Interlude: Breaking News!
ROYAL INQUIRY INTO CRIMINAL ENTERPRISES TO OFFICIALLY BEGIN
An announcement made by the head of the official sub-committee of organized criminal activity announced that there will be an official royal inquiry into the rampant criminality that the city has faced in the last year. There have been rumors for decades of an underground cabal of ponies inside the city who have been in control of most illegal activity that happens here as well as in the other major metropolitan areas of our great nation.
The committee says that they are looking to prove a connection between seemingly random crimes throughout the city and tie them into a citywide conspiracy of corruption and control. Just last year alone there were over 350 murders inside Canterlot’s city limits. Most of these were either drug or robbery related and, until now, thought to be the work of either lone criminals or possibly at worst a small time operation of ponies together.
The murder rate has doubled over the last two years in the city and has seen a steady rise in both Manehattan and Fillydelphia as well. Public outcry for the princess and her royal guard to make a statement regarding these heinous crimes has steadily risen since a shooting at a nightclub last year, dubbed at the time as “The Hearthswarming Eve Massacre” took the lives of over 30 innocents.
The announcement also specifically points a hoof at some lower ranking nobles, including former Cantelot city treasurer Knick Knack, who had been in office for almost twenty years and has won five consecutive elections by a landslide. We reached out to his office for a statement but none was received.
Time will tell what the future will hold for the sub-committee and if their belief that the murder and mayhem that has been happening is all connected. We will keep our readers informed of any breaking information as it occurs….
LOCAL GOVERNMENT AGENT FOUND DEAD
The body of long-time CSIU agent and former Lieutenant in Celestia’s royal guard, a 37-year-old pegasus named Earth Song, was found in his car yesterday evening by members of the city guard. While the official cause of death has been noted as a self-inflicted gunshot wound, the guard said that they would be investigating for any signs of foul play. A statement by the Royal Guard and signed by Celestia herself was released after the body was found on Friday morning.
In it, they expressed their condolences to his wife and two children. The statement said that Earth Song was “the pride of his platoon” and “a shining example of loyalty and integrity in the royal guard”. They went on to say that, pending further investigation into his death, if there were any signs of a homicide that all those involved would be found and swiftly brought to justice.
Some ponies have speculated that his death may have been related to criminal activities. An undisclosed source within the CSIU has told us that he was under an internal investigation for evidence tampering in a case that they had been building against an unknown gang affiliate. We approached the CSIU for an official comment but our attempts were unsuccessful.
This hasn’t been the first time that a member of the royal guard has taken their own lives. Just four months ago we ran a piece on the rising suicide rates among members of her majesty’s royal protectors…..
FIRST INDICTMENTS HANDED OUT IN QUICKLY EXPANDING CORRUPTION CASE
Lower members of the royal houses were called into court the day after Canterlot’s yearly Running of the Leaves festival yesterday afternoon to face corruption charges, in one of the first major cases of corruption in over 20 years. Various ponies were called to account for discrepancies in bank accounting and reports. It’s alleged that members of the Holden, Vanhoofington and Knack families have been misappropriating funds given to them in the form of taxes on their land holdings as well as both offering and accepting bribes and even, in the case of Knick Knack from the Knack family, election rigging.
While no one from the Holden or Vanhoofington families were willing to offer a statement, we were able to get a statement from Knick Knack himself. Our resident field reporter, Cool Breeze, caught up with him outside of the county courthouse earlier yesterday morning where he made an official statement to various reporters.
“All of the allegations against me are bold-faced lies perpetrated by other houses that are trying to bring mine down. Unlike them, I’m not going to throw out any names, but I will say that they know what they are doing and they won’t get away from it. They also know that I can play this game just as well as they can, and I’ll win. There are plenty of old-money families who have been around for centuries. They are nothing but puff-shirts who sit in their ivory towers and look down on others from above.”
He continued. "They hate me because I made my fortune and my success on my own. My father was a toaster-salespony who didn’t have two bits to rub together. I made my own way in the world and every piece of land, business or title that I have I earned for myself legitimately. I didn’t ride off of the backs of my ancestors and I wasn’t born into a world of lace and gold. I fought for every single bit that I have earned and I will continue to fight for it. This charges hold no water and once they are dismissed I plan on using everything I have at my disposal to take this right back to those who conspired against me.”
Someone had then asked what he had thought about the allegations that the special subcommittee that was set up earlier in the year had about him being a part of a city-wide conspiracy that included both murder and racketeering. He responded only with a scoff, calling it “Just more mudslinging by those who would like to see me lose my power, no matter how much mud they have to drag my family’s name through to achieve it.”
While this isn’t the first time that officials in positions of relative power have been indicted, it is the first time in recent memory of an incident of this scale and proportion. If evidence does point to an actual conspiracy of murderers and thieves being in-cahoots with those in power it will be an unprecedented event in Equestrian political history. We will keep our devoted readers updated on the trial as it progresses.
THE HEARTHSWARMING EVE MASSACRE: ONE YEAR LATER
It’s hard to believe that an entire year has passed since one of the most brutal and deadly non-military attacks in the city’s history occurred at a nightclub in the heart of downtown. The ruthless and bloody massacre that occurred last Hearthswarming even had an official death toll of 36 and over 200 injuries. It has been the subject of both swarms of controversy (for Canterlot’s seemingly lax weapon policy) and morbid fascination (a book entitled “The Night I’ll Never Forget” written by a survivor was published last month and has become a smash success) by ponies from all over Equestria and it’s not hard to imagine why.
Such an act of brutality upon innocent civilians had been considered unthinkable until then, especially considering the holiday that it fell on. What was considered our holiest of days, when our three tribes came together as one to found a new nation, was marred by wanton acts of bloodshed.
Just after midnight at “The Hop!” an (at the time) fledgling put popular night club, a group of masked robbers burst through the doors with automatic weapons and opened fire on the crowd. The shooting itself only lasted for about four minutes but over five-hundred rounds were fired in that time. When the dust settled all that was left were the screams and cries of the victims as they called out for help while bleeding out on the dance floors and under tables.
Our reporter caught up with the owners of the establishment, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Melody, who were also somewhat considered local heroes by some after defending the club and saving the lives of quite a few of the occupants before a high speed race to the hospital on ice almost ended in disaster for both of them. We wanted to see their take on what had happened and see how the place was holding together towards the one-year anniversary.
Vinyl, a white unicorn mare with electric blue hair, did most of the talking at first, and she had quite a lot to say. (The following contains some offensive language and disturbing imagery, but out of respect for what they did to save their patrons we present it to you completely un-edited.)
“I was chatting up a nice couple at the bar who had come straight from the founders play when the shit all started going down.” Vinyl told our reporter as she lit a cigarette.
“They just came in and started shooting. I’ve never been in the military or nothin’ like that but I grew up in the streets and I’ve always had an instinct when it came to protecting myself. I grabbed the shotgun that we kept below the bar and started firing back at them as quickly as I could to try and save as many of our customers as possible.”
Our reporter then asked her if she was afraid. She didn’t respond with words, she simply shook her head. Her partner Octavia, a grey earth pony, cut in then.
“I was certainly scared. I had never seen madness and chaos at that level before in my entire life. I grabbed my friend and flipped over a table for protection. She had a small handgun in her purse, which we used to fire back at the attackers. When Vinyl was shot though, I went into an instinctual mode as well.”
Vinyl then picked the story back up.
“I could never have how much being shot would hurt.” She said with a chuckle.
She pointed to a patch of missing fur just above her barrel. “They got me right here.” She said.
“Bastards almost killed me.” She continued, putting her cigarette out. She then put her hoof over her friend’s shoulder.
“If it wasn’t for Tavi here I would have bled right out on the floor with the rest of them. She saved my life that night for sure, as well as the lives of multiple others when took out two of those creeps. She scooped me up off of the floor and drove me on the ice all the way to the hospital. She even crashed into the damn building just to get me their faster.”
Octavia flashed a barely noticeable blush and gave a light chuckle before saying. “I couldn’t just let you die like that, we had a lot of work to do still and I wasn’t going to do it without you.”
When asked how their business had been recovering since the shooting they both responded positively.
“Ponies never stopped coming once we got back up and running.” Octavia told us. “Whether it was out of morbid curiosity or just a genuine like of our club and the way we do things here I can’t say. I can say however that we’ve done so well since then that we’re going to be opening a new location starting at the beginning of the new year if everything goes according to plan.”
At that point the evening had come and ponies were starting to file in so the reporter bid them farewell. However, before he left they took him to the bar and showed him the plaque that was made to honor the victims that would be placed above the bar. It was gold and had a picture of the three founders engraved on it with the text “To those who passed on the eve of our most treasured holiday here, you will never be forgotten” followed by a list of all of the names of the victims.
The club had an odd charm despite being the location for such horrible violence and the reporter found the owners to be quite charming themselves, if a little reserved. He fully understood why though. Most ponies never see so many awful things in their lifetimes, let alone all at once, and live to tell about it. He salutes them for carrying on in the name of the victims of the tragedy and wishes them well in their future ventures and the opening of their second club. Read back again tomorrow when we interview five survivors of the incident and try to piece together the exact events of what happened on that fateful night through their shared experiences….