//------------------------------//
// 14 Years 
// Story: Oceans of Darkness 
// by nobody_in_particular 
//------------------------------//

It’s the night before my 14th birthday. I’ve been planning for tonight for 4 years. I’ve always known that on the night before my 14th birthday I’d write a letter to my guardian, explaining my secret to them. I never imagined I’d also have to admit it to Soarin, too. What if he breaks up with her because of me? 

I wrote the letter, placed it on their pillow, and went to bed early so I wouldn’t have to see their reaction. 

I have the letter memorized by heart. I’ve been writing it in my head for years. The only thing, though, is if they do reject me, I’m not sure I’ll want to remember it. That would be like eternal torture, not being able to forget the one thing that ruined your life. 

All week I’ve been shaking and sweating. This is way scarier than I expected it to be. I’ve already been an orphan before, and I’d never felt more lonely. I don’t want that to happen again. 

Once Twilight was telling us (me, Sweetie, and Apple Bloom) to be mindful of the choices we make, because some people mess up their life so badly it’s like a bad dream that you can never wake up from. Maybe if I’m ostracized by the others then I can throw myself off of my balcony, so that they can live with the guilt that they caused a murder forever. Finally they could feel my pain. 

I wonder about those people who say those awful things about us. Do they really know what they’re doing to LGBT ponies? Do they know how many murders they’re responsible for? If I was an orphan again, maybe there wouldn’t be much left to live for, even though others say there are. 

Maybe the pain of rejection and being alone again would wash out any other physical pain I’d feel. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see tomorrow morning.