//------------------------------//
// Amber the Unicorn: Bloomberg's Bad Romance 
// Story: Amber the Unicorn series 
// by Amber 
//------------------------------//


Amber the Unicorn: "Bloomberg's Bad Romance"


It was a hot, sunny day on Sweet Apple Acres. Amber, the orange, brown-maned unicorn was just resting under an apple tree (which wasn't just a tree, as we'll soon find out) after a long, busy day of resting when she saw Spike running towards her. The pony got on her hooves at the strange sight. "He looks relaxed", she thought.
- Hey Spike - she stomped the ground as she greeted him. - What's up, you jumping chupacabra?
- Amber, I... - he panted, exhausted from the long run - I love my 3D glasses. They're exciting.
"Is he talking about these glasses? Wow", thought the pony. She was fascinated and intrigued at the same time.
- I'm so glad to hear this - Amber smiled at him. - Have you heard about the cucumbers?
- Cucumbers? The shy ones or the evil ones? - the little dragon frowned.
- The shy ones - explained the unicorn. - I heard they took over Canterlot and trapped Celestia in a cage for elephants... I also wonder why has Luna turned into a parasprite... It looks like Fluttershade's at it again.
The purple dragon didn't reply. He started break-dancing instead. Seeing that, Amber crossed her eyes and used magic to pick Spike up and put him on the top of Bloomberg's - the tree she was sleeping under - branches.
- HEE HEE! - Bloomberg giggled. - What the hell am I looking at? - his bass voice was loud, deep and strong.
- Dude, that's not how you spell 'tea pot' - Spike shrugged.
- Spike... I love you as much as I love my lady pumpkins - the tree said loudly, but softly, suddenly falling in a romantic mood.
- D'awwwww! - Silverspoon, who suddenly fell from the sky, almost shed tears of joy while watching that heartwarming scene. Bloomberg sighed deeply.
However, Amber, who's been watching all this with great interest, didn't seem pleased.
- Spike, you dirty narwhal! - she yelled. - Back off from my husband!
Then her anger turned into sorrow. She rounded her arms around Bloomberg’s trunk, sobbing loudly.
- Bloomie, my darling!... - she whispered through tears. - But how?... HOW?!... How could you betray me like that...
The tree suddenly jumped, making Amber flinch with astonishment. Meanwhile, somewhere in Cloudstale, Rainbow Dash was dancing can-can, but that's a different story.
- AW YEHAW BABOONS! - Spike shouted joyfully, swinging his hands in all possible directions while falling down from the tree. He landed with a huge crash. A huge bruise appeared on his head.
- Ooooh, maaan, isn't that a sexy bruise I've got! - the dragon started intensively kissing the bruise with passion.
Suddenly, he felt a painful jab on his back. He turned his head around. It was Bloomberg, with his branches akimbo, poking him. He seemed upset.
- Sorry, Bergie. I think I've got a new, prettier lover - the purple dragon winked, grinning.
- Ouuuuuuuoooooo! - yelled the tree with uncontrolled fury. - ARRARRRGH! You're doomed! You're all doomed!
- That's nice! - Silverspoon noticed.
Bloomberg started dancing flamenco, expressing his hate towards ponies and dragons.
- Ready for a Pokémon battle, you weakling? - Amber challenged the naughty tree.
- NAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! NAAAHRRRR!
The tree's desperate scream was so loud that it disorganized the rules of time and space and opened a portal to the future. It caused the moon to crash onto Earth. An apocalypse began, but unfortunately, Spike, Silverspoon and Amber didn't have the pleasure to see it as they all were already banished to Mars. They all became ornithologists and started a new life on a new colony on a new planet.



(Everyone: Awwww! Is this how it all finished? It can't be!
Me: Don't worry, there's more to come, but until then -)

THE END