Last night was a rough sleep as I recovered from the hellish nightmare of being near murdered by angry Parliament members, 'saved' by my aunt Luna and sister Sunset I 'lived' to see another day...I just hope I am better today than that night.
I awoke feeling terrible...Sleep was a bad term to use for what I had....It was more barely enough to call a 'power nap'.....But sleep it was even if it was to say nothing of the sort, I just slid from bed to my feet feeling some victory in the first order to not fall on my face, I then head to the shower...after using the Porcelain throne first.
Once the water hit it started to work, though it I feel made me more willing to hit the bed than wake up.
"God why? Why last night?" I asked as if expecting a reply.
None came but no need; anyways I bathed and brushed before exiting to dry off, as I did I looked at the Near Navy-Blue unicorn stallion staring back in the mirror.
"You look awful," I remarked at my reflection.
"Well better try to fix this," I drawled as I brushed my mane best I could; my eyes looked half alive more than half asleep.
Once done I moved to dress myself, then headed to the Thrones Room to eat; once I was half way I met somepony walking down the hall with me.
"Oh, heloo Starlight," I said near slurring.
"Hey David; you okay?" She asked me genuinely.
"I had a bad night," I said rubbing my eyes.
"Aw sorry about that," She said with a sympathetic look.
"I will feel better later; I hope," I said sounding near unconvinced by my own words.
"Me too," She said placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Thank you," I said smiling back best I could; she said you are welcome and we head to our common destination.
When we arrived there in her seat was Twilight, to my surprise in her night clothes of a rather attractive body hugging button up light-blue shirt and matching pants going over the morning paper as a cup of coffee sat steaming lightly in front of the paper in her hand.
"Hey Twilight," I said with eyes widening a little bit in regard to Twi's clothes, drawing her attention from her paper.
"Oh! Good morning; how did you-...Oh dear," Twilight said once she saw my face.
"Bad night? Was it a nightmare?" Twilight asked sweetly as she looked concerned.
"I did; Luna and Sunset saved me," I reported.
"Oh wow; that must have been some nightmare,"
"It was," I said yawning.
"Care to talk about it?" Starlight asked me.
"Please?" Twilight pleaded.
"After I wake up more okay?" I requested.
"Of course," Twilight agreed caringly, "What you like for breakfast David?" she asked smiling to lift my spirit.
"I will see in what is here," I replied slumping into the throne on Twi's right but next to Starlight's seat to my left.
"Fair enough," Twilight replied softly continuing her reading; I then looked up to the tree roots chandelier above me.
It was still a sight to me, amazing how each gem had a picture of a memory from the Mane 6's past along with other images unknown to all and me not shown in the TV series.
"Quite something huh? I remember seeing it my first time and appreciating it for real; it was amazing how special Twi and her friend's friendship is," Starlight said.
"I know; it is hard to imagine I am looking at it in person...or Equine rather," I chuckled resulting in Starlight giggling too as well as Twilight.
"Rarity is still modest about how she got the spell to put our memories into the gems," Twilight said placing the paper down.
"I recalled that about her," I said rubbing my eyes of their sleep.
"M-Hmm; but on a serious note we have work to do, your speech," Twilight said looking almost reluctant to start this task in light perhaps in part on my condition of lacking proper sleep.
"I was thinking about that," I sighed glumly reclining in my seat.
"Please David just tell me, I can't wait for you to spill it after 'waking up'," Twilight pleaded.
"She's right; you'll feel better," Starlight encouraged.
"Fine," I sighed in defeat, "I dreamt about giving my speech, but the sheet was blank so I was drawn a blank," I began.
"Oh gosh; let me guess, Parliament turns on you?" Twilight asked.
"Worse; my mother and Luna spurn me then Parliament turned, after that they chased me and right when I was on the floor in a hallway with one member clutching a knife to murder me Luna shows up with Sunset and they save me," I finished.
"Wow...." Starlight said as both her and Twilight's mouths were agape.
"Oh David; that was no nightmare, it was a glimpse of Hell," Twilight said in surprise and sympathy.
"Tell me about it," I said running fingers through my mane.
"I would lose sleep too with a dream like that," Starlight agreed.
"I know; sorry to disappoint but talking about this helps very little...." I sighed face down on the table.
"It was worth a shot was it?" Starlight asked.
"It was a noble effort," I confessed.
"Thank you for at least telling us David; this is far better than bottling up your fears and emotions," Twilight said smiling warmly.
"I know...I just fear my insecurity will be seen as weakness and I will be seen as less a stallion because of it," I stated sitting back up, "That has always been my case, the paranoia of being shunned for my lack of confidence and low self-esteem or lack thereof,"
"I felt that in spades last night and with Sunset when she snapped at me; if I was not an insecure colt I am now...." I vented.
Twilight and Starlight could look at each other after that, then to me as I looked probably pathetic and vulnerable; I could only feel shaken by the terror gripping me and low self-confidence and ebbing self-esteem as I went into a trauma-like state while tears leaked from my eyes, it was near like after Sunset snapped at me when Celestia commented my tour of 2 places in Equestria would not be my winning argument things were clearly not going my way in this plan for return.
"I want to so badly be the Prince Equestria deserves but I do not feel like I am; I am no prince Twilight....I am a pauper colt playing a prince," I sighed tears streaming down my cheeks in a near unbroken gentle flow.
I felt a hand on my shoulder as Twilight I saw was looking at me caringly.
"David, you are not any of those ugly things you said; certainly you are not weak, you are just being given more responsibility than you are prepared for coming from a position in life with no responsibility over anything but your own life." Twilight began.
"It is unfair so much is being dropped on you at once and that when you think you got things right more comes and tears you down again,"
"This is an ugly test you were given but as we told you you are not alone, you have your family and friends helping you, and I am for one am not going to let you fail, not now, not ever." Twilight finished.
I smiled in reply, feeling a little better about this but that speech...My return...That was what kept me in check, unless I do something I will be chewed up and spat out by Parliament....
"So what do we do?" I asked eager to use today to find a solution quickly.
"First how about we eat and enjoy ourselves today? You don't have to work on this today you need a break." Starlight said kindly.
"I suppose I could." I replied; after a nice breakfast the three of us headed out to walk around town.
Walking in Ponyville seemed to be what I needed as we then headed to the park first to relax, along the way I took another look around the iconic town.
"You look better." Starlight remarked with a smile.
"I am feeling better, I guess I was acting like the time was fading faster than it really was; I needed this." I replied with perhaps the most carefree smile I made in a while.
"Great; and to perhaps help I know just where to go." Twilight said turning us toward out of town.
It did not take long before I saw where we were going, 'Ponyville Public Park'; a perfect place to relax and forget my troubles.
"This will be perfect," I said looking at the tranquil setting of small knolls, flat areas, dirt paths.
"Thought it would be; hey look we have somepony we know." Twilight said pointing toward the lake, it was Fluttershy and a family of ducks.
We then headed over to the butter Pegasi who was seated on the ground on her calves with her feet behind her, typically and adorably petting one of the ducklings around her as they peeped, and mother duck watched with motherly protectiveness while permitted Fluttershy the closeness and contact she had.
"Hey Fluttershy." Twilight said softly so to not startle her or the ducks.
"Oh, hey Twilight, Starlight, 'Bold Heart'." she replied in her signature soft tone, definitely a location to use my false identity I thought since she did not call me 'David'.
"I was taking him to the park to relax, he could use the break after having a breakdown earlier." Twilight explained.
"Oh no...Is it... The 'speech'?" Fluttershy whispered.
"Yes it is," Starlight replied, "He was really stressing out over it."
"That is putting it mildly; I want so badly to give a convincing argument as to why I deserve the throne but what I have is being called 'not enough'." I sighed dejectedly.
"I'm sorry I can't be of much help; if I was good with crowds and speeches I would help." Fluttershy apologized, her ears flattened out in a submissive manner to express her sympathy.
"It is fine Fluttershy, I wouldn't want to approach you with such a request out of your comfort zone," I said smiling to comfort and assure her, she smiled in response.
"But we aren't out here to think, we're here to relax." Twilight reminded kindly.
"Agreed; mind if I help you with these ducks?" I asked.
"Sure, I would love that." Fluttershy agreed handing me a loaf of bread and some dried corn; soon Twi and Starlight joined in and we all feed ducks and had a great time.
As I feed the ducks stress vacated me completely, I was back to my tour of Equestria again with not a care in the world; it brought me also back to a simple time when I was a kid feeding ducks with my adopted mother, it was a new form of nostalgia in essence and I loved it all.
"This was a needed break Davi-I mean...Bold." Twilight said correcting herself.
"It is fine Twilight; and yes I should have taken one the moment this weighed on me," I admitted with a chuckle.
"There's no shame in that," Fluttershy said softly.
"I know; but I guess I was afraid any break would be time consuming of work time...Since the tour was meant to serve a dual purpose, but that was maybe a suggestion," I reasoned.
"I suppose so; but it did help you bond with our land Bold...Maybe we're overthinking this whole thing." Twilight theorized.
"You know, that's it; we have been not seeing the big picture behind this small tour, it's the little things that can make the biggest impact!" Starlight said excited at this possible insight to my problem.
"That could be the angle you needed to state your stance on the reason you are taking on the role of prince after all." Fluttershy added in.
"You know; it might work...That is something to tell Celestia later."
"Good idea; I'll write her a letter when we get home again." Twilight said.
"Great." I replied satisfied we may have made the plan we seeked; after a while more Twilight, Starlight, Fluttershy and I left the park for Twi's castle, I felt like a new stallion as I made my way 'home'.
As we approached Twi's castle we saw there was an object in front of the castle, as we gained ground the object had revealed to be....My mother's chariot?...
"Oh my...." Fluttershy squeaked.
"Why is Celestia here?" Twilight asked.
"I have no clue why my mother is here...I hope she is not in a foul mood or brings ill news..."
"Whatever it is let's just get it over with." Starlight said as we headed toward and entered the castle, once inside we walked to the Thrones Room, there in Twilight's throne was my mother herself...The lack of a smile was disconcerting...Very disconcerting...
"David; shall we talk about a little idea you concocted?" she asked sounding like she was bottling disapproval and utter anger as her tone was strained like trying to remain calm...I was boned....
TO BE CONTINUED.