//------------------------------// // On Your Marks // Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by keaton-furman-prower //------------------------------// Dear Apple Bloom: You know, if you're searching for meaning in your life, you could always come work with me. I could teach you to have so much fun with the citizens of Equestria! Sincerely, Princess Celestia. Dear Cutie Markers: Are you looking for new things to do with your lives now that you've gotten your snazzy new butt stickers? I have tons of ideas! You should totally join me sometime! Your best buddy, Discord. Dear Sweetie Belle: I really liked the costumes you made. They were really nice. I wanted to tell you in pony, but my mom tells me I have to stay in the background unless I want to get arrested. I think that's stupid, but I can't do anything about it. Your best buddy, Button Mash. P.S.: She even made me dye my mane and coat. I have no idea what's going on. Help! Dear Tender Taps: I'm glad that you've made friends with my sister. But you'd better keep your distance if you know what's good for you. I know what you little colts think whenever you see cute fillies. Applejack, protective big sister. Dear Applejack: Are those the same things Big Mac thinks whenever he's anywhere near you? You know what? I don't care. The fact is, I have my cutie mark now, so I'm old enough to make my own decisions. So fuck off. Your irritated younger sister, Apple Bloom. P.S.: You might not want to go anywhere near my bed for the next couple of weeks. Dear Apple Bloom and Tender Taps: We have two open positions in our modeling studio. I think you two would be perfect. ~Tree Hugger Dear Tree Hugger: Well, I do need money, and I need a place where Applejack isn't spying on everything I do... I'll consider it. ~Apple Bloom Dear Apple Bloom: What did you say about me and art? Your loyal yet somewhat worried friend, Tender Taps.