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// The Armies Are Gathering 
// Story: The End Is Neigh 
// by BraxAttacks 
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A/N: Holy mother of bagels, more than 700 views in one night!? This is madness!!

Seriously though, I never expected this story to get anywhere, really. It's a self insert written about a thirteen year-old, by a thirteen year-old. You guys are the greatest. Anyways, I suppose you want me to write an actual chapter, so here we go!


* * * * *


The fact that Twilight had conceded with me about questing was awesome. The fact that we were going questing was awesome. The fact that I needed another churro was slightly less awesome.

"So we just pack some stuff, gather up your friends, and head out? That seems way too... simple, if you ask me." It really is too simple. Just go out and save the world, no problem. Just another day in the life of... some random guy. Not much of a ring to that, is there?

"Well, yes. Everypony else will have to pack as well, so we should probably wait a day as well so no one feels rushed, and then we're off!"

I guess things in Equestria really are that much more simple and care free. Now I feel super privileged to be given the chance to be here. Do they even have taxes here? Maybe I can settle down someday, adopt a foal, and marry somepony. Maybe Pinkie. My waifu! Mine!

Then I realized something. I had nothing to pack. Just myself and a nickel in my pocket, that's all. Not that many 'artifacts from another world' as Twilight would put it. On a completely related note, I want a donut. And a churro. 

But my donut craving could wait another day, as I just barely noticed in time to duck a sleeping bag whizzing by my head. "Whoa! Watch were you magic that stuff!"

Twilight gave an apologetic blush and smile (HRNEGUGEH- *heart attack*). "Sorry! I'm just getting all the things we might need, according to this book."

Twilight, you should write a book about every single thing you know. There wouldn't be enough trees on your world or mine. I know I said you didn't know enough about laughing, but you have a book for everything! So logically, you must know everything!

So I just sat there in the corner, alone, not actually exposed to any harsh elements, pretty warm and toasty, relaxing against a wall. Wooooooooe is meeeee~!

As Twilight kept moving things around from random closets and bags and cupboards and what not, I watched in slight awe. It really is impressive how much she is moving around right now. My mind is thoroughly boggled. Like scrambled eggs. Wait...

I don't know when she finished, since I can only assume that I had dozed off or something, but I was suddenly assaulted by the evil fabrics of a blanket. I spasmed for a second, before noticing with my incredible powers of observation, that I wasn't getting eaten alive. Or dead.

"Wake up, sleepyhead! You need to pack too!"

I looked at her in confusion. "I don't have anything to pack." I gestured at the empty air around me. "Remember?"

"Pack some of my things, your going to need something if your going to come with us!"

I decided that she was indeed correct on that front. But there is always a back door! ... Even if I can't find it! "true enough. I don't know where anything in your house is, so um... I need help." Help! I need somepony~! Help! Not just anypony~!

Twilight led me around the library, and I picked up what remained of the random things that she had deemed necessary for packing. There was a shocking amount, too. Why do you have so many camping things at your house, Twilight? Answer me!

In the end I had a magically modified pair of saddle bags (so they could fit me), which were filled with a sleeping bag, some snacks, a book or two, and I think that's it. Leave it to Twilight to pack books.

"Off we go?"

"Eeeeee-yup!"

Twilight gave me a brief but noticeable glance that held recognition. Gee, what could have triggered it, the Big Macintosh quote, or the random bunny prancing through the yard. Whichever could it be?

Before it could stay on her face for too long, however, she wiped it off as we set out to find all the Elements of Harmony. First we went to Applejack's, who seemed flustered with all the plan changing. Can you really blame the poor gal? First we say we're sleeping at the barn, then we have something to do, and then we have to go on a big quest thing. Must be horrible for her mane. Wait, this isn't Rarity. Hold on a moment.

Then we stumbled upon Pinkie while on the way to Rainbow Dash's cloud home. She instantly agreed to go with us, and we got to have the rest of the churros! My stomach is now satisfied to an extreme degree of pony and food. Me gusta.

Rainbow Dash also agreed, though only after a churro. They are the ultimate and supreme method of leverage. Obviously.

Next came Rarity. When she first opened her door, I swear she just barely managed to hide the heart attack going on inside her chest. Then she screamed. Really, really loudly.

"Ouch, calm down Rarity! Braxton isn't going to hurt you!"

Guess what? She kept screaming.

"Oh, for the love of Pete, stop!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed before clamping Rarity's mouth closed with her bare hooves. I need to close quickly, and bullets too slow!

After an entire ten minutes of muffled screaming, she finally calmed down. Rainbow Dash hesitantly released her mouth, cautious of the possible return of the loud noise.

"A-and what, prey tell, is that!?" she pointed an accusatory hoof at me, and I wasn't sure how to feel. Probably angry, but my brain just said, 'derp, pony' and didn't do anything else, leaving little room for coherent and solid emotions.

Twilight gave an exasperated grunt. "This is Braxton. He isn't going to eat you or something, so please be polite, like you would with anypony else." Whoa there, Twilight, you need to go flaunting around your incredible diplomacy skills! Just chill, okay? Chill!

Rarity nodded her head slowly, almost forced. "Alright. H-how do you do, Braxton?"

"Pretty good, thank you."

She almost let out another scream, before halting it with a graceful hoof-shoved-into-mouth. Clearing her throat, she put up a very shaky smile. "Um, oh joy?"

I nodded, and stepped to the side to let Twilight explain the situation. As soon as helping royalty became mentioned, Rarity was all ears. Guess she really likes royalty, doesn't she? She agreed in the end, even after the initial misgivings. Which she did apologize for, when she discovered that I didn't act that different from ponies.

Lets look at the mental checklist, shall we? We have Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. Looks like the only one left is Fluttershy! I can't wait to met her!

...

Its going to go even worse than Rarity, won't it? Yeah.

Crap.


* * * * *


So now we stand just outside Fluttershy's cabin house thing. I'm not really sure what it is for certain, but it has leaves, and thus, IT LIVES!

We stepped up to the front door, and hesitated for a moment. I'm not talking one of us, or even a few of us, I'm talking all of us. At the same exact time, we all noticed the lack of ambient noise around the house. It was unnerving, since somewhere with tons of animals nearby should have some noise at least, right?

Then I took the initiative and knocked! Yeah! SOOOO impressive! I heard a surprised squeal from behind the door, and saw just a speck of pink mane and cream colored Pegasus in the window. Then a shrill scream could be heard, followed by the sound of at least five different locks being locked. This is a perfect example of what modern society calls, "How to get rejected"

Rainbow Dash decided that it must be her duty to solve this problem. "Um, Fluttershy? Its okay, he doesn't bite!"

Ha. Ha, chortle chuckle. Laugh. guffaw chortle laugh chuckle. Chuckle.

Hearing nothing from inside, Rainbow persisted. "Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of! At least open the door?"

A small, almost imperceptible creaking could be heard as the door opened the smallest fraction of an inch you have ever seen. Your ruler probably would have a hard time figuring out how little the length was. "Y-y-yes Rainbow D-Dash?"

"Fluttershy, its safe to come out. Braxton isn't going to hurt you."

"Are you sure?"

"yes."

"Super-uper-duper sure?"

"Yes, Fluttershy. I am as sure as a Pegasus can be."

Fluttershy took a tentative step out into the world after undoing the locks. It was a slow and meticulous process, filled with drama and decision making. It was also like seeing a goddess reveal herself. I swear, this is exactly what was running through my mind;

Wow. Fluttershy sure is incredib-

Braxton.

Whoa, who is that?

This is God. I have a message for you.

Really, what is it?

You have acheived enlightenmint.

Hellejuha, brother. Brohoof.

Brohoof.

That was what my mind was thinking. That I had achieved enlightenment. That nothing could top the revalation of the most cute an huggable and all around awesome mare that was Fluttershy. It was an un-boxing. In real life. With real pony.

Finally, she came fully into view. All however many pounds of scared-silliness that made up her being. Barely containing my sheer, excitement and joy, I held out a hand for her to shake. She tapped it. Very, very lightly. I almost didn't feel it. I gave her a smile before retracting my hand from her hoof. She kind of returned it.

Then silence waltzed in and took a seat in the front row, blocking half the audiences view of what was happening. That is how you missed her glomp me. No, I am not lying. I got glomped by Fluttershy.

My best guess is that she made the decision to think of me as a giant animal. Something that needed her gentle and kind care and attention. She instantly became happy, nowhere near as shy, which lead to said glomping. I was in euphoria. I could have had a heart attack and died right then and there, I would still be the happiest in all of my life. Pinkie may still be best pony, but Fluttershy was trying her hardest. And it was working.

No one else was okay with the sudden shift in personality, though, they all reared back, eyes wide with the unexpectedness of the tackle hug. I'm pretty sure Rainbow Dash thought she had lost in, with the way she was looking at her.

"Uh, you okay FLuttershy? One second you were scared out of your wits, and now your... hugging him?"

All of the sudden, Fluttershy's shyness returned, and she got off of me with a ridiculous blush. "Oh, um, I didn't mean to... Oh dear..."

I just smiled and sat up. "Its alright, Fluttershy. No need for an apology or anything like that."

She gave me another smile, devoid of fear, which made me chuckle. The old mood swing has been ridden on more than a few times today, it seems. "Oh, that's good. W-why were you all here again?"

It was Twilight's time to shine. "We came here to see if you wanted to help us all go and investigate the source of a strange disturbance with the natural magic. Will you come?"

"Um, how l-long of a trip is it?"

"We aren't sure. We have to go find the source of the disturbance, and then see if we can fix it. So pack for a long camping trip. If your coming, that is."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of letting you girls... and Braxton... go out without me! Then I wouldn't have any company here, would I?"

Everypony grinned. "Glad you agree, Fluttershy! So, we will set out tomorrow, so be packed by then. Everypony, go back to your own homes and pack yourselves. We have a long journey ahead of us, bring food, water, and camping supplies."

We all nodded, Fluttershy went back inside, and everyone went their separate ways. Me and Twilght stuck with Applejack, the earlier plan of sleeping there still holding strong. Applejack has grown more talkative around me, with open chatter about my world spilling into the conversation.

"So ya'll can fly around in these big metal bird thangs?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but we call them planes. You can think of the as giant chariots. They're kind of similar. Sort of."

"Interesting. Anyways, what do ya'll do fer entertainment?"

"Well, the most common would have to be this thing called television." Oh, I could spill the beans right here and now. Better tread carefully.

"And what in tarnation is that?"

"A television is this large box that displays moving images. We use it to show us shows, like a play at your fingertips."

"That sounds awfully convenient."

"It is. There are thousands of shows on at any given time, and you can change between them with the push of a button. Since we make the shows, there are tons of different kinds, like books almost. Drama, comedy, sad, you name it, its there."

"So its some sort of giant library turned into a play." Everything's a library to you, isn't it Twilight? Am I a library? Hmmmm~?

"Um, sure. We can go with that, I guess."

We arrived at the farm. It was as bright and cheery as any other Ponyville house, the same pink coloration present. The smell of apples wafted through the air and into my nose, and they smelled gooooooood. Insanely good. They have no right smelling this good. "This place smells like heaven."

Applejack gave a hearty southern laugh, one that seemed to warm my soul just hearing it. Maybe Applejack is a necromancer. "Well thank ye kindly for the compliments, though the smell aint nothin' compared to the taste."

That does it. I need apples, stat! "Can I have some, and see if they live up to your boasting?"

"This aint boastin', this is the truth!"

"Then lead the way, my good pony!"

Applejack walked to the side of the barn, and we all followed. She opened a large door that lead right to the barn. The smell grew even stronger, and I was salivating all over the place!

Spread out in large wooden crates were apples. Lots and lots of apples. What else there would be, I don't know, but all I wanted was apples. Not even waiting to be handed one, I just dove into one of the crates. I was swimming like a happy little dolphin. A pink one. Or is it more maroon? I don't know my colors. Are maroon and pink even similar?

At some point, I heard laughter all around me, and poked my head out of the mass of apples, one clutched in my hand. They were sprawled out on the floor, laughing their silly little pony plots off. The sight was too much, and I quickly joined them in the outrageous laughter.

After that little bout of stupid, we headed inside. Everypony agreed that I needed a shower. Even Applejack, for buck's sake! I decided that resistance was futile once Twilight threatened to turn me into a newt. That cliche is scary as hell when its pointed at you, and you know it can happen for real. *shiver*

After showering, I got out, dried off on the towels, which were really plush and and soft to the touch. I put my clothes back on, and walked out. That had so much purpose behind it, don't you think?

I walked down the stairs back to the main room, and found Twilight, Applejack, and Applebloom all playing Sorry! The board game. (f you don't know what Sorry! Is, then look it up.

They all glanced at me, and Applebloom instantly tackled me with stereotypical kid enthusiasm. She hadn't seen me yet, so I guess that's expected, I just hope she doesn't go, "Cutie Mark Crusader Monster Slayer, YAY!"

They also hadn't mentioned her to me yet. "Hello there, who's this little filly?"

"Mah name's Applebloom! Are you really from a different dimensa-thing?"

I chuckled. This was awesome. "Yes, Applebloom, I am from a different dimension. If you don't mind, could you get off my stomach?"

Applebloom gasped as she realized she was being impolite to a house guest. "Oh mah gosh, ahm' sorry!"

I patted her on the head. Her mane felt really soft. Almost addicting in nature. Hold still while I go get some scissors...

"It's alright, I'm not hurt or anything. I'm just glad you didn't scream, or something. That seems to be the usual response." Good thing Rarity wasn't here, she would have blushed in shame. Actually, she should be here, that would be cute. Oh Rares~!

I pointed at the board game. "We have that in our world too. Funny coincidence right there."

Twilight, with good reason, looked shocked. "Wait, really? But the chances of that are so, so... small!"

"I know Twilight. I know. That doesn't make it any less true!" I said in an almost sing-song voice. Applebloom was making me happy. Her and Sweetie bell are tied for cutest baby pony, so I was happy regardless of what was going on. They could be having a funeral and I would be hiding a smile. Unless Applebloom was crying, in which case I would be bawling my guts out.

Anyways, they continued their game, and I watched. It was an exact replica of the version from Earth, and every time I said so seemed to drive Twilight closer to the edge of uncontrollable curiosity. Eventually, she burst, like a balloon. Which all float by the way. They all float.

"ARGH! I can't take this anymore. She pulled me next to her with magic, and shook me by the shoulders. "Tell me more! I must know!" Yay~! Crazy knowledge hungry pony, go~!

I thought about it. In the end, I could not resist trolling. I'm so wonderfully horrible. "It'll make good talk for while we travel. For now, I could use a few good winks of sleep."

Then I used hypnosis on myself. It was super effective.