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// Cider by Europa 
// Story: Tainted Love: A Twysalis Prompt Tag Collab 
// by Foals Errand 
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by Europa

Drunk ponies were hilarious.

No, scratch that, the idea of 'drunk' was hilarious!

Really, it was! Ponies would voluntarily make their drinks filled with microorganisms, microorganisms whose only purpose was to take in the drink and replace some of it with poison. Then the ponies would go and sell that poison, and willingly gather to celebrate occasions by drinking poison, have fun by drinking poison, or try to make themselves feel better by drinking poison! An example of the second was resting on her shell right that second as she brought her back to the library.

"And... and nopony ever seems to get it!" the unicorn ranted. "They always... always go on about how nopony can ever daaaare move the sun and moon besides the Princesses, and, and nopony knows how but they never ever seem to consider that, hey, maybe we should go to the Canterlot public libraaary. It's not like, like the Princesses published books on what spells they use to... to get around the sun and moon's incredible mass. Bunch of... bunch of ostriches. Heads in the sand."

Having visited the ostrich nation before, Chrysalis could confirm that Twilight's prejudice was entirely accurate.

"And they're... they're always so skiiitish about you! I mean, so what if you, if you invaded the capitol's nation, overpowered a goddess, and intended to turn Equestria into land of the pod ponies?" Thanks for the flattery, she thought humorously. "You're soooo nice when you're not, like, ordering changelings around and... and threatening executions." Chrysalis still didn't get why that was so frowned upon.

"Thanks, love," she said as they neared the library. "Let's get you into bed."

"Nooooo," she wailed, flailing her hooves around on the queen's back. "Don't wanna sleep. So much to dooooo. Life's too short for sleep."

Chrysalis winced at that. Unlike Twilight, she was immortal. At least, she was so long as she kept enough power that she could overwhelm Celestia. Twilight mentioning life was too short... at least the pony probably wouldn't remember that in the morning.

By that time, they'd gotten inside the library, and Chrysalis was clip-clopping her way up the stairs to the unicorn's bedroom. She reached the top and opened the door with her magic, taking care so as not to put so much strength in her magic that she tore it off its hinges... again. Then she walked inside and levitated Twilight off her back - I'm a pegasus! - and deposited her on her bed.

"Mmm, Chryssy, you know I love you, right?" Twilight slurred.

"Of course I do, love." She moved Twilight around so that, if she threw up, she wouldn't suffocate herself. "I love you too."

The pony giggled. "You're my liiiittle lovebug. You can, can, be my snugglebug tonight too."

Chrysalis shook her head. "Not tonight petal, why don't you get some sleep?" She lit up her horn again and did two things; first she put Twilight to sleep, second she conjured slime around Twilight's body to keep her from rolling out of the safe position she was in; the pony could teleport out of it in the morning.

... speaking of the morning, Twilight would be hungover after Applejack's birthday party, so Chrysalis would need to come by with water.

She sighed and shook her head. Ponies were such high maintenance. A queen's work was never done...