The Elements of Lunar Harmony
Part Five: A Rose without Thorns.
The inhabitants of Ponyville dragged themselves out of bed as and when they could, heavy headed from cider after a most unusual and eventful opening to cider season the day before.
After the defeat of the Flim Flam brothers at Apple acres the ponies of Ponyville had gone on to enjoy the aforementioned cider a little too much and as a result were predictably feeling a little under the weather, the giant plume of black smoke rising from Canterlot in the distance was also worrying to say the least.
It had been like that ever since martial law had been declared four days ago and the capital was sealed off, most ponies were finally getting used to the random changes in the suns routine, most having woken at the usual time but found it to be totally pitch black outside without any stars and what looked like a moon hung by some pony who was in a hurry.
Unbeknownst to the general population this was due in part to the current situation rapidly developing in Canterlot, but also the mysterious wounding of Princess Luna.
Celestia sat next to her still unconscious sister’s bed staring out of the window while listening to the sounds of the capital and growing increasingly worried by them as she did.
Two days before cider season had officially begun Celestia had been holding court as usual when one of her guards arrived informing her that Luna had been injured and taken to her room unconscious and that the criminals responsible were being hunted down.
After a quick inspection of her sisters condition and satisfied she would survive her head injury Celestia made to continue her court while awaiting details of the attack.
Almost immediately she had been disturbed as the same messenger returned informing her that the guards who had pursued the assailants had disappeared and that a squad had been sent to find them.
The third report found her at teatime which was more successful than what it reported since the squad sent to find the missing guards had themselves gone missing.
Dispatching the messenger to find them personally had resulted in another messenger arriving to inform her of the now missing first messenger around eight o’clock at which time Celestia sent for her guard captains and ordered the mobilization of the entire daytime battalion of the royal guard.
What greeted her in the palace drill yard was a shock as fewer than three hundred out of five hundred guards had reported in, the rest were nowhere to be found.
As Celestia consulted her captains a deep rumble was beginning to be heard in the distance from across the capital and with each passing moment grew closer along with what sounded like giant metal hoof steps.
Celestia’s captains had managed to ascertain that the original squad had gone missing somewhere near the Wonderbolts HQ while pursuing Luna’s assailants in a joint effort with a posse from Appleloosa who were hot on the trail of these criminals for bank robbery.
Another report from the second squad sent into that area before their disappearance mentioned encountering elderly ponies fleeing the noise of a large party.
The last report received stated the squad had decided to investigate this after receiving yet more noise complaints from angry fleeing citizens, before of course continuing their search for their missing brothers in hooves.
Celestia blinked holding up a hoof as her captains voices tailed off,
“You said they all disappeared near to the Wonderbolts HQ?”
“Yes ma’am”
“You also said that there is a big party going on?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Did it occur to any pony this party might be at the Wonderbolts HQ?”
By the suddenly pale faces in front of her she realized they hadn’t, at this moment the second messenger returned with a report.
“All missing guards are still missing but word on the street indicates the captain of the Wonderbolts has also disappeared, on top of that a party has definitely started at their HQ.”
Celestia paused before responding “Spitfires gone you say?”
“Yes ma’am that would of course leave ‘him’ in charge,”
“Indeed a most worrying development, thank you for your report you’re dismissed.”
As the messenger left to continue his mission he took a sympathetic look at the now exceptionally worried looking assembly of guard’s ponies.
“B-But they promised they wouldn’t, they promised we wouldn’t have to break up any more parties!”
Celestia turned as the captain who spoke went white (an achievement for an already white Pegasus) his bottom lip trembled as tears welled up in his eyes his fellow officers were either silent, quietly praying or curled in the fetal position as she put a motherly hoof around the now sobbing captain, Celestia was convinced one of the other officers was writing his last will and testament.
(Historical Note: The unfortunate history between the royal guard and the Wonderbolts can be traced back nearly a hundred and fifty years to the first annual Wonderbolts end of season bash that was broken up by the palace guards after complaints of rowdy behavior.
This in turn led to a long standing Wonderbolts tradition of pranks directed towards the royal guard in retribution which over the years had escalated with every interrupted party.
This had been forcefully ended by Celestia who made both sides sign a peace accord governing the use of extreme pranks after magically altered armor eating parasprites had been introduced to the guards barracks and a squad had been lost to an inter-dimensional rift conjured in the toilet.
Which of course then mutated into life before breaking free of its fixings and chasing several maids, it then ate the court jester before surprising Celestia in the shower and promptly being blown to bits by the then freaking out goddess along with half the palaces southern wing.)
“Captain I want you to organize the guard and we will deal this together OK?”
The captain nodded and sniffled as he shakily returned the sun goddesses smile.
“Y-yes Ma’am, uh ma’am do you want me to declare marshal law… to help clear the streets that is?”
“No won’t be necessary yet, we may be able to contain this”
As the sun goddess comforted the captain she was only marginally surprised at this point to see what looked like a forty hoof high Spitfire stomp past the palaces outer wall with a full set of speaker’s attached to its back complete with DJ decks being ridden by a white unicorn mare with an electric blue mane.
“Captain I need you to… oh bother”
Celestia looked around at the empty drill yard as the dust settled and wondered briefly if discord had gotten loose before realizing the captain she had her hoof around was desperately trying to slip away since he was now the only other remaining soul in the yard.
“Captain I need you to go fetch them back I don’t care how but get them back, also call up the reserves, we have a party to attend.”
That had been four days ago and Celestia was still regretting those words and the humiliating retreat from a crowd that had met her with stale fruit when she’d tried to spread calm among the party goers and halt the festivities.
The guards that hadn’t fled far enough away after the yelling mob chased them back to the palace, had been forced to barricade the palace gates and pony the walls as the party spread like a colorful strobe lighted storm outside consuming all in its path.
Celestia had reluctantly called martial law and again sent her guards out to instill order but after witnessing the party first hand she wasn’t surprised when it turned into a rout for her guards after they reported having a party cannon repeatedly fired at them by a whooping pink pony.
Celestia had a pretty good idea who the pony responsible was and shook her head in defeat, if she was here things were dark indeed.
She looked once more at her sister before moving to attend the matters at hoof.
Meanwhile over in Ponyville a pair of ponies were waking up late after their own adventures with alcohol the previous evening, after much groaning in the end they got round to trying to wake the third member of their unfortunate group.
Who at least in Trixie and Spitfires hazy estimation seemed more passed on than passed out.
Trixie eventually left Spitfire in the large bedroom the three had passed out in still trying to wake Berry Punch, largely because the super fit athlete was having some trouble processing the minor volume of alcohol she had consumed contrary to her usual no drinking while training regime and since she was always training her tolerance was non existent.
As Trixie wandered around the ample town house and its attached winery she wondered if she’d overdone it with her magic the previous night and pondered if that idiot had survived and if he had how long he would be in traction.
Noticing a local flyer on the sideboard Trixie dismissed her rapidly heating thoughts about a defenseless Braeburn as she remembered where she had ended up.
Slowly Trixie took in the rustic atmosphere of the kitchen as she was surprised to find she wasn’t bothered by the sudden realization of being back in Ponyville.
Trixie thought about the Ursa Minor incident for a moment, she had run from this town to places she had never even heard of thanks to her reputation being destroyed by the rumor mill and the outlying towns had been her only hope of work.
The powder blue mare shook her head as she tried to dispel those images from her mind focusing instead on her current predicament but being rudely interrupted by a knocking sound from the other side of the house, making her way to the sound she found what looked like the front door, Trixie opened it cautiously with her magic.
“Mail mare”
In the doorway stood a grey Pegasus with a blond mane and golden eyes that seemed to travel around by their own accord but still managed to look expectantly at her while motioning to take the newspaper wrapped and hanging from string held between her teeth.
Trixie drew the paper magically to her and then stopped as the mare continued to stand there staring expectantly at her,
“What?”
“Muffin”
“You want a muffin?”
The grey mare nodded enthusiastically as Trixie frowned.
“Aren’t you a little old to be delivering papers and expecting treats?”
The mail mare blinked and gave her a sad expression,
“Lost a package on delivery now boss says I’m to deliver papers until it’s found.”
Trixie felt something stir inside at the sight of the depressed mare and was almost tempted to call it sympathy,
“Muffin… Maybe Berry has…”
The grey mare tried again hopefully.
“Nope” Trixie slammed the door and whistled as she trotted back to the bedroom swishing her tail as tried to push down a sudden pang of guilt at her treatment of the mare.
She’d hardly gotten a dozen wobbly hooves away when the knocking sound repeated itself.
Swearing she turned around and stormed towards the door ready to unleash hell upon that idiot mail mare, as the door was nearly ripped from its hinges by her magic she screamed.
“NO MUFFINS HERE!!!”
The scream attracted the brief attention of a couple of mares passing by the house who as they continued on the mint green mare of the pair turned to the cream colored mare with a three candy cutie mark and asked,
“Did that look like the great and powerful Trixie to you?”
“Nah she wasn’t wearing a cape and wizards hat” the candy mare replied as her and her partner kept walking.
Trixie heard that and grimaced as she remembered the pain at loosing her hat and cape after her trailer was destroyed the last time she’d been in town.
The magician looked around for the source of the knocking eventually settling on the prone mare laid out on her back on the doorstep, with a glance Trixie saw it wasn’t the mail mare but a cream coated young mare with a two tone red mane and tail with single a rose for a cutie mark.
Trixie sighed as she picked the unconscious mare up with her magic and brought her inside shutting the now wobbly door behind her, as she levitated the mare to the bedroom Trixie wondered who she had offended to be handed such a lot in life.
Spitfire had recovered enough to be at least concerned at Trixie appearing and then laying a strange mare on Trixie’s side of the bed, the fact that the three of them shared the bed last night causing a blush to appear on the Wonderbolt until she vaguely remembered Berries snoring and Trixie calling for her mother in her sleep and whimpering.
Trixie saw a strange look pass over Spitfires face,
“What”
“Nothing” Spitfire averted her gaze as she decided it wasn’t worth the aggro to ask about the blue mare’s mother.
“Where did you get the mare? Taken to kidnapping other poor souls for Nightmare Moon at random have you? Or are you that kind of mare.”
Trixie shot her a look of utter contempt before breaking into a victorious smirk as she magically tossed the paper to Spitfire and settled down on the end of the bed to watch having glimpsed the headline.
Spitfire eyed the blue mare warily as she used her hooves to open up the paper struggling slightly with the string much to the amusement of her audience of one.
The Headline jumped out from the front page followed by an artist’s rendition of a giant Wonderbolt stomping what looked to be the Canterlot opera house into dust.
WONDERBOLTS RANSACK MERCHANTS QUARTER PAY WITH IOU.
Spitfire paled as she read on, ‘Canterlot enters its fourth day of troubles as rampant party goers emptied the contents of many of the stores on the south side of the capital, law enforcement was a no show as thousands of boozed up ponies continued on into the centre of town to establish what many are calling the party capital of the newly formed radical pony political party the Party for politics party’.
The Wonderbolt captain swallowed as she turned the page to find her second in commands picture alongside the other three supposed ringleaders who the paper described as the four heralds of the apocalypse.
One picture she recognized as that accursed DJ friend of Soarin’s the other looked like an explosion of pink cotton candy the last picture was of a scowling grey mare in a pink bow tie that the paper seemed to think was a ringleader due to her constant proximity to the DJ.
Spitfire read the article that continued from the first page nearly choking when she realized the giant stomping Wonderbolt was a giant metal her, her forty hooves high homage had stomped and burned a destructive swathe through Canterlot.
Spitfire read on as the paper claimed at the behest of the grey mare they called a ringleader, it had leveled the Canterlot opera house, the grey mare was quoted as saying ‘that’ll teach those stuck up elitists! Teach them to discriminate against me the fascist’s.’
When the reporter had asked about what she was being discriminated against the grey mare had merely blushed and hidden behind the party parties head DJ and culture secretary, knowing that DJ mare’s reputation this made Spitfire blush deeply.
Trixie watched with undisguised glee at the mortified expression adorning the now despondent Wonderbolt.
“So glad you came?” Trixie nearly rolled off the bed in fits of laughter as Spitfire threw the paper at her with an exasperated howl of frustration.
At this a small cry of fright startled the two mares as the previously collapsed young mare awoke with a start and stared with big emerald green eyes wide with fright at the now quiet mares on the bed with her.
On the bed with her, this was the first stumbling block, the second arriving with the realization she was now being scrutinized thoroughly by the blue mare that just looked at her with cold eyes, turning her head towards the other mare she was relieved to see the yellow mare seemed less threatening than the other.
“You knocked on the door and then feinted” the blue mare spoke with a disinterested tone as she concentrated on looking disinterested.
“I-I came to see my friend Berry Punch but there was this blue flash and there was this s-scream a-and I woke up here?”
“What’s your name” the yellow mare asked in a kindly sympathetic tone.
“Roseluck”
“Well Roseluck I’m Spitfire and my irritable companion here is Trixie.”
The sound of snuffling came from the opposite end of the bed as Berry Punch re-emerged into the land of the living among a cascade of empty bottles that adorned her side of the bed.
“Sup Lucky” the bleary eyed mare asked as she just barely managed to drape herself across Spitfire in an aborted attempt to reach her friend.
“You don’t look good Berry”
Roseluck’s voice wavered slightly as her timid nature overrode her curiosity.
“Nah m’fine Lucky, just need something to wake me up is all.”
All three mares tossed their eyes in unison as their companion smiled at no pony in particular.
The moment of shared mirth ended as through the nearest window sailed a large rock followed by the shouting of an angry sounding stallion.
“Trixie and her accomplices we know y’all are in there! Come out with your hooves up or by Luna we’ll burn you out.”
Braeburn stood somewhat confidently as his posse surrounded the house, the town librarian Twilight Sparkle and Braeburn’s Ponyville cousin Applejack beside him were open mouthed shocked at his uncharacteristic threat of violence.
Trixie and Spitfire made it to the window at the same time gingerly peaking out before ducking another projectile, slumped under the windowsill they shared a look of ‘not again’ before Spitfire just had to ask.
“Who’s the idiot in the hat and cape? Looks like a unicorn do you know her by any chance so we can talk to some pony with sense?”
Trixie’s face darkened as she took another glance out the window, forced to duck again her whole demeanor changed as her eyes were consumed with incandescent rage and magical blue death.
“I take it that’s a yes?”
Spitfire backed away slowly as Trixie worked herself into a frenzy almost breathing blue flames as she built to a crescendo,
“Mine… Those are MINE YOU WHORSE!!!”
Spitfire dragged Berry Punch from the bed and stopped to coach Roseluck out from underneath it where she was now hiding from the scary blue mare,
“Trixie come on before they torch the place!”
The blue mare ignored her instead building a vortex of power around herself that lit the entire room with blue fury.
“Trixie! Please! I can’t do this alone.”
The infuriated magician slowly deflated, her magic dissolved as with tears in her eyes she turned to the stunned Wonderbolt and just nodded before dejectedly moving towards the door.
As Spitfire tried to find something to say the first fiery projectile flew through the window landing next to the corner of the bed, Trixie ignored this and simply picked Berry off of Spitfire and pulled a hyperventilating Roseluck out from underneath the bed with her magic and floated them out the door.
Spitfire took one last look into the room and at the bed now rapidly beginning to burn before following Trixie,
“So what do we do now? I think your cow-ponies lost it.”
“No idea” Trixie replied as Spitfire wracked her brain for a way out.
The blue mare halted, looked thoughtful then spoke “If I…”