//------------------------------// // Totally not my day. // Story: Take a second look // by posponer //------------------------------// Never really liked those 'Hero' shows after I grew up. Just didn't seem real to me anymore. Something like that happening in real life would never happen, but even more than that is the whole "I'll save you!" cliché. Let me stress it out even further. I DON'T LIKE THAT. More than the hero thing, a normal person saving someone seems even unlikelier to happen but here I was now. After I oh so Ironically 'saved' those three... uhh... Children, let's just call them the way I used to for now. I found myself in a situation. Goes to show that heroism really isn't a good thing, at least for the 'savior'. Just wasn't my day that time. Why you ask? Well, let's just say that things happened one after the other. Either that or lady luck just decided to hate me for some reason. "Alright, just you and me now ugly." I don't really know if it understands me but I'd say it does according to the slowly getting louder growling that it's doing. Maybe insults are not the best idea right now. "Woah!" The massive thing went straight for me as it pounce! No warning whatsoever... Or maybe the growling was the best giveaway, I was never good at that kind of subtle clues... Or any type of social cues for that matter. "SHIT!" All I could do now was dodge with my whole body every time it tries to pounce me or swipe at me with it's humongous claws. Now might not be the best time to think of stupid things. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to pick a fight?! Or at the very least, pick on someone your own size damn it!" I can't really continue dodging, I'd lose energy faster than this thing would. That would not end up as good as I would like to think. "GAH! Fuck! We are not the same size!" Shit. Got grazed a little, here's to hoping there isn't any poison on it's claws or that's game over. No save points. "That's it. This can't keep up like this." My stamina is almost at an end. It's now or never, got to use my hidden skill! "Come on... A little closer... Try and pounce me one last time you bastard. I'll show you." I can't really do the secret skill unless he's airborne and distracted so I have to wait, hopefully he does it soon before my stamina runs out. "NOW! RAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" Seeing the chance to do it, I immediately went and did my hidden skill, 'Running the fuck out of here.' ... What? You'd expect me to challenge something like that without weapons and armor? Like hell I could fight something like that. I have no 'Determination' to die. I'm pretty sure there isn't even a redo if I did. "See ya later sucker!" I always get the last laugh... But maybe I shouldn't have did that. *GROOOOOOOOOWL* Shit. That sounded too close for comfort. Don't look back. Don't look back. "Shit." Why did I even look back? That overgrown monstrosity was right on my tail and it does not look happy. Now I know what a mouse feels like. "Need to hide, need to hide!" I kept looking left and right to find any place I can hide to away from that overgrown cat... Scorpion... Whatever it is that definitely should be burning in whatever hell it came from that's chasing me. "God damn it. Are you seriously kidding me right now?" I was surrounded by forest before and somehow there was no good place to hide seeing as that hell spawn knew every time where I was and was following me and the next thing I see is a cliff? What the hell kind of place is this?! "A river... Hmmm... Yeah, I don't think so." Jumping from a high place? Sounds fun... If I had a parachute. No way in hell am I jumping this. *GROOOOOOOOOWL* ... Then again, I always did want to try that Leap of Faith thing from that one game. I looked back once more towards the beast, if I'm gonna die, might as well taunt the enemy. "Fuck you!" Ahh, that felt good... The wind feels nice as I fall. I kinda feel like I'm on a bungee jump without the harness, I didn't expect things would end like this but... Whatever. *Splash* "Gah!" I accidentally drank water as I hit my back on the water surface. Note to self, never go flat when diving also, never back dive... Never dive on high places in general. I quickly swam up to look if it followed me, luckily it seemed to be just looking here. At least I'm alive and even better, safe now. Or not. "Why am I putting out flags one after the other? Shit! Gotta hurry!" The fuckin thing went and gunned it! It freakin jumped the cliff to catch up with me?! It wants to keep chasing me?! "What the hell did I ever do to you damn it?!" My whole body is aching. This is the most exercise I'm getting in my whole life. I thought this world was all sunshine and rainbows?! I haven't gotten any sunshine and the only rainbow I got was a snarky, show-off. I WANT A REFUND! *Scene Break* Found a cave of some sort. Can finally relax. I think I lo... NO! No more danger flags or death flags. Stop thinking and relax me! "Guhhh, this sucks. What kind of crappy vacation was this?" The first thing I found in this forest was a chicken that in my opinion should be roasted alive, three ponies that got way over their adventuring boots and that hell spawn. Whoever or whatever decided to make this forest, the hell spawn and what other monstrosity living here should seriously get beaten up. Lots. And right then at that moment, my stomach just had to grumble, I guess I got relaxed after all. Sadly, I didn't have any food on me and with me being a prey to that damn thing, foraging for food might not be the best idea. "Hay-burgers!" I suddenly remember Sparkly's remark about the delicious 'Hay-burgers' of the school cafeteria. I'm starting to think hay wouldn't be so bad right about now. Just then my stomach rumbled again. Damn it Sparkly! Even now, her voice is taunting me. "Just you wait Sparkly, I'll get my revenge." Well, I know it's wrong to feel like this but for some reason I just had to remember her at the exact same time when she mentioned food. It can't be a coincidence. "This day sucks so bad." *Scene Break* "Huh? How long have I been out?" the sudden 'exercise' must have took a toll on me more than I thought if I slept without knowing it. *Grumble* "What was that?!" I looked around me, searching for whatever made that noise... I should probably get out of here. That overgrown cat should be tired of searching for me now. *Grumble* "Again?! What was... Oh. Damn it." I got scared by my own stomach noise. How can that even happen? I should go look for food instead of thinking about stupid stuff like this. Fearing for my life, I slowly inch towards the cave entrance to see if I'm still being followed. "Ok. Coast is clear, now where the hell was the location I came from again?" I surely love getting lost in the big out doors... I miss my internet... And fast food. Foraging might be the only way for me to eat. "Foraging... Good thing I used to be a boy scout. This should be easy as long as nothing decides to say hi." *Scene Break* "Alright, that should be enough. Quite a haul in a short amount of time if I do say so myself." the 'haul' is a collection of weird looking flora, fauna and fungi, which is fancy talk for flowers and or plants, animals and mushrooms... I think? Fish looks good, something I'd find anywhere else so this should be safe. The mushrooms... Are weird. Might not be the best idea to eat any of these but I still grabbed anything that looked edible so... Maybe I should risk it... No, bad idea. Plants are... Normal. Huh, Didn't expect any normal plants from this stupid place but guess I was wrong. Some potatoes and carrots... At least I think it's a carrot. It's brown and looks like it has arms and legs. Weird little thing but the weirdest thing I got is definitely that luminescent flower. "What the heck could this be..." It was a beautiful almost neon blue flower. Smells amazing too. This could make a good addition to the food smell wise... Or a perfume or something. *Scene Break* "Ahh that was a good dinner if I do say so myself." I was so hungry that I decided to risk it. Unexpectedly, the weird looking mushrooms tasted the best out of everything!! That carrot though... Scares me. Never have I ever seen a carrot that not only secretes red fluid but also silently screams... It SCREAMS! Though it didn't do anything else and was more or less no danger when eaten... "Full stomach, and semi safe and semi warm cave. I should camp here for the night..." With that thought in mind I decided to drift off to sleep. I never expected what would happen next though.