//------------------------------//
// Derp Insurance 
// Story: Ponyville Public Access 
// by Justice3442 
//------------------------------//

Spike and Starlight Glimmer sat on the sofa, munching popcorn and watching the television. A commercial had just started...

Love Tap and Button Mash trotted somberly into their home. "Poor Cheerilee," Love Tap said, shaking her head. "That was a nasty hit on the head."

"Is she gonna be okay, Mom?" Button asked.

"I don't know, sweetie," Love Tap said. "Her eyes are pretty badly derped. Nurse Redheart said they don't know if she'll ever underp." She frowned. "I can only hope she has derp insurance."

"Mom, have you ever thought about getting derp insurance?" Button asked.

Love Tap pursed her lips. "I don't know, Button," she said. "Derp insurance is pretty expensive, and I'm not sure your father and I could get coverage."

"You can get coverage from CelestialPenn for as little as two bits a day," Button said. "Every pony your age should have derp insurance. For medical bills, or video games!" He placed a hoof on his mother's shoulder and stared seriously into her eyes. "You and Dad want to take care of me and Gibson, right? You owe it to us and to yourself to get derp insurance."

Love Tap smiled and ruffled his mane. "You're right, Button. I think I'll call CelestialPenn right now and ask about derp insurance today."

"CelestialPenn. Derp insurance for as little as two bits a day. Call now."

Starlight frowned. "Ponies don't really have conversations like that...do they?"

Spike snorted. "Those two sure don't. For one thing, Button would never put his video games down long enough. And I doubt he even knows what insurance is."

"Well yeah, I mean, I wouldn't expect a little colt like that to talk about insurance like that, but..." Starlight shook her head. "I mean, nothing about that conversation sounded natural. Like, at all."

"Eh, it's a derp insurance commercial, what do you expect? Bridleway?" He got up to change the channel...

"EIGHT SEVEN SEVEN BITS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! CALL NOW!"

Spike gave the TV a half-lidded stare. "Seriously?"