A harald trotted up to Celestia's throne as she presided over a hectic day court. The rumors of new alicorn royalty had thrown the noble houses into disarray and the reigning princess already had her hooves full. If there was any consolation at all, it was that her sister was standing by her, forgoing her daily rest to provide much needed moral support. The messenger whispered to the Princess of the Sun causing her to frown and roll her eyes, before giving a tired nod.
“What is it, sister?” Luna noticed her sibling’s irritation quickly.
“It’s Discord,” Celestia gave a resigned sigh, “He says he has important business with the court.”
“Surely he knows this is a bad time…” the Guardian of Dreams started then caught herself, “Of course he knows, why else would he be doing it.”
“At least he announced himself properly this time,” Celestia built her resolve against the coming trial against her patience.
“His Lordship of Chaos, Disharmony, and fusion-metal-polka,” the crier announced, “Discord would like to address the court, if it pleases your majesties?”
“I’m hardly pleased, but I’ll allow it,” Celestia steeled herself against the coming storm of inane silliness.
“Thank you your majesty,” The Draconequus approached the thrones with a wide grin, “Ladies and Gentlecolts, I bring you news today of a human's transcendance of life and death into a new form of…”
“Discord,” Celestia interrupted impatiently, “Everypony already knows about Silver Watch ascending to become an alicorn. Please say you didn’t waste our time with news we all already knew about.”
“Who said anything about Silver? Everything in the universe doesn’t HAVE to be about Silver Watch, you know. Sheez, you’d think the universe was named after him or something.”
“Are you suggesting that some other human has ascended into an alicorn that we are unaware of?” Luna raised an eyebrow.
“First, LuLu, I never said ‘ascended’, I said transcended,” Discord clarified with some annoyance in his voice, “And I certainly never said anything about any boring old ‘alicorn’.”
“Alright, Discord,” Celestia took the bait, “Out with it. At the very least, this promises to be mildly entertaining. What did you do this time.”
“Well, your majesty, and assembled rabble,” Discord turned to the crowd, “As some of you may, or may not be aware, there was a recent… kerfuffle in the space time continuum. Now MOST of the other villains of Equestria used their brief moments of triumph to simply carry out their ill-thought little power fantasies…”
“Does this have anything to do with my sister’s recent nightmares involving sad clown makeup?” Luna’s voice carried an edge, causing the lord of chaos to clear his throat and adjust the bow-tie that appeared for the sole purpose of being awkwardly adjusted.
“Well at least I didn’t blow up Equestria,” Discord said nervously in his own defence, “What I DID do was engage in a series of experiments at creating my own breeds of ponies while helping displaced humans adapt to Equestria.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow causing Discord to jump to his own defense, “Moon-butt turns humans into bat ponies all the time, so don’t look at me like that!”
“Hey,” an offended Lunar guard objected, “Don’t call us bat-ponies!”
“At any rate I drew inspiration from a nearby human parallel universe cursed with a plague of pony-polymorphism (I swear that’s a thing),” Discord continued his speech unabated, “And I created three completely new tribes of ponies. DIno ponies, stronger than any earth pony, some as big as train car!”
Ponies murmured to each other as Discord continued, “Dragon ponies. Capable of flying AND breathing fire, without any of that pesky reorganizing of perfectly nice RANDOM weather patterns. And finally (and I was especially fond of these) the tazzle ponies. Who needs hands when you can have tazzle snakes? Their smarter than any dumb old unicorn horn and oh the tricks they can do!”
Celestia placed a hoof against her forehead, seeing where this was going.
“Well, the only problem of course was that when time reset all my fun little ponies went back to being stupid, smelly, boring, old humans… or bat-ponies in the case of the ones Luna had already gotten too.”
“Hey!” the same lunar called out, only to be ignored.
“Luckily I knew of a human who had died alone in changeling pod right here in Canterlot Hospital…” Discord was suddenly interrupted by Luna’s fury.
“You didn’t dare?!?!” Princess Luna rose to her full height, “If that human was I think it was, he was under my express protection!”
“Well, you should do a better job of it next time,” Discord’s words dripped with scorn, “I obeyed all the rules. A soul passed from life, in a place outside of time, judged to be worthy of the greatest gift Chaos can offer… behold: The Tazzle-corn! The greatest accomplishment of Chaos in all the history of Questria!”
It appeared before the assembled court in a burst of balloons and confetti. Pinkie Pie detected this use of her schtick, but decided to let it slide this time. The monstrous thing glowed a bright sky blue, arcane symbols tracing and changing along it’s coat. It’s darker blue mane glowed like a black light, reflect of the colorful ponies. It’s draconic wings stayed tucked firmly at its side.
The creature's face was a mask of embarrassment as a single tazzle snake slithered from it’s mouth to scratch the back of it’s head, and it shrank back a bit from the scrutiny and said in a small voice, “I’m really sorry about this.”
“It’s a monster!” One of the day guards suddenly shouted, prompting the assembled court to erupt into pandamonium.
“Protect the Princesses!” Another guard took up the rallying cry, bringing full weight of the royal guard into play.
“Seriously?” Ki rolled his eyes and sighed, “Again?”