“What are we going to do with her Celestia?” inquired twilight.
Her rainbow mane tickled her nose, causing a ruffled sigh. “Well. The regular jails and prisons are rife with rather crude ponies. It’s not that she’s been extremely bad or evil per say, but I fear if we put her in one of the regular prisons, she’ll be assaulted by one of thoes unsavory types.”
“Are we going to let her free? I mean, Princess, she broke the law!”
“Hmm.” She eyed the dark tan colored pegasus in her magic. “What is your name, I wonder?”
Doing a slow flip in the aura; she said, “My name is Kelpto StickyHooves, your Highness. I’m rather dashing wouldn’t you say? …From the scene of the crime anyway. It’d be awkward if I were hitting on you being a princess after all.” She gave a large smile.
Celestia gave a smile, a smile that hinted of a possible infatuation. “I’m flattered, maybe even wanting a relationship. I’d say that you’re pretty cute.”
“P-Princess?” Thankfully for Twilight’s sake, the mare shrunk back slightly from the encroaching Celestia.
Celestia tsked. “Well, a decent façade if I do say so myself. So Twilight, thinking what I’m thinking?”
“That we should make a new prison for unwanted relationship harassment to princesses?” Covering her mouth with a hoof she inaudibly murmured, “I get too much of that.”
Giving a blank stare with at confused look at Twilight, Celestia stood at her student’s idea. Logically it made sense, but with how often those came about it was negligible. In any case, she wouldn’t imprison a pony over their opinions. “MMMMmm, not exactly.”
“No, Twilight, I was thinking, Tartarus!”
The throne room became even more silent as the guards around the main entrance stopped breathing. The mare looked like she was about to release her bowels, and Twilight broke.
“Hello? Any pony?” No one spoke, or moved, or breathed, or anything. “Oh well,” Celestia thought. Drawing up magic into her horn, she ripped away at the boundaries of space to the Netherworld of Tartarus. Silently thanking Starswirl for such a spell, even a strangely put together one such as this, not to mention such a powerful spell, she paused in front of the gaping portal of flaming boundaries.
“Princess.. Please don’t send me to there.” Kelpto begged with tears starting to form in her eyes.
“You know. I really don’t want to. Promise you won’t steal anymore?”
One of the partial tears fell loose in hope, “I. I think I have kleptomania..”
“Excellent! I shall get a pony to sign you up with a therapist to diagnose you and then a psychiatrist for some medicine!” She clapped her hooves. “Here you go dear Twilight. I trust you know where the probationary office is?” She dropped Klepto onto her. “Out you go now!” A push of magic got her moving toward the door.
“Aaaaand. She’s gone.” The Princess magic’ed the door shut. “Well that was fun. I never thought Luna’s suggestion would be so apt; that thief’s been caught many times. Fear tactics do work even better in this century!”
Staring at the portal, she decided whether or not to have some fun. The way it shifted made it almost seem like it was staring back at her… Pshaw. What a thought. I suppose I could take an extended lunch break…
“One of you guards. Go to the kitchen and tell them to pack a basket with enough food for my lunch and to bring it back here.”
“This basket is stuffed! Are they trying to fatten me up? They’re not fast enough! I already eat enough cake for that.” Wings spread, she paused to tell the guards to hold down the ‘fort-castle thing’ for an hour. With a skip, a hop and a flap, she rocketed into the depth of Tartarus.
Scanning over the beefed up security, she confidently flew into the bright darkness towards a lava flow. A fast ten minute flight led her to her favourite place. From the ground on this mound, a large majority of flame could be seen in both fire and lava. The brimstone was intoxicating.
Placing her basket on a flat stone brought on a previous trip from Equestria, she took off her golden shoes and that thing on her chest which she never bothered to learn the proper name of.
“Oh yeah… that hits the spot…” She submerged herself in a small hot-tub like pool of lava. It was a slow moving cove of the river that continued on into an endless slope. “I should bring Twilight some time. She’d love this. Or maybe not; Luna’s thing is an underground mineral spring. Then again, I’m not sure if I’m the only pony who can safely relax in lava due to the whole sun thing….”
After having a few meetings with a stress advisor, more like a friendly psychologist, she had been suggested to find some time to distress. After trying this out recently before a visit, her psychologist had said how much better she was doing. So from that day forth, every few weeks to a month, she would come out to relax.
“Heh. The irony of relaxing in Tartarus.”
RRIIINGG! “I swear that egg timer moves faster in here. Or did I fall asleep?” Pondering for a moment, she shrugged and climbed out of the pool, flicking off small bits of lava. “Ugh. It’s too early to return to a place where Discord pops in at random, two or three times a week and flood a room with something or other.” Last week he filled the bathrooms, ALL of them with foam blocks.
Flying through her private portal, she stopped to sit on the throne whereupon her slightly slack guards tensed back up to their normal statuesque postures. “They need to lighten up a little. Meh, keeps every pony in line,” Celestia thought.
Her horn glowed with the intent to close the hole in space when a small voice tickled her ears. “Can you not do that for a moment? ..I like how it looks.”
Intent on figuring out how a colt, or what she assumed was a colt, had snuck into her throne room with her guards in position, she dropped he spell and looked around. To the left nothing. To the right nothing. Perhaps on the ceiling? No not there either.
A little annoyed but also highly curious, she stood and zipped behind the throne, yet there was nothing. Everything was in place: red carpet leading to throne, throne higher than the carpet, and guards at the front.
“Alright. I give. Where are you hiding, young one?”
A nervous chuckle, “Right in front of the throne Princess.”
“Alright, coming.” Her hoofsteps stopped dead. No pony was there. “I do not find this game amusing. Come out now and I’ll find your parents.”
“Hey..” The voice was definitely louder from here. No. It-it couldn’t be… “I’m right in front of you.”
“Oh pony feathers.”
***
Dear Twilight,
I know I sent you to make friends out of the blue on that fateful day, but truth to be told, being a ruler of a nation makes friends a rarity. I am writing this to ask for your advice, care to help an old teacher out?
Earlier today I took a small trip to relax, and when I came back, I had found something or rather someone now that I could consider being a new friend.
Asking for help,
Princess Celestia
Dear Celestia,
It has been a while since I received a letter. I missed writing these with Spike. I’m not sure I understand the question. While I am flattered and more than willing to help, I am confused. You said friends are a rarity, and yet you appear to have a new one.
I’ve only returned to Ponyville since about half an hour ago from the two hour train ride. Is something wrong?
What exactly is the problem?
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
I apologize for writing in haste. It was my mistake writing without explaining things. Perhaps it would be better for you to come here. It would make more sense considering the situation. You see, when I wrote that I found a new friend, I meant to write that I had made a new friend. And no, it is not an imaginary friend.
Please come here,
Princess Celestia
Dear Celestia,
Okay, you sound stressed from the last letter. I’ll come, but I’m going to bring Spike. Starlight is currently doing a friendship lesson and my friends are busy for a while. Be there in an hour.
Be there soon,
Twilight sparkle
***
After asking where the Princess was, Twilight moved around the maze of rooms and hallways efficiently. Still mapped out in her head, Canterlot Castle was the best maze she had ever completed – in multiple ways no less.
The throne room doors were opened cautiously and quickly with tension in the air. The regular guards posted at the doorway were nowhere to be seen, and none were on the inside of the doorway either.
“Princess?”
“Ah Twilight, there you are.” She placed a tablet of paper and a pencil off to the side onto a recently placed side table surrounded by two chairs. “I have taken some notes, a page out of your book.” She chuckled, “Ah out of your book. Yes I think we should get to the matter at hoof.”
“Okay, Princess. But can I read you notes as we go over them?”
“Alright. Come and sit over here please.” She sat and skimmed the front page of the tablet. It was filled with writing of magic of what was supposed to work and how. “What do you make of that?” Celestia seemed eager, but she was reserved with underlying tension.
Considering the logic and the base runes took only a second to read but a few minutes to process. “Well it seems like these runes would bind two… things together and make it so that it could be manipulated. It seems similar to teleporting but less efficient. Some of these symbols need serious concentration to pull off successfully. The other portion just boggles me. It seems like it is accomplishing multiple things, but only one similar to teleporting of them is obvious.”
She stopped for her teacher’s assessment. “Well Twilight, you’re not wrong, and I haven’t paid close enough attention to the actual spell to tell you if your assessment is correct. The spell documentation you’re looking at is a finalized version of the Portal Spell created by Starswirl the Bearded. This one opens the gateway to Tartarus.”
“What? But.. how does this relate to your problem in the letters?”
A golden hoof passed through Celestia’s mane, “Actually, I am still quite apprehensive about it. You see, I came back from relaxing in Tartarus only to hear what I thought was a colt’s voice. After not finding him, I asked where they were. And It was the one speaking.”
Her hoof extended towards the portal.
Silence.
More silence.
“Princess are you sure? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but maybe it was just an echo of sorts.”
“I’m quite positive that It spoke.” She got up. “Come on now. Say hello. You got over your fear of talking to me, so say hi to my former student.”
Its fires shifted and dulled slightly, as if in thought. “…Hi…”
Shocked, not only by its timidity, but also by the scientific curiosity it provoked, Twilight took a step back. Considering that she might spook it further, she bowed and replied, “Oh, hello. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and you are?”
“Uh.. We didn’t get that far yet. We were just working on how I exist after I am closed.”
“Princess? What does It mean?”
“Well,” she held a hoof to her chin, “I normally close the portal by now, but we got to talking how… It remembers previous times I have opened it as a portal and when I have closed It. Apparently, It has some sort of omniscience of Tartarus. Regardless, we haven’t even breached the subject of a name or even gender specifications.”
They sat back down, content to leave the portal where it existed. “So Twilight, you think a name is the next thing to start with?”
“Well I think so. I originally thought this was about friendships more than self-discovery, but this is a whole new sentient being!”
A flash of light created a hole in Celestia’s throne. Except it was more of a dark spot than a hole. A face protruded from it, and another flash later caused Discord to float lazily around the two alicorns.
“Celestia! I’ve been looking for you. Guess which room or hallway is filled with what now? Go on guesssssssss!” He drew his ‘s’ out on purpose to annoy her.
She sighed. “I say a hallway with something that is… octagon shaped.”
“Close. It’s not octagon shaped, but it is a hallway.”
She closed her eyes, holding in a snide response. “I give up, what mess did you cause this time?”
“Rude much. As if you actually care. Anyway, as per my rules sheet,” he snapped a piece of paper with nails in it and waffles acting a half of the written letters into his clawed hand, “it says for this week today, I only have one try at chaos in a room or hallway. So I filled it with a vacuum!” He laughed. “What better idea than nonexistence! I haven’t done that one yet. Except… Nothing happened aside from a sudden wind. I tried again, just to make sure I was doing it right. Unfortunately I still have no idea why, and I don’t want to incur any more penalties from the rules sheet.”
Twilight was fed up with Discord, and she wasn’t the one dealing with him on a weekly to daily basis. “Look Discord. You created a vacuum in a space that is not enclosed. Since air is a gas, diffusion would fill the empty space up quickly. So in essence, you just created a sudden wind depending on how large the empty space was.”
He groaned. “I hate failing at my favourite pastime. So what are you two peas in a pod doing?”
“Nothing that concerns you Discord.” Celestia frowned. She frowned harder at him than she ever had before, attempting to make him leave.
“Please? I’m penalized right now as per my rules, and I’m bored. Besides, I’m learning about friendship, so can you give me another chance?”
His puppy dog face was rather unappealing, but he did have a reasonable point about friendship. “I suppose you can stay, but don’t scare out new friend. Do that, and you get removed. Understand?”
“Yes mam, boss, sir!” he snapped and was on her throne while the two sat around their small table.
“Now do you have any names for yourself?” She looked at the burning rift. It said nothing.
A breath passed her lips. “Twilight, have any ideas?”
“Not really. I should make a list I suppose.”
Paper floated toward her. In a flash she started writing single words down that could describe the portal. Then she wrote compound words in a list form. “Think these’ll do Celestia?”
Discord used his magic to snoop. “Being chummy with the ruling princess eh Twi? Oh my. Are you naming that portal? All of these seem to relate to Tartarus if I’m not mistaken. While as fun as it has been staring at you two writing too many words for ten minutes, I think I’ll just go prank Rainbow with Pinkie.” He went away in the same flash he entered from.
“Oh, wait a minute, I forgot something.” Two snaps later, a sign had appeared on the corner of the portal, and he was gone once more.
She squinted to read the sign, “…TartarusFire? Really Discord? For wrecking so much havoc that first time out of stone, I feel like that’s not very chaotic.”
A voice echoed in Twilight’s head, “Well, I have a penalty from the rule sheet. Don’t worry the penalty only lasts a day!”