//------------------------------//
// Rarity v. Raptor: Dawn of Fabulous 
// Story: Tales From the Phoenix Empire 
// by Chengar Qordath 
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Living a double life is immensely complicated. By day, I am Rarity the etiquette teacher at a prestigious private school by day; by night, I am the Sapphire Guardian, defender of Canterlot. To be quite honest, I had nearly run myself ragged before the Empress stepped in to lend a hoof. While I was of course immensely grateful for her aid, that assistance had come with an attached price. One I could hardly object to—Nightmare Moon obviously had to be stopped before she plunged the world into eternal darkness—but it was yet another commitment upon my time.

I now had to associate with this odd little group of Element-wielders on a regular basis as part of our mission, whilst keeping my night life secret. The nature of the project added yet another layer of secrecy upon my life; I also had to hide my association with them, lest someone discovers the connection between myself, the others, and the Sapphire Guardian. I had no doubt the Empress had her reasons for trusting them, but the best way to keep one’s secrets is to never share them with anyone, no matter how trustworthy they might be. Even the most loyal and discreet pony might make an accidental slip or be coerced by extreme circumstances.

Thus, I had gone to some pains to prevent all my secret lives from overlapping one another as much as possible. The Sapphire Guardian generally avoided anypony who was well acquainted with Rarity, and vice-versa. While I like to think I am a reasonably talented actress, I would prefer not to put my skills to the test needlessly. A single overlooked piece of body language or poorly chosen turn of phrase could give away the entire game.

And so, it was with some trepidation that the Sapphire Guardian approached the rather large and quite impressive family home of Abacus Cinch, mathematics teacher at the Harshwhinny Academy. I was not especially close to Abacus—to be quite honest, I found her to be haughty to the point of rudeness—but the nature of the case made it all but impossible for me to ignore it.

Canterlot’s Civil Guard was already on the scene when I arrived at her home. In the past, I would have waited until they left to begin my own investigation; however, the Empress’ tacit approval of my vigilante activities had opened several new doors to me. Instead of skulking in the shadows, I dropped down from my hiding place, landing in front of a sergeant. “Excuse me, but I believe I have some pertinent information.”

The sergeant, a somewhat short and rotund hippogryph, took half a step back in surprise before recovering his composure, affecting an air of forced calm and disinterest. He drew out a simple notepad and a pen, looking at me expectantly. “Is that so? Then hurry up and share it, Ms. Guardian.”

So he wanted to play the calm professional? Good, that would make the entire process much smoother. “Last night, somepony broke into an apartment in the Cloud District. The owner, a stallion by the name of High Standards, reported that his entire residence had been ransacked but nothing appeared to be missing. I presume that the same is the case here?”

“That’s what our initial report says,” the sergeant admitted. “Though with a house this big, it’ll probably take days to properly inventory everything. She must come from a rich family, because there’s no way she could afford a big fancy mansion like this on a teacher’s salary.” He grimaced and shook his head. “But that’s beside the point. The MO might be similar, but that’s a pretty thin basis for saying the two cases are connected. The Cloud District’s halfway across town, and a middle class neighborhood instead of upper class.”

“That’s true...” Unfortunately the mask prevented the sergeant from seeing my triumphant smile as I delivered the most important fact. “But did I mention that High Standards happens to also be an instructor at the Harshwhinny Academy? He’s the music teacher.”

To the good sergeant’s credit, the only sign that I’d surprised him was a brief pause before he resumed taking notes. His carefully neutral expression made me suspect he would be excellent at playing cards. “Interesting, but it could just be a coincidence.”

I was hardly a trained investigator—to be honest, before I’d become the Guardian most of what I knew about how to investigate came from reading Shadow Spade and other private detective novels. A lady is allowed to have a few guilty pleasures. In the current circumstances, I couldn’t help but recall one of Spade’s many memorable turns of phrase: ‘It’s not that I don’t believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen all the time. But I don't trust coincidences.’

Of course, that also explained my own involvement in the case. If somepony was breaking into the homes of teachers at the Harshwhinny Academy, then presumably I was a target as well. I most certainly did not want somepony violating the sanctity of my apartment, nor all the troublesome attention from the Civil Guard that would inevitably follow. While I tried to avoid leaving evidence of my double life lying about my home, I was in no rush to put that to the test by having the Guard thoroughly inventory every single thing I owned.

Not to mention ... well, there were only so many reasons somepony would break into and search the homes of a bunch of schoolteachers. While the Civil Guard would no doubt start with the assumption that it was a disgruntled former employee or a student getting up to mischief, I could not help but wonder if I was the cause. Had some criminal worked out enough clues to realize that one of the teachers at the Harshwhinny Academy was the Guardian? If I had put my fellow educators at risk, it was only proper to resolve the matter myself.

The sergeant pulled me out of my contemplations with an annoyed grunt. “Still, no harm in seeing if the two crimes are connected. Cover every angle, and all that.” He spared a half-hearted glare at me. “I’m not wild about having some masked vigilante poking around my crime scene, but someone way above my pay grade seems to like you and what you’re doing. I’m not going to rock the boat and risk pissing off my boss’s boss, so you can look around as long as you share anything you find and don’t touch anything without one of the Guard there to document it. Last thing I need is you tainting evidence or breaking chain of custody.”

“I understand. Thank you for your cooperation.” The sergeant wasn’t exactly being inviting, but sparing him a little politeness didn’t cost me anything and just might help my cause. “If it makes you feel any better, I have been studying Civil Guard procedures to ensure that I don’t cause any problems.”

The only answer the sergeant gave was another grunt, this one at a slightly less annoyed pitch. One of the many things about males which sometimes baffled me was the sheer variety of grunts they used, as though it constituted an entire separate language. One which, I confess, I was still learning the nuances of. However, I was reasonably certain that this particular vocalization was intended to acknowledge my remark without inviting any further conversation.

I trotted off to start my investigation, one of the junior Civil Guard dutifully escorting me towards the crime scene. However, I had barely started when another of the sergeant’s subordinates rushed to his side, whispering something I couldn’t quite catch. The sergeant’s response, on the other hoof, was quite clear. “More outsiders sticking their nose into my crime scene? Did someone put up a sign saying this was amateur detective night?”

That remark piqued my curiosity, and I made a show of investigating the broken door while keeping one eye on the sergeant. The new arrivals did not keep me waiting long, and I found myself once more reflecting on Spade’s remarks about coincidences.

“Hello, I'm Dame Fluttershy of the Order of Sol Invictus,” my acquaintance introduced herself. “These are my friends, Rainbow Dash of the Wonderbolts and Major Ditzy Doo. We were just wondering if there was anything the Order could do to assist in your investigation? I don’t mean to intrude, but one of our chapter houses is just two blocks away, and it was hard not to notice that something was going on.” She smiled hopefully. “It would be our pleasure to help in any way we can.”

There was a stunned silence as the sergeant recovered from the unexpected appearance of three high-ranking officials. “Ma’am, this is highly irregular. I…” He sighed, gently rubbing his forehead with one of his talons. “Oh, why bother?” He lowered his claw and formally reported. “Break-in. Second one in a string of them, according to her.” He waved irritably towards me. “She could probably tell you more than me.”

Ah. No doubt he hoped that his two unwelcome guests might cancel one another out. I had far more pressing concerns, though. Much like with my fellow instructors, my acquaintances in the Empress’ special project knew far too much about Rarity for me to be entirely comfortable with any of the meeting the Sapphire Guardian. However, I could hardly run away—I suppose I would just have to hope my acting skills were up to the challenge after all.

As the three of them spotted me, something most unexpected happened. Rainbow Dash let out an excited squeal of the sort I normally would have expected out of one of my students discussing whatever attractive young stallion was currently in vogue. “Ohmygosh! Guys, do you know who that is? It's. The. Sapphire. Guardian!”

Major Doo blinked, frowning slightly. “I think I’ve heard about her. Some kind of vigilante, right? And the Civil Guard is just letting her poke around a crime scene?”

Rainbow’s eyes widened and she grabbed her friend’s shoulders, shaking her and staring into her eyes. “Derpy! Don't you know who that is?!”

The major’s eyes wobbled as Rainbow shook her, settling in an off-kilter position. “Yes, I just said that I did. But dressing up in a crazy costume doesn't make her an honorary guard.”

“Yeah, she's even better!” Rainbow squealed, staring at me as though utterly enraptured and perhaps a little smitten. “She's a super-hero! Like, the best super-hero ever! That’s way cooler!”

Major Doo frowned and rather pointedly nudged her friend’s shoulder. “Rainbow, could you not insult the civil guard while they're standing right in front of us? Please?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, Derpy. You know I think the Guard’s awesome too. How could they not be when they’ve got two of my best gal-pals? It’s just ... c’mon! She’s a superhero! How cool is that?”

Dame Fluttershy frowned skeptically. “A superhero? Are those actually real?”

“You bet your butterflies they are!” Rainbow grinned like a madmare. “There’s the proof standing right in front of us! Not only is she real, she’s totally, completely, one hundred percent pure awesome! She has her own comic book and everything!”

A comic book? Since when did I have a comic book? I suppose somepony must have used my image and popularity to promote their own stories. Which I suppose was technically a violation of some sort of copyright or intellectual property laws, but it would be rather difficult to file a lawsuit without compromising my secret identity.

Rainbow Dash seemed to realize I was looking at them and began enthusiastically waving like a small child, almost frantic to get my attention. I politely returned the gesture, which drew an excited squeal and a huge grin from her.

“Um, Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy gently prompted. “She’s probably very busy right now. Maybe we shouldn't bother her?”

Rainbow stared at her incredulously. “Are you kidding? Come on, do you really want to miss out on a chance to meet a real-life superhero?!”

“She’s probably a bit too busy doing the superhero thing to sign an autograph for you, Rainbow,” Major Doo deadpanned. “Actually being a hero probably takes priority over basking in the adoration of all her fans.”

“Oh come on guys, I just wanna meet her,” Rainbow whined. “It’s not like I’d get in her way for that long. Besides, we're practically heroes ourselves, aren't we?”

Fluttershy hesitated for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask if she wanted some help.”

Rainbow’s grin grew so wide I was amazed it still fit on her face. “Ohmygosh, that’s the greatest idea ever! We could team up with the Sapphire Guardian! They might put us in the next issue of the comic book, and we might even get super powers and costumes or something!” She grabbed her two friends without another word and dragged them over to me. For a long moment she didn’t say anything, content to grin at me while her wings flittered eagerly.

I decided to have mercy on the poor dear and break the ice. Hopefully they wouldn’t recognize my voice—I tried to shift my tone, accent, and choice of vocabulary while in costume. “Hello, Rainbow Dash. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am the Sapphire Guardian.”

A moment later, I realized that I might have made a terrible mistake. We hadn’t been properly introduced to one another, yet I had said her name without thinking. Had I just given myself away with the very first words I said to her? Or would they just assume I had overheard them speaking earlier? Having a dual identity is so stressful.

Rainbow’s jaw dropped, and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates as she let out a loud gasp. “You know my name!” She squealed like a schoolfilly. “The Sapphire Guardian knows who I am! Is that some superpower of yours, or have you actually heard of me? I mean, I’m a Wonderbolt and stuff, so I guess you would’ve heard of me. You’ve heard of me, right? ‘Cause that would be awesome!”

Major Doo shot her a flat look. “She probably just heard us all talking to the sergeant.”

Rainbow scoffed and waved her friend’s remark away. “Yeah, but she knows my name!” She beamed at me, practically dancing on her hooves. “So, yeah. Hey. Er, hi. Hello. I’m Rainbow Dash, but you already know that. Plus I’m in the Wonderbolts and stuff, so I’m pretty cool. Not as cool as you are, but...” She trailed off, seeming to be at a loss for what to say next.

Fluttershy stepped up to fill the gap. “Um, hello, Ms. Sapphire Guardian. I am Dame Fluttershy of the Order of Sol Invictus. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The last of the trio snapped off a quick salute, apparently reverting to her military instincts. “Major Ditzy Doo, Imperial Corps of Engineers.”

Well, so far, so good. I offered a hoof to each of them in turn. “It’s lovely to meet you all. It seems I don't need to bother with introducing myself, though.”

Rainbow Dash immediately snatched up my hoof, shaking it with considerable enthusiasm. A look of almost childlike glee spread across her face. “I'm shaking hooves with the Sapphire Guardian! So cool! Quick, somepony take a picture of this!” She flitted over to one of the guardponies taking crime scene photographs and snatched away his camera, tossing it to Fluttershy. “Shake my hoof again so she can take a picture of it. I wanna show it to everyone!”

I chuckled demurely and went along with Rainbow’s request, much to the annoyance of the poor photographer whose camera she had stolen. “Something of a fan, I take it?”

“Are you kidding?!” Rainbow squealed out. “You're awesome! I’ve read all about all of your adventures!”

Major Doo sighed, sitting down and rubbing her face. For her part, Dame Fluttershy returned the stolen camera with a faintly embarrassed blush and murmured an apology to the guardpony it belonged to.

I decided to play the part of the hero for a bit longer. While I wasn’t normally one to bask in public attention and let it feed my ego, I will admit that it was rather gratifying to be so admired. Especially when Rainbow Dash had made a point of questioning whether I actually deserved to be on the Elements team. “A few of my exploits have been mentioned in the newspapers, yes.” I modestly brushed a hoof along my chest. “Though I don’t do it for the fame. Really, it's just a pleasure to be able to help ponies who need it.”

Dame Fluttershy smiled approvingly. “That sounds very noble. You know, the Order does the same sort of thing without needing to wear a mask or costume. Have you ever considered joining us? I’m sure somepony as kind as you could do so much more than you already are if we all worked together.”

Before I could even consider whether to accept the offer or politely decline, Rainbow Dash whirled incredulously on her friend. “Excuse me? Were you just trying to team up with the Sapphire Guardian behind my back? Because if anypony’s gonna team up with her, it oughta be me!” She turned back to me. “I know everything about you. I’ve practically got every single one of the comics they made about you memorized! Are you really the last survivor of a long-lost tribe of ponies, dedicated to fighting evil to avenge the loss of your parents as foal with amazing super powers you got by being struck by lightning while being bitten by a magical breezie?”

My jaw dropped at the utter madness spewing out of the mouth of an otherwise reasonably sane mare. For the first time in quite a while, I was at a complete loss for words. How does one even begin to respond to such absurdity? 

Major Doo seemed share my opinion, groaning loudly and burying her face in her hooves. Ever the diplomat, Dame Fluttershy gently tried to explain everything wrong with what their friend had just said. “I don't think that's how anything works in reality, Rainbow.”

“Darn.” Rainbow sighed, her shoulders slumping in disappointment. However, a moment later she perked right back up. “Oh well, you still fight crime and stuff. And that's awesome! Actually, it might even be more awesome that you don’t have a bunch of super powers. I mean, since you can’t break boulders with your bare hooves and you don’t have a bunch of crazy spells, you just have to be even cooler to make up for it.” She grinned a threw a couple air punches, no doubt imagining that she was fighting off a horde of villains at my side.

“Lots of ponies go out and try to make the world a better place without needing special powers to do it,” Major Doo cut in, frowning. “Most of them don’t need to wear a costume and mask to do it, either.” She held up a hoof to forestall Rainbow’s inevitable objection. “And yes, I’m sure she needs to keep her real identity secret to protect her loved ones or something, but I don’t have to wear a mask to protect my family from my enemies.”

“What enemies?” Dame Fluttershy asked, a faintly confused frown creasing her face.

Major Doo grinned sheepishly. “Gravity and walls, mostly.”

Rainbow Dash countered the major’s point with the best argument she could think of. “But it’s cool! Plus, think about it—the idea that anypony could be the Sapphire Guardian is part of what makes it work. It makes the bad guys think twice about messing with anyone. Plus, y’know, it makes her like a symbol and stuff.”

“That is a good point,” Dame Fluttershy gently cut in. “But perhaps instead of debating the merits of costumed vigilante activity right in front of her, we could ask the Sapphire Guardian if there’s anything we could do to help?”

Rainbow blinked, then nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, what's the scoop? We can help!”

To be quite honest, I was tempted to turn them down. None of them were really equipped for a proper investigation, and the last thing I wanted was to have them tagging along and potentially compromising my identity. On the other hoof, I doubted that refusing them would make them drop the idea and head home. Most likely they would just go off on their own and do something dangerously unpredictable. If I told them a few things, I could hopefully at least point them in a less dangerous direction. “This home belonged to Abacus Cinch, one of the teachers at the Harshwhinny Academy for Young Mares. Last night, another teacher's home also suffered a break-in, so I was thinking that—”

Rainbow Dash interrupted me. “Wait, the Harshwhinny Academy? We have a ... friend who works there.”

“Oh dear,” Dame Fluttershy murmured. “I hope Rarity's place wasn't hit. Oh, that would be so scary to have somepony break into her home, especially when she doesn’t know anything about how to protect herself against an attacker. She’d be completely helpless.”

I took a moment to swallow my annoyance at that remark—maintaining a secret identity required making a few small sacrifices. If it were widely known that I was a martial arts master, I would seem like a much more likely suspect for the Guardian’s identity. Once I had composed myself, I got the conversation back on track. “In any case, I was planning to warn all the other teachers once I was finished here. It’s only prudent, given the circumstances. I can stop by your friend’s residence as well.”

Dame Fluttershy frowned. “I don’t understand. Who would want to attack teachers? They work so hard to help young children grow up to become good adults.”

“And they don’t get paid all that much.” Major Doo paused, her eyes flicking to Cinch’s rather sizable estate. “Barring ponies with family money, that is. I don’t suppose we know what got taken? They’ll probably need a month to inventory everything, but I’m sure the owner’s already checked on the obvious stuff like the jewelry collection.”

I nodded along thoughtfully. “So far as my own investigation and the Civil Guard’s have been able to determine, nothing has been taken. Certainly all the obvious valuables were left behind, so we can likely rule out simple greed. Judging by how thoroughly both residences seem to have been searched, I think our thief is searching for something in particular. If I might speculate, something he knows one of the teachers has, but not which one.”

“You think it could be something like a kid trying to get the answers to next week’s test?” Rainbow paused, then snorted. “How would an etiquette teacher even do tests, anyway? What, do they all just sit in class for an hour, and anyone who burps, farts, or doesn’t cross their legs the right way fails?” She scoffed and shook her head. “But seriously, why would some crook even wanna break into a bunch of teacher’s houses? What’re they gonna have that he can’t get anywhere else?”

“I don't know yet,” I admitted. Due to Rainbow Dash’s rather fervent admiration putting me in just a bit of a whimsical mood, I couldn’t resist the urge to strike a heroic pose as I declared, “But I intend to find out.”

Major Doo nodded, her eyes flicking back to her companions. “Yeah? Well, good luck with that, I guess.” Her attention shifted fully to her friends. “We should warn Rarity ASAP. If this guy's targeting her peers, she could be in danger.”

Dame Fluttershy immediately nodded along. “She is just a teacher, after all. She could be in danger, and might need somepony to protect her.” A faintly amused grin quirked her lips. “I am a knight, after all. Protecting damsels in distress is part of my job.”

“You're right!” Rainbow shouted, bolting up into the air. “Rarity can't protect herself. She’d probably scream and faint as soon as somebody kicked in her front door!”

Once more I found myself struggling not to say something to defend my own honor. While I had carefully covered up my combat skills, I certainly hadn’t imagined that I’d done such a thorough job of it that my companions were convinced I was utterly helpless. I’d only wanted to downplay my skills enough to allay any suspicions about my secret identity, not convince everypony who knew me that I was barely capable of surviving on my own.

More urgent than that, however, was the fact that the three of them seemed intent upon galloping straight to my front door. If I wasn’t there, one of them would probably kick up a fuss instead of just assuming that I was out on the town or shopping for groceries. But rushing home would naturally curtail my activities for the evening. I tried to find a way out of my current dilemma. “I can warn her for you, if you would like. I will be warning all the other instructors in any case, so it’s no trouble at all.”

Dame Fluttershy smiled politely and waved my offer away. “Thank you for the kind offer, Miss Guardian, but you’ll already have your hooves full with all the other teachers. We can take care of Rarity. It’s the least we can do. Besides, I'd love to help. I really like Rarity anyways.”

“Maybe you could come with us?” Rainbow Dash suggested. “You probably don’t know her, but she could use all the help she can get. Besides, there's something I wanted to talk to you about on the way over there.”

Blast, they seemed bound and determined to warn me. At least Rainbow’s offer would let me get a bit more time to find a way out of this mess, or at least let me follow them most of the way back without arousing suspicion. I restrained my annoyance at her low opinion of my civilian identity once more, and prepared for what was almost certainly going to be Rainbow asking if she could be my sidekick. “Very well, what was it you wanted to discuss?”

“It's something big.” Rainbow nervously looked around, no doubt trying to be discreet but really only drawing all the more attention to her secretiveness. “It’ll have to wait until we’re somewhere a bit more private, someone might hear. Besides, we really need to hurry up and find Rarity right away. I mean, do we even know for sure that’s she’s safe? She could’ve been kidnapped already, or being a damsel in distress and stuff.”

Dame Fluttershy and Major Doo started trotting off in the general direction of my apartment, and I had no choice but to follow them. I was in quite the pickle, but my only option was to tag along and hope an opportunity would present itself. Once we had gotten a safe distance away from the crime scene, I cast a simple privacy spell, which would hopefully be enough to satisfy Rainbow Dash and make her share whatever was on her mind. “Very well, we have privacy now. What did you wish to discuss?”

Rainbow scanned the area once more, then nodded to herself. “Alright, here’s the thing. There's this big threat coming, and the Empress put me and my friends in charge of stopping it.”

“Careful, Rainbow,” Major Doo chided, frowning at her. “We’re supposed to be keeping that as quiet as possible.”

“Relax, it’s not like I’m giving any of the really secret stuff away.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I’m not an idiot, I know how to be discreet. Anyway, here’s the deal: I'm not entirely sure if some of the ponies in our group are up to the challenge. I mean,  Rarity for instance. She's okay and all, but she's an etiquette teacher. What's she gonna do, give the bad guys a low grade if they try to eat us using a salad fork? Lecture them about sitting up with proper posture until they get so bored and pissed off that they kill themselves?”

Oh, that mare really was impossibly infuriating. I would have to find some way to extract a measure of righteous retribution against her some day. “Sometimes ponies can surprise you.”

“Well, yeah, I guess.” Rainbow shrugged. “I mean, Fluttershy turning into a knight was pretty out there. Back when I met her in flight school she was practically scared of her own shadow, but now she beats up monsters.” Rainbow grinned and slapped her friend on the back with a wing. “By the way, Shy, have I mentioned how awesome you are now? ‘Cause you’re awesome. But Rarity’s something else. If the fate of the world is on the line, would you want to risk everything on a pony with who just doesn’t seem to have any useful skills?”

“Perhaps you haven't seen all that she's capable of yet,” I suggested.

“It’s not like any of us know her all that well,” Major Doo agreed. “I guess she’s so busy between being a teacher and our work together that she doesn’t really have much time for socializing.” She paused and shot a pointed look at Rainbow. “Especially when one of my friends doesn’t exactly like her that much.”

Rainbow scoffed. “It’s not like I hate her or anything. She’s fine. It’s just that if she were here, all she'd add to the group would be saying was how your posture is bad or how your outfit is tacky 'n stuff. A team’s only as good as its weakest link, and right now she’s the one who’s gonna be holding us back when things get serious. If I have to spend time in a fight protecting her, that’s gonna put all of us in more danger.”

“I understand why you’re worried, Rainbow,” Dame Fluttershy began. “I don’t want her to get hurt helping us either. She’s such a nice pony, even if she is a bit out of place in our group.” She paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Now, was it a right turn at this street, or a left one? Sorry, I’ve only been to her apartment one time, and that was just for tea after we’d spent all afternoon working with Twilight Sparkle on the ... project.”

I saw my opening and pounced on it. “I believe her residence is that way.” I deliberately pointed in the wrong direction. Hopefully that would buy me enough lead time to get home and clean up before Dame Fluttershy realized her mistake and reversed course. “It seems like you have this well in hoof. Unless there was anything else you wished to discuss, I really ought to go spread the word—there are over a dozen other teachers and school officials at the Harshwhinny Academy, after all.”

“Alright.” Major Doo casually waved goodbye. “Nice to meet you. Hopefully we'll see you again under better circumstances.”

“Oh yes, it was a pleasure.” Dame Fluttershy smiled politely. “You seem really nice. Please do think about what I said earlier—the Order could always use a new member with your drive and dedication to doing good.”

Rainbow frowned and playfully poked the knight in the shoulder. “‘Shy, if you poach my teamup with the Guardian, we’re gonna have some words.” She turned back to me. “Oh, and one last thing before you go...” She bit down on her lip, repressing a giddy squeal. “Can I get your autograph? I am your number one absolute biggest fan!”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I’m afraid I don’t have a pen on me at the moment, or anything to sign. Thank you all very much, though. Especially you, Rainbow Dash—it’s always very gratifying to know that all my hard work is appreciated.”

With all the farewells taken care of, I slipped away from the group and darted down a dark alley. As soon as I was safely out of sight I clambered up a nearby wall and onto the rooftops, then began doubling back to reach my apartment while staying reasonably covert. So long as none of them flew up to get a wider perspective I should be able to make it home without getting spotted, even if the situation was less than ideal. Normally I never wore the Guardian outfit anywhere near my home, but there just wasn’t time to stop by one of my storage areas and change.

As it was, by the time I came within sight of my apartment building, I caught a glimpse of a rather distinctive rainbow tail slipping in through the building’s front door. Apparently my false directions hadn’t slowed them down nearly as much as I’d hoped. By the time I worked my way across the exterior of the building and slipped into the window of my unit, Rainbow was already pounding on my apartment’s door. “Come on, Rarity, open up! You okay in there?” 

I scrambled to get my costume off as fast as possible, but a full bodysuit isn’t the kind of thing one can remove in a matter of seconds. Especially since I needed to be careful not to rip or tear it. While the new material purchased with the Empress’ stipend were much more durable than simple cloth, I didn’t want to push my luck. A few seconds of haste now could cost me hours of repair work later.

However, I might not have much choice in the matter. Rainbow Dash pounded on my door again. “I mean it, Rarity! If you don’t open the door in five seconds, I’m breaking it down!”

“She might not even be here,” Major Doo cautioned her. “And do I even need to point out the inherent problem with breaking into her home to warn her that someone might be planning to break into her home?”

“Or the bad guy could be in there right now!” Rainbow countered. “She could be tied up and in danger while we’re sitting out here talking!” She seemed to have convinced herself of exactly that, because a moment later she declared, “Alright everyone, stand back, I’m knocking the door down!”

Oh dear, that wouldn’t do at all. Not only would she catch me halfway in my outfit, but I would need a new door. I cleared my throat and yanked the mask off so it wouldn’t muffle my voice. “Don’t you dare break down my door, Rainbow Dash! For your information, I was in the shower until you started that infernal racket. What will my neighbors think?”

My lie kept the impulsive mare from breaking in, though it didn’t do anything to help Rainbow’s opinion of me. I could hear her clearly enough through the closed door. “She’s in the shower? Great, that means we’re gonna be stuck waiting out here for at least another hour.”

“Now be nice, Rainbow,” Dame Fluttershy chided. “There’s nothing wrong with a mare caring about how she looks. I wish I could have such a long, beautiful mane and tail, but it just doesn’t fit inside my armor.”

“Not unless you want the worst case of helmet hair ever,” Major Doo agreed before shouting through my door. “Sorry to bother you, but is there any way you could let us in now? It’s really important.”

Major Doo’s remark about helmet hair reminded me that I would need to tend to my mane as well. Spending several hours wearing a full mask tended to absolutely ruin it. I let out a loud, melodramatic huff. “This had better be important if you’re showing up at this hour and threatening to break down my door! Just give me a minute to dry off and put something on!” I scrambled to get the rest of the outfit off as quickly as possible while simultaneously running a brush through my mane and hastily applying enough makeup to look at least semi-presentable.

While I was hard at work, Rainbow let out a loud groan. “Can you believe this? Is she gonna ask Nightmare Moon to pause the fight halfway through so she can powder her nose?”

I could clearly hear the sound of Major Doo’s hoof meeting her own face. “Dear ancestors, Rainbow, I’m not defending you if she hears you. I swear, it’s like you took this whole Element of Honesty thing as an excuse to completely remove your brain-to-mouth filter.” She cleared her throat, then raised her voice for my benefit. “I know this isn’t the best time, but it really is important! Some of your friends have been—” There was a sudden, very loud crack as my front door suddenly collapsed of its own accord, giving all three of them a clear view into my apartment.

I let out a startled shriek and quickly darted behind the couch, calling my bathrobe in from the other room and draping it over myself to hide the bits of my outfit that I hadn’t gotten off yet. I hastily stashed the rest of it underneath the couch—hopefully the outfit wouldn’t be covered in dust or develop a musty smell before I could retrieve it. “You broke down my door!”

Rainbow groaned, burying her head in her hooves. “Derpyyyy...”

Major Doo’s ears fell flat against her skull. “Sorry. I'll pay for that. Must’ve been a structural flaw in the hinges, or maybe something inherent in the manufacturing? Rainbow’s pounding probably exacerbated it, and then—”

Rainbow half-seriously glowered at her. “Don’t try to engineer your way out of this, Derpy. You knocked the door down with your ... Derpy-ness.”

For her part, Dame Fluttershy smiled apologetically. “Sorry about your door.”

I finally managed to hide all the evidence of my secret identity, though far from well enough to satisfy me. I suppose I would just have to hope nopony was struck by a sudden urge to look underneath my couch. Not to mention I’d barely even gotten started on making myself presentable, especially since all the stress of running home and hastily disrobing had built up quite a sweat. “Well then ... come in, I suppose.”

Rainbow trotted right in, suspiciously staring around the room as though she expected the burglar to leap out from behind the kitchen sink. “Is everything okay? Some of your fellow teachers got robbed and...” She trailed off, frowning at me and sniffing. “You're awful sweaty for somepony who just took a shower. And ... well, no offense, but you’ve got a bit of a BO thing going on right now.”

I really was beginning to dislike that mare. “I was about to take a shower for exactly that very reason. I’d just wrapped up a bit of light calisthenics; I’m no athlete, but I do like to try and stay trim—especially since certain parties keep commenting on my physical skills.”

“I thought you said that you were already in the—” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “Nevermind, not important. Did you hear about the break-ins?” Her eyes instinctively flicked back to my own poorly treated door. “I mean, the other ones. Not the one Derpy did just now.”

I took a moment to figure out how much would be safe to say. “Of course, there was no shortage of gossip about what happened to High Standards last ni—wait, did you say break-ins? Plural?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow confirmed. “There was another one, another teacher from Harshwhinny's.”

“Another one?” I faked a dramatic gasp. “Oh. Oh dear. Who was it?”

“It was...” Rainbow trailed off, then glanced back to her friends. “Um ... either of you remember the name? I kinda ... got a little distracted once the Sapphire Guardian showed up? I think the name was, like, Calculator Girdle or something...”

Dame Fluttershy pointedly cleared her throat and took charge. “We were worried and wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry if Rainbow was a bit too enthusiastic, but she was worried for your safety.”

“Oh!” I smiled politely. “Well, thank you for your concern, but as you can see I am quite fine.” I paused, my eyes lingering on the now permanently open doorway. “Well, I was fine. Now I seem to have a bit of an issue to discuss with the building manager...”

Major Doo smiled sheepishly, a faint flush coloring her cheeks. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover the cost. No, better than that—I’ll upgrade it. Me-proofing your door is the least I can do to make up for all the trouble.”

Rainbow’s ears perked up. “Hey, idea! We can stay to guard you until the door is fixed. I mean, we kinda have to now, right?”

Oh dear. The last thing I needed was three nursemaids tying me down and ensuring I couldn’t do anything as the Sapphire Guardian. “That's really not necessary...”

Unfortunately, Dame Fluttershy seemed quite taken with the idea. “We just want to make sure you're okay. We don't want you getting scared about somepony breaking into your home. And since there’s three of us, taking the job in shifts shouldn’t be a problem at all.”

“Thank you for being so thoughtful, really, but I wouldn’t dream of asking you to go to so much trouble for me.” I scrambled to come up with a good excuse to get them out of the apartment. “I can stay with a friend for tonight.”

“Sleepover at my place,” Rainbow offered, grinning. “Sounds cool. We can order pizza, I can show you all my stuff from the Wonderbolts, and then we can read comics and—” She blinked and cut herself off, her ears perking up. “Oh hey, guess what? You just missed the Sapphire Guardian! She’s checking out the whole robbery thing.”

I quickly got into character. “Oh, that dreadful vigilante?”

Rainbow stared at me incredulously. “What? Are you kidding? She's awesome!”

I sniffed haughtily, putting a little bit melodrama into it to cover my tracks. “It's just so ... crude. Going out and beating criminals to a pulp with her bare hooves every night. What kind of mare would even want to do something like that? It would ruin her hooficure.”

Rainbow scoffed. “Come on, she fights crime and saves ponies and looks awesome doing it!” She glared at me for daring to question her idol. “What, would you want to teach someone trying to rob you good poise?”

I answered that with another sniff, sticking my nose primly up into the air. “Well, that was rather uncalled for.”

Major Doo sighed and casually whapped her friend upside the head with a wing. “Sorry about barging in on you like this. What Rainbow meant to say was that we heard about the trend and wanted to make sure you were okay. And since it’s our fault your apartment isn’t really safe anymore, it’s only fair that we let you bunk with us until it’s fixed.” She shrugged. “I’d invite you to my place, but my base housing doesn’t have room for four ponies.”

“I just have a room at the Sol Invictus compound,” Dame Fluttershy added. “Sorry, but I think Rainbow’s the only one with a big enough house for all of us.”

“It’s cool,” Rainbow assured us. “My place is awesome, and it’s got tons of room for everyone. Good thing being a Wonderbolt pays so well.” She grinned at me. “I’ve even got two and a half bathrooms, so it’s not a problem if you need to take one up for hours in order to get your mane just right.” She grinned and slapped me on the back in an entirely too familiar manner. “Don't worry, Rarity—we got this covered. Between the three of us, we won't leave your side until this whole break-in mess is settled. I’ll even let you sleep on my best couch.”

Major Doo nodded emphatically. “Whatever you need, we’ll take care of it. And first thing in the morning I’ll go buy you a new door and get to work installing it.”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of any reasonable way to refuse such a generous offer. Not without being rude and upsetting them all, which I didn’t want to do. Major Doo and Dame Fluttershy were being perfectly kind and admirable, and Rainbow ... well despite her numerous rough edges, she clearly meant well and wanted to help. None of them could possibly know that their assistance was going to make it nearly impossible for me to operate as the Sapphire Guardian. So I answered the only way I could. “Thank you all so much, I truly appreciate your generous offer. Could I have a few moments alone to pack my bags?”





While the remainder of the evening passed pleasantly enough, I found it hard to enjoy myself while constantly worrying about my fellow teachers. I simply could not shake the feeling that I was neglecting my duties as the Sapphire Guardian. Yet what choice did I have? Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Ditzy seemed determined to watch me like a hawk. I probably ought to have been flattered that they cared so much, but it was rather irksome to have my movements so heavily restricted on account of their well-intentioned interference.

Fortunately, they were at least willing to let me go to work without hovering over me. No doubt the presence of a few Guard investigators at the Harshwhinny Academy persuaded them that I should be reasonably safe there. Not to mention that they also had jobs of their own.

I was looking forward to at least enjoying a bit of normalcy with my students. No doubt they would all want to gossip about the Guard presence and the break-ins, but I knew a thing or two about keeping a classroom under control. Though given how many of the girls I spotted staring with great interest at the ponies in uniform, I suspected that at least some of the gossip would have nothing to do with why the Guard was here. Admittedly, there is something about a pony in uniform that is uniquely appealing.

The presence of a few comely guards was small consolation in the face of the larger problems I faced: namely, that there were ponies in danger. No, not just ponies, my friends and co-workers. And as long as Rainbow and others were determined to keep helping me, I couldn’t do anything about it. What if somepony was home the next time a break-in happened? They could end up being hurt or worse because I wasn’t there to do my job. Could I live with myself if one of my fellow teachers was hurt on my account?

Fortunately, I was not completely bereft of options. The Empress had provided me with the means of contacting her discreetly should the Sapphire Guardian ever find herself in a difficult situation. It wasn’t anything especially fancy, just a simple magical gem I could activate to let her know I needed to speak with her as soon as possible.

However, it wasn’t the Empress who responded to my call. I was in the middle of my lunch break when Lyra Heartstrings stepped into my classroom. The Empress’ personal agent waved casually at me, then strode over to a desk and flopped down into it, setting her hind legs up on top of it. “Empress sent me. What’s wrong?”

I gave her a concise summary of the last few days. “So, I need some way to get out from under their watchful eyes long enough to become the Sapphire Guardian and apprehend the criminal.”

“Uh-huh.” Her eyes narrowed. “Y’know, it’s not like you have to be the one who solves this. I know the Sapphire Guardian is popular and all, but the Canterlot Civil Guard still handles most of the crime in the city. They can catch one burglar without your help.”

“You’re probably right,” I conceded. “But if I start thinking that way, I’d probably retire from being the Guardian. Yes, the city won’t plunge into chaos if the Guardian takes a few days off, but there are always ponies who need help. Even if it’s just little things, like helping a lost little filly find her way home, I can make a difference. I can’t sit back and wait for somepony else to take care of everything. It’s just not in my nature.”

Lyra stared at me for several seconds, then shrugged. “Fair enough. I get that—if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” If not for the fact that interrupting her would have been rude, I might have pointed out that her interpretation was rather different from what I had actually said. Thankfully, she moved on from that point. “So fine, you wanna get back into action. Why not just tell them what’s going on?”

My jaw dropped open at the sheer ridiculousness of that suggestion. “Excuse me?”

“Just tell Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Ditzy,” she repeated. “Isn’t it obvious that they’re only protecting you because they think you need protection? If they knew you were the Sapphire Guardian, they’d all back off and give you space to work.” Lyra paused, a smirk flickering across her lips. “Well, Rainbow might bug you for an autograph, but Fluttershy and Major Doo wouldn’t give you any more trouble.”

“But they would know my secret,” I explained, trying to put it as simply as possible.

“So?” Lyra shot back. “The Empress knows your secrets. I know them. It hasn’t been a problem so far. In fact, it’s actually made your job a lot easier than it used to be. Besides, you’re supposed to be working as part of a team with those three and the Empress’ students. Teammates don’t need to tell each other everything, but they do need to share enough that they can trust each other. You really think you can work with them for a year and not have the truth come out at some point?”

I frowned, thinking over what she’d just said. Annoyingly, she had raised a fair point. It certainly would make my life a bit less stressful if I didn’t have to hide my dual identity from quite so many of my associates, not to mention a few accomplices could help cover for any unexplained absences on my part. However... “No, I’m afraid I’m not comfortable sharing that with them. Perhaps at some later point, but it will be at a time and place of my choosing. Not because circumstances have forced my hoof.”

Lyra’s eyes rested on me for several uncomfortable moments, but eventually she shrugged. “Your call. Just remember that secrets have a habit of slipping out at the worst possible time. If you want me to arrange a getaway for you, I can pull it off. I’ll have to call in an old favor to make it work, though. You’ll have to make it up to me.”

Ah. Being in Lyra’s debt was hardly ideal, but it seemed the best solution available under the circumstances. My only other acceptable option was to remain stuck on the sidelines. “It seems we have a deal, then.”

Lyra nodded, rising up from the desk she’d been lounging in. “Good. I’ll need a bit to set everything up. We’ll make the swap tomorrow.”





I hadn’t been sure what to expect from Lyra, but as it turned out I was in for quite the surprise. When I stepped into my classroom the next morning, I found myself face-to-face with a most unexpected sight: myself. Somehow, there was another Rarity sitting at my desk, straightening my pens and wiping down the chalkboard. “I ... what? Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“You’d think a pony who looks in the mirror as much as you do would recognize her own face.” My eyes darted up to the ceiling a second before Lyra dropped down in front of me. Normally I would have noticed her right away, but I suppose I had been understandably stunned by seeing my own double. Still, the fact that the Empress’ personal spy had been able to get that close to me without my noticing was ... troubling. “As for the rest of your questions, meet Kunai. She’s gonna take your place for the next couple days, until things settle down.”

The other me casually waved. “This one is pleased to make the Rarity-mare’s acquaintance. It assures her that it can imitate her well enough to fool any who are not intimately familiar with her.” Kunai paused a moment, her posture subtly shifting, and when next she spoke her voice sounded almost exactly like mine. “Of course, I would have preferred a bit more time to get to know you first, darling, but Lyra did provide a very detailed profile.”

Lyra nodded along. “Yup. I gave her everything she needed to know.” I noted the emphasis, and a moment later Lyra confirmed my suspicions, softly whispering to me. “I did leave out your big dark secrets. Easiest way to make sure she doesn’t give something away.”

“Thank you for that,” I murmured. 

Kunai grinned at me in a way which seemed rather odd when I was looking at the expression on my own face. “I must say, darling, it will be a rather interesting change of pace. I’ve never had to pretend to be an etiquette teacher before.” She paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “I should be able to manage well enough as long as you have some lesson plans I can work off of, and a seating chart so I’ll know all the students’ names. Is there anything I should look out for? Something that wouldn’t be in Lyra’s profile?”

Lyra shot a half-serious glower at her. “Please. My profile on Rarity has everything, unless she’s made some crazy, massive, life-altering decision in the last couple hours.”

Well, that was rather disconcerting. I didn’t like the idea that anypony knew that much about me, especially not a rather dubious individual like Lyra. I really don’t understand why the Empress seems so fond of her. Well, aside from her ability to ferret out secrets, and her seeming absolute devotion to the Empress herself. 

Which actually did rather explain it, come to think of it. Competence and loyalty are both traits the Empress approved of.

I cleared my throat and tried to put those thoughts aside, turning my attention to the changeling who would be taking my place. “There’s a seating chart in my desk, if you need to know my student’s names.” I opened up my saddlebag and deposited my lesson plans for the next few days. “That should cover everything they’ll need to learn—if I’m not done by the time you run through all that material, we’ll work something out. Is there anything else you need to ask me?”

“I believe I should be able to handle the rest of it.” She shot me a confident smirk. “If anything unexpected comes up, I’m good at improvising. I’ll just blame any little oddities on stress, or having some bad hay for lunch. Ponies almost always go for a more mundane explanation for odd behavior than ‘Rarity’s been replaced by a changeling.’”

I admit, I would have had a similar reaction if one of my co-workers were acting oddly. Or at least, I would have before this little chat. I suspected I would be a touch more paranoid in the future. “In that case, thank you for your help, Kunai. Now, if there is nothing else, I believe I have other matters to tend to.”

I began trotting towards the door, only for Lyra to step forward and block my path. “Not such a good idea. If ponies see you walk out of the classroom, then come in and see you sitting at the desk ... well, it might give things away.”

“I see.” It was rather hard to dispute her logic. “I suppose I will have to make a more discreet exit, then.”

For the record, leaving a building through the window is an even more undignified act than entering through one. Only wings could lend the act a touch of finesse, though the fact that ponies like Rainbow Dash or Major Doo were the sort to make such exits shows that just because one has wings does not actually grant one finesse. Still, I survived the experience with my body and dignity mostly intact. Thankfully I’d stashed a few things near the school just in case of an emergency like this. Hardly my full gear, but enough to for the Sapphire Guardian to rush out into the morning.

I just hoped my students would be alright without me. I’d trusted them to substitute teachers before, but this situation was rather ... unique.





Unfortunately, there were no thrilling heroics to be had once I’d assumed my alter ego. A few careful inquiries with my sources revealed precisely nothing. Though that in and of itself was somewhat revealing; if nobody knew anything about the break-ins, then it was reasonably likely I was dealing with a lone criminal rather than some grand conspiracy. Not that I expected to learn anything different, but it never hurts to confirm one’s suspicions.

From there, my course of action was both perfectly clear and utterly dreadful. It was quite reasonable to assume that there would be another break-in tonight, and right now catching the burglar in the act was my best hope for learning anything about them. Thus, I faced the prospect of one of the most offensively dull parts of any investigation: a stakeout.

As there were still several teachers whose homes had not been broken into, including my own, I had to make a choice regarding which residence to watch. After some consideration, I opted for Headmistress Harshwhinny’s home. She was the highest-ranking member of the school faculty, and thus the most prominent target. Far from perfect reasoning, but any other choice would have been equally arbitrary. Alas, the Sapphire Guardian can only be in one place at a time.

I settled in on a rooftop across the street from Harshwhinny’s somewhat modest three-story residence. It might seem odd to describe such a large residence as modest, but the Headmistress of a wealthy private school does enjoy a rather healthy income, especially given her involvement with the Imperial Games. She certainly could have afforded something a bit larger and more opulent if she’d wanted to, but thankfully the mare had good taste.

I wasn’t alone in my vigil. The Civil Guard had evidently reached the same conclusion as I had regarding how best to locate the burglar, judging by the pair of out-of-uniform guards who were trying very hard to look inconspicuous. It rather amused me that I was less noticeable despite wearing blue tights, but that was the advantage of being on the rooftops. Most of Canterlot’s citizens were not in the habit of looking at the roofs nearly as often as they did the streets.

Just as I was feeling very good about my stealth skills, somepony brought a rather obvious flaw to my attention. While I was rather well hidden from ground level, there were quite a few flying races within the city. Thus, Rainbow Dash had relatively little trouble spotting me from above, then coming in for a landing next to me. “Hey. ‘Sup?” Her attempt to play it cool might have worked a bit better if there wasn’t a giddy grin on her face.

“Hello again, Rainbow Dash.” I politely nodded, never taking my eyes off the home. “What brings you by? I thought you would be busy keeping an eye on your friend.”

Rainbow shrugged. “She’s got Derpy and Fluttershy there, she’ll be fine. Besides, I wanna be out here, where the action is.” She hesitated for a moment, then grimaced and added. “Plus they started talking about giving each other makeovers, since they were having a sleepover and stuff. Which is just ... ugh. Makeup always feels weird and gross on my face, and I really don’t get why anyone would wanna spend hours doing their mane. Any fancy style’s just gonna get messed up anyway as soon as I fly faster than a gentle breeze. Besides, my hair’s awesome the way it is.”

“And so you decided to join me instead?” I prompted.

“Well, yeah!” Rainbow beamed at me. “I mean, who wouldn’t wanna hang out with you instead of Rarity?”

Oh, I was almost tempted to take off my mask just to see the look on her face. Almost. Instead, I decided to cut the conversation short before she made any more unfortunate comments. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m in the middle of a stakeout right now, so...”

“Can I help?” Rainbow Dash asked, her ears eagerly perking up. “I’ve got awesome eyesight, and I can fly around looking for stuff if you need it. Just tell me what you want, anything at all, and I’ll get it done.”

For a moment I was tempted to brush her off. I was still a bit miffed at her rather poor opinion of me whenever I wasn’t in costume, and from what I knew of the mare she would be a rather large detriment on a stakeout. Even if she could refrain from fangirlish squealing for long enough to avoid giving me away, Rainbow had never struck me as a pony who was capable of immense patience. It was quite likely she would be bored out of her wits within an hour, and then try to alleviate that boredom by doing something unwise.

Still, I could certainly find a use for her. After all, one of the biggest problems of a solo stakeout was that I couldn’t do anything without leaving my post unattended. As my stomach was rather pointedly reminding me, I hadn’t had a proper meal since breakfast, and was unlikely to get one until I either caught the burglar or abandoned the stakeout. “If I might ask a favor, could you possibly go get me something to eat?”

“Oh.” Rainbow’s ears fell flat—no doubt she’d been fantasizing about fighting gangs of minions at my side, not running a few mundane errands for me. However, she had spent enough time working with the Wonderbolts to understand how one must pay one’s dues to get one’s hoof in the door, and a second later she smiled and nodded. “Sure thing. What do you want? I think there’s a hayburger place pretty close by, or I could run and get you a pizza. Or how about a basket of cheese fries? And some soda to wash it down?”

“Actually, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble I was hoping you could stop by this lovely little cafe I spotted a few blocks over, and pick up a salad for me. Caesar salad, with vinaigrette dressing, capers, and haybacon. Some earl grey tea to go with it, if you please.”

Rainbow stared at me for several moments, then slowly nodded. “Er ... yeah, I guess I could do that too. I mean, that’s food.” I reached back to one of my pouches where I kept a few bits on hoof, but she immediately shook her head. “Nah, I got it. S’the least I can do to help you out after all the awesome stuff you’ve done.”

I smiled and nodded gratefully, though my mask obscured the expression. “Thank you.” Rainbow grinned at the acknowledgement, then darted away.

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, nothing of interest happened between Rainbow’s departure and her return. Stakeouts really are impossibly dull. It seemed that the two guardponies keeping an eye on Harswhinny’s residence had similar concerns to my own, as one of them had trotted off to presumably acquire food as well. Or perhaps she needed to use the little filly’s room. That was certainly an issue I was staunchly hoping would not come up for me.

Upon Rainbow’s return, I noted that my salad had become somewhat more tossed than normal on account of the flight, but at least none of my tea had been spilled. One look at the hopeful grin on Rainbow’s face told me she was quite hungry for approval. “Thank you very much.”

“No problem.” She frowned, cocking her head to the side. “Um ... how you gonna eat with your mask on? I mean, if you have to take it off for a bit, that’s cool. You can totally trust me, I wouldn’t tell anyone who you are. I mean, if I even recognized you.”

That ... was actually a rather good point. A mask that completely covered my mouth made eating rather difficult. I suppose I could lift it up just enough to expose my mouth, but that would still show Rainbow Dash more than I cared to. While she probably would not recognize me just from looking at my neck and jawline, she would certainly at least know what color my coat was. And ... well, between her impulsive nature and the fact that she was supposed to be wielding the honesty element, I wasn’t entirely certain I could trust her to keep my secrets. Despite her assurances to the contrary.

I tried to let her down as gently as possible. “Actually, do you think you could fly a three block perimeter for a few minutes? Even I have a hard time being perfectly vigilant while also having dinner. I would really appreciate the help.”

Rainbow nodded, but I didn’t miss the brief flicker of disappointment in her eyes. “Uh, yeah, sure. No problem. Whatever you need.”

Once I felt Rainbow was far enough away for me to be reasonably safe, I tossed a quick privacy spell over myself for added security, then carefully lifted my mask just high enough to let me eat. Perhaps I was being a touch overcautious, but I infinitely preferred that to being undercautious. I did have a secret identity to protect, after all.

To Rainbow’s credit, my salad and tea were quite good. However, as I had warned her, I wasn’t able to keep a perfect watch on Harshwhinny’s home while I ate, which explains how I missed whatever happened to the one remaining Guard. He was simply gone when I looked up from my meal, and I noticed one of the windows had been cracked open.

I immediately leapt into action, springing down to ground level and rushing over to the window. A cursory inspection confirmed that the latch had been forced open, and after a careful scan through it I quietly slipped inside. If the burglar was in there, why not use the same entrance he had?

As soon as I was within the home I heard the sound of desks opening from the other room, as well as a voice grumbling to itself. The burglar’s voice sounded ... curious. Every few words was punctuated with a small whistle or trill—not as one might with a gap in one's teeth, these sounded almost birdlike. Even stranger was a sharp hiss, followed by a series of deep, somewhat muted staccato clicks the likes of which I had never before heard from any species I had encountered. “Not there, not there ... where is it?”

I couldn’t resist the urge to play up the drama a bit, stepping out into the living room. “Let me guess: you misplaced your keys?”

The burglar whirled around to face me.  I wasn't sure what I had been expecting, but this was ... truly alien to me. Being bipedal was strange enough in its own right, but the talons at the ends of its legs tapered into vicious-looking claws, one of which was far larger and deadlier than the others. Both its arms were similarly endowed, each of its hands defensively flaring open to bare three razor-tipped fingers.

Stranger still were its feathers. How something covered from snout to tail in feathers could go unnoticed was beyond me; the muted blue on its back tapered to black at the tips of its tail and arms—if one could even call them arms—and its mottled white belly was terribly conspicuous. The burglar's pupils shrank into slits as it sized me up, a hiss emanating from an elongated maw of serrated fangs, each sharp enough to cut through spidersilk like butter.

“Who ... what ... are you?” I had certainly never seen anything like it before—if I hadn’t heard it speaking earlier, I might have suspected it was just a monster.

The beast’s head whipped around to face me, and hissed angrily, showing me all those fangs once again. I tensed up, expecting it to charge and put those vicious talons to use, but instead it darted towards the door, trying to get out of the study and presumably the house itself. While the burglar had taken me by surprise, I recovered quickly and interposed myself between it and the way out. “Oh no you don't!” I dropped into a combat stance, doing a quick mental inventory of my equipment. “I don't know why you're here, but you will not get away. Why were you going after teachers?”

The creature halted its charge, hissing again. Then it slowly cocked its head to the side, like a bird studying its prey. “Here seeking that which was taken. It is not your concern.”

I met the burglar’s gaze levelly. “I am making it my concern.”

“Foolish!” the creature growled. “No time for foolish! Mission to complete.”

“What mission?” I demanded. “What are you trying to do?”

“Take back what belongs to us.” The burglar let out a sound halfway between a click and a whistle. “Centuries ago, the Talen-ka was stolen from us by the striped ones. My ancestor charged with guarding it when taken, family dishonored when it was stolen. Must find it and take it back to restore honor.” 

I frowned, trying to make sense of it all. “The Talen-ka? Striped ones ... you mean zebras?”

The creature nodded. “Zebras, yes. One of their traders came from their island, through the great jungles of the thunder lizards. Came to our lands, dromaed lands. Came as friend, gave strange drinks to all that weakened minds. Then traded precious treasures for trinkets and more drink.”

“Zebra island ... thunder lizards...” I recalled a few things Dame Fluttershy had mentioned about her time on Zanzebra, and suddenly it all made sense. “Your people, the dromaeds, live in the jungles off Zanzebra past the thunder lizards?” The creature’s head bobbed up and down, confirming my guess.

Well, that certainly explained why I had never seen anything like it before. Zanzebra was already one of the Empire’s most distant holdings, and from what Fluttershy had mentioned about the thunder lizards, we weren’t going to be getting through those jungles anytime soon. Twenty foot tall beasts that could swallow a pony whole made building cities a rather difficult prospect, especially when Zanzebra was already a distant outpost.

“So,” I began, trying to make sure I understood the situation properly. “This Talen-ka of yours was stolen by a zebra centuries ago, and your family has been trying to find it ever since? And I presume your search has somehow taken you all the way here?” The dromaed’s head bobbed again, and I frowned at it. “I don’t suppose it ever occurred to you to ask about it, instead of just breaking into ponies’ homes at random? If it’s the rightful property of your people, I’m sure the current owner would be willing to give it back.”

“Give?” The dromaed hissed. “Not yours to give! It belongs to us!”

“I expect the current owner doesn’t know that.” I pointed out, trying to sound calm and reasonable. “I’ve never heard of this Talen-ka of yours, or even heard of your people. It’s entirely likely that whoever has it doesn’t even know what it is, or that it was stolen from your people centuries ago.”

The dromaed snarled and shook its head. “That changes nothing. It is still ours, and it was still stolen. I will take it back, restore family honor.”

“I see.” This conversation was clearly going nowhere, so I opted for a change of subject. “Perhaps we’ve started things off on the wrong hoof. I am the Sapphire Guardian; what is your name?”

The creature answered with a hiss, click, and growl that I struggled to convert into something I was actually capable of pronouncing. “Stass?”

Stass cocked its head curiously to the side. “Acceptable. I am hristak—knight, I think? Yes, Knight of Green to srilvak of hrngarl. Is like ... praetor to ponies? Aedile? One of the ranks. I serve person of importance, must restore family honor to rise higher. Green led me here, but it is distant in this stone city. Said one of teachers in school had Talen-ka, but not which.”

I was having a bit of trouble understanding all the details, but I understood enough. “If you would come with me, I think we should speak with somebody who can settle this matter without any further trouble.” Taking the matter directly to the Empress might be a bit overzealous, but considering the circumstances I thought it prudent. The last thing I wanted to do was cause some sort of diplomatic incident by arresting a knight from a distant land. Giving him back this Talen-ka he was searching for seemed like the best solution to the problem.

The dromaed’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I will not surrender. I am Knight of Green, would rather die than surrender.”

“I promise, you’ll be treated fairly,” I assured him, “But I cannot allow you to continue breaking into homes. It’s wrong, and if you keep this up someone is going to get hurt.”

“I do not want to hurt ponies, but must complete mission.” Stass leveled one his claws at me. “Cannot allow Sapphire Guardian to stop me. Family honor must be restored, nothing is more important than that. Surrender only make dishonor worse. Stand aside.”

“I'm afraid I can't do that, darling.” I pulled out a set of cuffs and tossed them down at its feet. “I really would prefer that you just come quietly so we can sort this whole mess out without any violence. I have no intention of dishonoring you, but I can’t just let you continue doing this. Please don’t force the issue.”

Stass’s tail thrashed back and forth, his shoulders dropping in something that seemed entirely too reminiscent of a predator preparing to pounce. “Last warning. Stand aside, or I make you move. Will try to avoid vitals, but battle is dangerous.”

I sighed, resigning myself to the inevitable. “As you wish, then. I promise to do my best to avoid hurting you any more than I must.”

Both of us moved at once. Stass’s legs tensed, which I took as another sign that he was about to pounce, and countered by pulling out and hurling a thunderflash gem at him. However, the dromaed’s preparations had apparently been nothing but a feint, as he suddenly spun around and swung his massive tail at me. The move caught me off guard—in my defense, I had never fought a dromaed before and didn’t know how to read their body language. Not only did my thunderflash stone have little effect since he wasn’t facing it when it detonated, but his tail sent me staggering as it caught me across the barrel. The only good news was that I managed to turn into the blow enough to spread the impact across my chest; still painful, but it meant I would have a massive bruise in the morning rather than a few broken ribs.

I growled and settled back into my stance, shaking away the pain. “It. Is. On.”

Stass snarled feinted another pounce at me. However, this time I was able to read the bluff, and when he tried to to run for the door I was there to meet him, jumping up and kicking him in the face. “No you don’t!”

The dromaed knight hissed and spun around, trying to smack me with his tail again. However, now that I knew to watch for the attack, it was easy enough to see it coming and duck. “You can't use the same trick twice, darling.” Since I’d already dropped low to dodge his tail, I opted to sweep his legs out from under him while I was there.

Stass snarled as he fell, but the dromaed wasn’t going to make things easy for me. One of his heavily muscled legs kicked out at me as he went down, the large and viciously curved talon on the end coming perilously close to tearing a massive hole in my chest. I stumbled back in shock, letting out a frightened yelp.

“Oh, this won’t do at all.” Going hoof-to-hoof against a creature with claws wasn’t likely to end well for me. Even if I came out ahead in the end, I was likely going to end up losing far more of my flesh and blood than I cared to, not to mention it would ruin my costume. Fortunately, I had other options. I reached out with my magic and snagged one of the many drawers Stass had opened up during his search of Harshwhinny’s study, hurling it at the dromaed’s head.

Stass managed to turn his head enough to avoid the worst of the blow, but it still struck with an audible thump, and I could see a small cut and not-so-small bruise forming through the thinner feathers along his head. Stass’s head whipped around to face me, his eyes narrowing in a furious glare.

While my mask ruined the effect, I couldn’t help smirking. “Oh, you didn't like that, did you? I should apologize, but...” I reached out to Harshwhinny’s desk, snatching up several quills she’d left lying there. Very nice, steel-tipped ones that should be more than capable of ruining Stass’s day if I threw them at him hard enough.

Stass reached down to a belt attached around his midsection, pulling out a small pouch. “If you use your magic, I use mine.” He opened up the bag, and a second later a rather large and angry looking wasp darted out of it, heading straight for me.

I tried to swat it out of the way on pure instinct, but the wasp dodged past my swipe, then stung my leg. I couldn’t help flinching, and Stass wasted no time rushing in to strike while I was off-balance. Despite the rather painful distraction, I managed to block the brunt of his claw strikes, though I took several glancing hits. Thankfully my costume, now much more armored thanks to the Empress’ funding, managed to absorb the worst of the damage, though he did break the skin a few times.

However, Stass continued to keep up the pressure, and my blocks and dodges were getting narrower and narrower. Matters weren’t helped at all by the infernal wasp stinging me at the worst possible times. I finally managed to catch one of Stass’ claws in a lock for long enough to buy myself a free moment, and used that to hurl Harshwhinny’s quills at the insect. None of them managed to properly skewer the pest, but I did hit one of its wings hard enough to knock it loose, taking it out of the fight.

Stass snarled and swiped at my face, and if not for the crystal lenses in my mask I would’ve lost one of my eyes. I stumbled back, but now that I didn’t have that wasp constantly bothering me I could spare a moment’s concentration to focus on a spell. I was hardly a battle mage, but Sunset Shimmer had taken it into her head to give me a few lessons.

Stass’ next strike bounced off the wall of force I’d conjured between the two of us, and his follow up strike hit the wall dead on. Judging by the way he stepped back and hissed while shaking his wrist, that had gone about as well as punching a wall usually did.

“Ha! Take that, you ruffian!” I dropped the shield and closed in, aiming a kick at his already injured wrist. While this was hardly a formal duel, I thought it reasonably likely that we would call an end to it once one of us took a significant injury. A broken wrist would certainly qualify.

Stass shrieked as my hoof caught the delicate bones, but rather than surrender he snapped at me. I stumbled back on sheer instinct as that maw full of razor-sharp fangs came rushing towards my face. Stass charged forward while I was off balance and backing up, his shoulder catching me in the chest as his raw bulk slammed me backwards. His charge pushed me all the way back to the door, and then right through it.

For the record, being smashed through a door was extremely painful. Painful enough that after the two of us spilled onto the street, I needed to lie down on my back and take a moment to think about just how much that had hurt.

Thankfully, I managed to come to my senses just in time to see Stass’ taloned foot rushing down towards me, and I managed to roll out of the way before it hit. I stumbled back to my hooves and shook out the mental cobwebs, getting my mind back in the fight.

Stass closed in once again, but now that we were both out in the open I had a bit more room to maneuver. As he closed in I fell back, and the fight slowly moved from the open street back to Miss Harshwhinny’s immaculately groomed lawn.

As soon as all four of my hooves were in the grass, Stass grinned in a way that almost certainly boded ill for me. He slapped one of his talons down the dirt and hissed out something in his own language.

For a moment nothing happened, but then the ground shifted beneath my hooves, and when I tried to move I felt something grab my leg and hold it in place. I risked a quick look down, and could scarcely believe what I saw. The grass of Harshwhinny’s lawn had wrapped itself around my hooves, stalks and roots shifting to bind my hooves in place.

Stass grinned, showing me all his fangs. “I am hristak of Green, Sapphire Guardian. Even in your city of stones, there are places where the Green can be heard.”

I growled and tried to pull my hooves free. I made a bit of progress—Harshwhinny’s lawn wasn’t thick enough to entangle me too badly, but I would need a couple seconds of concentrated effort to get free. Stass wasn’t going to give me that long.

“Is over, Sapphire Guardian.” He lightly tapped his talons on my neck, causing no injury while making it abundantly clear that he could if he wanted to. “Worthy opponent. Glad we could fight, you were honorable. Leave me to my hunt until I take back the Talen-ka.” He turned his back on me, tapping his chin with a single claw and musing to himself. “Not finding it in teacher’s homes. Perhaps was wrong, and is in student’s home? Signs from Green hard to read...”

The instant he mentioned my students, I saw red. I reached out with my magic, snagged the largest remaining chunk of the door and slammed it into his head at a distinctly unhealthy velocity. Then ... well in the heat of the moment, even an etiquette teacher can be forgiven for saying a few unfortunate things.

“You motherbucker!” I shrieked, ripping myself free from the grass and closing in on the dromaed, smashing him hard down to the ground. “You threaten my kids?! You threaten my kids! I will rip you to pieces!”

Stass tried to get back up, and I promptly put him back down by slamming my improvised club onto his leg hard enough to produce some very unpleasant sounds. Stass fell to ground with a loud screech, clutching his wounded limb.

I wound up for another strike, but a blue and rainbow blur shot down from the roof and carefully restrained me. “Whoa! Easy there, Rarity! I think he’s had enough!”

I blinked in surprise at Rainbow Dash’s sudden intervention. Then I looked down at Stass again. Rainbow was right; the dromaed was out of the fight. In the heat of the moment, I had perhaps gone a touch overboard. Fighting to defeat an opponent was all well and good, but I had been on verge of beating him while he was down. That ... was not something the Sapphire Guardian ever ought to do, no matter how badly she was provoked.

A second later the other half of what Rainbow Dash had just said registered. “What did you call me?”

Rainbow paused, a faint blush building on her cheeks. “Um, well, your costume’s a bit torn up, and when you started calling the students at the Academy ‘my kids’ ... well, not too hard to put two and two together.”

Oh. Oh blast.





I had to make something of a hasty exit after that. It wouldn’t do to meet the authorities with my costume tattered enough to potentially reveal my identity. Even if the Empress had officially sanctioned my activities, I still preferred to remain discreet. In any case, the authorities could see to Stass from there.

I spent the evening in the simple safehouse where I stored most of my equipment, which thankfully included a first-aid kit I could use to see to my injuries. Nothing too severe, but it would be prudent to wear a cloak for the next few days so I didn’t have to face any questions about where all those scratches had come from. Perhaps I should also see about adding some more armor to the costume. Maybe mithral strike plates? If I could persuade the Empress to pay for them, that would provide increased protection without adding too much weight to my ensemble. And mithral was very receptive to enchantment...

After a good night’s rest, I was feeling much more like my old self. A few careful inquiries told me that that authorities had taken Stass to the secure wing of Midnight Memorial Hospital, and once I knew where to find the dromaed it wasn’t too hard to arrange a visit. The Empress, through Lyra, was more than willing to provide me with the needed credentials to get past the guards and meet with him in private. I had to go without the costume, since one of my outfits was in shreds and the other was sitting in my overnight bag at Rainbow’s apartment.

I stepped into Stass’ room, carefully looking him over. While the cast on his leg was ample testament to the condition I’d left him in, he seemed otherwise unharmed. Though I can’t imagine he cared for the cuffs keeping him in bed. As I approached, his head whipped around to face me and his nostrils flared. “Sapphire Guardian.”

I sighed, running a hoof through my mane. “You recognized me without the suit?”

His head bobbed. “You may look different, but you smell the same.”

Oh. I hadn’t even considered that possibility. I suppose that as long as I was upgrading my suit, I would have to do something about that as well. Surely there was some way to nullify my scent. I could just use perfume, but that might cause more problems than it solved.

I cleared my throat and tried to retake control of the conversation. “Yes, well, it seems you’ve been taken care of well enough. It only seemed proper to look in on you.”

He cocked his head to the side and blinked. “Yes. I do not enjoy confinement, but have been treated decently.” One of his confined talons waved towards the table, which had a rather large black rock covered in thin white lines. “Imperial official asked questions, I told them of the Talen-ka. Seems that mistress of school kept it on her desk. Used as a paperweight. Had no idea of its importance. Offered to return so long as damage to home was repaired, compensation paid.” The dromaed’s lips peeled back, and it took me a moment to realize he was grimacing. “I was ... foolish. Guardian was right, ponies returned Talen-ka once they knew it belonged to dromaeds. Zebra thief was long dead, ponies did not know it was stolen.”

“So you will be able to return it to your people then?”

His head bobbed again. “Must make apologies, pay debts to those whose homes were damaged. Then ... yes, Empire allows me to return home with Talen-ka, restore family honor.” His eyes flicked down to the cast on his leg. “Will need time to heal, too.”

“Ah, yes.” I had the grace to flush as he called attention to his injury. “I owe you an apology for that. I overreacted when you mentioned my students.”

“You thought I threatened them.” He let out a sound that was halfway between a chirp and a hiss. “I do not judge you as dishonorable. Chose words poorly, not used to Empire’s language. Would not hurt young, did not want to hurt any ponies. Only sought to reclaim Talen-ka. Would have taken it from any who held it.”

“Well, I suppose the important thing is that you have it now,” I answered diplomatically. I was at least relieved he wasn’t carrying a grudge over his leg. I might have acquitted myself well enough against him in our first battle, but I wasn’t especially eager for a rematch. “I do hope the Empire and your people can avoid such incidents in the future.”

“Perhaps.” He shrugged as best he could while in bed. “Dromaed lands far from here, thunder lizard territory hard to cross. Once I return home, will probably never see the Empire again. Quest is finished, no reason to leave.”

“Oh.” I suppose that shouldn’t have come as a surprise; given how far he had traveled and the nature of his quest, Stass had probably been away from his home for years. No doubt he was terribly homesick. “Well, I wish you the best of luck and a safe return.”

Stass’ head bobbed again. “Yes, my thanks. Will tell my people of honorable combat with the Sapphire Guardian. Was battle worthy of remembering.”

“I ... thank you, I suppose.” I still didn’t know what to make of Stass’ people and their strange culture, but I knew he intended to honor me with that remark. And to be honest, while I’m not terribly egotistical the idea that dromaeds on the other side of the world would know about the Sapphire Guardian was rather flattering.

With nothing more to say, I trotted out and made my way back to my apartment. As she’d promised she would, Major Doo had seen to repairing my front door, and in even better condition than it had been before she broke it. However, I discovered an unexpected houseguest when I stepped inside.

“Hey, Rarity,” Rainbow waved, seated in my favorite recliner and setting aside a book. “How’s it hanging?”

“Tolerably.” I frowned, struggling not to feel terribly suspicious of her. “What can I do for you, Rainbow Dash?”

She rose from my chair and stretched all six of her limbs. “You kinda ran off pretty fast last night, didn’t gimme a chance to say some stuff.” She held up a hoof to forestall any response I might offer. “First things first, your secret’s safe with me. And ... uh ... hope you’re not too pissed about some of the things I said about you when I didn’t know about...”

While I honestly was still a bit irked with her, a lady doesn’t bear a grudge. “Water under the bridge, darling. And ... thank you for your discretion.”

“S’no big deal,” she assured me with a casual grin, which only grew wider as she continued. “But I was thinking ... well, if you do want a partner, I’m pretty much perfect for the job now. I mean, I already know your secret identity, and that’s stage one of any superhero team-up. And we wouldn’t even have to be partners right away. I could be your sidekick for the first couple months, until I get the hang of everything. I still haven’t decided on a name, though. Maybe something like Rainbow Dynamo or Zapp Dash.”

I groaned and buried my face in my hooves.