Mmmm … how long have I been out. Where am I … and why is it so cramped in here?
“RISE AND SHINE!” Pinkie Pie points her party cannon out the window of her loft above Sugar Cube Corner and fires the coyote into the air; he lands in a crumpled pile in the middle of the road. Sore all over, the coyote gets to his feet and shakes off the feelings of pain and confusion; at the same time, Rainbow Dash flies in from above.
“You must have been exhausted after that train trip; you crashed right in Pinkie’s place right after walking in.”
Crashed? I fell asleep? Strange, I didn’t feel tired. What happened after I got back. Think back … met Pinkie Pie in her loft, she was reading a book, we started talking about—
Dash interrupts the coyote’s train of thought: “You OK?”
“Sorry, didn’t realize it was morning already.” The coyote looks up. “And as it appears that I was just blown out of a confetti cannon, it’s probably best not to dwell on last night any more.
“Glad to hear it. Applejack harvested a good haul yesterday and could use some help transporting all the produce to market.”
“Yeah … sure thing. Just point me in the right direction; I’m still a little woozy. And hard of hearing.”
* * * *
Applejack and the coyote are pulling a pair of produce-laden wagons to market. One of the two is having a harder time of things than the other.
“Greatly appreciate the help … but you struggle more than Apple Bloom when it comes to pullin’ wagons.”
“I’ll be sure to hit the gym at some point,” the coyote replies. “Um, does Ponyville have a gym?”
“I know a pegasus who just might be able to help, if’n you want it. He works at the spa that Rarity frequents.”
“Good to know.” I think.
“Anyway, we’re here. Thanks again.”
Applejack and the coyote reach the market area and unhitch themselves from the wagons.
“You think you might do better at sellin’ fruit versus pullin’ it?”
“Would you buy food from a coyote you never met?”
Applejack shoots the coyote a curious glance. “I don’t see why that would have anything to do with things. You’re not the only non-pony in town, you know.”
“So far I’ve seen a baby dragon assistant, a married donkey couple, a zebra who lives in the woods, and a mule. To say nothing about me not being from this world.”
“You still goin’ on about that. Look here: it’s not about what you are. It’s about what you do. You just gotta figure out some special talent to offer the town, and you’ll do fine.”
“If you’re referring to those … ‘cutie marks’ …” that still feels awkward to say out loud … “… remember that I’m not destined to be getting one.”
“You sound just like my little sister did. Anyway, if you’re gonna be like that, maybe you shouldn’t try sellin’ produce. Why don’t you just take a walk around for a bit and clear your head. From what Rainbow Dash told me, you had a long day yesterday.”
“Fair point. I’ll be back when you’re done here. Should be easier to get the empty wagons back.”
“Don’t forget, I need to pick up some construction supplies before heading back to the farm. Upkeep doesn’t just happen, you know.”
“You know an alicorn who possesses the ability to fix everything up by magic, right?”
Applejack gets agitated at the suggestion. “Do you know how friendship works? ‘Cause friendship doesn’t mean askin’ your friends for ev’ry little thing. Besides, we prefer gettin’ stuff done the old-fashioned way, without magic. It’s been workin’ for us ever since Granny Smith helped found this town.”
“OK OK, you made your point. Didn’t mean to cause an argument or anything.”
“Apology accepted. Looks like I got customers, if you’ll excuse me.”
Applejack begins to ply her wares as the coyote walks away. His legs carry him past the spa, and he spots Rarity and Fluttershy leaving the premises. The former warmly greets the coyote.
“Well ‘good morning’ to you Coyotek. What brings you to this area?”
The coyote sighs. “Oh, nothing in particular. Just wandering around, taking everything in.”
“Well you seem out of sorts. Why don’t you go in for a session yourself; they’ll treat you right.”
“Spa? Me? I’m sorry, I’m not the ‘spa’ type.”
“Oh, everypony can be the ‘spa’ type. You just have to give it a shot. I find the treatment most invigorating; it helps me seize the day; it inspires me to create.”
“It’s also very relaxing,” Fluttershy timidly adds.
“I dunno …”
“Well if nothing else, it can help clear the cobwebs out of your head. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have inspiration in my head and need to get designs laid out before it disappears.”
“And I’ve got animals waiting for me back home. Take care.”
The two ponies head off, leaving the coyote alone in front of the spa.
Maybe a clearer mind can help me think of some way to contribute to this world. I guess it can’t hurt to at least take a look … wait, Applejack mentioned that someone works here who specializes in weight training. I wonder if this place is a combo spa-gym. Maybe there just isn’t much demand for gyms here.
The coyote heads into the spa and walks up to the front desk. A pony is there to greet him.
“Hello, my name is Aloe. I haven’t seen you here before. First time?”
Guess I’ll hear that a lot. “Yes, it is. Um … I heard that someone here might be able to help me with weight-training.”
Aloe is excited by the request. “Oh my. Why I don’t believe we’ve had anypony ask for Bulk before.”
“Well how about ‘anycoyote’?” The coyote chuckles half-heartedly, while Aloe shows no emotion to the comment. “Yeah, well …”
“Straight down the hall, then take a right, and it’s the third door on the left,” Aloe instructs. “I believe he’s currently giving a muscle massage, but he should be done in just a bit.”
The coyote follows Aloe’s directions, and he soon finds himself in a small room with various weightlifting equipment. Not much of a gym; guess there isn’t much demand. I suppose I shouldn’t expect much for a guy who works in a massage parlor. Probably some svelte pony who focuses on tone.
The door bursts open, and a large, white horse with tiny pegasus wings stands at the doorway. “YOU WANNA LIFT WEIGHTS!!?”
… Ohdeargawd …
“Uh … I could, uh, stand to gain some muscle …”
“ALL RIGHT!!! I’M BULK BICEPS; LET’S GET YOU SOME DUMBBELLS!!!”
* * * *
Hours later, the coyote walks slowly out of the spa, his legs trembling with each step. He collapses to the dirt road just as the CMCs stroll by.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” Scootaloo asks.
“Total … body … workout …”
Apple Bloom is giddy at the news: “Hey, it looks like Bulk Biceps got a customer!”
“He must be so thrilled,” adds Sweetie Belle.
I’m sooo happy for him.
“So what got you to see Bulk?” Scootaloo asks.
“I thought I’d … clear my head …”
Apple Bloom inspects the coyote. “By killing your body?”
“Hey … so I’m a little … out of … shape …”
Sweetie Belle feels compelled to ask: “Apple Bloom, exactly how is he helping on the farm?”
“Well he doesn’t get in the way or anything. Mostly, he keeps me company when you two aren’t around.”
“Seriously, Coyotek, you can’t just lie on the ground here,” Scootaloo scolds.
The coyote strains to get back on his feet. “I’ll be … fine. Just needed … a few minutes. I’m good now … I think.”
Sweetie Belle now asks: “So why would you need to clear your head, anyway?”
“Well … as it looks like I’ll be here for a while, I really need to find something to do with my life.”
“Well that shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Apple Bloom, did you forget how long it took us to get our cutie marks?”
“This isn’t about us, Scootaloo.”
Sweetie Belle continues: “So what do you feel passionate about?”
“Honestly? I have no idea. I’m still adjusting to being here. Haven’t had time to think about much more than getting through the day.”
“You could be anypony … er, anyone you want,” Scootaloo offers.
“Could I?” …
Could I have been, a pastry chef assistant
Could I have been, a soaring pegasus
Could I have been, lost somewhere in Canterlot
Could I have been, your kid brother
Could I have been, tending carrot gardens
Could I have been, selling gems for lumber
Could I have been, anyone other than me
Could I have been, anyone …
I walk all around town, fur is matted, tongue is dangling
Could I have been a magical raccoon? Could I have been anyone other than me? Then I …
Look up at the sky, and look around,
and I think, what’s my reason for being
what’s my reason for dealing
with all that’s happening to me …
. . .
“… You’re no Pinkie Pie,” asserts Sweetie Belle.
“You’re no Cheese Sandwich, either,” adds Scootaloo.
“Maybe you should stick to non-singing monologues,” suggests Apple Bloom.
Everyfoal’s a critic.
“Is there anything you do enjoy? I hope it’s not singing.”
“Or bodybuilding.”
“Or workin’ on the farm.”
“I guess ‘spa’ stuff isn’t your thing either.”
I GET IT! So … what do I enjoy …
The coyote mulls ideas over, before … “Well … I like puzzles.”
“You mean, like jigsaw puzzles?” Apple Bloom inquires.
“No, I like logic puzzles.”
The threesome look at each other with confusion. Scootaloo asks, “What’s a logic puzzle?”
The coyote ponders for a moment. “OK, here’s an example. In the distant reaches of Equestria, there are two villages, Unitown and Pegatown.”
“I never heard of those places,” Apple Bloom remarks.
“I’m just making up names for the villages; they’re not real. Anyway … the unicorns from Unitown tell the truth and the pegasi from Unitown lie.”
Scootaloo protests: “Hey, I don’t lie!”
“This is just hypothetical.”
“Hippo-what?”
“Hypothetical. That just means I’m making it up for the purpose of the puzzle.”
“… I guess.”
The coyote continues. “Meanwhile, the pegasi from Pegatown tell the truth and the unicorns from Pegasi lie.”
Now Sweetie Belle protests: “Hey!”
“It’s just hippo-thetical,” Scootaloo reminds the unicorn foal.
“… OK.”
“What about earth ponies?” Apple Bloom inquires.
“They could tell the truth or lie, but for this puzzle it doesn’t matter. Now then: while walking towards their villages, you come across a unicorn and a pegasus. Each comes from one of the two towns.”
Scootaloo innocently asks, “How do you know they’re not just visiting inlaws?”
“For the sake of this puzzle, just assume they’re each from one of the two towns.”
“I like visiting my inlaws,” Apple Bloom remarks, “though we usually just have ‘em over at our place for special occasions.”
“In any case: The unicorn says ‘Both of us are from the same village,’, and the pegasus says ‘No, we’re not.’ Which village does each of them come from?”
There is a pause, before Sweetie Belle asks: “… That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
Scootaloo then asks, “So, we’re supposed to know which town each of them is from.”
“You can deduce it. That’s what makes this a logic puzzle.”
The three foals go silent for another minute. Suddenly, Apple Bloom responds excitedly:
“I got it! They’re both from Unitown!”
“How would you know that?” Scootaloo asks.
“Since the two contradict each other, one must be lying and the other must be telling the truth.”
“OK, I see that,” Sweetie Belle concurs. Apple Bloom continues:
“Since one is a unicorn and one is a pegasus, they must be from the same village. If they agreed with each other, they would have to be from different villages.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nod in agreement. Apple Bloom concludes:
“Since they’re from the same town, the unicorn told the truth. That means the unicorn is from Unitown, and so is the pegasus.”
The coyote is impressed. “Excellently done, Apple Bloom! You solved it!”
“That was pretty cool,” Apple Bloom admits.
“Pretty simple, too,” Sweetie Belle adds.
“Oh, it can get much harder. It all depends on the puzzle.”
“Well, it was OK, I guess,” Scootaloo states. “Don’t think I’d use ‘cool’ to describe it, though.”
Apple Bloom notes a clock hanging from a nearby storefront. “Hey, look at the time. I got dance lessons soon.”
“I gotta go, too,” Sweetie Belle admits. Scootaloo echoes the sentiment.
“See you both at school tomorrow.”
The three CMCs go their separate ways, leaving the coyote alone.
Well that was a fun diversion. Guess I should get back to the market to help Applejack with the wagons … *oof* … if I can.
* * * *
The next morning finds the coyote trying his paws at apple bucking … with little success.
“Face facts, Coyotek. You just don’t have the legs for buckin’.”
“Hey, I did get one apple out of the tree. That counts for something, right?”
At a nearby tree, Big MacIntosh bucks a tree and causes three buckets to overflow with apples.
“I know, I know … ‘nnnope!’ “
The brother-sister combo chuckle. They make it look so dang easy, too.
Before the coyote can take another kick at the tree, Apple Bloom comes racing up to them. “Coyotek! You gotta come to the school!”
Apple Bloom’s pleas worry her sister. “What’s goin’ on? Is everything OK?”
“Miss Cheerilee caught the pony pox. She’s gonna be out for a few days. We need a substitute.”
Wait, she means me?
“I’ve never taught before. I wouldn’t know where to start. Heck, I’m not even a pony.”
“Miss Cheerilee left plans for in case she got sick,” Apple Bloom reassures the coyote.
“But then why me? Why not some other pony?”
“Everypony else in town’s got other stuff to do. Besides, in case you get stuck, you could always share more of those puzzles.”
“But … well I guess I could … aren’t I needed on the farm?”
Applejack and Big Mac are quick with their unison response: “Nnnope!”
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
“I guess I can try. Lead the way.”
…
Minutes later, Apple Bloom and the coyote are at the school. A number of other foals are standing around the entrance.
“Everypony,” Apple Bloom announces, “I found us a substitute for Miss Cheerilee. At least until she gets better.”
The other foals murmur to each other in confusion. Soon, a purple filly speaks up.
“He’s going to be our teacher? He’s not even a pony!”
“Well-spotted, miss …”
“Diamond Tiara. So what are you then?”
The coyote smiles as he responds: “Biologically, I’m a coyote. In truth, I’m new to this town. And for today anyway, I’m your teacher.”
“So now what do we do?” Sweetie Belle innocently asks.
Good question … what would Cheerilee do in my position …
“Let’s start with a little ‘arts and crafts’ project …”
* * * *
The chiming of the bell signifies the end of the school day, but an unexpected visitor shows up before anypony is able to leave. The crowd of foals shouts in unison: “MISS CHEERILEE!!!”
“I see you still had class today,” their regular teacher replies. “That’s wonderful.”
Apple Bloom runs up to her teacher. “Miss Cheerilee, we have a surprise for you.”
The rest of the class motions to a corner of the classroom, where a large ‘Get Well Soon’ poster adorned with lace, glitter, and many small hoofprints sits for the recipient. Cheerilee is overjoyed, if not speechless.
“Why, this is incredible! Thank you all so very much!”
The class then files out, with most foals giving their regular teacher a big hug. Soon, all that remain in the room are Cheerilee, the CMCs, and the substitute for the day.
“So how are you feeling, Miss Cheerilee?” Sweetie Belle asks.
“Much better now. It wasn’t the pony pox after all, just a mild cold. I should be fine for tomorrow.”
Cheerilee turns to the coyote. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met.”
“My name is Coyotek. I moved here about a week ago. Apple Bloom suggested I fill in for you today.”
“Well from what I’ve seen, it looks like she chose well.”
“Well, to be fair, we really spent most of the day on the poster. And the rest of the time was spent with me giving puzzles to the class.”
“Puzzles?”
“They’re logic puzzles,” Scootaloo offers. “They’re a little weird, but they really make you think.”
“Yeah, I kinda like them,” Sweetie Belle adds, “even if I don’t get all the answers right.”
Apple Bloom cannot help but admit, “I got all the answers right.” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle give Apple Bloom a disapproving glare for that comment.
“Well it sounds like you really struck a chord with the little ponies. Perhaps you’d like to pop in from time to time with more of these puzzles.”
“Uh, sure, sounds great. It’ll keep me busy while I figure out how to make my presence known around here.”
Apple Bloom corrects the coyote: “Looks to me like you already have.”
Huh. Maybe she’s right about that.
Cheerilee’s curiousity is piqued. “So, could you give me an example of one of these ‘logic puzzles’?”
“Yeah, sure, I’d love to. So anyway: In the distant reaches of Equestria, there are two villages, Unitown and Pegatown.”
“You really have to come up with better names for villages,” Scootaloo reminds the coyote.
Hey, it’s a work in progress!
“Anyway, the unicorns from Unitown tell the truth and the pegasi from Unitown lie. Meanwhile in Pegatown …”