//------------------------------//
// Maybe He Won't Find Out What I Know 
// Story: Where Is Your Dude Tonight? 
// by Captain Whatever 
//------------------------------//

As Fluttershy opened the door to her house, Mike was really tense. He'd never really been outside his house, let alone at a girl's house, nor had he ever been invited by a girl to go anywhere, much less been spoken to by a girl. He was paranoid enough being with his good friends, but there was a girl less than a foot away from him. And she was inviting him to her house.

As they went inside the house and towards her room, Mike's thought were centered around his "impending torture."

Dear god, I left a bad impression on her. Now she's gonna paddle me until I'm dead. Or maybe she has an electric chair. Or maybe she has a whip. Or mayb—

His thoughts were interrupted by a door. It was half open and Mike walked right into the line part, causing to snap back to reality.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright?" Fluttershy appeared with her hand on the doorknob.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Fluttershy sighed, then walked into the room, which was evidently her bedroom. Mike shuddered as he stepped inside. Fluttershy noticed his unease.

"Relax, I wouldn't dream of hurting you or anyone else." While Mike still shuddered, he was more comfortable knowing he was not in danger.

"So tell me, why are you so paranoid?" And there it was. The real reason he was here. In a stranger's house, a girl's house, no less. Why he wasn't at home with his pet goldfish, Angus, instead.

"Uh, um, er, ah, uh..."

"Please tell me, Mike. I wanna help you." Fluttershy was slightly stern. Mike was on the verge of tears. However, he knew he needed to get the truth out.

"Fine. It all started when I was pretty young..."


Mike was a young boy, no older than three years old, when his luck had taken a turn for the worst. His older brother, about eighteen years old, had gone to the college downtown, or so he claimed. His older brother, Bookish Shamrock, was a very educated young man, and had gotten straight As for all twelve years of his public education. In fact, there were many colleges that had sent him letters before he had finished the sixth grade.

Lately, however, his parents had noticed some odd behavior in him. He began to stay up late and do things other than studying, reading, or solving complex equations. He began to read comic books instead of "The Crystal Castle," or "Of Mice and Mares." He began listening to My Nuclear Romance instead of Haythoven. However, his image was still retained. He combed his hair, he dressed in sweater vests, and he wore the same monocle every day except...that day.

He claimed to be going to the local college, but instead, he had decided to go drag racing. While no one really knows what happened, it affected Mike immensely. Basically, the only known thing was that Hefty had perished, and his parents didn't take it well. They both started drinking heavily. His mother, Glory Thistle, was a lightweight, so the alcohol had killed her. His father, Mighty Shamrock, was always drinking anyway, though barely any. After the deaths of his wife and eldest son, he drank at least ten bottles if beer a week, and as such, took his drunk stupor out on his only other son.

Mike had endured his father's bruising and beating him, and one time, he had woken up with more bruises than skin. However, once Mighty broke one of Mike's arms, Mike snapped. Any initial bravery had vanished without a trace, his self-esteem went out the window, and his positivity had waned away to nothingness. He began hiding in his room, crying himself to sleep at night, and making plans to escape, cursing himself for being half Irish and half Scottish.

One day, after his thirteenth birthday, as he was trying to balance a sort of budget with false money, the front door rattled with a knocking, and he left his room to answer it. He noticed his father passed out on the carpet, and shuddered. He opened the door, and just about wet himself when he saw who had knocked. There was a tall, bony, upper class man.

"Greetings, young man. Is your name Micheal Shamrock?" He nodded quickly and nervously.

"I work for the government, and I've been getting complaints from your neighbors that your father had been drinking and beating you. Is any of this correct?" Mike nodded again, close to tears.

"Well, your troubles are over. I will be taking you somewhere else, somewhere better. Have you ever heard of the United States of America?" Mike's morose appearance suddenly changed to overexcited. His mouth formed into a wide smile and his eyes grew wide and glowed really bright. The man chuckled.

"I've gotten the same reaction from many other kids. My wife's cousin lives there, and she always writes to us about how wonderful it is. And now we'll be taking you there."

Mike ran right up to the man and hugged him. The man was caught off guard, but returned the hug.

"For ten years, my father had been grieving over the death of my brother and mother. And, well, you can see how that turned out. I've been trying to leave this house for years. I even got a job so I could afford plane tickets to the next continent over." Mike raved on and on about his life. Eventually, he was back to the present. "Say, where in America are we going, anyway, just curious." The man smiled.

"New York State. Beaches, burgers, and Broadway. Better pack your bags, kiddo. We leave in just a few days." 

Days later, Mike, having departed with the man at the Scottish Airlines, arrived in New York, New York. The man, who was named Legal Transfer, had given him $250, despite Mike having said he raised plenty of money, to start off.

As he exited the airport, he noticed a sign with his name being held by a boy about his age, and he walked up to it. Once he approached, the boy pulled out his phone.

"Hello. How are you?" he said in drawn out syllables. The phone translated and spoke in his native language.

"Actually, I'm fluent in English." The boy put his phone in his pocket.

"Sorry, but I was just required to do that. Company policy, y'know?" Mike just shrugged his shoulders. They went to grab his bags and haul them, but then he stopped.

"Sorry, where are my manners? My name is Johnny Starcaster. How do you do?" He stuck out his hand, which Mike promptly shook.

"My name is...well, you know. Is there any way I can change it, though? It reminds me too much of my troubling past, and I want to forget the past. Y'know?" Jake chuckled.

"Sure. We just gotta get you registered first. You are officially moving to the USA, right?" Mike promptly nodded.

"Alrighty, then we gotta register you. Otherwise, you'll be sent back to wherever you came from."

Mike shuddered at the thought of going back. He quickly agreed to get registered, and the two were off.


"...and after that, he quit his job and we moved here, to Canterlot, where he got a job as an musician for a band similar to Green Nights. Pretty soon, he broke off with them, something about his religion. But anyway, after my father broke my arm was when I developed a severe paranoia." 

Fluttershy was stunned. Her jaw hung low, her eyes were wide with disbelief, and her hands were trembling. She stuttered for a few seconds before hugging him. Her new-found tears flowed like a burst dam.

"I'm so sorry, Mike. I had no idea you had to go through that. I'm sorry," she said through sobs. Mike returned the hug.

"Relax, miss. You did nothing wrong at all. Hell, I never even knew you existed until earlier this afternoon. You have nothing to worry about."

They hugged for a few minutes before they separated. Mike then got to surprise her.

"So do you like Alex?" Fluttershy blushed profusely.

"What makes you say that?" Mike chuckled.

"Being paranoid has its perks sometimes. For example, you blushed when I said 'Alex.' That there is a telltale sign of, in this case, strong feelings. Second, I was walking by the animal shelter earlier, before you bumped into me, and I saw you there, standing stiff as a board, right in front of guess-who himself. Third, during our performance, I noticed you were mouthing the words Alex was singing during the chorus. Speaking of our performance, fourth, you're the only one that went out of their way to watch it, and afterwards, you said you would be late for your shift at the animal shelter. You look like the kind of person who just loves animals with a passion, so for you to be late for something you practically live for is kind of odd. Face it, you have feelings for him."

Fluttershy was astonished. Not only because Mike had sorta been spying on her, but also because of the fact that he had pretty much just solved her problem. The thing was, how would she go about telling him?

"Don't worry, if you want me to tell him, I can certainly do that."

"NO!" Upon her shouting that, Mike just about fell off the bed, throwing his hands over his head.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!" Fluttershy immediately regretted having shouted so loud.

"Oh my, I am so sorry. It's just, if anyone tells him, it has to be me." Mike slowly lowered his hands.

"A-are you s-sure? B-because I-I c-c-can t-tell him i-if y-you want. Please don't hurt me."

"I don't know, I'll have to think about it." Mike nodded in understanding. Fluttershy glanced at her alarm clock.

"Oh my, it's almost nine o'clock. You should probably get home."

"I should, shouldn't I? Very well then. Great talking with you. Tally ho." He disappeared, only to return a few seconds later, soaking wet.

"There's a storm brewing, and I got caught in the worst part. I'm afraid I'll have to spend the night here." Fluttershy sighed.

"Well, I don't have a guest room, but there is a couch in the living room." Mike immediately left, saying "thanks" before he did. Fluttershy, meanwhile, slipped off her clothes, and slipped into her pajamas, before drifting off into a deep slumber.


The next day, Fluttershy was standing in the music room. Alex told her he had a surprise, and so here she was. Suddenly, he appeared, wearing a tuxedo and carrying a bouquet of flowers in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other, and on his shoulder, a dove.

"Fluttershy, oh sweet, kind, and glorious Fluttershy. While I've only known you for a day, less than twenty-four hours, I've developed strong feelings that cannot be ignored. I know I'm probably no Romeo, or Prince Charming, or your knight in shining armor, but I love you so very much. I want to be with you forever, throughout all of eternity, all the way until my death. Just answer me this: do you feel the same?"

Fluttershy ran up to him, and planted a big, sloppy, wet kiss on his face. The two were like this for quite some time.

"Hey, Fluttershy?"

"What is it?"

"Please wake up."


"Oh good, you're awake."

Fluttershy opened her eyes. Mike was right on top of her, and her arms were around him. In fact, the scene was starting to look a little kinky.

"Gah!" Fluttershy threw Mike off of her, albeit lazily. Mike landed with a thud on the floor.

"Oh my, are you alright?" She looked over at him, but instead of a face showing pain, much to her surprise, he had a goofy smile.

"Ordinarily, I'm no pervert like Johnny, but that was one awesome smooch. You're skilled, and I'm surprised you're still single." Fluttershy blushed, giggling a little.

"So, what do you need, Mike?" Mike got off the ground and stood up, brushing himself off.

"Well, it took a little figuring out, what with this place being unfamiliar and all, but I came up to tell you I made breakfast, and your alarm clock is either broken, or your a heavy sleeper."

Fluttershy sighed, as she got out of her bed and made her way to the dining room. She saw before her plates of hot, steaming food.

"I made us a traditional Scottish breakfast with the best Canterlot substitutes I could find. We have here eggs over easy, turkey bacon, italian sausage, buttered rye toast, baked beans, and I also brewed some Earl Grey tea. Care to join me?" He stood there, smiling nervously. Fluttershy smiled.

"Sure. This looks delicious." As she grabbed a fork and tried the sausage, she noticed she enjoyed the flavor and texture.

"Ig gaste dewishu oo." She swallowed, and blushed for having spoken with her mouth full. Mike just grinned.

"Glad to hear it. I've had to learn to cook for myself, after...y'know." Fluttershy nodded, hoping to avoid bringing it back up.

As she ate her breakfast, she began to think of how she would approach Alex. Pretty soon, her plate was empty, and as she rinsed it, Mike walked to the front door and looked out of it. The rain was still coming down, but not as bad as it had been last night. He continued to stare out the window, comparing the rainfall to his last few years in Scotland. He thought about how his father was doing, seeing as how Mike had pretty much kept his disappearance under cover.

Fluttershy appeared right behind him, fully clothed, holding her bag, and eager to start the school day. Mike frowned at her.

"I'm afraid that the storm has only calmed down a wee bit. You'll need this." He immediately took off his hoodie, revealing a white undershirt and an old scar on his arm. Fluttershy gratefully accepted the article of clothing, but asked if he needed it more.

"Nah, I've got plenty more at home. You go ahead and keep it."

And so they walked to school together, stopping at Mike's house so he could grab his school stuff (and another hoodie). They began talking more about Alex, and when they got to the school, Fluttershy went to her locker, Alex still fresh in her mind.

Oh, my goodness, I think I am in love with Alex. He's sweet, kind, charming...*mental sigh*...I wish I could be his girlfriend.

"Hey, Fluttershy."

"EEK!" She jumped a foot in the air. After she landed, she turned around, and was face to face with him again.

"How ya doin'?" She blushed.

"Just fine, thank you. *giggle*."

"Listen, my buds are thinking of another practice session. We thought you and your friends might wanna watch us again. Well, technically, it would be you getting to watch us again, and your friends, well, just getting to see us. Sound cool?" She nodded.

"Why, hello there, darling."

Fluttershy turned around, and saw Rarity standing there.

"Oh, hello there, Rarity. Have you met Alex?" She pointed to the boy behind her.

"I haven't, but he looks broken. Is there something wrong with him?" Fluttershy turned back to Alex, who did indeed look dysfunctional. His face was mixed between entranced and surprised.

"Well, hello there, milady. To whom might I be speaking with, and might I ask thy name?" Rarity giggled.

"Oh, you charmer." Rarity walked away, and Alex promptly followed, leaving behind a teary and heartbroken Fluttershy.

But...but...why? Why not me? What did I do to deserve this?

Throughout the whole day, Fluttershy sat through her classes, staying absolutely quiet and shedding private tears, all the while trying to figure out what went wrong. Was she just not good enough? Was she too obvious? Was she having a nightmare? Was she—wait. Nightmare? Maybe that was it. She pinched herself.


Fluttershy sprang forward, wide awake. She rubbed her arm, for it was in pain, and sighed, for it had indeed been a nightmare. She looked at her clock. 2:37. She got up out of bed, and went to her living room, where she went to sit on her couch.

"OOF! Top o' the morning to you, lassie. What can I do you for?" Mike, although not speaking to Fluttershy, but as a way of signalling he was now awake, woke up, having been awoken by the sudden weight pressing down on him.

"Oh my goodness, I'm sorry." Fluttershy immediately got up, and stood right in front of Mike, who, in a failed attempt to fully get up, slumped and fell to the ground. "Goodness, are you alright, Mike?"

"Man, I am never eating corned beef before bed again. Dreams of talking horses and all that friendship jibber jabber." He stood up, and came into contact with Fluttershy. Literally.

*clunk*

"Ow," they both said mutually.

They rubbed their heads, surprised at their bumping into, so to speak.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Fluttershy responded with the time her clock had shown.

"Wha...that early in the mornin'? On a school night, no less? Dare I ask why you got me up this early?" Fluttershy sighed.

"I can't sleep."

"*sigh* I was afraid of that. Need to talk about Alex?" She meekly nodded.

"I wanna know he's like. Is he smart, is he passionate, is he good with animals? You know that kinda stuff." Mike nodded.

"Well, Alex loves to do stupid things. Connor was able to confirm that he damaged one of his frontal lobes as a kid, so he may be somewhat loopy. He cares about other people so much, you'd think he was a saint in a past life. He's one of those guys that can't have a whole lot of sugar, or the next thing you know, he'll be the first kid on the moon. He's allergic to nuts, so he'll scream at the sight or mention of them. Also—" Fluttershy placed her hand on his mouth.

"Please slow down. I can't understand a word you're saying." She let go, and Mike sighed.

"Sorry. Never talked to a girl this long before. Anyway, Alex is usually calm, but when he gets upset about something, he shuts out the rest of the world and really changes. Trust me, you don't want to get on his bad side." Fluttershy shivered upon hearing Mike say "bad side."

"So, seeing as how we're awake at about 2:30 or 2:40 in the morning, what would you like to do? We've got a few hours before we have to leave for school. I mean, nothing too serious." Fluttershy shrugged her shoulders.

Just then, there was lightning and thunder outside. Upon hearing it, the two jumped and grabbed each other. A few seconds later, they let go, realizing the awkward scene they were making.

"So...thunder." Mike said nervously.

"Yup." Fluttershy replied.

"Wanna watch TV?" Fluttershy nodded, grabbing the remote seemingly out of nowhere.

"Say, where are your parents?"

"They're visiting my aunt in Hamburg, and they should be back tomorrow."

The TV turned on, and the news was on.

"The famous singer from the metal group My Final Fire has mysteriously disappeared. He may have any of the following aliases: Neil Footprint, Fred Shadow, or Alex Spotlight."

That last part had caught the attention of both Mike and Fluttershy. The TV then showed a picture of Alex, only with dark hair and gothic makeup and clothes. The only recognizable feature was his face.

"Wow. Alex was Goth?" Mike thought aloud. Fluttershy, however, rushed to her room, where her phone was charging. She grabbed it, and rushed back to the TV, where she rewound the broadcast. Once she got back to where she started, she recorded the entire report about the "missing singer."