//------------------------------// // You Can Eat Them Anytime // Story: Slices of Raridash // by Twinkletail //------------------------------// "This is dinner?" "Yeah." "This." "That." "This." "Did you overwork yourself again?" "Oh, please. You work yourself to the point of collapse on one dress and suddenly you have a reputation." "Well you don't seem to know what a dinner is at the moment, so excuse me for being concerned." "I know what a dinner is. This is not a dinner." "What do you mean? It's food. It's dinner time. It's dinner." "So you mean to tell me that I could haphazardly toss a hoof-ful of hay fries in front of you and you'd call it dinner because it was the right time?" "Actually, I could go for some hay fries right about now." "That's not the point. You said you would make me dinner tonight since I made it for you yesterday." "And I did! It's sitting right in front of you." "Would you kindly recall what you had for dinner last night?" "A spinach and gray ear–" "Gruyere." "...That...soufflé, with a side of stuffed collard greens." "Correct." "And it was delicious." "Thank you. And what, pray tell, is this that you've presented to me?" "Pizza bagels." "Pizza bagels." "Pizza bagels." "Pizza bagels." "Stop doing that!" "Forgive me, darling. Silly old me just assumed that you'd feed me as if I was a full-grown mare, not a filly." "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's wrong with pizza bagels?" "What's wrong with–" "I swear, if you repeat after me one more time..." "Fine. But seriously, do you know how long I toiled to give you a special dinner?" "No, but I'm pretty sure you're about to tell me." "The collard greens alone took nearly two hours. And that's not even taking the soufflé into account." "And it was delicious." "You don't have to keep saying that, I'm already aware. Now, how long did those pizza bagels take to prepare?" "A half hour." "Not including the trip to the freezer aisle of the supermarket." "Two and a half minutes. Though I did make sure to put the one in the middle of the tray back in the microwave by itself for another six seconds, because the middle one doesn't heat up as much. I did that for you because I care." "Seriously." "Seriously." "The collard greens alone took two hours, and all of it was done with care. That's 1200 times those six seconds of care." "But the middle one would have been cold if I didn't do that! Who wants to eat a cold pizza bagel?" "Who wants to eat any pizza bagel once they've finished grade school?" "I do. You calling me a filly? Because if you think I'm a filly, then we need to have a serious talk about what we did after dinner last night." "Don't be crass." "Crass rhymes with ass." "Must you always say that?" "You didn't seem to mind me being crass last night." "We're getting off-topic." "You said getting off." "I am done speaking to you if this is all you're going to do." "Okay, okay. Sorry." "Apology accepted. Now, back to the matter at hoof." "I don't see what the problem is. Yeah, your meal for me was fancier, but that doesn't mean I don't care as much." "No, it doesn't. I know you care for me as much as I care for you. But if I'm putting in that much effort, having such minimal effort put towards me is troubling." "Fine. Whatever. I'll just throw them out. Sorry I suck so much." "...Dash, wait." "What?" "I'm sorry. Perhaps I could stand to be less picky. And don't agree with me." "My lips are sealed." "Good. Now, please put the tray back down so I may eat the...dinner you've so lovingly made for me." "You sure it won't offend your delicate taste buds?" "Don't push it." "Uh-huh. Here you go, your majesty." "You were only required to call me that last night, Dash." "Now who's being crass?" "Well, you know what it rhymes with."