What in the world was I thinking?
As Princess Luna had advised the night before, I decided to go and see some of my old friends. Being as ahead in my studies as I was meant that whenever I was required to participate in any classes or attend a few lectures in the Academy I had to be in the company of ponies that were much older than me. So, of course, not many of my classmates wished to associate with me, because of age difference or simply thinking I was an arrogant know-it-all.
It didn't bother me much, honestly at the time, but after a few months of this I did grow a bit lonely. My old classmates no longer spoke to me since I no longer attended any of their classes, which upset me a bit at first, but Princess Celestia assured me that they were only jealous of the fact that I was smart enough to understand things they were not able to comprehend yet. That made me feel a bit better, for a time, but it didn't last. Soon I wished to at least have somepony to study with from time to time. Even though I hated to admit it, I didn't like to be alone. It made me feel worthless.
That's around the time I began to hang out with Tanya and Meril. They weren't really good friends of mine, but they were all I had whenever I wanted to get away from my studies and let loose at a party, so I thought that it might be nice to at least see them again, for old times’ sake.
First I tried to find Tanya at her house, but she was nowhere to be seen. Part of me knew where she may be, but I wanted to deny that unfortunate truth as much as I could. But I didn't want to give up without at least trying, so I headed off towards the bar.
It took a bit, but I soon reached the small pub that sat in the middle of Canterlot. It was a really nice place, honestly, but unfortunately I knew that most of the ponies that went in there were anything but.
I pushed the door open, and a strong gust of alcohol, hayburgers, and a hint of bleach hit my nose the minute I entered.
I forced myself to ignore the smell and searched the small crowd of ponies, hoping to find Tanya.
Sure enough, I saw a young brown unicorn sitting in a round booth with a beer in her hoof, sitting along with a blue unicorn who was finishing braiding one side of Tanya’s dark mane into small cornrows.
I shook my head at the scene before me before I walked towards them.
Tanya’s cold dark brown eyes caught my own for a second, a challenge in them as I walked closer. Then realization of who I was hit her and she smiled.
“Holy Celestia, if it isn't Solstice Shimmer!” she practically yelled as she pulled away from Meril and leapt up from her seat to hug me.
I stumbled over a bit, surprised by her sudden weight on me, but I managed to return her hug, rolling my eyes as I did so.
“Hello Tanya.”
“Hello?” She pulled back and looked me in the face, her breath reeking of beer to the point I had to resist the urge to wrinkle my nose a bit. “Five years, of absolutely no contact with your bestest of friends? And alls you gotta say is ‘hello’?”
I half smiled as I gently pushed her away. “Actually, Tanya, it's only been three years.”
She waved her hoof dismissively. “Three years, five years, same thing. Don't matter, you’re here now.”
I rolled my eyes a bit as I looked over at Meril.
“Seems not much has changed.”
Meril nodded in agreement. “You have though.”
“Yup. New parents, new home, totally clean record, it's simply wonderful. Now I can totally save you guys’ arses if I need to.” I smirked.
Meril half smiled as she got up from her seat and hoofbumbed.
“Glad to see you still got your sense of humor, bud.”
“As always,” I chuckled.
“So what brings you to our neck of the woods?” Tanya asked as she sat back down.
I sat in front of them as I raised an eyebrow, smirking.
“Your neck of the woods? This isn't actually the bums of Canterlot, Tanya. You'll have to go a bit further for that.”
“You know what I meant.” Tanya shook her head as she took a sip from her beer.
“Nothing much really.” I sighed. “I was just in town and thought that maybe we could catch up or something.”
Tanya glanced over at Meril before she laughed wryly.
“Aww, Solstice is getting all sentimental. Have you seen your sorry excuse for parents yet? Wait, I forgot! You ditched them!” she laughed. “Decided that you needed to be up higher in status huh?” she asked.
I clenched my jaw a bit when she said that. Tanya always knew how to push my buttons back in the day, but I kinda forgot how heartless she can be at times.
“No.” I spoke a softly as I could, hoping to keep my temper under control.
Tanya scoffed. “Please! You always wanted to be better than all of us. Looks like you finally succeeded! Getting into the home of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Along with her traitorous lover, who is it again? Ah! Sunset Shimmer?”
Keep it cool, Solstice. Keep it cool. I breathed evenly. She was really pushing it now.
“My mother is no traitor. She's changed,” I spat.
“Mother?” Tanya raised an eyebrow in confusion before two and two clicked in her mind. “Oh, you're actually related to the mare? Bloody hell. That explain a lot!”
“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Well, things were never good enough for Sunset. And things were never good enough for you. No matter how great things were for you, you'd turn a blind eye to it. Drove us all freaking insane.” Tanya laughed again halfheartedly as she took another drag from her beer. “Must be why Sunset gave you up, hmm? You must have not been good enough for her.”
That is when I totally forgot about playing it cool.
“Shut the hell up, Tanya! My mother loves me! And you have no right to tell me she doesn't! Besides you shouldn't throw stones at me, when I know that you've got plenty of things I can pick on. Didn't I hear that you just dumped a rich stallion last month?” I asked.
That took her by surprise as her chocolate brown eyes bore into my own. I half smiled a bit; I believe I had hit a sensitive subject.
“Handsome fellow wasn't he? One of the most powerful nobles in Canterlot? By what I hear he doesn't just date anypony. Must have been really special to him.” I leaned in a bit closer, my eyes staring daggers into her own. “Perhaps more than special.”
Tanya breathed heavily while Meril simply sat back and watched the scene before her.
“What ever did you do to lose him? Perhaps, you,” I leaned in closer, a smile smirk on my face, “were giving your specialness to somepony else instead of him?”
Tanya smashed her bottle on the ground then stood up on the table, glaring down at me as I sat there, looking back up at her with the same confident smile on my face.
“The bastard cheated on me, ok? I did love him, but he decided I wasn't good enough. So you back away before I get really pissed off.” Tanya’s tone sounded oddly cool even though I saw how irritated she was.
“Is there a problem here, ladies?”
Tanya and I both turned to see a young guardspony standing next to us, his dark green eyes stern as he watched us carefully.
Wait...I froze as I stated at him...those eyes.
I blinked about ten times, praying that I was just seeing things. Thankfully when I looked again I say that they were more of a sea green. Phew! I breathed a small sigh of relief as my heart restarted in my chest. Thank Celestia.
“Ma'am?” he gave me a confused look as he stepped a bit closer. “Are you alright?”
I nodded quickly. “Yes. I'm fine. We're fine. Right?”
Tanya glanced at me before she rolled her eyes. “Yes, officer. We were just leaving,” she said as she jumped off the table.
Tanya drank the last bit of her beer then threw a small purse of bits on the table, as Meril rose from her seat.
“Hey,” she spoke but I didn't turn to face her. “Just saying if you want a drink you can put it on my tab, for old times sake.”
I nodded, not daring to look at her.
“See ya, Solstice.” She didn't look at me either as she walked away.
Meril lingered behind as she put her hoof on my own, patting it gently before she put her lips to my ear.
“Listen to me, I know she's a bit of a jerk at times, but if you ever say another word about him again, I might have to knock your ego down a few floors.” Meril’s hoof gripped mine tighter as hissed her warning in my ear. “Got it?”
I nodded.
“It was good to see you.” She patted my hoof again then left.
Solstice, what the hell did you just do?
It was rather rainy that day in Canterlot. I walked through the street while everypony else ran through the rain. It was rather nice, the thunder roaring in the air as lightning ripped across the sky, raindrop falling gracefully around me, soaking my mane and fur. I sighed. With nothing else to do I decided to go to the only place I knew. The library.
Walking silently through the large doors, I was thankful to be out of the pouring rain, and shook the water from my fur as I made my way towards the fireplace.
I sat quietly in library, curled up in a chair next to the grand fireplace deciding to reread one of my old favorites, ‘Prisoner of Azkaban’. I was a bit tired from staying up so late the other day so it was hard for me to concentrate on the book as my eyes kept drifting closed every few seconds.
“Tired, I gather?” a soft voice asked.
I jumped about five feet into the air and dropping my book as I threw my hooves into the air and I swear I almost screamed right there in that library when she spoke. It was just so sudden, and me being as exhausted as I was made it much worse.
With my heart thumping unnaturally fast I looked up, ready to chew somepony out for disturbing me, but when I looked up all my anger left me instantly.
Now, I'm not normally a pony to be at loss for words, but as I sat there looking up at this pony I simply could not find a single thing to say.
Standing before me was a white unicorn, with a dark auburn mane that she had tied in a loose ponytail with a few stray strands falling around her face. I was a bit ashamed of my boring blonde mane that I had, thankfully, left down, but I did what I could to slow my heart down so that I picked up my courage as I raised my head a bit, trying to recover myself.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.” She spoke in more of a hushed tone this time, noticing that the librarian was glaring at us.
“You didn't. I mean, you did, but I'm fine. Just as you said...tired.” I was stuttering way too much! Solstice. Honestly! Keep it together.
She laughed a bit before she glanced at my book, that was now lying on the ground.
“‘Prisoner of Azkaban?’ Good choice.” she smiled. “Although I've alway been inclined towards ‘Deathly Hallows,’ but that's just me.”
“That is a good one. But it was a bit too emotional for me.”
She nodded.
“I understand, but it shows that with good things must come sacrifice. Not everything can be easily won.”
“I suppose. But still.”
“What?” she asked.
“I admire that they were able to overcome it in the end, but it makes me wonder sometimes. If they had to go through so much in order to survive, does that mean we all have to? Will nothing ever be won without sacrifice?”
“There will be no progress or accomplishment without sacrifice,” she said. “It is a fact of life.”
I nodded. She was right. It was a fact of life.
“Why do you ask such a question?” Stargaze asked as she sat in the chair opposite of me
I shrugged as I pulled my eyes away from hers and looked into the flickering flames in the fireplace. “I don't know. I'm worried I guess. If there is to never be any sort of accomplishment without sacrifice, does that mean that I'll have to give something or...someone up in order to set things right?”
“No. It doesn't always mean that kind of sacrifice. Sometimes you have to give up something that is inside of you. Pride for example.”
Pride? Who said I was proud of anything? Nothing I've done is worth being proud of. Absolutely nothing.
“There are many things that we have to give up in order to grow up. When a child grows they must learn to put away childish things and become the adult they are growing into. They must learn to do more than just stand on their own four hooves, they must know how to support themselves as well. Every succeeding mare and stallion started out as simply as any of us. Young, daring and very possibly afraid. Once they lept off into the world and worked for their success they became as they are now,
“‘Every master was once a beginner.’ I find that helps me when I think about a little filly Princess Celestia and Luna playing in the courtyard practicing levitation. It encourages me to go on.”
I smirked. Well I'm happy that works for you, but I'm not sure it'll work for me.
“I'm sure magic is not the thing that is troubling you, though. You graduated, what? Three years ago?” she asked.
I looked back at her, a bit surprised.
“How did-”
“I was a year ahead of you. I noticed you from time to time, but I never really spoke to you. I slightly regret that now,” she said with a smile.
“Well, not many wanted to speak to me anyway, since I was so ahead in my year,” I sighed.
“Nonsense. Everypony admired you, they were just intimidated by you is all. I remember many a time when we would be sitting in the gardens then one of my friend would be like, ‘Solstice Shimmer is in my herbology class everypony! How in the world am I going to pass now? What if the professor makes us partners?!’ Then another would disagree with your brilliance while another defended you until a whole debate would break out.”
“Sounds amusing,” I said.
“Oh it would become amusing at times. Once one of my friends full on fought with a unicorn that said you were sleeping around with the seniors. I stood by and laughed as he was turned into a tree.”
I rolled my eyes. Ponies can be so confusing at times. Besides what evidence would they have to think I was sleeping around? It's so stupid what ponies will do to get attention.
“You were a role model to many of the ponies. They were just too afraid too say it,” she said.
“I doubt that, but okay.” I set down my books into a neat pile as I stood up. “Enough of this kind of talk. I think introductions are in order.” I stood up, holding out my hoof to shake hers. “I'm Solstice Shimmer. I like to read and also tend to change conversations to depressing subjects way too much apparently.”
She smiled as she shook my hoof. “I'm Stargaze. I also enjoy reading and I apparently like to scare ponies without intending to.”
I smiled. “Nice to meet you, Stargaze.”