Taste McGillicuddy, the fastest and best pony, was at his house and there was a knock on the door. He flew super very fast down the stairs and didn't even walk cause he's too cool for stairs and opened door and there was Rainbow Dash who was his girlfriend on the other side. Rainbow Dash was fast and cool but Taste was the better but he liked her anyway cause she was also fast so that's why she was his girlfriend. Taste kicked open the door with his strong legs and it flew across the sky and landed on some monsters on the ground that were attacking some ponies and the monsters died and the ponies didn't know where the door came from but they said “Thank you Taste!” anyway because they knew it was probably him cause he's the only pony that could kick a door like that. Rainbow Dash did a fast dodge and said “Taste my sexy awesome boyfriend that is so cool do you want to come with me to Ponyville and get some food?” And Taste was kind of hungry so he said okay and they flew down, but Taste got there first because he had wings made out of FUCKING METAL welded to his FUCKING BACK that he did all by hisself. Rainbow Dash was able to keep up though and when they stopped Taste said “Wow Rainbow Dash you are getting fast that is so fucking hot I need to train more”. And they went. And they got to food and there was Twilight Sparkle the book and magic pony there eating sandwiches with her friend Spike who was a dragon. Twilight's heart was sudden and pound when she saw Taste because he was so sexy and awesome but she didn't say nothing because she knew Taste was Rainbow Dash's boyfriend and Rainbow Dash would kick the shit out of her if she tried to have pony sex with Taste. So she didn't. Spike came up and said “Hi Taste wow you're so cool I wish I had wings too” and Taste said “If you want wings you have to make them bro they don't just happen you have to FEEL THE PAIN!” and Spike thought he was too cool for school and said “One day I will weld metal wings to my back and be as sexy and awesome as Taste” and Taste said “Yeah okay, maybe one day kid” and they laughed.
After they ate food and things they were going to go back to their houses but Spike threw up all over the place suddenly and a million billion letters flew out of his mouth hole and all over the place. One of them poked out Twilight's eye and she started screaming and bleeding all over and said “HOLY FUCK SPIKE WATCH WHERE YOU SPIT THOSE THINGS BRO!” and Taste said “I got this guys” and took an eyepatch out of his pack and put it on Twilight'e eye to stop the bleeding and spray. “This should help but now you have only one eye so be careful or you'll lose the other one too” Twilight was so shocked and stunned because Taste touched her face that she forgot she was only had one eye and bleeding and just smiled and said “Oh yes Taste. Oh yes...” Rainbow Dash looked at her with mean glare and eyes but didn't kick her because she knew it wasn't all Twilight's fault and also it would be mean to kick someone after they got their eye cut out by a throw up scroll. Spike finished wiggling around in pain on the floor and picked up one of the pukey throw up scrolls and opened it. It smelled like a million sweaty taints and Twilight passed out from it and Spike almost did too but he read it anyway. It said in big letters “TWILIGHT COME TO CANTERLOT THIS IS IMPORTANT OMG SIGNED PRINCESS MOTHERFUCKING CELESTIA PS I SENT ONE MILLION BILLION OF THIS MESSAGE CAUSE ITS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT”
So they went.