//------------------------------// // 209 - Commerce! // Story: Putting on a Silver Robe and Wizard Hat // by David Silver //------------------------------// Seated behind the desk in his study, Filthy Rich smiled as he looked at the large sacks of bits laid out in front of him. Just by looking at them, he could estimate that they contained a considerable sum. “So I take it that business is going well so far?” “Superbly!” “Stupendously!” “Supremely successfully!” That last line was spoken in chorus, with Flim and Flam grinning widely. The latter brother spoke up next. “Business was slow to get started, but once the ball got rolling it couldn’t be stopped.” “You mean ‘can’t’ be stopped, brother mine,” interjected Flim. “Indubitably!” Flam nodded. “Just today, we hit a new peak of sign-ups for the fourth day in a row! And orders are starting to pile up!” “Having new members recruit other members was a brilliant idea, Mr. Rich, simply brilliant!” said Flim. “It’s one thing for a stranger to convince somepony to try something new, but it’s something else altogether when it’s their friends and family doing the selling!” “Plus your plan to charge commissions on every new sign-up, and sale, that they make!” “Why, at this rate, we’re going to outgrow the Canterlot market before the end of the month! Which can only mean…” Once again, both of them chorused, “That it’s time to start expanding!” Filthy Rich’s smile grew wider, pausing to imagine just how much money he’d make once AmNeigh spread across Equestria. But there were still a few more things to cover first. “That’s excellent news, gentlecolts, truly excellent. But we need to make sure that we target our markets correctly. Do you have the sales data I asked for?” “Quite so!” Flim pulled a scroll from a pouch and floated it over to the desk so that Filthy could look at it. “As you suggested, we made sure to pitch AmNeigh to Canterlot’s lunar pony population.” “And my word, did they ever go for it!” grinned Flam. “As of right now, they make up more than half of our distributors.” “I have to say, I never would have thought of selling to the poorest members of Equestria’s richest city. Where did you gain such a novel insight, if you don’t mind my asking?” Flim raised one eyebrow in curiosity. “A little birdy told me,” Filthy replied smugly. “Hm, a talking bird? You know, we could make an incredible show out of that,” mused Flam. “Quite so, dear brother! The ponies would come from far and wide to see it! Why, I can already imagine the crowds!” “Indeed! And once they’ve paid to get in, we could make a small surcharge to let them have a short conversation with the loquacious avian!” Filthy Rich sighed. The Flim-Flam brothers were the best salesponies he’d ever seen, but their antics could be tiring. “Gentlecolts, it was just a figure of speech.” Ignoring the disappointed looks that crossed their faces, Filthy kept speaking. “I’ll start getting things ready for taking AmNeigh outside of Canterlot. In the meantime, keep doing what you’re doing. Remember: every customer is a potential new recruiter.” “Quite right, Mr. Rich, quite right!” enthused Flim. “Well then, we’ll be off, after we’ve taken our fee of course.” He started to float the bags of money away, but Filthy leaned forward, putting his forehooves on the bags to hold them in place. “You’ll receive your fee, after I’ve accounted for what’s here and divided it up properly, as per our agreement.” The Flim-Flam Brothers glanced at each other for a moment before nodding. “Of course, good sir, of course,” smiled Flam, though this time his grin was far less pronounced. “We’d never dream of anything less than total transparency. Then, we’ll be back in a few days with good news.” The two made their way out of the study, and after several moments had passed Filthy got up and walked to the study’s only window, drawing the curtain and looking outside to make sure the pair had really left. Once he confirmed them walking away from his house, he closed the curtains again as he turned to a small door on the opposite wall. “They’re gone.” “It seems that everything is proceeding as I thought it would,” spoke his guest as he exited the den. “As the Flim-Flam Brothers would say, ‘indeed,’” smirked Filthy, looking up at the…what were they called again? Ah yes, the “human”…that had proposed this entire business plan to him in the first place. “I admit, I was wrong about your idea. This entire arrangement, recruiting customers, focusing on lunar ponies, all of it is paying off handsomely.” Filthy wasn’t idle as he spoke, going to a cabinet and withdrawing a bottle. “Care for some zap-apple juice? I always keep the finest of the batch for myself.” Seeing a nod in answer to his question, he poured two glasses and passed one to his guest before taking a sip of his own, pausing to enjoy the rich, tingly flavor. His guest did the same before replying. “I’m not surprised. Where I come from, this is a tried-but-true method of making money.” “Well, I do have to thank you for coming to me with it. I would have thought anyone with an idea this good would have used it on their own.” “Not at all. I figured that things would work better if this came from an upstanding pony with firm roots in their community than some alien no one had ever heard of.” “You’re being too kind.” Filthy’s words were belied by the look of pride on his face. His guest downed his remaining zap apple juice, looking at the empty glass for a moment before standing up. “This reminds me, I have an errand I need to run at Sweet Apple Acres, so...” “Ah, of course.” Filthy Rich indicated the bags of bits on his desk, not protesting as the human took one of the larger ones. “I know that our deal was that your cut remain entirely off the books, but are you sure you don’t want me to count it all first?” “That won’t be necessary. I’m going straight to the bank before I finish my errand anyway, so I’ll have them count it there.” “I see.” Filthy finished his own glass of zap-apple juice before opening the door courteously. “Well, Diamond Tiara is still in school right now, and Spoiled is in Canterlot scoping out a new summer home that we’re making a down payment on, so nopony will know you were here, though I’m still not sure why that’s so important…” “Thank you for that.” Ignoring the leading statement, the human nodded and turned to go. Filthy waved as he left. “As always, it’s a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Smith.” Samantha stood with a foal strapped to either side. She knew the others were having an argument. How could she not? She had both rigged with trackers and more than sufficient reason to use them. Oh, she had been told not to watch them, but that was only for a moment, and if she was in trouble, she'd want Silver to watch her. Golden rule, upheld. She let them argue. Such matters were far beyond her understanding of social situations, though she hoped they worked it out soon. Regardless, she monitored and cared for her smallest subjects happily, and tried to become a good salespony. She saw a pony emerge from a restaurant, tired, alone. Perfect. "Excuse me, sir?" The stallion blinked as he looked over the mare with foals attached approaching him. "Huh, what can I do for you?" "It's what I--" She gestured to herself. "Can do for you." She pointed at him. "You look like you had a fantastic meal, but you don't want to go shopping now, I imagine." "N-no..." admitted the stallion with some confusion. "Good! Because I'm going to get you everything you require and have it sent directly to your home." A quill appeared beside her, descending towards an order form that she began to fill out. "Let's start with your name..." Her pitch didn't always work, but it worked more often than it didn't, and from what she had heard from her fellow salesponies, that was doing pretty good. She crunched the numbers of the orders she had made, frowning a little. She had made a small but significant amount. The way she figured, she might make more doing other things, but she was learning so much! Besides... She turned the corner and smiled as she saw another salespony working hard. She approached the mare and tapped her shoulder. "Is everything going well?" She spun around in surprise but relaxed as she recognized Samantha. "Oh! I try to do exactly what you said to do, but it's hard." Samantha nodded. "Being a salespony isn't easy, but look." She showed her own numbers. "Maybe we should go over the pitch together. I know you can do this." This was not a fit of sentimentality. The mare was pretty and had a nice voice and Samantha was certain she could make the same numbers. She went over the pitch, playing the part of the salespony before playing the part of the potential customer. She was playing the teacher most of all, and that was good, at least until she tilted to the side. Morning Glory had teleported free. "Moment..." She went scurrying after the foal, only for Clear to climb free in the other direction. Perhaps her lessons would have to wait a moment... Gathering up both foals, she kissed their little cheeks and carried them towards a public square that had gathered eateries. "Alright, it's time for lunch." She understood them, to a degree. Sure, they spoke their own language, but it was consistent and their needs were simple. She liked caring for them. She settled down after putting them on either side of her, and soon they had food in front of them, which made the foals delighted as they stuffed their faces. Sure, Night and Silver hadn't given leave to start weaning them, but they had teeth and they liked using them, so Samantha saw no harm in it. Besides, she monitored their digestion carefully for issues. Being lunar ponies, she experimented with meat and vegetables, finding which ones drew the most favorable responses. Even when it meant she would end up covered in partially-chewed food, she enjoyed the meal times. They were her favorite subjects, and she felt she understood them, which put them a step up from most others that she could only pretend to grasp. They both gnawed on little slices of kiwi and Samantha smiled at them. They were adorable, or so she firmly decided. If adorable was a scientific... maybe it was? She'd have to look into that. Maybe being adorable was more objective than ponies gave it credit for. She took both and reported to her superior, surrendering her order cards and tallies. "I did well today." "You sure did." The stallion looked over her cards. "Shame you aren't taking the classes..." "Classes?" "Oh sure, they're not even very expensive." He tucked the cards away. "With the training they provide, I bet you could easily double your numbers." Samantha's ears perked. Why hadn't anyone else told her about these classes?! "How much?" Moonbeam, the lunar colt that had gotten her into selling, smiled. To Samantha, a gesture of friendliness. To him, dreams of bits from the commission of selling her a class. "Oh, barely anything, here." He offered her a signup form. "Just fill out the form and we'll get you in there as soon as possible."