//------------------------------// // I Ain't No Superman // Story: Deadpool's Equestria Girls Adventures! // by DeadpoolMLP //------------------------------// I'ma just put this here "You finish it?" I heard Sunset ask as I slowly got up to go to my room. I blinked, half awake from spending the entire night writing my English paper "What?" "Did you finish the paper?" She repeated, "How long have you been at this?" I looked at the oven timer, inwardly yelling as I read the time as '5:00 A.M'. "Uh....7 hours? I dunno...hold on." I then turned to the sound of my alarm clock, which I disposed of by pulling out a small detonator, smiling at the sound of the explosion of the blaring device. Sunset sighed "Next time how bout you put your pride on the back burner and do your school work instead?" I sleepily waved her off as I made my way into my room, changing from my costume that I had kept on throughout the night as I heard the sound of the shower start up in the other room. "Shouldn't we shower? We did just compete in a wrestling match." Why not wait an hour or so? She might be using the hot water. (Yes, I changed my font color.) "It's not like any of the other heroes shower after fighting criminals all day." Or maybe they do and they just never tell. Jeez, that water bill must be absurd! Making my way to the living room, I watched as Balto jumped into my lap and began licking my face. "OKAY DUDE! I GET IT! YOU LOVE ME!" I sighed inwardly as thought to the girl in the shower. "If only I could get her to as well..." As soon as we stepped onto the bus, we were met by the familiar voice of the resident douche who me and Dash had lovingly dubbed "Jerkwad." "HEY LOOK! IT'S THE FREAK!" ... Does this guy have ANYTHING else up his sleeve? I was about to respond, but as soon as I took another step, I was drowned out by another student's call, the rest of the students all letting out a loud cheer in response, "HEY LOOK! IT'S SUPERMAN!" Raising an eyebrow, I looked to the student, who wore yet another familiar face as this world's resident smile nazi, Colgate. "Isn't she called Minuette in the show?" What's canon and what's not canon in this universe is mine to choose. "Fair enough." We control your world, nay, your very existence. I passed Jerkwad, flipping him off as I approached the Minty Fresh female, sitting next to her as I felt the bus begin rolling. "Superman?" "YEAH! You were flying around like crazy yesterday! It's trending like crazy on Buzzard!" Colgate responded, holding up her phone to my face. I narrowed my eyes at the device, reading the now hundreds of Tweets that were filling the screen, all reading the same "#Superman" in each of them "Well that's gonna get annoying." "Why?" Colgate asked. "Cause I'm nothing like Supes. He's an icon of truth, justice, and being a stalwart hero. I'm an icon of living in the grey. Doing what you have to do to survive in a world of heroes. Comparing me to him is like comparing an apple to a potato." I responded, Colgate looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "It's just a nickname. You'll get over it" She replied, waving me off as she went back to her phone. I sighed, using the bumpy bus ride to seat hop back to my regular seat as I heard Dash chuckle. "You should be glad they called you something nice. I had the school calling me Lightning Bolt all Elementary School because I thought I heard thunder in the middle of Winter." "Yeah, but high school is different. Once it goes viral, no one will let me out of it." I replied, rolling my eyes "The curse of the modern age." Dash only smirked, pointing her thumb to her fire-haired friend "Yeah, I know. Sunset learned that the hard way." Sunset looked at Dash, her lips curved into a sneer "Oh ha ha Dash. Make fun of the girl who has a term dedicated to bullying her." Dash shrugged, reminding me of Gary Oak as she looked away from her friend in a smug display of body language. "Not my fault you decided to get drunk." Sunset punched Dash's shoulder hard in response, Rainbow letting out a loud grunt. Making my way to my locker, I could only groan as pretty much anyone I passed called out to me in some way to nail in the new nickname. It didn't help that outside of this school, my lifestyle completely contradicts the new nickname. There's a reason I'm not Canada's version of Captain America... Finally making it to my locker, I paused as I heard the sound of two familiar voices yelling at each other from down the hall. "PIKACHU!" "AGUMON!" "BUTTERFREE!" "WIZARDMON!" "LUCARIO!" "RENAMON!" "ARCEUS!" "HUANGLONGMON!" NINETALES! ... What? As I approached the sound of the yelling, I was met by the sight of a small crowd formed around the two faces of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, Pinkie sporting a vintage season 1 Ash hat that seemed to be just barely holding on her head as her hair fought to explode the hat from the inside, While Flutters held a small Tamagotchi looking device in her hands, waving it around like a maniac in front of the Ponk That Runs The Party. "What's going on?" I asked RD, who was standing on the outside of the ring of students "Fluttershy and Pinkie are having another nerd off. Ever since Pinkie found out Fluttershy is a Digimon fanatic, they've been at each other's throats about it." Dash replied, her vision not swaying from the two's argument for a second. "What is this? The nineties?!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in frustration as I began to watch the two. "Pokemon is literally the same game it's always been since 20 years ago! Another three hundred new designs don't make a game better! Especially when the slogan is 'Gotta catch em all'! I'd rather rewatch Data Squad then have to sit through having to catch seven hundred Pokemon in a game that boils down to being glorified cockfights!"* Yep, they went there. Everyone who doesn't want controversy/spoilers, leave. "Well I'd rather listen to the 2.B.A. Master album then have to sit through another episode of the 'dub' that only consists of lame puns and a protagonist that not only abuses his supposed 'partner' to force him to evolve, something Ash or Red would never do, but is also a thickheaded numbskull who can't lead a team to save his life! If it weren't for Izzy, those kids would have died to an Elvis Impersonating Monkey who never shuts the heck up!" "Well, at least my characters develop! Ash has been ten years old for over twenty years, and has only caught like thirty Pokemon at best! And half of those were starters who he just 'got' because he's the protagonist! Tai may have been stubborn and thickheaded, but at least he grows beyond a ten-year-old who is too oblivious to notice that he has passed up at least five different opportunities for waifu material! How do you even do that!" "Oh really?! Well why don't we talk about shipping then Fluttershee! Tai got his crush taken away when she became a groupie to the Sasuke of the group, Davis had no chance with Kari to begin with, Takato is too busy dealing with the fact that his crush has been traumatized by the physical manifestation of an antivirus system, Takuya is got his girl taken away by an overweight chocolate addict, and Marcus is too busy punching kaiju in the face! And shall we not forget the giant middle finger that was the 02 epilogue!" I leaned in next to Dash, whispering to her as I watched the fireworks go off. "Does this happen often?" Dash sighed "Yeah. It stopped a while ago, but after Digimon Tri was announced they've been at it like crazy" Hanging my head in disappointment, I fought through the crowd and stepped between the two yelling at the top of my lungs as I pushed them apart "ANDREA! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Both of them immediately shook their heads and stared at me in response, either from confusion or to snap them back to reality. "But Wade! Pokemon is so much better!" Pinkie immediately yelled into my ear as soon as she had gotten her bearings. "No! Digimon is way better!" Fluttershy yelled into my other ear, albeit in her signature quiet tone. "I DON'T CARE!" I yelled back, looking to Pinkie first "Look Pinkie, we can argue all you want about nostalgia and shit, but Digimon will always have the superior anime, no matter how many years Ash has under his belt." I turned back to Fluttershy, stopping her before she could respond by putting my finger to her mouth "Shush you. Now Buttershy, you can't argue that Digimon has no comparison to Pokemon when it comes to games. They've been beating Digimon for years." "But-" I heard Pinkie start as I turned back to her "Pinkie. Shush." I took a step back and looked them both eye to eye. "Now let me ask you both a question: Why do you think that is? Why do you think that Digimon has the better quality anime? And why do you Pokemon has always had the better games? I'll tell you why. Because Pokemon started as a game and became an anime. And Digimon started as an anime and became a game. Both were great, in their original form, but the transfer from one medium to another made them less great. So both of you shut the fuck up, and get to-" It was then the bell rang as I hung my head and let out a long sigh as everyone around me rushed off to their classes "Fuck...." *This was written BEFORE the release of Sun and Moon, so those who are going straight to the comments to correct me in the inevitable flame war, know that 1: I don't really CARE which is better, and 2: That I know Sun and Moon changed up the formula. Finally making my way to the Chemistry lab, I entered the room only to see Pinkie already sitting in her usual spot one seat away to the left of my spot right next to the window in the back. "Did you really have to make such a big deal about something like that in the hall Pinkie?" Pinkie scoffed at that, her Ash hat still stuck on top of her head doing its damnedest to not fly into a hundred pieces from the force of Pinkie's hair pushing to free itself from the cage that is the hat "Fluttershy and I have those all the time! Don't worry about it too much." At that, Mr. Neutron entered the room, the class going dead silent as he quietly made his way to the desk in the front of the class. When he got to it, I could sense that something was off about the teacher, as his stone faced gaze scanned the room like a vulture "So I have a few things I need to address before we start class together. First off, to the one who decided to spray paint Sunset Shimmer's locker with derogatory and discriminating remarks about her past, either step up now and apologize, or face the risk of permanent expulsion from this school, as well as any school in this county. This extends to anyone who assisted or participated in this act of personal harassment and destruction of school property." The class sat there for a solid minute in dead silence as the sound of the class clock ticked away, Mr. Neutron finally breaking the silence to the sweet relief of the class "So no one in this class was involved? Okay then..." The chem teacher spoke, narrowing his eyes as he leaned onto the desk "And should anyone in this class be lying, just trust me when I say, we will find you." The class took a collective gulp as the chem teacher switched back to his goofy persona "Now onto the second item of our early morning agenda. Next week the school will be holding it's annual trip to Camp Everfree, which I will be one of the chaperones for. All students are required to attend this trip as part of the curriculum. Please bring proper camping gear and clothing." "This school has a camping trip as part of the required curriculum?" "That sounds silly." It IS ridiculous. This is the day and age where people only communicate verbally through Skype. Going camping has all of one word to describe it: meaningless. I mean....eh...I like camping...it's fun Oh trust me, watch the other movies. This school's curriculum is fucking nuts As class continued, I felt a nudge from Pinkie as she began to whisper into my ear "Yo, you wanna stop by my house later? I'd love to get you into one of my vidyas!" I could only smirk at the thought. I mean it's not like it'd be the first time I'd have cameoed on a Youtube channel. After Parker's failed attempt at a Youtube channel, I've had plenty of experience with the Youtube scene...plus that time I crashed the Honest Trailers Deadpool video. That was a good time. "Sure, anytime ma sistah from another mistah." Walking through the halls following my English Class, I couldn't help but notice yet another pair of familiar faces, both of them sneaking into an abandoned hallway , something this school has way too much of And by too much, you mean has any. "Seriously did this school get built by the mob?" "Probably some Union thing." Eh.....most likely just the writers not having been to an actual High School in years... 'Das a lotta burnt lightbulbs. Pulling my best Solid Snake, I snuck as close as I could to the pair, keeping my movements as comically exaggerated so Brad could describe them in detail. Unless I don't. Which I'm not. OH FUCK OFF! Ugh....Some people just don't understand comedy... "Lyra I don't understand why we have to hide our relationship like this." "Do you want to become the new Sunset Shimmer? Society isn't kind to the gay Bon Bon!" "It's been getting better I have to say. I mean if two rocks from space can be gay in a kids show than anything's game." I interrupted them, putting in my own two cents. They both reacted accordingly, the pink and blue swirl haired double Bon hiding behind her Toothpaste colored spooning partner who held up her fists "WHAT DO YOU WAN....oh hey, it's Superman!" Lyra spoke. I inwardly groaned, slightly peeved by the new nickname. LANGUAGE! What? I didn't even swear that time. You said Peeved. That's a swear in Equestria. It is? Damn, they be weaksauce there. That's not even on my three hundred word swear dictionary. "We're gonna do another blog post of that right?" Eh...I'll get around to it. Regulations, man, c'mon. Yes, just like you'll get around to writing this chapter. Shut up before I stop writing. I'll explain my reasons for this chapter taking so long in the Author's notes. Whatever you say Jackass. "So what is the deal with you two sneaking away from the crowd? It's not illegal to be gay around here...I think." Bon Bon blushed at that, clearly embarrassed by being called out on her gender identity. Not that I would know. I don't have a gender identity. "I thought we agreed our G.I. was just Deadpool." "That's what the comic writers said. What do you say, Brad?" Wade is whatever the hell sexuality I write him as. Bit pushy, but I'll take it. Lyra spoke up in her girlfriend's defense "You can't go around making out with another chick man! This is high school! You get seen being gay around here and you get turned into the next Sunset Shimmer!" I winced at that. Was Sunset really that unpopular at this school? I mean I get the whole 'taking over Equestria' thing and the fact she was a bit of a bitch before that but is it really this bad? I have a lot of work to do.... "Dude fuck that. Like I told Flash, High School popularity is a bunch of bullshit used by the 'cool kids' to keep them above the rest of the school!" Bon Bon finally.....hold on is it Bon Bon or Sweetie Drops? In the canon, it's both. As for here...Bon Bon. Kay. Bon Bon stuck her head out from behind her hand obsessed lover, asking a question I was glad to answer in my signature wit. "So what do you suggest we do?" I smirked "The same thing I do. Not give a shit. The system doesn't work if you refuse to acknowledge the system. Just show your love for each other unapologetically and tell anyone who makes fun of you for it to go to hell!" "Do we have to be that vulgar?" Bon squared questioned. "Nah, though it does usually work better when you do. Insecure teenagers are attracted more to swearing and all that shit. Most likely because they want to act older than they are. You know, all that rebellious spirit BS." I then grabbed the two of them and pushed them back into the hall "Now get our there and be gay!" I yelled as I watched the two go into the halls. holding hands as they walked. Walking into the lunch room I couldn't help but take a whiff of the many smells that filled the room. The regret of eating the mystery meat. An overabundance of deodorant. The sweat of the typical teenage. All filled the air as I made my way to my typical table. It was like walking into a shmorgus board of different emotions wafting around the room. Looking around I could also spot a ton of different groups intermingling with each other. The football team all sitting together, most likely talking about their practice experiences and fantasy stats of the major league teams. Choir kids sitting together, most likely talking about finishing their Solfege on their songs, or whatever concerts were coming up. Different clubs grouped together speaking about their scheduled programs. It was the best thing about High school, hanging out with your friends at lunch. Hell, one could say Lunch was High school in a nutshell. Different groups of people forced to share the same space in the name of learning. Making my way to my table, I couldn't help but over heard Vinyl and Dash arguing. "It's gonna be trash! Another cash grab with a bunch of CGI to bank of the fad and add nothing now but the bullshit that every one of these remakes add for no reason!" Dash yelled. "No way! It's gonna be glorious! The team behind it is dedicated to making this a treat for the fanbase and newcomers! The trailers are just showing the CGI to mock the fads! You saw the interviews! They intentionally did that to screw with expectations!" Vinyl argued back. "What are you guys talking about?" I asked as I sat down next to my favorite grey goofball. "They're talking about the new RWBY movie. The trailer dropped last night and it's got the fanbase split." Derpy clarified. "Didn't they use Mo-cap in the show anyways? I mean I guess CGI isn't that bad. It's not like they didn't already use some weird ass tech to make the show anyways." I said, pulling a chimichanga out of my hammerspace lunch bag. "SEE! HE GETS IT!" Vinyl yelled into my ear. "Wade, you have to agree that it's gonna be a mess! They've got six seasons worth of content to shove into a..." As the two argued I couldn't help but notice Flash sitting in the back of the lunch room, hiding away from the rest of the students in shame. Shoving my hand in front of Dash, I got up and made my way to the lone guitarist, sitting next to him and offering the ceremonial Twinkie. "Twinkie?" Flash stared at the confectionery treat like it had shot his mother, disdain dripping from his face. "Wade...go away." I smiled at him "Can't. You owe me an explanation." He looked at me like I was nuts, which once again, isn't untrue. "Excuse me?" "You know the deal. I won the match, so you gotta tell me how you and Sunshine got together. I'm all ears, bro." I said, the smug grin on my face bridging from ear to ear as I leaned on my hands against the table. "Just.....leave me alone. You got the girl. You got everything you could ever want with her. Now just let me be." Flash sulked. Unfortunately for him, I wasn't going anywhere. Though....I couldn't help but see something I hadn't seen in a long time in him....a bit of myself. A man frustrated with his current position in life, his girl stolen away from him by a force out of his control, and forced to fight a fight he never wanted to be a part of....Hell if Flash was Ex-military he'd be exactly like me a couple decades ago. Wade, what the fuck are you talking about? He's just a loser guitarist high schooler. And not even THAT. All he has going for him is he has our waifu. I'm not sorry. Eh, maybe I'm projecting a bit... "A bit?" "More like a shit ton!" Whatever you guys, I just can't help but feel bad for the dude. "Look Flash, You agreed to this and I'm not going away till I get some answers," I argued, sitting up to a more dignified position. Flash let out a big sigh, relenting and starting his story. "It started the first day of middle school. All my friends from elementary school had moved on to sports and stuff like that. I had no one to talk to, then in the first class, she walked in. She looked so confused and alone...and yet gorgeous. She was like a fallen angel, descended from above, or at least that's what my middle school brain thought. So I decided to talk to her. We got close after a while and I asked her out. We became the talk of the school at first and I started to get pretty popular for it. The guys who became my band mates started talking to me around that time....and I think it went to Sunset's head. It was like she had gotten power for the first time, and she wanted more and more. Eventually, I saw it influence her and broke it off with her....but then Twilight came into the picture." "Yeah, Twiggles always did have that effect on ponies." I remarked Flash raised an eyebrow at that "Ponies?" "Ummm...yeah dude, both your waifus are from a universe where everyone's a pony. Were you not listening to me during the match?" "I was blocking you out." Flash retorted. "Eh, most people do," I replied with a shrug. Flash couldn't help but roll his eyes "I can't imagine why." I smiled at that "Does this mean we're friends?" Flash sneered at me in response, responding with a poignant "No. Now go back to your girls before I punch you in the face." Deciding not to antagonize the boy any longer I got up and left the blue boy-toy and walked back over to my table, Dash and Vinyl still arguing. As I sat down, Derpy looked at me with a concerned pair of orbs, a frown frustratingly filling her face to boot. Why frustrating? Cause tell me you would want to see Derpy frowning any time of the day. "Touche." "How did it go?" Derpy asked. "Eh, I think I'm getting to him. Still got some work to do on it, but I'm getting there." I replied. After entering the gym, I sat down next to my favorite Applefarmer, a single thought on my mind: "So what do you thunk Pinkie's gonna have me do for her Youtube thingy?" "Ah dunno. I've been in a couple of them, and we just played some games involving guys with chainsaws on their guns...it was weird. Ah know Rarity played some Lawyer game series with her that's really popular on her channel or somethin' like that." Ah Phoenix Wright. That does seem like something Rarity would enjoy. Don't tell her he's in Mahvel 3. Yeah, though I would like to get a bit more a crosshair on what type of game we'd be playing..."Any ideas on stuff she's been doing lately on the channel AJ?" "Ah don't watch her. Ma internet on the farm isn't that great...Ah think Scooter over there would be able to tell you though." TO THE CHIC- it was then I felt a huge migraine go through my head, as if a nail was being hammered into my head, something I actually have previous experience with sadly. "What the hell?" AJ looked at me with a concerned look. "You okay?" "I think..." Am I okay? You know not to make that joke.... Oh yeah....that's your trigger phrase, isn't it? Sorry, it's been a year, kinda rusty on your Trigger McNuggets. Just don't do it again Asshole. Roger Roger~ Making my way downtown, walking fast and I'm....hold on...that's the lyrics to that song I have stuck in my head now...not what I'm doing currently...Hmmm...what am I doing right now again? Going to talk to Scootaloo about Pinkie? Right, Right, Right...got distracted. Gotta further the plot, unlike you in the last year. Alright, we get it. Stop beating that horse. "Yeah eventually it's gonna file an assault charge and we're gonna have to deal with its lawyers." "That or we knock it up like Sunset." Too Soon Crazy....too soon. ANYWAYS! Oh yeah...the plot. Making my way over to the resident future X-Games competitor, I scooted over and whispered into her ear "Yo....Scoots...I got invited to one of Pinkie's Youtube thingys...any ideas on what I'm gonna be playing?" Scootaloo looked at me, smirking at me and just whispering "Oh you'll see" before looking back to see the gym teacher, Mr. Sergeant, walking up to us "Oh crap... here we go again." The former Drill Sergeant locked eyes with me, getting right up in my face " WILSON ARE YOU TALKING DURING CLASS?!" "Ummm.....yes? Are we not allowed to converse during gym?" I ask as innocently as possible. The Drill Ser- I mean Gym teacher narrows his eyes, ending the conversation with one stern phrase "Three laps Wilson." "Ugh...fine." Making my way to my locker to grab my stuff after a long day, my plot convenient hearing perked up as I heard the sounds of petty squabbles coming from down the hall. Assuming it was another nerd fight between the Ponk and Butterscotch, I decided to ignore it at first, but then a poignant phrase rang through my ears. "WITCH!" Squinting my eyes, I ceased all movement and cleaned out my ears to listen in to the pertinent conversation, slowly creeping my way over to the source of the heresy. And as soon as I turned the corner, I saw it, Sunset walking down the hall on the way to the bus, every student she passes saying something along the lines of "Witch" or "Demon" or something along those lines....it was clear...I had a LOT of work to do. It was that moment when I decided...I need to start a revolution. Walking over to Sunset, I grabbed her by the arm, her looking at me confused at first, but the moment I started walking with her, she noticed the difference, most of the kids we pass now holding they tongue, though I did hear some whisper to others around them. I may be no superman...but maybe to these kids, I can be a Crusader. "That sounded corny as fuck." All your 80s are belong to us. "Bombastic, Corny as hell, stupidly over the top..." Like a shitty fanfiction? Was that the intent? Yup! Well then...I guess it worked. Either way....back to the plot? Ah yes, the plot. As we got on the bus, I immediately flipped off the boy I have lovingly dubbed "Jerkwad" and took a seat with Sunset, Rainbow joining us shortly after "So...another shitty day?" I asked the girl who was obviously having yet another shitty day. Sunset looked at the ground, almost ashamed to answer "Yeah...." "Hey....fuck them. Forget they exist and just be happy." Sunset glared at me, "It's not that simple Wade" "Maybe it can be," I responded with a shit eating grin. Sunset got up, moving to the back of the bus as it started rolling, me only being able to watch her sit sadly a couple rows back as RD started droning on about Soccer. As I approached Pinkie's house, I noted the bland, grey exterior of stones and mortar, minus one portion of the house, painted bright ass pink, juxtapose to the entire rest of the house, as if it was screaming at the top of its lungs, "NOTICE ME! I'M PINKIE PIE AND I'M AMAZING!". I couldn't help but smile at that. For as long as I've known Pinkie ever since that weird ass day when Boomstick and Wiz dropped me into Equestria for no reason on my fucking birthday, we've been best pals ever since. Admittedly it's not the weirdest day in my life, but- "We're getting a little off track aren't we?" Right...what were we talking about? "Pinkie?" Oh yeah...Ponka. Anyways, Pinkie always had this energy to her, like she does a daily dose of fifty shots of Red Bull and yet somehow never crashes. Plus the fact that she can break the fourth wall makes being friends with her a unique experience, to say the least. "Still wondering what we're gonna be playing." "Maybe a Shooter or some Saints Row?" "Whelp...no time to find out like the present!" I said to the audience as I knocked on the door. It took a minute, but eventually one of Pinkie's many sisters answered the door "Hello? Oh...it's you" the girl who I quickly identified as Pinkie's younger sister Marble Pie. "Heyo! Where's Ponka?" I asked, a goofy grin on my face as I walked up, rubbing the bottom of my shoes on the door mat and taking them off in the front foyer. You being polite? Le gasp that must be totally out of character, everyone, complain in the comments! HEY! don't do that! I'm not a savage! I know when to be a complete douche and be as impolite as possible, and when to be a gentleman and keep the inside of a nice house clean. Ehhhhhh...... EHHHHHHHH.... EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!! WOW...fuck all of you! Marble broke my inner hate boner by actually answering my question, though it was softened even more than it already was with her Fluttershy like shyness through her long hair "she's in the basement waiting for you." "Alright, thanks!" I said as I made my way to the basement. As I walked down the stairs, I couldn't help but notice the decorations of the staircase, making it seem as if I was crawling down into a medieval dungeon, though I guess that makes sense with the whole "Obsessed with Rocks." theme the pie family is going with....but then...I saw the basement. At the bottom of the stairs, sat the group of Pinkie, Rarity, Berry Punch, a girl who was clearly into her late 20s who looked like a hippy straight out of Woodstock, and finally Maud....all sitting around a large round table...all decked out in different LARPing class gear....christ.... "Welcome to Dungeons and Dumbasses Wade...."