“So, he hasn’t even come out since the party? It’s been a whole week, though!” Twilight exclaimed in surprise as she and the Princess stood outside the Draconequus’s room.
“I know… I’ve tried talking to him, but he just sits in there all day… I’m really getting worried about him…” Princess Celestia replied with a sigh as she stared at the wooden door with a vacant expression.
Twilight stared at the door in thought. Perhaps she would have better luck then the Princess? Cautiously, she knocked on the door; once, twice, then finally a third time. “Discord? How about you come out and we can talk about this?”
They heard a muffled chuckle from behind the door, “There’s nothing to talk about! How many times do I have to tell you? Celestia’s not pregnant and I’m not a father!”
Celestia sighed before looking down at her hooves. “He just keeps denying it, no matter what I say… Honestly, it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall…”
Twilight frowned upon seeing her teacher so sad. “It’s alright, Princess. I’ll fix all of this! There’s no need to worry!” She assured as she laid a hoof on her shoulder.
Looking up, Celestia smiled. Twilight was always there for her. Well, almost all the time. There was the whole wedding fiasco, after all. “Thank you, Twilight. I couldn’t have a better student… Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go meet with the doctor. I’m going to be finding out if the baby’s a boy or a girl! Too bad Discord won’t be a in a sane mind to hear it…”
“Oh, he will! You just wait and see! As soon as you come back, I’ll have this all sorted out! Or at the very least he’ll have moved onto the next stage...” Twilight mumbled as she took another look at the door.
“Well, thanks again, and good luck… I’m sure you’ll need it…” Princess Celestia nodded towards her student before heading down the hall and disappearing behind a corner. The unicorn turned back towards the door.
“Discord, will you at least let me in? All I want to do is talk!”
There were a few moments of silence before she heard a sigh. “Fine, but make it quick…” She heard a snap and the door swung open, allowing her to step into the Draconequus’s personal room.
She gasped as she saw the room around her, which was far different from any other room in the castle. It was massive, with the ceiling reaching up for what seemed to be miles. The walls were all painted a variety of colors, from bright pink to dark blue. They were all meshed together to form a collage of clashing colors. A water slide snaked itself through random sections of the room, disappearing into parts of the wall only to come out on another side of the room. Where exactly one would get on said waterslide, the unicorn could never guess.
The ground had an odd, rubbery feeling to it, and after pressing a hoof to it, she realized the whole thing was one giant trampoline. Across the room, she saw a giant swimming pool, which was where the waterslide ended. On her left was a large orange couch with an odd, massive black box sitting in front of it. She actually went dizzy as she looked around the room, there was simply so much to see that she just couldn’t process it all fast enough.
“So, what is it Twilight?” Came a voice to the right, which she immediately identified as Discord. He was laid back in a beach chair, a large tanning lamp hovering over him. She paced over to him, the floor under her hooves turning from rubber to sand.
“Wow…” She said in amazement as her eyes continued to scan the room. “How long has this all been here?”
“I built it all after the wedding. You should have seen the room before! Oh, it was atrocious! Good thing I made so many changes to it…” He replied, not even taking off the pair of black sunglasses that rested on his eyes.
Suddenly remembering why she came here in the first place, her head snapped towards the Draconequus. “Enough of the room, you need to stop this whole denial thing!”
Discord immediately chuckled at her words. “I’m not denying anything! I know for a fact that Celly isn’t pregnant!”
“Oh, yeah? And just how do you know that?”
“Well…” The Draconequus took off his sunglasses and glanced around the room. “I never, you know…”
“Slept with her? But you must have! How else would she have a kid?” Twilight questioned, cocking an eyebrow at him.
He rolled his eyes at her, “Well maybe I did once… But it was only once!”
“That’s all it takes!”
Discord stared at her for a few moments and an awkward silence filled the air. “Well, whatever! I know she’s not pregnant! It’s all just a lie!”
Twilight sighed as she looked down at her hooves. This was obviously going to be a lot of work. “Listen Discord. You’re going through the five stages of grief right now. Your denial is a defense mechanism, as this is all just too stressful for you to handle. Pretty much no matter what we say you’ll keep denying that you’re a father, but the truth is you really are. Your wife is going to the doctor right now to see if it’s a boy or girl.”
Discord simply stared at her after she finished. She hoped that he was trying to process all this, because if he did, then maybe she had a chance to make this all better. Her hopes were raised as he opened his mouth. “Uh, right… I think you’re getting a little too much sun, Twilight… Maybe you should take a dip in the pool to cool off.” He stated before putting his sunglasses back on and leaning back in his chair.
Twilight face-hoofed and she stood silent for a few seconds, thinking. Great, he thinks I’m crazy... Maybe I can’t fix all this? Oh, the Princess will be so upset! I have to do this for her! I can’t just give up!
“Right, I’ll be back in a few minutes! Wait here!” She stated before teleporting away, leaving the Draconequus to continue his silent tan.
The silence was broken, however, as Twilight reappeared a minute later, this time accompanied by a pink pony. “Alright Pinkie, now let’s explain to Discord that he’s having a mental breakdown!” She said, turning to find her side empty. “Pinkie?”
“Weeeeeee!” Pinkie Pie squealed as she went flying down the water slide, only to land in the pool with a mighty splash. She resurfaced and turned towards her friend with a grin. “You have to try the water slide Twilight! It’s super duper fun! This place is so awesome!”
Twilight let out a heavy sigh. There goes my secret weapon…
“Ha, nice try Twilight, but I think my real friends know that I’m in fact right. Isn’t that right, Pinkie?”
“Whatever… you… say… Discord!” Pinkie exclaimed, her words broken up as she flew high into the air then back down to the floor below. She continued to bounce around the room, thoroughly enjoying the trampoline flooring.
Twilight once again sighed before pacing to the side of the room, her head hung in defeat. There was just no convincing the Draconequus. No matter what she said, he’d still deny everything. It really was like she was talking to brick wall. I’d probably have better chances if I were…
“Don’t be so glum, Twilight! Why don’t you enjoy my room? Watch some TV; it’ll make you feel better! Or it would, if there were any channels that actually worked… This place has terrible reception…”
She had no idea what in Nightmare Moon’s name a “TV” was, but she really didn’t care. She had failed the Princess when she needed her most. She was going to be so disappointed in her… Well, I might as well break the news to her myself…
Twilight paused for moment in concentration, then teleported herself out of the chaotic bedroom.
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Celestia fidgeted in her seat as she sat, waiting for her results. She was just so excited that she couldn’t get still, and practically yelled when Twilight teleported into the room. “Oh, Twilight! I thought you were the doctor for a second…” She said with a disappointed frown.
“Oh, Princess! I’m sorry!” The unicorn quickly apologized as she threw herself in front of her teacher’s hooves. “I tried my very best, but I just couldn’t convince him! He just keeps denying everything… I’m so sorry…” She mumbled, practically at the point of tears.
Celestia looked down at her student and smiled. “It’s alright, Twilight. At least you tried…” She cooed softly as she ran a tender hoof down her face. “I guess we just have to wait this out! Just like you said, it’ll work out in the end.”
Twilight sniffed before looking back up at the Princess, a small smile forming on her face. “T-thank you, Princess…”
Before anything more could be said, the door swung open and a unicorn in a lab coat waltzed in. He gave Twilight an odd look, realizing that she had not been there a few minutes ago. Nonetheless, he smiled and turned to the Princess. “Your highness, I just got the test results back!”
“Really?!” Celestia’s head shot up and she stared at the doctor. “So, what is it?”
The doctor fumbled through his clipboard, as his ever-busy mind had forgotten the gender of the baby during his short walk back, and he simply didn’t want to admit it. “Ah, your baby is a…” He squinted to read the letter, only causing the Princess to squirm in her seat. The suspense was just killing her. “A girl!”
A grin formed on Celestia’s face at the idea. “Did you hear that, Twilight? A girl! I’m having a daughter!” She exclaimed while clapping her hooves like a filly. “Not that it would be any different if I had a boy, but it’s just I’ve always dreamt of having a little girl…”
“That’s great, Princess! Any ideas on what you’re going to name her?”
“Hmm… Well, I have a few ideas, but I still have so much time! Why decide now? Besides, I’d want Discord to have some say in the whole matter…” Celestia sighed, her mind suddenly going back to her distressed husband.
As soon as she said the Draconequus’s name Twilight remembered a certain pink pony she had left at the castle. “Pinkie Pie! I forgot I left her back with Discord! I’ll be back in a second, Princess!” She said before teleporting away.
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Twilight reappeared moments later in Discord’s room, her jaw immediately dropping after seeing the new surroundings. The room was now a mess; broken glass laid across half of the floor, the water slide was bent out of shape and missing sections of itself, and a chair was sticking out of what Discord had called the ‘TV’. Pinkie Pie was sitting in the middle of it all, a worried expression her face.
“Pinkie! What in Equestria happened here?!” She yelled at her, half worried that the pink pony had gone into another one of her breakdowns. At least her hair was still poofy and all over the place.
“Uh, well… Discord kind of got angry and started throwing things… He left here after he ran out of stuff to break…” Pinkie stated, her usual grin now gone.
“That must mean he’s entered the next stage! That’s good! Or not, now that I think about it… Come on, we have to find him quick!” Twilight exclaimed as she dragged her friend into the hall. A trail of broken objects led them down the hall as if they were breadcrumbs, and after a short walk they found the Draconequus in the throne room.
“Why me?! Of all the damned stallions in Equestria, I just had to get picked… Arugh!” They found the spirit floating in the middle of the room, and random assortment of objects floating around him. A furious expression was scrawled across his face, and after a moment, he threw a table across the room and through a stained glass window. It instantly shattered, sending pieces of glass shooting across the room while the table plummeted to the ground below. Immediately after, he launched another object at another window, again breaking it.
“Discord, stop!” Twilight yelled as they ran up to him. The Draconequus took his eyes away from the windows and stared at the unicorn, rage still flickering through his pupils.
“Ah, Twilight Sparkle! Celestia’s personal lapdog! What do you want?” He roared, his angry voice causing Pinkie Pie to cower behind her friend in fear.
Twilight, however, stood her ground and looked back at him with a vacant expression. “I know you’re really angry, Discord, but breaking things won’t fix anything! Just get down here and we can talk!”
“Bah! Why talk when I can smash some of Celestia’s things?!” He asked before throwing another object through one of the windows.
She placed a hoof over her face to cover her eyes from the shower of broken glass. Luckily nothing hit them. “You’re going to hurt somepony at this rate!”
“So what if I did?!” Discord yelled as he turned his attention to the golden throne at the end of the room. He raised his claw and the seat uprooted itself from the ground. Smiling, he sent it shooting across the room with a speed that could rival Rainbow Dash. It smashed against the wall, leaving a massive dent and causing the heavy throne to crash to the floor. The entire room shook from the impact, as if an earthquake had just occurred.
Twilight felt Pinkie shaking behind her, and she did have to admit, the furious Draconequus was a terrifying sight. Even back when he was an enemy, they hadn’t seen him angry. He had always been so calm and collected. “Discord, stop breaking things, please!” She pleaded, but he simply disregarded her words.
“Why should I? This is all Celestia’s fault! Not mine!” Discord yelled before once again resuming his fit of destruction. The throne room was very quickly turning into a disaster zone, and if Twilight didn’t do something the rest of the castle would soon look the same.
Turning away from Discord, Twilight laid her eyes on her still terrified companion. “Listen closely, Pinkie. I need you to stay here while I go and get the Princess!”
“B-b-b-but you can’t leave me here!” She stuttered, not even able to look her friend in the eye.
“Please Pinkie! Just watch Discord and make sure he doesn’t go very far! I’ll be back in a minute!” Before Pinkie could protest further, Twilight had already vanished, leaving just her and the furious Draconequus. Oh, I hope Twilight get’s back soon… Discord’s starting to remind me of his old self, and he sure was mean back then… He might not even recognize me as a friend anymore…