The overly happy song ends, and several ponies laugh at the silliness of it all. Pinkie is dancing with that ugly thing she came in with, Aoi is dancing with Dash, (Go get her!) and I finished my dance with Gilda. I hop off the stage and let the band take over for a while. They begin playing a slow dance song, and I offer my claw to my mate.
"Shall we?" Gilda gets a faint blush, grabs my hand and pulls me in. We cross our necks and begin to dance in circles as the song plays, gently rubbing our feathers against each other. I have no knowledge of griffin dances, so, I just adapted the human slow dance to something that needs both it's arms to stay up. She rests her head on my shoulders, and I, hers. As we turn in circles, I see Aoi and Dash slow dancing as well, and Knightmare doing the same with Celestia.
'Lucky bastard. I bet he's just living it up right now. Oh well. I guess he deserves to be happy too, right? I mean, I've got my special someone, and she's amazing.'
"We should really do this again sometime." Gilda says, interrupting my thoughts.
"Are you going soft on me?" I chuckle, and she steps on my hand, then gives a wicked grin.
"Not on your life." Then, it fades to a warm smile. "But, at the same time, this is nice too, you know?"
"Yeah, I got ya. Can't be awesome all the time. Sometimes you just have to be....... nice?"
"Well, song's almost over. I should get ready to play the next one." She smiles.
"Stuck up nobles won't know what hit em."
"They aren't so bad, I mean, they danced to Caramelldansen for fuck's sake. Actually, you know what? I'm kind of hungry. Maybe we should get something to eat first?"
"I'm for it."
We walk over to the food tables, and I spy plate after plate of the highest society food there is. Caviar, hor 'd'oeuvres, those teeny little whatchamacallits..... all garbage. Where's the REAL food? Aha! Hello Applejack!
"Apple pie, apple squares, apple juice, apple tarts, apple butter, apple fritter...... where do I begin?!?!" I gaze over each of the absolutely delicious treats, eyeing them greedily. What can I say? I liked fruit before, and I'm part bird now. It is my good fortune that she decided to try and sell her wares this year as well, even after the disastrous failure last time.
"I think I'll just have a square or two." Gilda said, not really caring.
"I'm getting a slice of pie."
"Say pardner, not that ahm complainin but, why you comin to eat mah apple stuffs when they got all that fancy food over thar?" The earth pony asked.
"Food? Where? I don't see any food over there. I'm not sure why, but those nobles are all eating trash. They don't know what they're missing. Oh well, more for me!" I take a slice of pie, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and drizzle some apple butter on top of it, and Gilda takes four apple squares, then I pay her all of five bits for it. Her prices are really low... probably hoping to attract business.
I notice Aoi walk up behind me, with Rainbow Dash in tow. They've really taken to each other it seems. *Evil laugh* Good, goooooooood.
"Oh, hmh Aoir, yerr gumma trah derse struff!" I say with my mouth full.
"Oro? Gummies in the stuffing?" The wolf asks confused. Gilda smacks me on the back of the head for not showing more tact. I swallow hard and take a deep breath after nearly choking, then rephrase.
"I said you gotta try this stuff Aoi, it's really good. Made from the best apples in Equestria."
"Best apples?" He asks.
"THE best apples in Equestria, the only place that grows them. So, pretty much, you won't find better apples on this entire planet. They're definitely better than the ones back home." Applejack blushes at my blatant flattery. Hey, it's true alright? Ever eat an apple and think, 'Wow, this is superb? So juicy, and crunchy, and sweet, and a tiny bit bitter, but not too much, it's just perfect'? Guess what. That apple may as well have come straight from the trash bin compared to a Sweet Apple Acres apple.
"I'll take your word for it....." He says cautiously.
"Want a sample?" Aj passes Aoi a small sliver of pie. He slowly puts it in his mouth, closes, chews, and suddenly stops. His eyes shoot open and have a little sparkle in them, his muscles twitch, and he gets this look, one that says 'I hunger'. It's a good thing nobody is going to stop him from getting these treats, because if they try, I'm not entirely sure that he would refrain from cutting them down.
"I have a sweet tooth. Two apple pies please." He says after calming himself. He drops twenty bits on the counter, twice the cost of the pies. He takes a deep breath in through his nose, savoring the aroma. He then looks and me and nods, then nudges me, as if to say 'If you want more, you better buy it now before I eat it all.' I drop my own twenty bits on the counter, and take two pies as well. One for me, and one for Gilda. We go sit down, and each eat our purchases. Aoi just about inhaled his, finishing both in the time it took me and Gilda to eat one each.
"Well Captain, looks like you were right... these are the best apples I've ever tasted." Aoi states, then points his thumb back to Applejack's cart. I nod, and we leave our table to go get more.
"I'm telling you Aoi, they're seriously missing out."
"Are we the only one's here?" He asks. Applejack, seeing us return, has a smile of warm satisfaction on her face. I look around, and I see the thing that was with Pinkie earlier looking at the other food tables, and snort in disgust.
"Hey you! Bear-thing. If you're looking for food that isn't garbage, the apple cart is over here!" I shout to the disguised human. I mean, after singing the safety dance, what else could he possibly be?
"I'm not a fucking bear! IM A BUGBEAR! ASSHOLE! Oh wait..." And then he facepalms. Wooooooooooooow. Pretty dense. He begins walking over, and I turn back to Aj.
"Well shucks, you folk sure do seem ta like mah apples. Here! Try tha strussal." She passes me the tray. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent. Apples, rich cinnamon, icing......... a hint of lemon? Oho! Someone decided to get fancy.... in a good way!
The bugbear comes over, and begins looking around at the apple cart, until Aoi literally crams a fork into his mouth.
"Just eat it already, before it's all gone." The orange pony working the stand just about coughed when he said 'All gone'. She's clearly in disbelief, thinking we won't really eat it all. Oh how wrong she is.
"What is this?" The bear asks.
"It's an apple tort. Here, try some." She stuffs it into his face, and he seems to not mind at all. He chews and swallows.
"Little earth pony, what is your name?"
"How much each?"
"Uh... two bits?" He reaches into his bag.
"Here's five bits, for one."
Aoi places another thirty bits on the counter, and Aj hands him some more goods. At this point, he doesn't even care what they are. Then the other dumps a load of bits and starts taking more.
"Whoa whoa whoa Hold on! Ah can't keep up that fast, y'all are gonna have ta line up, one at a time so I can get tha orders straight!" Applejack says, with a mile wide smile on her face.
"Yes ma'am!" We call out at once. Then, I get a bright idea.
"You know what? Screw it. Here's three thousand. Gimme the whole damn cart. Come on guys, let's eat!"
"Wait what?" Aoi says dumbfounded.
"The whole thing? The hell I wanted some more!" The bugbear says angrily. Applejack gapes in awe as I drop a bag of bits in front of her and take her cart away, motioning to my fellow humans to follow as I wheel it out to the courtyard.
"Moron, it's for ALL of us. Saves time standing in line. Don't worry about it, it's on me."
"But....... all the stuff on there was only worth two thousand......"
"For food such as this, I would have gladly payed triple. After all, that's what it's worth. Besides, he has more money than he knows what to do with at this point, and more coming to him. Just take it and don't ask questions." Aoi states before following.
"Aoi, bugbear, let's eat!"
"You really bought the whole cart......." They say in shock.
"What? Something the matter? I'm sharing, what do you care?" Aoi, .... the other human who still hasn't dropped his name yet, Trixie, Gilda, Nadene, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and I all sit in the courtyard to eat. I hear a scream coming from within the hall, and turn to see Knightmare clawing, trying to get out, being held in place by Chrysalis.
"BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!!!!" He cries, clearly wanting to sink his teeth into my purchase by the way his little bug eyes are locked onto the cart. The queen then starts explaining that changelings feed on love, yaddi yaddi yadda, normal food will kill you, blah blah blah.
"Ha! This is too good! You finally get to Equestria, and you can't eat anything! No Sweet Apple Acres food for you!"
"YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, GRIFFIN THE GRIFFIN! A COMPLETE AND UTTER ASSHOLE!" He shouts as he is finally let go, then just sinks to the ground and sits there, in defeat. The most delicious food in any universe, he's sitting right next to it, and if he eats any, he'll die. I can only imagine what is going through his head right now, and every bit of it is hilarious.
"Don't care!" I flip him the finger and cackle before I continue to chow down with the rest of the group. I swear, I think I saw a single tear fall before he collected himself. Really, I could turn us all back human for a little bit, that way he'd at least be able to enjoy this..................................................... NAH! Wow, I really AM an asshole, aren't I?
We ate in piece, Aoi's companion.... Ubi? The son of a dragon, was literally crying as he ate the apple stuffs. Probably had never tasted something so good in his entire life. There was a fair bit of conversation among everyone, except for me, as I had just about tuned out the world while I was eating, focusing only on the intense flavour assaulting my taste buds. Then, I notice the human who has yet to be named looking at me confused, and considering he's not the sharpest light bulb in the shed, I decided to talk first.
"My species is bugbear, not my name asshole!" And now I regret being nice to him. Probably going to wind up kicking his ass before the night is over. His breath also smells extremely of alcohol, to the point that I'm starting to wonder why he isn't dead.
"Well then, what IS your name?"
"Celt. You're Griffin right? Some kind of big shot?" He replies.
"Celt, glad of you to show up... I thought you weren't into high society type socials..." Aoi asks. Great, he knows him too.
"How long you been in Equestria?" I bring the conversation back around, hoping to pump him for info.
"I'm here for a reason and did Aoi tell you I was human?" He slurs. I asked WHEN not WHY.
"No, as soon as you said, 'You can dance if you want to' I figured it out. By the way, do you like bananas?"
"No, no no no. You are not making that joke with me, I already got blown outta one building today from dat stupeeeed line." I give a slight laugh at the thought.
"What the hay is with you aliens and yer bananas?" Applejack asks, having come out with us. I really need to start paying attention. That's TWICE today that someone has snuck up on me.
"Internet." Celt, Knight, and I deadpan. She just shakes her head. Knightmare sighs.
"Chrysalis says the only thing safe for me to have is the punch, and some fucktard spiked it, so I can only have one cup. Any more and it's fatal. I can't have solid food at all, and I'll get wasted from a single drop of alcohol." Celt just laughed at him, and Aoi started looking around, not nervously, but searching for something.
"For once, I can honestly say it wasn't my fault." I laugh at the plight of the changeling. He's like that one kid at school that nobody beats up, because he pretty much does it all on his own. Now, I don't like bullying, after all, I was a victim of it, but this guy just keeps setting himself up. Its like laughing at Jackass. They're hurting themselves, and it's funny to watch.
"So, let's see, Aoi, Echo, Celt, Knightmare, Carl (Deceased) and myself. Six humans. Knight can't have any booze or he'll die, and I can't have any or Gilda will kill me. Echo is who knows where, Celt is wasted yet still standing somehow, and Aoi, judging by the way you're wobbling, you've had some too am I right?" The wolf nods, and Celestia comes out to check on us, staggering quite a bit.
'Oh hell. Don't tell me the immortal goddess who could make us all smears on a wall by looking at us is drunk. This could be very VERY bad.'
"Princess Celestia...... are you drunk?" Applejack asks in disbelief.
"Lord Fester and I have had....." She begins to count. "....... a case and a half each of 'The Royal Pink'. It's not hitting hard yet but it has a delayed effect. We're going to have unimaginable hangovers by dawn. Since this is the first time I've ever been able to get a buzz, much less be part of the party instead of greeting everypony, I maaaaaaaaay have gone a little overboard."
"Um, who's Lord Fester?" Trixie asks, and Celestia points to Celt. Knightmare and I just start laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"Lord Fester? *Snicker* Addams family much?"
"I loved that show!" The changeling adds.
"Oh and Griffin the griffin is sooooooooooooo imaginative." He replies, getting defensive.
"Hey, it's my REAL name."
"Oh? And how do you know my name isn't Lord Fester?"
"Because it's ridiculous!" Knight starts buzzing his wings to a familiar beat, while I snap my fingers.......claws together at the right time, and we sing the theme song to the hit T.V series.
"Buhbuhbahbum! *Snap snap* Buhbuhbahbum! *Snap snap* Buhbuhbahbum, buhbuhbahbum, buhbuhbahbum, *Snap snap* They're creepy and they're cooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky, the Addams family!" We sing, causing much annoyance to the metal armed creature in front of us.
"I so want to shoot you both so bad right now." Celt pouts.
"Yeah, you're so drunk I'm surprised you're not dead, and I haven't got a drop in me. That will only end one way." I put my hand to my sword hilt.
"Ha! I got a surprise for you amigo! Not even your sword can cut my arm, it's made of Uru." He laughs.
"Is that so?" I draw Hades and rest it against the metallic limb. "Lacero." I draw the blade across, holding it up so it doesn't sink too deep, and it leaves a very clean slice in it. Lucky for me, I had learned a while ago how to only use a part of my sword's charge, meaning I don't waste magic on overkill, and I can use multiple, weaker spells should the situation call for it. It would be hard to explain to a bunch of ponies why I was drinking blood.
"Uh, what? That's new......." I merely chuckled at the confused look on his face. Your sword can't cut my arm. Yes it can. You suck.
"Dragon scale, magic enhanced edge."I explain as I sheath my blade.
"Aw man! Imma tell Loki his indestructible arm is bullshit!" Wait. Did he say Loki? As in Norse mythology?
"Loki, as in the trickster god, as in earth's version of Discord? You mean you actually KNOW who sent you here?"
"Yeah, I had a talk with him." Celt replies while looking at the cut in his arm like it's cancer or something.
"Damn it. I'm still looking for the guy who brought me here so I can buy him a beer. So Knightmare who was brought by Celestia, Echo who was brought by Discord, and you, who was brought by Loki." Celt pulls out his stringless crossbow from before, and shows it off.
"Just so you know, I can do magic too. Vis." A brown bolt appears on the bow, he aims at a tree, fires, and the tree splinters into little bits. He smiles as if he just showed me the most amazing thing ever.
"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't be carrying a broken weapon around for no reason." I deadpan, not giving him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of me.
"He he, made a stallion eat a fire bolt." He laughs sadistically at the memory.
"Are you sure you should be saying that with the Princess right behind you........ swaying drunkenly?"
"Looks like the booze finally kicked in. He was a criminal anyway." He states. At which point, the sun princess wraps her forehooves around me from behind and starts nuzzling my neck feathers. It was creepy. She broke rule number one of awkward hug prevention. Unless its a very special someone, behind hugs are weird as hell.
"Oh, you weren't lying.... you's soooooooooooo soft......" She looks like she's about to fall asleep and use me as a pillow. I jerk out of her arms and she falls flat on her face.
"Why you do that for? I jus wan cuddles....." She pouted and got teary eyed. I grab Knight by his horn and throw him into her arms. She glomps him, and he's enjoying every second of it. Of course, he's a changeling. He eats love.
"Here! Cuddle with him!"
"I like cuddles, too!" He hugs her back, entirely sincere in his voice. Trixie, Nadene, and Pinkie laugh, while Gilda sticks her tongue out and points at it as if gagging. We continue like that for a while, eating our food.
"Goodness princess! Ya'll are REALLY drunk! Ah better get ya away from tha party. We can't have Canterlot seein ya like this!" Applejack suggests, seeing as how the princess isn't just 'A little tipsy'. Celt suddenly stops what he's doing and stares off into space. Knightmare slowly walks up and pokes him, making him fall over.
"And it finally kicked in."
"Why does the ground hate me?" Celt asks nobody in particular. Everyone laughs.
"Ahm serious! If the press finds out that tha princess is drunk, it'll ruin her image! We gotta get her somewhere she can sleep off this drink!" The earth pony yells, upset that she's being taken lightly.
"Oh lighten up AJ, it's a party!" Dash pipes in. "Speaking of party, um, Aoi, um, do you want, I don't know, um, to dance again?" Dash is acting as shy as Fluttershy around him. She CLEARLY likes him.
"Sure... know anything upbeat?" Aoi asks Knight and I.
"I've got the perfect song, but first we need to get Celt and Drunk-lestia to some beds. I don't know the castle layout too well, and I've gotta get set up for the song so, do you wanna take her?"
"Might as well." Celt leans on Applejack, while Nadene, Gilda, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash lift the collapsed alicorn and bring her inside around the back, to avoid the crowd. I head inside and see the orchestra playing, and I tell the conductor that I'll be taking the next song. He nods, and prepares to finish up.
The group walks back in, I assume having successfully gotten their charges to beds, and the song comes to an end, prompting me to hop up on stage with my group to get ready to play the next one.
"Hello Canterlot! How are you all doing tonight? A bit crazy eh?" The crowd has almost nothing to say to this. Almost. Of course, there is ALWAYS a heckler.
"What kind of a party is this? This is supposed to be an event of sophistication! Not........ rough housing!"
"Ah, come on, we're just..... 'horsing around'." Peals of laughter from the crowd at my pony pun. Knight buzzes up to the mike.
"What can we say, we Humans are 'All the Buzz'!" I smack him over the back of the head, knocking him off the stage. He groans.
"I think I just got pun-ished." I scowl at him.
"Dude, they don't know what we are! Way to blow it!" I whisper. The crowd looks at me, uneasy. "Sorry folks, just disregard him, he's an idiot." They seem satisfied at this, and Lyra passes me a wink. The idiot changeling blows me a raspberry then trots off looking for something to do. I let out a sigh.
"So, since you want something a little classier, I'll start with some swing music. I hope you like jazz. Let's dance!" And so, we all grab our partners and begin to dance to the beat. Aoi grabs Dash by hooves. She catches on instantly and lets him lead, the two of them look stunning in their attire and light up the dance floor. Soon, instead of paying attention to us, all eyes are on the wolf and mare in the middle of the floor. They stomp their hooves in time to the beat as the pair dance.
'Well well well. Looks like those two are popular. Where'd he learn how to dance so well?" He sweeps Dash under his legs, twirls her, and tosses her into the air. She uses her wings to catch air time before falling back down, laughing the entire time. They continue stepping in time with the music, and the crowd is cheering them on. I turn around to see Octavia glaring at me, so Trixie, Gilda and I all pull our eyelids down and stick our tongues out, then get back to dancing.
The song ends, Aoi and Dash finishing with him tossing her into the air, doing a back flip, then catching her in his arms. He looks into her eyes, I whistle and motion for him to go in for the kiss...... He doesn't. Instead, he just sets her down, and her coat almost turns entirely red from the blush, but not from embarrassment.
'Dang. So close. Almost had them. Wait..... that's Celt. He should be in bed sleeping off his drunkeness? What is he doing here?................ Punching a noble apparently.' The unicorn stallion falls over with a bloody nose. It looks broken. Okay, time to break this up.
"What the hell is going on here? Shouldn't you be lying in bed, sleeping off your stupor?"
"I hash a earth pony to find and punch. Friggin bucked mah head." Let me guess, Applejack had to knock him out? Aye carumba.
"You're ruining the party." I draw Hades. "Don't make me knock you out."
"I ish nert aferd a yooooooo."
"Hey, Celt, calm down..." Aoi tries to get him to stop.
"You dont shcare me." I shake my head in disappointment, then look him straight in the eye.
"Come at me bro."
Then, Knightmare comes in and stands between us. Bad idea. But anyway, it stops us for the moment.
"Celt, you're drunk. Griffin, YOU'RE insane. Keep all bickering, death threats, and battles for the fate of existence OUTSIDE the ballroom okay?" Celt gently smacks him to the side. We both turn and look at him.
"Shut up, nobody likes you." He scuttles away in shame.
"Ignis Vis" I turn and notice a reddish brown bolt appear on his crossbow.
"YOUR ALL GUNNA FUCKING BURN!" The bugbear shouts before he fires. He laughs as the bolt approaches me. His laughter stops however, when I deflect it with Hades, sending it through a stained glass window, shattering it.
"Shit..." He looks dumbfounded at the fact that I just sent his explosive shot away. What was he thinking, using a fire bomb indoors, surrounded by flammable objects? Riiiiiiight. He's plastered.
"You just bought yourself a one way ticket on nighty night airlines!"
"Um, well, you see, I'm sorry?" He says, hoping it will convince me not to beat him senseless. It doesn't work. I bash Celt with the side of my sword, screaming with the strain as I do so, causing a loud *Pang* to resonate through the building as my blade collides with his metal arm.
"Ventus!" A gust blows through the hall, aiding his flight, and knocking off several hats in the process. He goes straight out the window we just destroyed, and I hear a splash as he lands in the resevoir above the waterfall. I sheath my blade and address the crowd now looking at me in awe.
"Sorry about that folks. Back to the party!"