//------------------------------// // Introduction // Story: The Invisible Brony Defense Force // by SoullessDCLXVI //------------------------------// "HEY!!" I shot up like a freaking rocket out of my bed. "Damnit Mandy! I hate it when you do that" I said to my next door neighbor, who had just screamed into my open window. She cackled loudly, always enjoying freaking me out. "I'm coming back in a half hour, I better not be coming back to wake you up again." Recovering from the shock, I fell back onto my very, very comfortable bed. Having been out of work for about a year now, I was no longer used to waking up involuntarily. Despite my body's demand that I go back to sleep I was glad that she woke me up. Today would be the start of a very awesome weekend. I struggled to maintain consciousness. It was a tough battle, but I won. Moving like a zombie, complete with moaning and everything, I managed to get a change of clothes and get in the shower. The warm water combined with the efforts of spreading soap and shampoo served to wake me up further. As I dried myself off I glanced in the mirror. I wasn't all that great looking, consciously, I knew that, but sometime in my late teens I gained a bit of a narcissistic streak. "Damn, I'm sexy" I said out loud. And I spent about a minute admiring myself. I was about 5'11" with long black hair that fell below my shoulders, I had started to develop man-boobs, My eyeglasses sat on top of a large nose and my beer gut was a good four inches closer to the mirror than the rest of me. Staring at the mirror was less self attraction and more early morning zoning out. It occurred to me that I had called myself sexy and then stood there staring at the mirror, the ridiculousness of that combined with nerves and excitement caused me to crack up laughing. "Yo, Steven, you alright? What's so funny?" My roommate and best friend Max asked, calling from the living room. "Not much man, don't worry about it" Max was my greatest friend from High School. When I fell on hard times he took me in. And he's barely lifted a finger since. Beyond work, I mean. Not wanting to be a burden I stay out of the house for the better part of the day, coming home usually when he leaves for work. I didn't really do much, just job hunt. Walking store to store right around our neighborhood submitting, or checking on, applications. Then coming home and grabbing the car to check sites further away so as to use as little gas as possible. When I got home I usually just cleaned what little mess Max had made during the day before making myself something quick to eat and settling down onto my computer to chill for a few hours on the internet. Provided Amanda or Tony don't feel like socializing. Which they do. Often. I'm not complaining... much. I'm just not the socializing type. I prefer to spend my time alone in my head, or with fictional characters in either text or video format. A lot less stress. But Mandy and Tony are really nice people, and I get along with them well. So I try to get over my social anxiety and spend time with 'em. Amanda and Tony were brother and sister. They moved in together next door to Max about two years before I lost my job. And they've been friends with Max and I for two and a half years. It was a strange coincidence meeting them. In our small city in Tennessee our kind were not common. Our kind being geek/goth hybrid types. Well, Max and Tony were only geeks. Nothing gothic about them. Now, if your reading "gothic" and your thinking "emo", Mandy and I have one thing to say to you. 'Fuck you. And kiss our pale asses.' Being older goths we're A: Subtle and B: Not from a time when "emo" was a thing. As far as we're concerned they are a stain upon the color black. ...Not that we care. We just hate that we're mistaken for those depressing tween pukes. I dried myself off and put on some simple black clothing. Even my underwear and socks were black. Not that anybody'd see them. Heck no one would see my belt either. I chuckled a little at the thought. I put on my leather jacket sprayed some cologne on and walked out into the living room. "I can't believe we're going to New york to attend a convention... for fucking ponies." Max said as I plopped down onto the couch. "Hey man, you don't need to come" "And miss a free trip to New York? Yeah, right. I can deal with your ponies long enough to check out New York." "Why do you even wanna go? The only reason I'm going is the convention. There is literally nothing else to do there" Max lifted an eyebrow, then, sighing, said "Just because you lack imagination doesn't mean I do. Besides, it's something I can check off my bucket list" "Bucket list? Something you wanna tell me?" I said, suddenly a little worried "What? No. I mean like.. it's one of those things you gotta do at least once in your life, like getting laid or riding a rollercoaster" It was my turn to raise an eyebrow "When did you get laid?" I asked. Max's face fell into a very neutral expression "It's a long list" he said flatly. There was a knock on the door and our heads swiveled to the front door. "Who is it?" I asked. "Who do you think?" Replied Tony's deep voice. Normally at this point he would've just walked in. Instead he said, "You comin' or what? We need to be on the freeway in a half hour if we wanna stay at a hotel. Otherwise it's going to be a long, unbroken drive. And I'm not doing-- Well, glad to see you're ready" He smiled as the door opened. -||-||-||-||- Sarah had just finished buying the ingredients for her spell. It wasn't going to be as accurate as she'd hoped as a result of some of the ingredients being either extremely rare to the point of bank account breaking, or just non-existent altogether. But that was only a few ingredients and their substitutes would work well. Just not as well. When the spell was cast a violent and sudden electrical storm would build over New York. Lightning would hit randomly all over the city and "somehow" cause or ignite as gas explosion at the convention. In doing her research like a proper witch she had found out that the land that the characters from the show that the bronies were so fascinated by was indeed real. This astounded her and, curious, she learned more. Apparently there was a thin connection to that universe and the one they currently occupied. The original creator of My Little Pony had been a witch. He was able to catch vague and brief glimpses of the world and it inspired him to make a line of toys for girls. She also discovered that Lauren Faust was the other witch in the world and having half the magic left, was able to get a much clearer sight into the world of Equestria. Sarah hazarded a guess that a lot of the cartoons that Lauren had made were either based off of, or loosely guided by, real alternative universes. It was curious that Earthly Magic had two ties to Equestria already, and would soon be getting a third. Because it was Sarah's intent to send every brony attending BroNYCon there. Even if they didn't want to go. She still felt they didn't need to die. She knew a few bronies. They were nice guys. Just heavily annoying in a group. Or on the internet. She tried to find a spell that would lessen their group impact but failed. She guessed if that spell existed the burnings at the stake wouldn't have taken place. What she did however find was a few wish fulfillment spells. She combined them and tweaked them along with a trans-universal spell, created by Einstein in the 40's, to make a spell that would change each bronies physical appearance to match that of their fantasy selves. (Not really understanding geeks very well, Sarah assumed all bronies wished to be MLP: FiM style OC ponies.) After that happened a portal would open and drop the bronies in the center of 'Ponyville'. Just after the portal activation she would create false, charred, bodies. One for every person in the building, covering her tracks entirely. She figured this would solve her problem in three ways: 1: Large sum of bronies removed from her plane of existence. 2: The apparent explosion would be difficult to explain, and murder would be considered to be highly probable by the public, thus quieting the brony community for fear of violent retaliation. 3: With bronies calmer, the "haters" would also calm down. And the internet would be free of the intrusive presence that is the MLP fandom.