The Equestrian Honor Guard
By Honored Service
"And I'm asking for at least two weeks paid vacation!" I pounded my fist against the table I was seated at.
"Thou should be great full for a week and half of this paid vacation!" Luna smashed her hoof down opposite of my hand.
"Luna, times have changed, I do believe that two weeks is fair." Celestia explained calmly to the dark colored alicorn. "Okay, so are we all in agreement to your contract Johnson?" Celestia looked at me, levitating a large piece of parchment that had my contract written on it.
The Equestrian Honor Guard
Johnson the Human
This contract is established to give Johnson the rights of citizenship to the land of Equestria in exchange for his service in the guard. The Equestrian Honor Guard (EHG) will act as an elite attachment of the standard Canterlot Guard, under the direct command of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Johnson will hold the rank of Lieutenant once training is completed under Captain Shining Armor. During the training period, Johnson will be paid a sum of 80 bits per week till completed. Once graduated with the rank of Lieutenant, his pay shall increase to the monthly rate of 1,000 bits for the next year. This contract is binding to the Royal Seal and can only be disregarded if both Royal Sisters are in agreement to its end.
Johnson the Human
I laid the piece of parchment on the table. It was short and sweet. No gray area, just a black and white contract. To gain citizenship in Equestria, I would just have to serve the Princesses. Something I wouldn't mind doing. And I got paid to do it! I had no idea if the pay was fair or not because I knew nothing about Equestrian monetary value. I hoped the Princesses didn't just rip me off.
"There is only one small problem." I looked back at the contract, something just didn't look right.
"Ugh what else could not be correct?" Luna laid back in her chair stretching her wings out behind her. She had been arguing with me nonstop since the beginning of the meeting.
"Shouldn't an Equestrian citizen have a more appropriate name? Johnson the Human seems so... alien. You know?" I turned to Celestia who nodded. At least she didn't mind my complaints.
"You are absolutely right!" Luna say up straight and smiled. "I vote for his new name to be Hot Head!" Ouch. That hurt girl. Celestia laughed lightly with her sister, as I fumed across from the immature royalty.
"I for one think that Peachy Skin is a good one." Of course Celestia had to get her two bits thrown in.
"Shouldn't this be my choice!?" I said looking at the two alicorns that were having a hard time not laughing at the names they were coming up with.
I was about to raise my voice when a knock sounded at the door. An armored pegasus walked in and bowed. He presented a scroll to the Princess and walked out of the room.
"Why it's a letter from the Element of Laughter. What could Miss Pinkie Pie need." Celestia said as she slowly unrolled the scroll in midair.
"Hmm how quaint."
"What is it sister? We are curious." Luna tried to look over the edge of the paper to see what was written.
"All it says is, Honored Service. What do you think that means?"
"That's my name." I said quietly from behind the two princesses.
They both turned to me.
"Come again Johnson?" Celestia said placing the paper down on the table.
"Yes what is Honored Service?" Luna returned to her seat at the table.
"On earth that was my oc's name." It was true, just look at my name.
"What is an oc?" Luna asked me.
Celestia leaned over and whispered into the Princess of the Night's ear. Her faced morphed into one of humor and then to understanding.
"Ah well we think that is a suitable name, even of we would like to name you Hot Head." Luna willed a quill into the air and brought it over to my contract lying on the table. A few scratches later the contract was fixed.
Johnson: Honored Service
"You can keep the human name, and have a more Equestrian name." Luna smiled and placed the quill back into the ink well.
"I think that it is a lovely name. It suits you just fine Johnson. It matches your choices in life; both on your old world and here in Equestria."
You know, it really did. Now I just needed a cutie mark and I would be happy.
"I wonder how Pinkie Pie knew that." Celestia looked back at the paper that held the two words on it.
"It's just Pinkie Pie." I shrugged, that seemed like a valid answer.
"Well Johnson, I mean, Honored Service; when will you start your training? I'll leave it up to you." Celestia carefully rolled up my contract and slipped it inside of a metal tube.
"Anytime would be fine. But I would like to say good bye to some friends in Ponyville before I begin." I wanted to make sure the ponies in Ponyville knew I wasn't abounding them, just leaving for pony boot camp. Compared to the military college, I was sure it would be a snap to complete.
Luna nodded and flipped through the pages of a small red book. "Ah here we go, the next batch of recruits for the Canterlot Guard begin training in 2 days. Will that be enough time to say your good byes?" Luna looked over the edge of the book my response.
I thought it over for a minute. Rarity would have my new clothes and armor done today or tomorrow. Spend tomorrow saying good bye. "Yes your majesty that should be plenty of time."
Celestia stood up and smiled. "Then it's settled. Johnson we shall have a chariot pick you up in two days’ time. Then you shall begin your training to become an Equestrian Honor Guard. Shining Armor will be your personal trainer." She gave me a devilish smile. Why did I feel like Trollestia was striking again?
"I look forward to it ma'm." I bowed and stood up.
"We shall much enjoy watching your process Human. Good luck Honored Service, see you in two days. Don't scream." Luna said smiling as her horn began to glow.
Celestia's horn also began to glow. Wait why shouldn't I scream-
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The familiar blinding sensation and taste of fish fingers with banana custard filled my mouth as I slammed down onto the ground.
"HOLY SHit." *cough* I stood up awkwardly as I turned to face Twilight Sparkle and a group of school foals all seated in a circle on the library floor.
"Um hello everypony. Just keep reading. Books are good for you." I said as I slowly backed up towards the door leading to Ponyville.
Shutting the door closed behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. Damn those to evil Princesses. They did that on purpose. I bet the idea of me in awkward situations gave them fits of laughter.
"So where did he end up?"
"In the middle of Twilight's weekly reading camp."
"Ah good choice sister. Next time, let's send him into the school house at arts and craft time."
"Oh that's a good idea."
"Stupid Royal Sisters." I kicked a rock out of my path as I plodded back towards Sweet Apple Acres. I would say good bye to the Apples and thank them for giving me a place to stay. It felt like I had just settled down in Ponyville, and now here I was moving to Canterlot for training.
"Fuck." That’s what I forgot to ask. How long is training going to last?
I knew I had forgotten something.
Well it wasn't like I had just signed away my life... Oh wait yes I did. Shit.
"Afternoon Applejack!" I waved at the country pony from the road leading up to the farmhouse.
"Howdy there Johnson! How'd that meeting with the Princesses go? Are ya' a citizen now?" She trotted up to me from the row of trees she had been bucking.
"It went great Applejack! I got a job, a name, and I'm a citizen of Equestria now!" I beamed at the friendly earth pony who stopped walking.
"Y'all did all that in one morning? Ya' must be one fierce negotiator." She caught back up to me. "So what's the new name?"
"Well actually Pinkie Pie reminded me of it. My Equestrian name is Honored Service. I'm going to be a part of the Canterlot Guard. I start training in two days." I puffed up my chest in pride.
"Well ah'll be! Good for ya' Johnson, ah mean Honored Service." She patted me on the back as we entered the house.
"You can call me either name. I use them both." I walked into the kitchen to help Applejack make lunch for the family. I pulled out some apples and began to slice them with Bad Bertha. She sliced through them with no problem.
"It feels like ya' just got here, and now yer leaving. Better not tell Pinkie or she'll throw ya' another party. I still don't think Berry Punch has walked off that hangover yet." Applejack laughed to herself as she added some crushed pecans and raisins to the bowl of chopped apples.
"Haha. Nice. Applejack, I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me. I really appreciate-" She cut me off with a look of seriousness.
"And we can't thank thank ya' enough for saving Applebloom." I nodded and smiled as Applejack rang the dinner bell outside of the kitchen door.
A few minutes later I was seated at the Apple family table telling everpony about my meeting with the Princesses and my citizenship in Equestria. Applebloom was excited to hear about my new name and thought that since I could get a new name, then I should be able to get a cutie mark. I didn't have the heart to tell her humans didn't get cutie marks, so I just let her believe that I would work hard to get one while at training camp.
After lunch I finished the West orchard with Big Macintosh. We talked a little about Ponyville and the fall harvest season.
"Are y'all going to be back in time to help with the big harvest?" He asked while chewing on a piece of wheat.
"I think so. I mean on Earth, training lasted anywhere from 12 weeks to 5 months. And I'm sure that I can get some leave time to come and help."
Big Macintosh nodded and placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Yer a good friend Honored. I'm proud to say that ah know Equestria's only human." And with that, the quiet earth pony lumbered off towards the barn to begin working on his next task.
It was compliments like that, which made me, feel good to be who I was. Equestria's only human. A protector.
I woke up bright and early and ate breakfast with the Apple family. After cleaning up the breakfast dishes I made my way into Ponyville to see the creations that Rarity had made. I hope they would last me through training.
I walked up to the door leading into Carousel Boutique and rang the door bell again.
Ding Dong Dong Dink
I opened the door to Rarity stitching some lace onto a white flowing gown.
"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is shique, unique and, ah good morning Johnson! How lovely to see you today. Twilight mentioned that you had an audience with the Princesses. You must tell me how everything went."
Before long I was seated with Rarity discussing yesterday's events over tea. Today's tea was a strange blueberry kiwi blend. So different, but good none the less.
"And so then she says it's from Pinkie Pie and Ta da, I've got my new Equestrian name."
Rarity placed her cup onto the table in front of her. "That does sound like something she would do. Pinkie Pie, you just can't explain her."
I raised my tea cup up, “Here’s to that."
"Well I'm sure you're interested on seeing how your outfits turned out. I personally am very pleased on how the ensembles came out. And I did leave out the sparkling jewels and gems." Rarity added as she walked over to a brown chest at the edge of the room. Clicking it open she levitated 6 boxes out of it and a large wrapped bundle of cloth.
"The regular day to day outfits were the easiest to produce. I made you six of them, seeing as washing the same 3 would get old so quick." Rarity floated the boxes to me and I began to open them up carefully making sure I could repackage them for carrying purpose.
Inside the boxes were 6 pairs of pants. Two of them dark green cargo pants with large pockets on the side of the legs. The other four pants were jean material in different shades of blue. They felt as strong as jeans, but more comfortable like felt or soft cotton.
The shirts were all button ups in different colors. Red and blue. White and gold. Black and royal purple. Green and brown. Red and white. Yellow and orange. Each shirt had Rarity's cutie mark on the right side of the collar. They were extremely nice shirts. And felt like the same material the pants were crafted from, but lighter.
"I hope you like these. I made such a variety of colors because you didn't instruct me on what colors you wanted." Rarity was awaiting my response to the clothes she had made for me.
"Rarity, these clothes are amazing! And you even made boxers and socks!" I held up the said articles of clothing. They were white socks and simple blue boxers.
"I'm glad you think they are nice." Rarity was positively beaming with pride.
"Nice?" I looked at her. “These are amazing! You did a fantastic job!"
"Well then I hope you think the same thing about the other outfit you wanted." She levitated the large bundle into my hands.
I grasped the bundle out of her magical grip and untied the brown string holding the wrapping together. I unraveled the gray cloth. Inside was the most beautiful uniform I have ever seen. And I loved my Army uniform.
I was staring at a brown long coated duster. It came down to my knees and had a split in the back so it would swirl around me without bunching up in between my legs. It had two large Velcro spots on the bicep area so I could attach my current military patch and the hoof made Cutie Mark Crusader patch on it. The shoulders of the coat were toughened with some kind of flexible yet sturdy material so that they wouldn't wear out.
Moving down the coat I noticed that the area that covered my forearms was stronger. On the outside of the sleeve Rarity had added some strong metallic material that would protect my forearms. She must have seen the scares from the Timber Wolves and got that idea herself. This duster was amazing.
Also in the package was a new tan belt. The belt wrapped around my waste and had another loop that would reach up under my armpit.
"Rarity, is this a holster?" I pointed at the pouch that was connected on the belt that reached the left armpit.
"Yes darling it is. I didn't want the coat to get caught up on your current holster so I made one to tuck under your arm. Is it to your liking?"
"Of course Rarity! It's great! And there is even a space for my current ammo belt to attach."
The belt had notches on it where I could hook Bad Bertha and my clips for my pistol onto the new belt. The last thing I pulled out from the package was the under armor to wear under the duster.
It was a dark grey and made out of the same material my forearm bracers were constructed from. On the left side, right above my heart, was Rarity's cutie mark in very small blue gems.
"I know you said no gems, but I couldn't resist adding my trademark symbol to it." She waited for my response.
"Rarity, this armor is... It's just fantastic! I can’t even describe how perfect it is! I'll be the envy of ever guards pony in Canterlot. A custom Rarity outfit that looks badass and works."
Rarity blushed at the compliment and turned her head. "Oh it was nothing darling. Just a little thanks for saving my dear sister. I was happy to craft it. I had a lot of fun designing something for another species too."
After a few more minutes with the generous unicorn, I left Carousel Boutique to begin working on a research paper. One that hopefully wouldn’t take forever to complete.