Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home


Why We Laugh (Surprise): Facing Reality

Surprise didn’t know what she had expected to feel. The empty knot of bile and anger just rolled nauseously in her stomach as she stood in front of the monster who had taken everything from her. He just stood there, looking angry at the world. Like somehow he was the one who had been betrayed.

“I don’t care what any of you think,” Stormy Night spat on the cold stone floor of his cell, “I saw a monster chasing a little filly and I did my job. If I see a manticore chasing a foal am I supposed to stop and make sure they’re not just playing tag? Just because you want to call a monster your husband doesn’t make him not a monster. It just makes you some freak who turned her tail up for a monster.”

“Do you really think my husband was the monster?” Surprise’s voice was cold, “Do you really think you’re some kind of hero?”

“I did my job!” the guard snarled, “Maybe I made a mistake, but I don’t belong in a cage like some kind of criminal. Pony’s shacking up with monsters, humans, goats, that’s what’s the real problem. You damned sun-pony’s call us monsters! But look at you, shacked up with two changelings and whatever that… thing was!”

“Do you remember a changeling named, ‘Moon Phase’?” the pony in the cell flinched a little in recognition.

“What’s that slut got to do with anything? I turned a blind eye for her, back when changelings could get in a lot of trouble just for being here, and she’s gonna jump in and talk trash too? Where is she? Too cowardly to say whatever lies she's telling to my face,” the belligerent pony sulked.

“She’s my daughter,” Surprise growled, “And she’s twelve.”

“Wha- no way! Whatever else you damned sun ponies want to railroad me with, I ain’t no damned foal-fooler!” the lunar stallion protested vehemently.

“So we finally found something you’re actually ashamed of?” Dream Catcher said from behind surprise.

“Ashamed? It’s not my fault some changeling tart tricked me! I thought…” the stallion stammered only to be cut off.

“That’s what I just can’t understand,” Surprise said sadly, “It’s always not your fault. You took advantage of a frightened, starving changeling so you could slay make believe dragons and then make her tell you how brave you were. And it’s not your fault, why? Because you didn’t know she was a foal? You were a monster pretending to be a hero! Just like you were the night you took away my Charlie! But you were never the hero. Do you hear me? You were never anything but a monster!”

“Yeah, us bat ponies are all monsters ain’t we, sunshine,” the pony just laid down and closed his eyes.

“No,” Surprise fought to keep her composure, “Just you. And they’re going to drag you into court in chains and everypony is going to see you for the monster you are. And you can lie to yourself all you want, but everypony is going to see you!”

“We should go miss,” Dreamcatcher gently motioned for the mare to leave, “Whatever you're looking for, you’re not going to get it from him. In the end the best we can do is just keep him from hurting anypony else.”

“I just can’t understand how anypony be so…” Surprise shuddered as they departed.

-=-=-=-=-

“Sister,” Luna quietly approached her older sibling, “Am I a bad pony?”

“Luna!” Celestia wrapped her little sister in a hasty embrace, “Don’t even think like that. Is this about what that filly said? You shouldn’t take her words to heart. She is young and she is hurting. She lost somepony very dear to her and she said words in haste and anger that…”

“That were right,” Luna bowed her head, “What she said… everything she said, it was all true. That dream world… by all accounts it is a nightmare. I let my own guard run shamefully awry. I turned a blind eye to their every abuse.”

“This was no lack of discipline you could have prevented sister,” Celestia soothed, “This was an evil act performed by an evil pony. There was nothing you could have done.”

“That is kind of you to say, sister,” Luna closed her eyes and nuzzled into her sister’s soft fur, “But it doesn’t make that filly’s words less true. I let a monster into my guard. And because of it an innocent pony… a good pony is dead because of that. And then the spectacle I caused at his funeral…”

“Was not your fault,” Celestia wished she could get through to her sister.

“No sister,” Luna insisted, “Even if there was nothing I could have done to prevent the murder, surely I should have realized what kind of spectacle my appearance would cause.”

“It was a regrettable decision, yes,” the Princess of the sun admitted, “But you intended no malice. You went to a funeral to express your condolences. It is not your fault that other ponies took advantage of your presence simply to seen in the presence of royalty. They were the ones who disrupted the funeral, Luna, not you.”

“I treated that poor creature like a criminal from the moment he arrived,” Luna continued her confession unabated, “He shouldn’t have even been at his bakery that night. He should have been on a train with his family.”

“You took precautions,” Celestia gently corrected, “As did I. He was under constant surveillance by both my day guard and Fast Change’s changeling guard.”

“Fast Change was having him watched as well?” Luna asked in surprise.

“Don’t sound so surprised, sister,” Celestia laughed softly, “She is very protective of her little changelings.”

“But I thought he was well liked within the hive?” Luna countered.

“Perhaps he was was well liked because they had watched him,” Celestia nodded sagely, “They watched him and they saw what kind of pony he was. As did my guard.”

“Where as my guard only ever saw a hulking beast to defend against,” Luna saw her sister began to speak and quickly interrupted, “No, sister, on this point I must remain firm. This is hardly the first instance of intolerance within their ranks. This may be the actions of only a single wicked pony as you say, but it was the prejudice and lack of discipline that allowed such a fiend to hide within the ranks in the first place.”

“You are not incorrect, I am afraid,” Celestia frowned, “I think what is important at this point is that you make sure they know it as well. They have broken a trust placed in them, and they are going to have to work hard if they’re ever going to regain that trust.”