A small train pulled into a recently constructed station settled a few miles away from Ponyville. Seven young fillies and colts were ushered off its lone passenger car, where they gathered around a young dragon not much taller than themselves. His pony friends watched from behind a far away window as he did a little jig, complete with a twirl and jazz-claws to finish. The small ponies showed no response.
"...Well, that coulda gone better," said Applejack.
Rarity tilted her nose up. "I found it to be quite charming, if I do say so myself."
"I don't know," Fluttershy said, getting as close to the window as she could without being seen, "I hope it was enough to help them feel welcome here." Her eyes drooped to the floor. "I know I'd be pretty scared," she muttered.
After a small motion, Spike led the parade of young ponies towards their new school. As they got closer, Rainbow Dash's eyes darted between the fillies and colts while she lightly tapped a hoof. "That's it?" she asked. "There's only seven of them! Shouldn't there be more?"
"This is only our first day, Rainbow," Twilight said to her. "Princess Celestia hoof-picked these seven to be a sort of... trial class. Let us get our hooves underneath us before tackling something bigger."
Rainbow shrugged. Pinkie quivered with anticipation. "Can we got meet them now?!" she asked.
Twilight smiled. She could finally give the answer Pinkie wanted to hear. "Yes. Let's go out front."
As the cavalcade of tykes came to a stop in front of the new school, Twilight and the others walked out to greet their new students. Well, except for Pinkie: she just kind of vibrated into place.
"Welcome!" Twilight said to the youthful eyes locked on her. She gave a wave to the elegant building behind her. "Welcome to Twilight Sparkle's School of Harmony!" She took a step forward. "My name is, uh, Twilight Sparkle," she finished with a grimace. The school's name was not her idea, but it was hard to ignore the big, bold letters engraved across the building's surface. "Follow me inside, and we'll get things started!"
Seven pairs of wide eyes meandered in every direction as they paced through the institution. The school only really consisted of one long hallway with just under a dozen doors within it, but the walls and ceiling were beautifully decorated with murals dedicated to harmony and those chosen to represent it.
Twilight led them all through one of the doorways, labeled with a small plaque that read, "Miss Sparkle's Room". Inside was a typical classroom: an assortment of small desks, one larger for the teacher, a blackboard, and windows peeking out to a currently empty playground with a forest at its edge. The seven fillies and colts took their seats at arbitrary desks, while Twilight and her friends stayed standing at the front of the room.
Twilight cleared her throat and stepped forward. "Is everypony ready for their lessons on harmony?" she asked. Her genuine smile turned strained as she looked around and received no responses from her new students. She cleared her throat again and continued, "Okay! So, first thing we're going to do is run down the day's agenda. Does that sound like a good plan?" Her response this time bore no difference from the first.
Twilight gave a motion to Applejack, who slid the chalkboard to reveal another underneath. This one showed an itemized list of events planned for the day. Twilight lifted a piece of chalk with her magic, and tapped the top of the list.
"As you can see, the first thing we have for today is introductions!" said Twilight. A few of the students shifted uncomfortably. Twilight moved the chalk piece and gave the board more taps as she spoke. "After that will be a tour of the school, then your lectures on the different elements of harmony, then lunch, then in the afternoon we'll be doing activities!" Some of the students leaned in closer. Twilight continued, "After that, we'll have a brief recess before your final evaluations, and after that is graduation!" Twilight put the chalk back down before continuing. "So, to get things started, I know I said it before, but my name is Twilight Sparkle," she said. "You may call me Miss Sparkle if you prefer, and I will be your Headmistress and Magic instructor! You'll have my class first after your tour."
Twilight turned and smiled at her friends. Applejack stepped up first.
"Howdy!" greeted Applejack. "My name is Miss Applejack. I'll be teaching Honesty right after Twilight's Magic class!" Then, with a wink, "And I mean that honestly."
No one laughed. Applejack took the silence only slightly better than Twilight did. As she stepped back into line, Applejack saw Rainbow Dash roll her eyes, and shot the pegasus a quick look of pure indignation.
Pinkie Pie bounced forward. "I'm Miss Pinkie Pie, and I'll be teaching you all about the joys of Laughter!" Confetti sprang from nowhere at the end of her sentence. One of the fillies giggled, and Pinkie replied with the same. She gave Applejack a smug grin as she stepped back into place.
Rainbow Dash quickly and unnecessarily rose into the air. "I'm Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed. "You can call me 'Dash', or 'Your Awesomeness', or–" Twilight cleared her throat loudly and Rainbow grimaced. She coughed and continued, "Uh... heh. Or 'Miss Rainbow' is fine. I'll be teaching all about how awesome Loyalty is!"
Rarity rolled her eyes and stepped forward as Rainbow landed. "You may call me Miss Rarity," she told the class, "and I'll be instructing you on the benefits and implementation of Generosity."
As Rarity stepped back into line, two heavy hoofbeats caused her to flinch. Fluttershy stood tall with her chest puffed. She opened her mouth and words fell out.
"GoodMorningClassImMissFluttershyAndIllBeTeachingYouAboutKindness!"
Twilight hesitantly tapped Fluttershy's shoulder. She asked, "Er, Fluttershy?"
"Yes?!" Fluttershy turned to show an uncomfortably large smile, and Twilight retracted her hoof instantly. Seven small, curious faces peered from behind Fluttershy.
"Um... Never mind," Twilight said. She retook a forward position as Fluttershy retreated back into line, breathing heavily through a clenched grimace. Rarity patted her back, and Applejack whispered something in her ear. Fluttershy's expression and breathing relaxed.
"And, of course, you already met Spike," Twilight said to the class, waving a hoof in Spike's direction. He gave a timid wave. "He'll be our hall monitor while you're in class, and is in charge of keeping an eye on you when you're not." Twilight winked and added, "And I know he looks cute, but be sure to not get on his bad side!" Spike groaned and rolled his eyes.
Twilight cleared her throat and continued, "So now that you know all of us," she said, "it's time for us to get to know all of you!"
A few students shifted in their seats again, while others found random points in the room to focus their attention on.
A clipboard magically appeared next to Twilight, and her aura brought it to where she could read it.
"Now, when I call your name, I want you to come up and tell us your name and where you're from!"
An off-white colt sank into his seat so low that only his violet mane could be seen.
"Now then," began Twilight, "First up is... Street Smarts!"
A green colt hopped from his desk and walked forward, occasionally glancing at the fellow students he walked past. When he stopped in front of Twilight, she gave him a sincere smile, then motioned for him to turn and face the class.
"Uh... my name is Street Smarts," he began lamely, "And I'm from Manehattan."
Street looked back up to Twilight, who still wore a soft smile. She nodded and Street returned to his seat, a little quicker than he left it. Twilight returned to her list.
"Roly Poly!"
An orange colt stood up and did the same as Street Smarts. "I'm Roly Poly," he said, "And I'm from Canterlot."
"Ooh, Canterlot!" said Twilight, "I'm from there too, you know."
"Cool!" exclaimed Roly. He stayed standing at the front, but said nothing more. After a beat, Twilight gave a polite motion to signal that he could sit down again. Someone in the class snickered.
"Okay, next," said Twilight, "is... Tootie Frootie!"
A slightly overweight filly bounded to the front of the room. "Hi, everypony!" she said without prompt, "My name is Tootie Frootie, and I'm from Filly Delphia! I can't wait to be friends!" She then wasted no time getting back to her seat. Pinkie Pie giggled.
Twilight blinked a few times. "Alright," she said, regaining composure, "We have... Vroo–"
A small, midnight-blue filly bolted to the front of the room. She puffed her chest out as a light blue blanket tied around her neck fell gracefully onto her back. "I'm Vroom!" she declared. Her blanket-cape picked up a soft breeze and floated along with it. Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a disapproving look, prompting Rainbow to fold her wings back up. The cape fell again. Vroom continued, "I'm from Cloudsdale, and I'm gonna be the best Harmony student ever!"
Twilight chuckled. "I'm happy to see such enthusiasm!" she said. Vroom proudly trotted back to her seat as Twilight returned to her list. "Next we have... Once Bitten!"
A ruffled violet mane sifted around a desk's edge as the small off-white colt began his death march to the front of the room. Fluttershy stood a little taller to get a better look at him. When the colt turned to speak, his voice sounded like it was coming from two rooms down the hall.
"I'm sorry, you're going to need to be a little louder," Twilight said to him.
Once's volume improved to the point it sounded only one room away instead of two.
Twilight leaned in close and spoke softly. "It's okay," she told him, "Why don't I do your introduction for you?"
Once quivered through a soft nod.
Twilight stood back up and said, "Class, this is Once Bitten. He's from Baltimare!"
Once slowly moved back to his desk, eyes locked on the ground. He inextricably sank even further into his seat than before.
Nearing the bottom of her list, Twilight called out, "Okay... Sullen Stare!"
A dark-coated colt stood from his desk at the back of the room and slunk to the front. Once there, he turned decisively and said, "Sullen Stare. Hollow Shades." He slowly took his place again in the back, glaring at his soon-to-be teachers.
"O...kay?" Twilight cleared her throat one final time and called, "And last but not least: Whoopsie-Daisy!"
A squat, light-grey colt bounced his way forward. "I'm Whoopsie-Daisy!" he told them in a voice that sounded unfamiliar with words. "I ting Vanhoover!"
"You... What?" asked Twilight. She shook her head, and before she got a response said, "Never mind." She motioned Whoopsie back to his seat before once again addressing the whole class. "It's so very nice to finally meet you all!" she told them. "Now Spike will lead you on a tour to show you where everything and everyone is, and then we'll be ready to start learning!"
After a brief tour of the small institute, the seven students found themselves once again in Twilight's classroom, though this time with only Twilight herself standing at the front. She wasted little time in presenting her lecture.
"Magic," she began, "like all of the elements, is a very important part of harmony." She pulled a string dangling from the ceiling, revealing a collage of ponies in everyday activities. "We use magic for many of our day-to-day problems, from anything as big as a doctor performing an operation, to as small as opening a jar of peanut butter."
Twilight pulled down another picture, this one a diagram on a unicorn's bone, muscle, and nervous structures. "Magic exists within a pony's core, and is an inexhaustible resource, meaning we can use it as much as we want, and it'll never run out!" She turned with a smirk. "Though we can still get tired from using it, of course."
One of the fillies gave a small giggle. Satisfied, Twilight returned to her chart. "Now, using magic, though trivial as an adult, can often be harder for younger ponies to pick up until their horns have matured. Some of you are still a little young, but I think your horns should be far enough along for us to–"
"Um, Miss Sparkle?"
Twilight turned back to her class, butterflies in her stomach after hearing her teacher name. "Yes, Street?"
Street Smarts lowered a raised hoof. "We don't have any horns."
"What?" Twilight looked around the room. Seven faces. Seven hornless faces. "That's... uh..."
A clipboard appeared out of nowhere in front of Twilight's face. Pages flipped at a hurried velocity, first forward, then back, then forward and back again.
"Well... you see..." Two purple eyes blurred as they scoured several pages for an answer they would not find. "The thing about magic..."
Twilight gulped.
"Oh dear."
Applejack began her class with a rather detailed drawing of her home on the chalkboard.
"Now, Honesty," she said to her class, "is probably both the easiest and the hardest part of harmony. Though I may be a bit biased," she said with a wink. Applejack put her chalk down, dusted her hoof off on a mat, then took a few steps towards her class. She was pleased to see that she had their undivided attention.
"You see," she continued with a motion towards her drawing, "Honesty is a lot like working on a farm. You've gotta work hard at it, even when the weather isn't all that nice, but come harvest season you'll see that all that hard work paid off."
Applejack beamed at the faces in front of her, but they gave her bewildered stares in return.
"Uh... Have any of you ever worked on a farm before?" she asked.
A few students shook their heads. The others just kept staring. Then, Tootie flailed an excited hoof.
"Ooh!" Tootie exclaimed. "I had an ant farm once! Does that count?"
Applejack sighed. "No, darlin', I'm afraid that's not quite the same."
"Oh, good," said Tootie, lowering her hoof. "Because I stepped on it and ants got everywhere and Mom got mad and–"
"Okay, okay," Applejack said, waving Tootie down. "It's okay, not a lot of towns have farms." She looked back at her intricate, pointless drawing. Applejack sighed and regained her smile. "That's okay!" she told them. "The good thing about Honesty is that you can find it no matter where you live. Kinda like mud."
Roly raised a hoof. "We don't have mud in Canterlot," he told her. "Dad says it's dirty."
"It's mud," said Applejack, eyebrows lowering. "It's supposed to be dirty."
"So Honesty is dirty?" asked Vroom.
"No!" Applejack said, a hoof slapping to her forehead. Whoopsie mimicked the action with a smile. "It's more like... apple pie. Y'all like apple pie, right?"
More blank stares.
"Don't tell me..." stammered Applejack, "Don't tell me y'all don't like apple pie?"
It was a blank staring contest.
"Wait... have y'all even had apple pie?"
Applejack was losing the blank staring contest.
"How can y'all never have had apple pie?!" Applejack said, throwing her hooves into the air. "Apple pie is like–!"
Pinkie Pie waited quietly at her desk for her new students to arrive after Applejack's class. Well, quietly from the waist up; her legs would be pounding out the world's fastest jungle beat were they an inch closer to the front of her desk. They somehow sped up as seven fillies and colts made their way into her room. Pinkie's legs slowed back down as the last student, Once Bitten, entered with his eyes locked on the floor. Pinkie tapped his shoulder and he jumped before giving her a fearful look. Pinkie said nothing, smiled, and raised her two front hooves. Bewildered but heart still beating fast, Once kept his eyes on his weird pink teacher. Pinkie then brought her two hooves into her face, contorting it into a shape no pony's face should ever take. Once couldn't help but giggle at the spectacle. Smiling, Pinkie removed her hooves and motioned for Once to have a seat. He did so with his head held up, showing off his new smile.
Pinkie giggled and rose from her desk. "Hiya, class!" she greeted. "In case any of you forgot, my name is Miss Pinkie Pie! We're going to be learning about Laughter today!"
"Is that like apple pie?" called Vroom.
"What? What about apple pie?" Pinkie asked, now looking for baked goods.
"No, I think pie is Honesty," corrected Street Smarts.
"No, Pie is Laughter!" Pinkie said. She stood herself taller. "Me Pie, teach Laughter!"
Vroom opened and closed her mouth a few times, but said nothing. Whoopsie giggled and clapped his hooves.
"Now, this may sound like a silly question," Pinkie began, "but what is laughter, anyway?"
Her students offered no answer.
"I mean," continued Pinkie, "what is the deal with laughter?"
A few students tilted their heads, but still said nothing. Pinkie turned around and pulled a string from the ceiling, revealing a picture of some pony's shaved flank. The students roared with laughter.
"Correct!" Pinkie called over them. Then, to herself, "Oh, yeah. I've got this in the bag."
"Come on, come on, put some hustle in it!"
Rainbow Dash herded her first class into her room from the hallway. After making sure she had all seven, she closed the door behind them.
"Alright," she said to her seated class, "Who's ready to learn about Loyalty?" When no one answered, she said, "Yeah, me neither. Learning is boring, am I right?"
Tootie raised a hoof. "Miss Dash, does that mean we can have lunch early?"
Rainbow shook her head. "Not so fast, kid," she told her. "I know learning isn't fun, but Loyalty is important."
"So, uh..." Street Smarts raised a hoof before continuing. "What are we going to be doing then?"
"Well, for starters," Rainbow said, lifting an empty desk and hovering it over her students, "You can help me by moving all the desks out of the way." She placed the desk at the back of the room. "We're going to want a little space."
The students exchanged confused glances before slowly standing and following Rainbow's lead. In just a few minutes, the students were sitting in front of Rainbow on an empty floor.
"Talking is boring, so I thought it'd be way more fun to have a class about doing," Rainbow told them. "Now, for this lesson, I'm going to need two volun-tolds." Before anyone could ask what a "volun-told" is, Rainbow pointed at Whoopsie-Daisy and Roly Poly while saying, "You and you. Stand up and follow me."
Whoopsie rolled onto his hooves and Roly followed suit. Rainbow Dash led them just a few paces from where the others sat.
"Okay," Rainbow said in a hushed tone, "We're going to play a little pretend. A game, see? So, for this game, you two are best friends."
"But, Miss Rainbow," Roly interjected. Before he could continue, Rainbow prodded him in the chest.
"Best. Friends. Okay?"
Roly nodded.
"Okay, good," Rainbow said. "Wait here. C'mon, short-stuff."
Whoopsie happily followed Rainbow back to the other students, their necks stretched trying to figure out what they were missing out on.
"Now, I want you all to make a circle around Whoopsie here," Rainbow said to them. "Not you!" she shouted at Roly, who was inching back towards the group. He recoiled a few steps back.
Once the circle was formed, Rainbow said to them, "Alright, now we're going to call this exercise 'Standing Up For Your Friend'. I want everypony in the circle to pretend to be a bully."
The students all looked at one another. Tootie asked, "Um, Miss Rainbow, how do we do that?"
Rainbow slapped a hoof to her forehead. "Oh for the love of... Okay, so like this," she turned to Whoopsie, who gazed up at her with an innocent smile. "Hey!" Rainbow bellowed, "I bet your mom likes oats!"
"Oh!" said Street Smarts, "I know this one!" He stood tall and said to Whoopsie, "Your dad's job is dumb!"
"Yeah!" said Rainbow Dash, "Like that!"
"You probably can't run very fast!" added Vroom.
"Yes!"
"You're fat and stupid and dumb and nopony likes you!" chimed Tootie.
"Okay, whoa," said Rainbow, pumping her hooves. "Back it up. That was harsh. This is only pretend, remember?"
"Yeah! Stupid!" called Roly from across the room.
"Not you, Roly!" Rainbow scolded. Roly flinched and his ears flattened. Rainbow made her way towards him while the others continued with odd insults pointed in Whoopsie's direction. He looked completely unaffected by the taunts.
"Okay, now," Rainbow said privately to Roly, "I want you to go over there and tell the others that Whoopsie is your friend, and that they shouldn't be saying those things about him!"
"What?" asked Roly. He peered over Rainbow's shoulder. "But you told them to say those things!"
Rainbow slapped her forehead again. "It's just part of the game, okay?"
Roly tilted his head and hesitated before speaking again. "But wouldn't it be easier to be in the circle?" he asked. "I mean, there's more of them."
"What? No!" Rainbow exclaimed. She took Roly by the shoulders and gave him a small shake. "That's not the point! You're supposed to show that you're being a loyal friend!"
"Oh, right!" Roly said. Then his face scrunched up. "Wait, which one was Loyalty again?"
"Are you kidding me?!" Rainbow yelled. "It's–!"
The school bell sounded, and Rainbow's students shuffled out to their next class.
Rarity stood tall at the front of her classroom, an elegant smile greeting each of her students as they walked through the door.
"Good morning, class!" she said to them. "To remind you, my name is Miss Rarity, and I'll be your instructor on all the wonderful things Generosity has to offer!"
After the last of her students took their place, Rarity turned, lifted a piece of chalk with her magic, and wrote neat bullet points as she spoke.
"Generosity is unique from the other elements in that it, above all else, requires sacrifice," she told them, putting a heavy, chalky period at the end of her first sentence. "Now, while one can argue that the other elements can also ask for a pony to give up something precious to them, Generosity is the only one where this is a consistency." She made a long underline on the board. "Now, when I say that a pony has to sacrifice something, some of you may find that to be a bit of a scary thing to do." Rarity put the chalk down and turned back to face her class. "But I can assure you from experience, that things given out of the goodness of one's heart tends to lead to–"
Rarity froze as her gaze locked onto one of the students in the back. Sullen Stare met her gaze with one worthy of his name. Upon closer inspection, however, his eyes moved from hers and down to where they were actually pointing: his propped-up hind legs.
"What?" Sullen asked as though no answer would please him.
"Your legs–" began Rarity.
"Yeah, I have four of them," Sullen stated.
Rarity shook herself out of a trance. "Sullen Stare, I must ask that you remove your legs from your desk. It's not good for your posture, and is rather disrespectful."
Sullen shrugged, but did as he was told. Satisfied, Rarity made to turn back to her board.
"Now, as I was saying," she continued, "Things given from the goodness of one's–"
Rarity stopped mid-turn to see Tootie Frootie, her cheeks puffed wide.
"Tootie, are you–?" Rarity shook her head. "Are you... eating something?"
"Ahm no' ea'in' nuffin!" retorted Tootie, crumbs flying from her mouth.
"Tootie, please," Rarity implored, "Eating in class is also disrespectful, both to me and to your classmates. Not to mention distracting!"
"Ahm no' ea'in' nuffin!" Tootie said again, this time louder than the first.
Rarity clicked her tongue. "Well, for the sake of continuing class I'll pretend that I believe you, but please, don't make me ask you again. Now–"
This time Rarity caught sight of Once Bitten. His eyes were only barely above his desk, and seeing that he now had Rarity's attention only sank him further into his seat. "Once!" she exclaimed, causing Once to sink so low that he needed a shovel to go any further, "You are going to ruin your back sitting like that! Please, you must sit with correct posture!"
Once slowly rose from his seat, his timid eyes unable to look away from Rarity's stern gaze.
Rarity nodded. "Good. Now then— Sullen Stare, what did I say about your legs?!"
Crunch.
"Tootie, I swear to Celestia–!"
Before her students arrived, Fluttershy made sure the side of her head that tends to sweat the most when nervous was covered by the part in her hair. As the fillies and colts filed in, she greeted each in turn.
"Hi! Um, Hi. Um... Hi... Hi... Um..."
As each student sat, they looked at a piece of candy that rested on their desk. Roly excitedly started unwrapping his, but after noticing no one else was doing the same, he put his back down.
"Hi, um, class," Fluttershy began, "I'm, um, Miss Fluttershy, and– oh, wait, you know that already..."
The class looked at her inquisitively. Fluttershy took a deep breath, smiled, and continued.
"My name is Miss Fluttershy," she said, her composure refreshed. "And today I'm going to be teaching you about Kindness."
A few students smiled back. Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief.
"Kindness is one of my favorite parts of harmony, because it has everything to do with how ponies treat one another," she told them. She moved to her chalkboard and drew a series of happy ponies on its surface. "Everypony wants to be treated like they're somepony special, but in order for that to happen, we have to also treat everypony the same way!"
Once Fluttershy finished drawing her eighth happy pony, she turned back to the class.
"Now," she said to them, her face brimming, "who can tell me why I've put a candy on each of your desks?"
The class was silent, each head looking around to see who might speak first. It wound up being Street.
"Because," he began slowly, "you're being... generous?"
"Yes!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "Wait, no, Rarity is Generosity. Well, I mean, I guess it's generous, but it's also... kind?"
She looked around and saw a series of confused expressions.
"Oh no," she whispered to herself. She swallowed before addressing the whole class again. "Kindness is, um, lots of things!" said Fluttershy as a hidden drop of sweat made its way down her neck. "Like, um, it can be..." Her eyes darted around the room. "It can be... um... oh!" She stood herself up a little taller. "It can be when you stand up for someone! That's a really kind thing to do!"
"You mean like Loyalty?" asked Roly.
"Yes! Wait, no, um," Fluttershy rubbed her temples. "It's... It's when you make something for a friend!" she almost yelled, proudly pointing at something unseen to her students.
"Like... an apple pie?" Tootie said.
"Yes!" Fluttershy answered, turning her pointing hoof to Tootie.
"No, apple pie is Honesty," stated Sullen.
"I thought apple pie is Laughter?" asked Vroom.
Fluttershy stood with her mouth agape.
"WHAT?"
As the final bell before lunch rang, a baby dragon showed the school's students outside to a few tables. It was a pretty nice day, after all. Meanwhile, the teachers were slowly making their way to their private lounge to eat, relax, and regroup. Rarity and Fluttershy, the last of the morning's instructors, lagged behind their counterparts, deep in conversation with lunch bags in tow.
"...And that's when I noticed his hooves a fourth time, if you can believe it," said Rarity.
Fluttershy hummed and nodded, her mind elsewhere.
As they reached the door to the teacher's lounge, Fluttershy stepped inside, but something made Rarity falter.
"Er, you go on ahead, dear," Rarity said to her friend. "I won't be but a moment."
Fluttershy tilted her head, but said nothing. The door closed quietly behind her. Rarity took a few steps towards the entrance to the school, where a young filly sat alone, a blue blanket draped around her.
"Vroom?"
The dark blue pegasus from Cloudsdale turned at the sound of her name. "Huh? Oh, hi, Miss Rarity."
"It's lunch time," Rarity reminded her. She lowered her neck to ease the distance in their conversation. "Why aren't you outside with the others?"
"Oh, I don't have a lunch today," Vroom said simply.
"What?" asked Rarity in disbelief. "Why not?"
Vroom shrugged.
"Well, why can't you still sit with the others?" said Rarity, pointing lightly to the picnic tables outside.
Vroom shrugged again. "I'm not really hungry," she said, "but sometimes if I see food, I get hungry. And I don't have any food, so, yeah."
Rarity let a few moments of silence pass. A brown paper bag with three neatly drawn diamonds dropped between the two ponies.
"Here," Rarity said, giving the bag a small nudge towards Vroom, "You can have my lunch today."
"What?" Vroom looked at the bag, then up to Rarity. "But then what are you going to eat?"
"Oh, don't worry about me," Rarity said with a flick of her hoof. "I'm actually on a diet right now." Her voice lowered as she said to herself, "And I actually mean it this time."
Vroom pulled the bag close, opened it, and gave it a sniff. "Are... are you sure?"
"Of course, dear," Rarity said to her with a wink. "Just promise me you're not a picky eater, and we'll call it even, okay?"
Vroom stood herself up, stumbling slightly on her cape. As soon as she was up, she put two hooves around Rarity's neck. Rarity hesitated, then smiled and wrapped the filly in a leg of her own. A few seconds later, Vroom released Rarity's neck, snatched up the bag in her mouth, and ran off calling through grit teeth, "Fank you, Mish Rariree!"
Rarity giggled and waved at the galloping youth. "Yes, Rarity," she said to herself, "this is why we do what we do."
"Rarity?" The fashionista turned back to see Applejack's head sticking out from the teacher's lounge. "I think you better come in here. Twilight's having a... Well, she's having a Twilight moment."
"Oh dear." Rarity followed Applejack into the lounge at a quick pace.
Twilight was already deep into a conversation with herself as they entered. She sat at one of three small tables, her chin on the surface and hooves on her head. Pinkie was sitting happily on one of the other tables, her hind legs casually swaying over the side. Fluttershy stood near a window, taking occasional glances at the students outside. Rainbow sat reclined at the third table, eating her lunch with content.
"I mean, how was I supposed to know none of them would be unicorns?" Twilight asked herself while the others could only exchange glances. "Well, of course some wouldn't be unicorns. Not everypony is a unicorn, silly! But still, how am I supposed to teach about magic without... And what does mean for harmony? Do other ponies not get harmony without unicorns? That hardly seems fair... How do I teach that to a bunch of kids?!"
"Er, Twilight?" said Applejack, raising a hoof.
Twilight shook herself out of her trance. "Sorry, lost in thought," she said.
Rainbow took a bite out of an apple. "Yeah, we noticed," she said with snort.
Twilight grimaced. "Sorry again. I just had a really hard time with my first class," she told them. She took a few calming breaths before continuing. "I'll get it figured out. How did you guys do? I think that as the headmistress, I should know how all the classes are going."
"Mine went great!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, leaning forward. "I had them laughing the whole time!"
"That's great, Pinkie!" Twilight said, showing signs of relief. "Do you think they learned a lot about laughter then?"
"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked, her head tilting. "I just told you they laughed the whole time! How could they not know what laughter is after that?"
"I mean the concept of laughter!" Twilight said. A glimmer of hope left her eye. "About how to actually make laughter and why it's important as an element of harmony!"
Pinkie's expression didn't change. She didn't say anything for several moments. "I don't get it," she finally stated.
Twilight's head slammed back into the table, causing everyone in the room to flinch. Pinkie's hooves shot up to her mouth.
"I'm... sorry?" Pinkie offered.
"No, no, it's fine," Twilight replied, her voice muffled by the table. She waved a hoof in Pinkie's direction. "You can... focus on it this afternoon, or something."
Twilight unstuck her horn from the table's surface and shook her head. "Rarity, how did your class go?" she asked.
Rarity jumped at the sound of her name. "Oh, I, er, uh, um..."
Twilight's gaze slowly turned in Rarity's direction and pierced her soul.
Rarity gulped. "I'm sorry, Twilight," she finally said. "It started out well, it really did, but then one of the students needed to be taught how to sit properly, and then another, and one of them was eating snacks, and–"
Twilight waved the rest of Rarity's sentence away. "It's alright, it's alright," Twilight said to her. The alicorn then turned to her orange friend. "Applejack, what about you?"
Applejack scratched one hoof with the other and looked towards the ceiling. "Uh... We, uh... talked about... apple pie?"
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie gave a unison "Oooooh" of understanding. Twilight looked between them and held her hooves up as though she could grasp an explanation out of thin air. When none came, she lowered them back to the table.
Twilight sighed. "Okay. Fluttershy."
Fluttershy gave a small "Eep!" as attention turned towards her.
"How did your class go?" Twilight finished, monotone.
"Um..." Fluttershy hid herself behind her mane. "It was... um... fine..."
"...'Fine'," Twilight repeated.
"Um... yes... it was fine."
Twilight stared at her yellow friend. "Well, do you think the students understood their lesson?"
"Um..."
Twilight shook her head. "You know what?" she asked. "Fine is good. I'm good with fine. Fine is fine."
Applejack and Rarity exchanged worried expressions.
Twilight groaned. "Rainbow, what about you?" she asked, shifting her attention. "How did your lecture go?"
Rainbow Dash rocked herself as she took a bite out of her apple. "Yeah, I skipped the whole 'lecture' bit," she said.
Twilight blinked several times. "You... what?! You knew we were supposed to do lectures in the morning, then practice in the afternoon!"
Rainbow took another bite of her apple. "Lectures are so boring!" she said defensively. "You know that's not how I learn! So I had the kids play a game to teach them about loyalty."
"Fine. Whatever," Twilight said, rubbing a temple. "So how did your 'game' go then?"
"Er..."
"Twilight!"
Six heads turned towards a new voice as Spike leaped into the room. "You gotta come quick!"
"What is it, Spike?" asked Twilight, exasperated.
"The kids are fighting!" Spike explained, a claw pointing back out the door. "They're all ganging up and teasing one another! At least two of them are crying, and nothing I'm saying is working!"
"That's–" Rainbow began. Six heads turned towards her. She swallowed a large chunk of apple and coughed. "That's... some... really weird behavior... huh?"
Twilight glared at Rainbow for several seconds. Rainbow gave a fake smile and shrugged. Twilight shook her head and turned back to her other friends. "Applejack, could you–?"
"Yup, already on it," Applejack replied. She raced out the lounge door, Spike not far behind her.
Twilight gave a very long sigh and slowly put her chin back on the table in front of her, rubbing her temples. Her friends exchanged one more look before Twilight stated, "We have no idea what we're doing, do we?"