Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. That was the sound the little clock made as it ticked closer and closer to its appointed ringing time. The brief flourish of a fluffy pink mane being seen just for a moment before disappearing into the night. No pony would believe my story, but maybe you will hear me out and believe me when I say that I saw Pinkie Pie in all her awkward graces and silliness do this thing. My name is Twilight Sparkle and this the story of how one crazy mare turned a town into a wasteland. It all started after we had returned from bringing Applejack back to Ponyville. It was a day like most others, we laughed and loved with the occasional pestering from Rarity or the showy antics of Rainbow Dash. Par for course during any run of the mill week in Ponyville. It was when night came that things got a little out of hand.
“Pinkie, dahling, you can't go on like this! You simply mustn't go on in such a manner!”, the voice of our fair fashionista Rarity came in a wave of displeasure. It had been a long time in coming I guess now that I think of it. “You're overreacting Rarity! I'm a professional, hoof-trained to make cakes, pies, and use canons. So what's wrong with mixing my skills together huh?”, the pink mare said as she bounced around the dismayed Rarity. Pinkie was as she said, hoof-trained in all those things and more. One does not simply become the best party pony in town, possibly Equestria without getting training in some distinct arts. In truth Pinkie had enough skill to be a near master baker or a near unstoppable war mare. She was weird like that, a gift of her upbringing. I'm not a pony to who takes others for granted save for my number one assistant Spike. He was easy to take for granted as I had always been with him and he had always serviced my eccentricity with a stoicism that was well beyond his young dragonling age. Yet, this story isn't about me or him.
“Look Pinkie dear, it is not my intention to stop you, but making exploding cupcakes is a fools errand.”, I heard Rarity say her manner of speech so thick and proper. I hated her secretly for it, but not a true hate. The hate a friend speaks when they admire and envy the skill of someone close to them. She was dignified and regal like a member of the Canterlot Inner Circle. What she lacked in serviceable hoof-power she made up for by being ever the shining beacon of poise, posture, and grace. Ever the fair princess Rarity. “It is not a foal's errands, silly! I'm not gonna even let the kids help because that would be like supermegaultradeluxecakebatter dangerous!”, Pinkie replied in her usual way of speaking and mishearing. I could not tell if she did that on purpose or was her natural way. I realize now that I understood so little of my pink friend. Rarity heaved her delicate sigh of exasperation and laid a pristine white hoof across her face. “Just do whatever you want, Pinkie. Just do whatever it is you want, but not in my kitchen. I've just had it remodeled and I'll not have you ruin it with your crazy idea. I'll keep your plan a secret till you say other wise.”, the white unicorn said to which Pinkie's head wagged in excited acceptance.
I feel as if I'm leaving something out of my story. I can tell by the look on your face that you are confused as to how I heard all of this? Right, well I'll tell you why I know all of this. I had a date I was going to. Hey, don't laugh! Just because I read and spend all day with my friends on whacky adventures doesn't mean I don't do other stuff sometimes! I was going to see Filithy Rich, he had just separated from his wife and it turns out we have a scary amount of things in common. Except for the wealthy part. We both loved books and had connections that mirrored each others and intermingled. That's not important though. As I was trying to say, I was on my way to my date. I just happened to be passing by when I heard Rarity's voice in the distance. I rushed towards them to see what was going on, but when I was close enough to get the full conversation I could tell it was a private affair. There were stacked hay bundles for me to hide behind. I just got lucky I guess that Pinkie's extraordinary Pinkie Sense didn't perceive me as a threat to her plans or maybe she wasn't concerned about who knew at that moment. I don't know.
At any rate I wasn't sure if I needed to intervene and so I went on to my date. By the way, the date went well, but it was sadly the first and last. The bitch came back. It was quiet for about a week and then one morning the town was racked with a ground tremor that tossed Spike and I from our beds. This was the first incident. As I checked on Spike to make sure he wasn't hurt and thankfully he was fairing better than I. He had nary a scratch while I had a small bruise around my horn. As I descended the stairs the Library door burst open and the sight of a bewildered Applejack was standing in the door way.
“Twi, you gotta come with me! Something awful has happened to Rainbow Dash and Derpy down at Town hall!”, she shouted at me. Her southern drawl tinged with a seed of terror. I ran down the stairs and followed the tan mare. “What's happened to Dash and Derpy, AJ?”, I called out as we charged off into the direction of the Town Hall. “It's bad Twilight! There's been an explosion and Derpy was on cloud duty with Dash and they were caught in it!”, the farm pony said as the scene came into view.
The Town Hall was reduced from a tall semi-ornate wooden structure used by Mayor Mare as meeting hall and office. It was now a smokey, frosting covered set of splintered on the ground. I could a cyan-pegasus laying unconscious on a gurney being loaded into am ambulance while miraculously Derpy had fared much better eyes straight for once. “What happened Derpy?” I asked her softly as looked around the scene of destruction at which the whole of Ponyville save a few where crowding in to see. “I just don't know what went wrong. Me and Rainbow Dash were clearing sky when there was this rumbling sound from the Town Hall. I went to look for the sound and then there was a flash of light. Dash must have slammed into me to get me outta the way cause I was knocked away from the light from the side. Then the whole building just went up in a gooey frosting explosion.”, the grey pegasus recounted as she held her side where there was a near perfect imprint of Dash crinkled face proving her story true. I was taken back by what had just been said at that point. I swooned a bit, but Applejack propped me up. Pinkie had really done it. She had made exploding cupcakes and unleashed the on the town proper. But why! What would happen next I didn't know, but for some reason I couldn't say anything of what I knew just yet. Looks like our time is up for today, I'll tell you more then.
Part one over!.