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// page 7 
// Story: Dear Diary 
// by Mr Tech 
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Dear Diary,
  Today in Ponyville there was nothing interesting worth writing about. The only thing that was remotely interesting was all about me. I woke up today with this wicked headache, which means there was either way too much alcohol in my system, which is unlikely, or my head had been tampered with, also unlikely.

 And is it just me, or is the weather a lot hotter than usual? I swear it was a lot cooler yesterday. Needless to say, I sweated. A lot. So I walked downstairs to have my breakfast with mommy before she sat down in the living room reading her incredibly long book. I seriously think it’s measured in inches other than pages.

  After I’d finished my breakfast, I asked daddy if anything was wrong with me. He told me to give him a hoof, so I did. His hoof felt a lot cooler than usual. He told me to go to mommy to have a talk about the estrous cycle and how to handle it. Why? I don't know.

  Since I felt sick and kinda dirty at the moment, daddy decided that it was probably for the best if I stayed home, or went for a small walk later to get some fresh air. I’m not sure why estrous affects the strength of mare’s or why mares feel weak and vulnerable all of a sudden, but I’m sure the pad thingie daddy gave me has the answer. Somehow. Not sure why.

  After sleeping until noon to get myself more rest, surprise, I felt my heartbeat in my temple go ‘tump tump tump’ instead of ‘mmmmmmmmmmm’. A little annoying if you ask me. Anyway, I went out for a walk an hour later and the weather outside felt even warmer.

  And now for the creepy thing of the day. A black pony with a white smiley mask was tailing me on my walk, and after a while I was hit by a rock at the behind my head. Normally I can dodge a rock flying at me at speeds of up to 100mph just fine. I blame my estrous for giving me a heartbeat, lowered agility, and weaker reflexes somehow.

  I’ve been told that I had a very weak heart as a baby, so mommy and daddy actually made me an artificial one to replace that sorry excuse. Usually thumping means a filter is currently getting rid of something. That's what daddy said, anyway.

  I think it’s the hormones my heart is trying to filter. Wait, what was I writing about earlier? Oh yeah, after the rock incident that pony left. I think it was me. Plus, my hoof felt way more sensitive than it did yesterday…

  After some apple nonsense, Apple Bloom when school let out, heh, taking the family business, Bloom? Five apples later, I went home with Prism Streak (the mare I met on saturday), an empty saddlebag, and a nagging feeling of vulnerability.

  Nopony was home when I went back, and after a few hours of feeling like a butt, daddy and mommy brought in a mare and dragged her into the basement. From the looks on their faces it was either something involving neuroscience or rewiring/replacing a biological brain, both of which take a long time.

  The mare they dragged in was a unicorn somehow drunk in the middle of the day. She had a weird set of vocabulary, two tone mane and tail, red eyes and a white coat, and her cutie mark was covered by some saddlebags she was carrying.

  A bang was heard a few minutes later, and from the sound of an ouch I don't recognize half a second after that, I am 86.47% sure that that is a chip that got fired and not a bullet. Usually, the chips go through the nose directly to the brain through the tip of the olfactory bulbs and directly to the frontal lobe. 

  Typical personality changer that can change the most evil of ponies to the next Pope. I think I could build one in the basement if I wanted to, but that thing is as tiny as a grain of rice.

  They pushed the mare into a room with the flashy thing where they wear sunglasses indoor for some bizarre reasons, then they instantly knocked her unconscious once the flashy thing flashed and pulled her through the front door after taking off their sunglasses.

  After they returned home, we played a game of classic Master of Orion, and that’s about it. I’m still sweating a little, but after taking a shower I was fine. I guess it’s time for me to sleep, so that’s what I’m going to do now.

Toodles!
Tech

Rep. Al-

I don't think it’s estrous that is causing those problems. You might want to get a doctor…
A