//------------------------------//
// Entry 2  
// Story: Oceans of Darkness 
// by nobody_in_particular 
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Rumble wasn’t at the breakfast this morning, so I’ll have to wait until school starts again to tell him. Thinking about the wait is making me even antsier than I already am. 

Pipsqueak, Apple Bloom’s coltfriend, was there. Part of me kind of wanted to tell him since we’re friends, but Pip’s an over reactor. I don’t know how he’ll take the news. 

I was talking to Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, about Rumble. They kept bringing up all these times when I’ve gotten so ticked off at him that I end up chasing him around everywhere, sometimes lasting for about ten minutes. 
“Look, I love Rumble,” I had said. “But sometimes he can be so obnoxious.”

The two filly’s mouths had fallen open after I said that. That’s one of the most annoying parts about ponies who don’t know you sexuality. They always accuse you of having crushes on colts. 

Right then I almost said, “I don’t love him like that, I’m gay,” but I decided against it. I don’t think I know them well enough to the point where I’d tell them a big personal thing like that. 

And besides, even though Diamond Tiara is no longer being pushed around by her abusive mother, her parents might not let her converse with a pony like me, considering their regal status in Ponyville. 

I don’t know about Silver Spoon. I remember one night I came over to her house to have dinner, and her parents and little brother were all so nice. But still, you never know which ponies you can count on and which ones will turn on you. 

In the long run, I guess it means that those who leave you just because of who you are aren’t really your friends, but if the CMC left me behind, would that mean that all those years of crusading together really meant nothing? 

I’ve seen groups of up to thirty ponies at once holding signs that discriminate against us and insult us. They always stand on this one street corner, throwing things at any two ponies of the same gender that are holding hooves. And if you thought they’d restrain themselves when it came to young fillies and 
colts, you’d be wrong. I learned to avoid them quickly. The only problem was that the street they were on was the one I used to get to school every morning, and since my wings are still very weak, I had to take a longer route. Mrs. Cheerilee gave me detention every morning for being so late. After detention I would run home and cry into my pillow. 

Soon after, I explained my situation and she let me off easily. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that my tears probably would’ve flooded the whole classroom as I tried to speak. Either way, she stopped giving me a hard time about it and told anypony who asked that my house was very far way, so it took me longer. 

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle still haven’t given it a rest, though. They’ve seen where my house is, and they also know that some days Rainbow Dash or Soarin could fly me to school when they don’t have Wonderbolt’s practice. I wouldn’t let them come with me because I knew they would start asking questions. All of the assignments I had to make up didn’t bother me. 

Now things are different, since the mayor banned any more anti-gay protesters to harass the ponies of Ponyville anymore. I’m kind of ticked off she didn’t do that a while ago. 

Soarin and Rainbow Dash were a bit skeptical about me not going on that street anymore. They said that it was weird how I was reacting to those protesters, especially since they were doing nothing to harm me. But after trying to get me to open up a few times (with failing results, I might add) they eventually gave up. 

I suppose that when they kept asking me why I was so bothered by those ponies, it meant they cared, so I shouldn’t be afraid. I don’t know. It’s all so confusing, like there is a pony on either side of me, each holding on to one of my forelegs and pulling me in different directions. 

Maybe one day I’ll finally break. Those ponies will tear me in half and I’ll go crazy. All I want is to lead a normal life and be happy, but is that even possible now?