Shackles and Friendship
Chapter 2 - The good stuff
Edited by Noxxels
AN: From this point on the story will be written from the main character's perspective.
'Sooo I'm either alive, dead, or I smoked the good shit. And considering what the other two implies, let’s go with being high.'
"Who are you? Can you understand me?" Oh god it talks.
'..........YUP, definitely high. Well there's only one way to deal with this.' I reached out to it and SLAP, right on its face. You might be wondering what prompted that decision, most people would start pinching themselves in hopes of returning to reality. But where’s the fun in that? In my mind, whenever you're lucky enough to get so high and jacked up to be seeing a talking white unicorn with a flowing multi-colored mane, I say roll with it and have as much fun possible while it lasts.
Before I could notice the odd sensation on my wrists, I was distracted by several stutters and gasps next to me. I turned to the source of the sounds only to find more horses, most of them were smaller and brightly colored. One of them even had a mane like a rainbow and wings.
'A pegasus too? Damn, I must've lucked out and got the high quality stuff. I gotta remember that dealer the nex-'
"HOW DARE THOU HARM OUR SISTER!" Holy shit, I thought something exploded next to me! I saw the black one point at me with her horn, it began glowing before a deep blue light shot from the tip and came flying straight at me. Naturally, with reflexes of a little girl, I shut my eyes and raised my arms over my face in a pitiable attempt to block the projectile. The initial surprise caused me to forget I was hallucinating, so for a moment I had expected to feel a few things, pain, pressure or force, instead I felt nothing.
I opened my eyes, only to see even more light missiles coming my way. I closed my eyes again bracing for the impact, when again, nothing happened. Tentatively I opened my eyes for the third time just in time to see one fly under my outstretched arms and hit my chest dead center. I readied myself for any type of pain from impact or puncture to possible burns, yet the projectile of light simply wink out of existence once it made contact and after several tense seconds I felt nothing.
'SHIT! I nearly pissed myself! How deep in wonder-fucking-land am I?'
"WHAT ART THOU? WHY DOTH ALL OUR SPELLS NOT AFFECT THEE?"
"Luna that is enough! And control your voice, please."
"BUT SIS-but sister! That...thing has struck thee across thy face. It needs to be punished!"
"Considering the situation it could have acted out of surprise or fear. Please Luna, calm yourself." I didn’t know whether to be afraid or impressed. Her voice carried a heavy amount of authority and strength, yet still felt calm and caring.
'Definitely the motherly type, better not to mess with this one too much' I know from personal experience they’re the most unstable kind when it comes with their loved ones, that probably makes it a 'her'. 'Yea let's not screw around with any of them with her around. Otherwise shit could go really bad, really fast. Just because you're aware that you're dreaming or hallucinating doesn't mean you have it totally under control. She turned and looked straight at me.
"Let's start again shall we, can you understand me?"
"I...uh...yes?" I could tell that the smaller horses was surprised at my response as their ears perked up and their eyes widened, which by the way were huge!
"Very good, now how do you feel? Are you injured?" I doubt any hallucination can hurt me, at most I'll probably end up with a headache once the weed wears off. Still, the question made me focus on my senses for anything out of the ordinary, which made me notice that my arms, or more accurately my wrists, felt heavier. I looked and saw that both my arms were cuffed with the strangest type of metal I've ever seen, with several links of chain hanging from each cuff. The one on my left was black ebony marked by the moon and the other was shining white marked by the sun.
'Careful now, this can either go really bad or really, really, kinky bad.' Sorry, but I just don't swing that way, pain is pain in my book. I imagined waking up in some barn chained up to a wall surrounded by horses, and considering my past experiences when smoking a joint, it was a very real possibility. So yea, I was starting to get very afraid, which probably showed on my face because she then spoke in a very caring and gentle manner.
"Forgive us, but we had no choice but to use them considering the circumstances. It was the only way we could prevent total destruction while still allowing you to keep your life." Honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about, I'm getting nothing but blanks in my memory before I woke up. The last thing I remembered was returning home from after getting more weed. Looking back to the cuffs I noticed they weren't uncomfortable at all. In fact, if they were just a little lighter, I might not have registered them being there at all.
I slowly rose to my feet, the chains on my new accessories jingling from my movement. Seeing this, the white unicorn took a step back to give me room, while the smaller horses took one more out of fear. I’ve been sitting on my ass so far which made me roughly as tall as the small ones making me look less intimidating. They probably didn't expect me to stand on my legs or tower over them, my attire didn't help make me look harmless either. I was wearing mostly black with a hoodie that had a heavy-metal theme going on, complete with giant burning skull. It's not my normal clothes mind you, these were only the stuff I wore whenever I travelled about the shadier parts of the city. And with my current situation as proof, it’s the only place to get the really high quality goods.
I looked back to the white unicorn, she was still taller than me but only by one or two inches, not counting the spear like horn atop her head. 'All the more reason to play it safe.' Another thing I missed was that in addition to her horn, she also had feathered wings folded on her sides.
'The hell does that make her? A pegacorn?'
"I am Princess Celestia,"
'Great, she's royalty.'
"and what might I call you?"
"It's, eh, Rodney."
"Well, Rodney, let me introduce you to my sister, this is Princess Luna." She nudged her head towards Miss Scream-a-lot.
'Woopty-fucking-doo, another one and she’s already pissed at me.'
"Listen Rodney, I must ask you to come with us back to Canterlot."
"As leader and protector I must determine whether or not you are a threat to my little ponies." Although it was still gentle, the sense of caring from before was gone, it was entirely filled with authority. So far I just kept going with the flow, so I nodded and she led me to the rest of the group. While the smaller ones, ponies was it?, were eyeing me with a mix of fear and curiosity, especially the purple one 'is she licking her lips? Luna though was looking at me with venom in her eyes and was always walking in a way as if I was about to jump and rape someone. Now that I got a good look she was similar to Celestia having both a horn and wings. She was also wearing a tiara though this one was dark blue instead of gold like Celestia's. Now that I was being surrounded by them, I noticed they had some very peculiar marks on their ass. Celestia and Luna's were the sun and moon respectively, upon closer inspection it was the exact mark that was etched into each cuff on my arms. Each of the other ponies also had a mark which varies from stars, to thunderclouds shooting rainbow lightning, and even balloons.
'Shit I better not wake up with any of them tattooed on my ass.' I felt cold shivers run down my back when I saw one yellow pony with pink mane and a butterfly mark which made me imagine having a tramp stamp at the end of my spine.
What's starting to bug me was how everything was so clear. Even if I was just mildly high, I knew from long years of personal experience that my mind shouldn't be this lucid. I was unable to come up with any theories though as my thoughts just ended up thinking back to the situations I'll wake up to. Each one weirder and more disturbing than the last and all involving horses.
'Better end this shit early before I end up naked in a petting zoo and getting jail time for streaking and psychologically scarring little school girls.' Course how I go about doing so was the question, I'll probably try pinching myself or holding my breath like trying to wake up from a dream. Hell if nothing works I'll piss my pants, it'll be embarrassing but thinking back to all the possible situations I might end up waking to, it was worth it.
'But before I go...' I was really getting pissed how Luna had been constantly looking back and glaring at me, shooting me looks that said she wished I’d just drop dead.
'Definitely gonna have to do something about that.' So I waited until she wasn't looking, raised my hand, and slapped hard on her flank.
Imagine a heavy industry sledgehammer, place said hammer into a cannon, load it up with enough explosives to level an entire city block, and aim it straight at your balls. That would have been preferable. There was so much pain I hardly registered what I was doing, I was probably weeping like a whipped puppy from the raging inferno in between my legs. This was a pain no living male of any species should have to suffer through. It seems my brain had agreed and offered me some mercy, and so I passed out.
So there I was, crying and curled up in a fetal position on the ground with both my hands nursing my balls in front of six mares and two princesses. Not the best way to start my new life.
AN: I actually had a really hard time trying to end this chapter with the same level of humor as last one. You would think that slapping Luna on her flank would give me a hordefull of ideas but noooo I'm drawing blank. I've also started to write in Rodney's perspective because I enjoy writing his thoughts and it helps express things easier.
Again I edited this on my own so there's bound to be a lot of mistakes so which is why I welcome all C&Cs so please do so. Also, point out any words that I forgot to ponify, like somebody to somepony.
Sorry but I tried really hard looking through the web, but I still couldn't find a pic of Luna rear kicking someone in the groin. Ask Pinkie.
Pinkie: Yup! He really did, though he suddenly ended up real interested in some socks tha-
OK ENOUGH OF THAT! Let’s start writing the next chapter shall we!
Pinkie: *giggle* Oki doki loki!