most magical pony in all of Equestria, remember? I just need something to take my mind off the mental feedback. Maybe I’ll go check on my bulk order of parchment…” Twilight went to go get her bag and double-checked her errand list for the day, writing a note about her magic practice.
“Twilight, you really should rest. If you got hit with a bunch of Pinkie’s memories, your brain might, I dunno, explode from being too full!”
“Oh Spike, I was just dizzy for a moment. I made sure to protect Pinkie’s thoughts when I cast the spell, and I can always just cast a memory spell on myself later if too many got in. Don’t worry so much. If you need me I’ll be at the Parchment Palace.”
Twilight was already out of the door.
As Twilight headed for Ponyville’s business district, she could already feel the fresh air and sunlight making her head clearer.
Maybe you should skip to the store, instead of trotting!
“Pinkie I don’t think—” But when Twilight looked around there was nopony to be seen.
Who said that? It sounded like Pinkie Pie but, Twilight thought to herself. After a moment of confusion, she shrugged and continued on.
I mean, skipping is just so much fun!
I’m not going to skip! That’s just silly.
You’ll enjoy iiiiiiiit.
No, I won’t.
Skip skip, skip to my Lou, skip skip, skip to my Lou!
I’m not skipping!
Skip to my Lou, my darling!
As the Pinkie voice continued through her head, Twilight found her hooves starting to take bigger and bigger steps, and as her inner monologue continued to argue with it, it seemed to become louder and louder.
Skip skip skip skip skip… the voice chanted.
For the last time I’m not going to—
And when Twilight looked down she realized she was, in fact, skipping down Main Street. And now that she had started, she couldn’t seem to find any reason to stop.
She started humming a little, just to see how it might feel, and around the 7th verse of “Skip to My Lou” she found herself in front of the parchment shop.
Finally, I’m here. Funny, I’ve never heard that song before, but the words were so easy to remember…
She started to open the door, but her hoof paused just before the handle.
Why are we here?
To get more parchment.
What do we need all that parchment for?
Well, notes, schedules, research, bookmarks…
Those are boooooooooooring. Let’s go to the party supply shop!
I’m not going to the party supply shop! I need parchment not party paraphernalia!
But what if you need to throw a party later?
Why would I need to—?
Throw a party for your friends? Why, because they’re your friends, of course! We should throw a party for the whole town! We’re gonna need a lot of confetti and streamers though!
I don’t need—
More parchment? Thought not!
Twilight found herself walking away from the door, towards where Pete’s Party Supplies was.
I’ve never been to Pete’s Party Supplies… How do I know where it is?
You silly-billy, we go there all the time!
Twilight knew she had never seen the green and white building before, but its pink sign seemed so familiar, like she’d seen it a thousand times.
She walked through the door, and as the little bell rang, she saw the store was mostly empty, save for a single pony browsing the shelves.
“Twilight? What are you doing here? Did you rest, after that spell doozy made you woozy? I didn’t think you knew where Pete’s Party Supplies even was! Ooooh were you gonna throw a party? Cuz you know that’s my specialty if you need any help! I was making my usual bulk confetti order as a matter of fun fact. Fun fact! Cuz it’s a fact about parties!”
And in that moment Twilight realized what had happened.
“Oh my gosh… Pinkie, that’s it!”
“Ever since that spell did something weird earlier, I’ve been hearing this voice in my head…your voice, telling me to act like you! I think that spell must have done more than just let me read your mind; it put your entire mind inside mine! I…I think I need to sit down.” Twilight started breathing heavily, letting herself slowly fall to the floor.
“Wait, so you mean…my brain, is in your brain? And they’re…partying together? And getting all mixed up?”
“Yeah, I skipped all the way here, and I hummed a song I never heard. All of your knowledge must be seeping into my brain, coalescing with mine, making me act like you! I have to get back to the library and find a way to reverse the spell!”
Twilight tried to get up, but found herself staring at a disco ball that was on display on the shelf next to her.
Man I love disco balls! OOH and fog machines! Those things are sooo awesommmmee!
As Pinkie watched Twilight fire magical light at the discount disco ball display, giggling softly, she thought a thought that she might not have ought to thought;
Just like me?
“Hehe, wow, disco balls are awesome!”
“Twilight, do you like me?”
Twilight snapped out of her disco fever quite quickly. “What!? Of course I do! What kind of question is that? I’m your friend!”
“Well, you like me, and we’re friends, wouldn’t being just like me be a good thing?”
“I can’t be you Pinkie Pie; I’m already busy being me! I mean,” Twilight unsuccessfully struggled to get off the floor, “it has its ups and downs, being me, but you’re you, and I’m me, and there can’t be two of either of us! I just need to get back to the library and—”
“But Twilight, you’re always so uptight, and lonely. I can tell. I get lonely too, you know. I don’t like to let anypony know that, but ever since the first day I met you I could tell you were the same way.” Pinkie leaned in closer to Twilight’s face. “Just think how nice it would be. We could spend all day planning parties, singing songs, being with our friends, working in the bakery together! Neither of us would ever be alone again. We’d be friends forever. None of my friendships have lasted forever before…”
Twilight turned away and shut her eyes.
She’s right! Why be uptight and overworked, when we could be like Pinkie?
I don’t think I should—
Think? What’s to think about? I’m thinking we should just be like Pinkie. All those memories will settle into place before we can get them out anyway.
I don’t think I should be—
Twilight? You’re right; we tried that for a while, and all we got was stress. Why not just let go? Why not just—
Be like Pinkie?
Yes! Just be like Pinkie. Just be like Pinkie. Be just like Pinkie. Be just like Pinkie. Be like Pinkie. Be like Pinkie. Be Pinkie. Be Pinkie. Be Pinkie. Be Pinkie. Be Pinkie…
“Be…Pinkie…” She whispered softly to herself.
And when she opened her eyes that’s who was; Twinkie Pie Sparkle. Who she’d always been.
There was a creak of a door as Pete walked out of his storeroom. “Sorry Pinkie, I couldn’t find the purple confetti, must be all out…”
“Oh don’t worry, just put it on my usual order!” Pinkie turned to who used to be Twilight Sparkle. “Ready to go, Twi?”
“You bet, bestest friend! Bet, best, best bet, bet your best! Hahaha!”
As Twinkie and Pinkie walked out of the store together they turned to each other. “Just think, now we can be friends forever, Twilight.”
“I think I’m gonna go with Twinkie now. It reminds me of my favorite color! And forever’s a long time; we’d better get started right away!”