//------------------------------//
// 20: Forbidden Sorrows (Pt 2) 
// Story: Constant: Time Guardian 
// by TimeSpawn 
//------------------------------//

Pinkie Pie stood speechless as she watched Jethrek "walk' away. A lot of things were trailing through her mind after all that. "He certainly wants to be left alone," she thought to herself, "but the things he said he did can't have been that bad...Can they?" She decided to follow Jethrek and find out where he was going. The trip following him took her toward Sweet Apple Acres. She hid behind a bush as Jethrek looked back to see if anyone had noticed him. When he saw that nobody, nopony even, was following him, he took to flying again.  Pinkie followed quietly. She was determined to find out just how bad the actions this nameless pegasus took really were.

She was unaware that she was not the only one following him. Rainbow Dash was flying from cloud to cloud waiting until Jethrek got far enough from Ponyville before she could actually announce her presence and apologize to him. After all, she did promise to keep the fact that two extraterrestrials were present in this world a secret. Finding Jethrek was not difficult because more often than not, his perception filter did not show natural motion for the directions he was turning. The direction he was going lead toward the Everfree forest. At this point, Rainbow Dash had already  run out of clouds to hide behind or on, so she followed as stealthily as possible until this point. "You're not going in there alone, are you?" she called out.

Jethrek stopped suddenly. Pinkie Pie, who was still following too, was surprised. She was so focused on Jethrek himself that she did not notice Rainbow Dash following. She watched on as the events unfolded. Jethrek turned to face Rainbow Dash, who stopped to hover a few feet from him. "How long have you been following me, Rainbow Dash?" he asked, turning to face her.

Rainbow Dash was not surprised. Sooner or later, Jethrek was bound to have found out. "Uhm...Actually, Jethrek, I had to find you first," she admitted, "It wasn't hard, either. I mean, your disguise...projection, or whatever it's called, was not moving naturally for some of the turns you made."

Pinkie Pie had finally stopped at a bush and was surprised to hear what was spoken, and at the fact that Rainbow Dash was following him too. "That's Jethrek?!" Pinkie Pie thought to herself, surprised. Then she thought back to what Jethrek had said. "So that's what he meant!" she said, recalling what Constant had told her and the others about the Daleks.

"But anyway," Rainbow Dash went on, "I...have been following you until I called out for you."

"Why?" Jethrek asked. He successfully showed a look of annoyance on his avatar's face.

"One, I wanted to apologize to you," Rainbow Dash replied, " Two, I'd rather talk to you somewhere private than anywhere somepony could hear us. Three, you're headed for one of the most dangerous areas in Equestria!" After a few seconds, Jethrek descended to the ground. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, descending with him. "Look, I'm sorry," Rainbow Dash went on, "I really wasn't thinking when I said that...comment about your race." Now was not the time to consider her pride. "I guess I  should have thought more about your current situation. I mean---" Before she could go on, Jethrek turned off his perception filter, revealing his travel machine. Pinkie Pie peeked out more, even more surprised than she was before. Rainbow Dash heard hissing, followed by mechanical whirring. She backed up a little, moments before the travel machine opened, revealing Jethrek himself. Rainbow Dash's curiosity piqued, and she walked forward to look at him. Pinkie Pie got out of her hiding spot and walked slowly forward to see what was going on. "So this is what you are inside the machines?" Rainbow Dash asked, tilting her head in near astonishment.

"Were you expecting an equinoid form?" Jethrek asked, his eye blinking once.

"N-no," Rainbow Dash answered, "T--to be honest, I didn't know what to expect."

Jethrek looked at her carefully. "Then...you are forgiven," he said, "I wanted to make sure your apology was not...empty. Your honesty told me otherwise." Then he noticed Pinkie Pie behind Rainbow Dash. "She followed us too?!" he asked, surprised.

Rainbow Dash looked back, surprised, but when she saw that it was Pinkie pie, she sighed. "Don't worry, Jethrek," she said, "This is Pinkie Pie. She knows too."

Jethrek was relieved, but didn't show it. He turned his eyeball to look at Pinkie Pie. "I must apologize to you as well," he said, "I did not realize you were one of the ponies who Constant revealed our presence to."

"Oh, uhm...that's okay," Pinkie Pie replied, "So..." she sat down where she was. "this is what you meant, huh?"

Jethrek remembered what he had told Pinkie Pie before he ran off. "Yes," he replied, his eye looking down.

"Meant by what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"By doing unforgivable things," Jethrek replied. 

"Unforgi---" Rainbow Dash recalled her conversation with Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Ah, that."

Jethrek looked away from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie. "Stand back," he said. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash did so as Jethrek commanded the internal system to close his travel machine. After that, his perception filter turned on again, showing his pegasus avatar, looking down sadly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Pinkie Pie asked, noticing the look. 

"What makes you think that anything is wrong with me?" Jethrek asked, his avatar looking up to her and Rainbow Dash.

"Uh, it's written all over your face, Jethrek," Rainbow Dash stated, pointing to Jethrek's avatar. 

Jethrek looked at the way his avatar was being projected from a screen inside his travel machine. "It must be a malfunction in my second brain," he stated. He tried to make the avatar change it's expression, but since the perception filter was tied in with his second brain, he couldn't hide it very well. 

"Uh...it seems to be working fine to me," Pinkie Pie stated. Even she could hear the uncertainty in Jethrek's voice. 

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash agreed, "I know that this is a disguise you're using to hide what you really are from the rest of the world, but you can't exactly hide that something's bothering you."

Despite all his efforts, Jethrek found that without his behavioral regulator, he was indeed exposed, and not in the way he originally feared. "I am flawed," he said. 

"Flawed?" Rainbow Dash asked, "What do you mean "flawed"?

"I am without my behavioral regulator," Jethrek explained, "It prevents me from acting based on psychological factors that interfere with an objective, or for that matter, an entire mission."

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash looked at each other, contemplating what they heard. "So..." Rainbow Dash began..."It prevents you from...what, feeling sadness?"

"Yes," Jethrek replied

"It prevents you from feeling happiness?" Pinkie asked.

"Correct."

"And you can't even make a side trip to save a fellow...Dalek...if it meant making yourself feel good about doing so?" Rainbow Dash asked. She thought about one of the Daring Do books she read when she asked this.

"Yes," Jethrek confirmed.

"That's terrible!" Pinkie said. Jethrek's avatar looked to her. "Who says that you can't feel happiness? I mean a world without happiness is...is...Oh, I don't know! It's just really really saddening to know that such a world exists!"

Jethrek did not know whether or not to feel insulted by this. He turned to "walk" away.

"Hey, wait!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, "I...I didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything!"

Jethrek stopped. "About which? My world existing, or that we cannot feel happiness?"

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said, walking in front of him, "Look you, I don't know what your deal is. Believe it or  not, we're actually trying to make you feel better despite what happened to make you feel flawed!" 

Suddenly, they heard the sound of wood breaking. Behind them, Big Mac was carrying supplies for the farm, and the cart he was pulling had a wheel broken off. He sighed, disappointed about this situation.

"Looks like Big Mac needs help," Rainbow Dash said.

Then, an idea struck Pinkie Pie. "I've got it! Why don't you try helping somepony out of a bad situation, Jethrek?"

Jethrek looked to Big Mac and his cart, then back to Pinkie. "How would that solve my situation?"

"You'll see!" Pinke said, "Come on!" She and Rainbow Dash started running to Big Mac. 

After a few seconds, Jethrek followed too. 

Pinkie and Rainbow Dash arrived first. "Hey, Big Mac!" Rainbow Dash said, "Need a helping hoof?"

"Eyep," Big Mac replied. 

Jethrek came up from behind them. After analyzing the situation, he decided to play along. "Hmm," he said, catching the red pony's attention, "So you've got a broken wheel and a broken axle...Has this ever happened before?"

"Once in a while," Big Mac admitted.

After inspecting the cart further, he looked to Big Mac. "Do you have any rope in those supplies?"

Big Mac nodded. "What do you have in mind?"

"I can hold up the broken axle while you pull the cart the rest of the way," Jethrek replied. 

Big Mac raised an eyebrow. "Uh...Are you sure?"

"Yes," Jethrek replied.

So while Rainbow Dash tied the rope between Jethrek and the broken axle, Pinkie Pie distracted Big Mac with talk of how things were going in Ponyville. The reason for this was so that Big Mac wouldn't see Jethrek's true form while the rope was being tied. Once they were done, Rainbow Dash announced that Jethrek was ready. 

"Let's do it!" Jethrek said in an attempt to keep his cover. His avatar flapped it's wings as he ascended. With much effort, he managed to raise the cart so it was upright. Now, Big Mac could pull forward, while Jethrek pulled forward and upward to keep  the cart up. When they reached Sweet Apple Acres, Jethrek didn't stop pulling until he and Big Mac reached the barn. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, who were watching the whole time, looked at each other in anticipation. 

"Thank you," Big Mac said, "You saved me a long~ wait for help."

Applejack, who was in the barn, ran out to see what the commotion was. "Welcome home, Big Mac...Oh no, not again!" She looked at the cart carefully. "Well, no use trying to fix the axle this time...we'll either have to replace the cart entirely or make another axle."

"Well, at least he got the supplies home early," Apple Bloom said, coming out of the barn, "Remember the last few times something like this happened?"

"Who could forget?" Applejack asked, "but you gotta live with the times, good or bad."

"By the way," Big Mac said, turning to Jethrek, "you can thank---Oh, I'm sorry, I never got your name."

Jethrek looked to Big Mac, scared, now that he was capable of being scared. "Uh...uh...I'm..."

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie saw where this was going. They rushed over. "Applejack!" Rainbow Dash called out.

Applejack looked behind Jethrek to see them. "Oh, howdy, Rainbow, what's got---"

"Shh!" Rainbow shushed her, and she looked around. She whispered something in Applejack's ear.

"Huh? Wha---oh!" Applejack now had a face of realization. "Come inside, all of you!"

Everyone did so. Applejack closed the barn doors as quickly as she could. She then turned to Jethrek. "So...how does it feel, doing your first good deed?" she asked him.

Jethrek's avatar showed that he was shocked at what he just heard. He looked down. "So now you know."

"Know what?" Apple Bloom asked, confused. 

Jethrek turned off his perception filter, and Apple Bloom gasped. Big Mac, on the other hand, stood ready to defend family and friends if need be. "WAIT!" Pinkie Pie called out, standing between Big Mac and Jethrek, "Don't worry, he's friendly!" Then, it happened all at once. Jethrek opened his travel machine the second time for the day, and revealed himself to the ponies in the barn.

Apple Bloom was thinking about running out of the barn. She was scared, after all. But then, after looking at Jethrek for a few seconds more, she remembered Constant describing a creature who looked like a squid, but wasn't one. "Wait a minute," she said. She cautiously walked up to him, climbed up the "radar" dishes, and looked at him directly. "You're...Constant's travel partner, aren't you?"

"Y-yes," Jethrek admitted. All of a sudden, it dawned on him. Why was he afraid? Why was he nervous? He was not supposed to be feeling this way...and he most certainly was not supposed to feel sad or miserable about the deaths he caused...Was he? Was this what the behavioral regulator had been preventing him from feeling? Or was it what it had been...denying him? 

"Jethrek?" Rainbow Dash said, waving a hoof over his eye, "Jethrek!"

"Ye---AAAH!" Jethrek backed up suddenly. Big mistake on his part, because since the machine was open, his center of gravity had shifted. As a result, he was tilting backwards. "Ah---ah--ah!" 

Rainbow Dash rushed behind him and pushed him back up just in time. "I did NOT mean for that to happen!" she said.

"That was close!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. 

"I agree," Jethrek said. He gave the command to close the machine.

"It seemed that something was bothering you," Applejack said, "Do you want to talk about it?"



Constant was on board the Monitor after reading through several books in the library. He decided to check up on Jethrek. Turning to one of the screens, he typed in the code for Jethrek's tracker. A map showed that he was at Sweet Apple Acres. "Wonder what he's doing there?" he thought to himself. He checked Jethrek's status and was surprised to see that his perception filter was not active. "What does he think he's doing?!" He tapped into Jethrek's audio sensors to find out what was going on.

"---and if you talk about your problems, it won't sink into you so much," he heard Applejack say, "I should know. I went to a rodeo competition a few years ago, and I didn't get a blue ribbon in any of the challenges. I didn't want anyone to worry, so I didn't come home. Instead, I went to Cherry Hill Ranch in Dodge Junction to find work so I could get the money we needed to fix a hole in the roof of our farmhouse. I thought it would be better than facing my family and friends on the chance that they'd...well...be mad at me."

"So you were hoping to win the money in a contest, but didn't, and you could not bear to face what may or may not have come to you if you returned home?" Jethrek asked.

"Yep," Applejack replied, "That basically rounds it up."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Jethrek asked, not seeing her point.

Constant saw where this was going. At first, he was a little angry, thinking that Jethrek got careless turning off his perception filter. But when he heard all that, he sat on the chair at the console he was using and observed with interest.



"You're probably facing a situation like what my big sister faced," Apple Bloom replied to Jethrek's question, "You're holding back the truth about yourself, and it's hurting you inside." Applejack nodded with her sister's words. 

There was a long silence. Jethrek finally turned his machine to go to the center of the barn. When he stopped, he turned to face the four earth ponies. "It feels like what you are saying is that by admitting the truth to you, I am also admitting the truth to myself."

"That's exactly what we're saying," Applejack said, "The question is...are you strong enough to do it?"

There was another long pause before Jethrek's eye stalk faced down, and his claw arms pointed down as well. "I killed four hundred beings in the universe where Constant and I come from," he said. He never had trouble admitting this to Fluttershy because he still had the behavioral regulator. But now it was different. 

"You WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"And I had no regrets in killing every one of them," Jethrek went on, "I didn't need an excuse, except that I was following orders. It happened during wars and during invasions." His eye stalk turned to the left. "But now..." The tone of his voice turned from neutral to remorseful. "But now...I feel...guilty. I don't understand why! A Dalek should never feel this way about a mission! Those who did would be put into the equivalent of what you call psych wards."

Apple Bloom had a sad expression on her face. At first, she was terrified at what Jethrek had said. But then a thought occurred to her. "Wai--wait a minute," she stuttered, "If y'all didn't feel guilty before, then why now, all of a sudden?" She got a light tap from Big Mac, who shook his head to her.

Jethrek saw this. "Do not worry," he told Big Mac, "The question is relevant. The travel machines we Daleks use have behavioral regulators in the second brain which limit the way we think and act. Without them, emotions would distract us from completing a mission, whether it be on time or at all. Mine was destroyed yesterday when I had a nightmare."

"Well, that explains why you're feeling guilty now," Applejack said.



Constant listened to all this and at that point, all his hatred toward Jethrek seemed to start fading away from him. What Jethrek was, what he did in the past, his nature, all seemed irrelevant to him as he listened in to this. 

"So how do you feel now?" he heard Apple Bloom ask, as Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow Dash listened and watched the situation.

"I---I don't know," Jethrek admitted. "I never felt this way before. I've never felt guilt...or sadness...or even joy. Daleks are capable of feeling anger, hatred, and even fear when it is appropriate." He turned away. "I don't know what I am anymore."

"You're a Dalek," Rainbow Dash said.

"By species, yes," Jethrek said, "But I am a bad Dalek! I am violating my existence by allowing these unnecessary and interfering emotions to take over! So what does that make me?!"



Apple Bloom could no longer hold back the tears she was fighting. She ran over to Jethrek and tapped his machine with her hoof. Jethrek turned his eye stalk to look at her. "Open your machine."

Jethrek turned completely to her. "Why?" 

"Please?" Apple Bloom almost begged. 

Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were all astonished at the event that took place here. When Jethrek opened his travel machine for the second time in the barn, Apple Bloom brought herself up to face Jethrek himself. She grabbed two of his tendrils. "A--ah---" Jethrek reacted. He didn't expect this turn of events to take place. Apple Bloom stroked his tendrils with her hoof against the machine's outer shell, looking at his one eye. Jethrek was shocked. What was it Apple Bloom was doing? Why was she sad? When he blinked, he could feel something wet going down the side of his face.

Rainbow Dash cautiously approached them. "You...didn't kill anyone here, did you?" she asked.

Jethrek's eye turned to her. "No," he said earnestly, "I did not. But I tried to kill Constant when we first arrived in this universe."

"That was before you...ended up in that fancy life-support system he told us about, right?" Rainbow Dash asked. 

"Yes," Jethrek confirmed. 

"Well, at least that's one less thing to feel sad about," Pinkie Pie said.

Applejack walked up to Jethrek. "I can only guess that you feel like something heavy was lifted from you by now. Is my assumption correct?"

Jethrek pondered. It did feel that way. "Yes," he said.

Finally, Big Mac walked up. "Maybe losing your...what did you call it again? A behavioral regulator?"

"Correct," Jethrek said.

"Maybe losing that behavioral regulator wasn't a disadvantage," Big Mac went on, "Maybe it's given you another opportunity."

Jethrek's eye fully shifted to Big Mac now. "What sort of opportunity?" 

"To explore yourself," he explained, "We all have to know ourselves to understand ourselves. It's part of how we get our cutie marks." He showed his green apple cutie mark to Jethrek before turning to face him again. "We have to discover as much about ourselves as possible before our special talent is realized. What do you think you would have been if your decisions were not limited by the behavioral regulator?"

Jethrek thought about this for a moment. "But that would still make me a bad Dalek," he said at last.

"Does it?" Applejack asked, "Or does it just make you...a different Dalek?"

Jethrek blinked again, letting more tears flow down. "I...I don't know...but either way, I feel...scared."

After a few moments, Pinkie Pie spoke up again. "Hey, no more pouting!" she said, "Look, you, everyone has their own opinions about somepony after they've heard stories about him or her. You're no exception!"

Jethrek looked up to her, his tendrils trembling very slightly.

"I mean, okay, now I know you've...you know, ended lives," Pinkie Pie went on, "But I see now that without that thing that makes you think differently than if you didn't have it in the first place, you're not bad at all. Everyone's got their own opinions of what's right and wrong. What do you think you are without that mind control thing?"

"Weak," Jethrek admitted, "Because now I can no longer think of ending a life without questioning it first."

"And that's the honest truth?" Applejack asked, "That's how you feel about yourself?"

"Yes!" Jethrek replied, his voice now demonstrating his sorrow. His eye stalk pointed as low as it could. 

Once again, there was a moment of silence. It was broken when Big Macintosh spoke up. "You helped me bring the cart back to this farm. How do you feel about that?"

Jethrek looked up to him. "Why is that relevant?"

"Well, ya saved him a lot of trouble," Apple Bloom said.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash agreed, "it would have been a long wait for him if you didn't come up with that idea to help him."

"A Dalek would consider that activity a trivial matter," Jethrek said.

"But you did it anyway," Big Macintosh said, "and I did thank you for it."

Jethrek's eye turned to look at Big Macintosh. "Yes...you did."



"Come on, Jethrek," Constant said. He was smiling, and his arms trembling. For reasons even he could not comprehend, this was not a moment he wanted to miss. 



For a moment, it was quiet as everypony looked to Jethrek. They were waiting for him to figure it all out, and they were patient. Finally, he spoke. "What would have happened if I was not there in the first place?"

"I would either have to had left the cart there and gotten some help elsewhere, or taken several trips to and fro to get 
everything back home," Big Macintosh answered.

"Which would have been inconvenient," Jethrek said, thinking of how that would have turned out. 

"Yeah," Applejack agreed, "It would've been."

Jethrek looked up. If he was a pony, or any form besides a Dalek, he would have sighed by now. It was starting to make sense to him. "So...this is what it is like to receive gratitude...and not to be feared...and to help another when they most need it." This earned him curious looks from everypony. 

"How are you feeling?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Jethrek took a few moments to think before he could answer. "It feels as if a part of me has turned light...like it is not holding me down anymore...Is...this...happiness? Joy?"

Pinkie Pie brought herself closer to face Jethrek directly. "Yes! Yes it is!" she said half-excitedly.

Apple Bloom stopped rubbing Jethrek's tendrils, her eyes no longer soaking wet. "I think this is a great start for you," she said.

"I agree," Applejack said, "Who knows what else you'll learn before you go back to your own universe?"

Rainbow Dash hovered over Pinkie Pie and Apple Bloom, "Also, I've read plenty of stories where a bad guy turns good, last moment or not. I think I'm looking at one of these moments outside any story now."

Jethrek looked to Rainbow Dash, then to everypony else. "I have a lot to learn," he said.

"Eyup," Big Mac agreed.

"Stand back please," Jethrek said. They all did so, and once again, he closed his machine. "But nevertheless, when I return to my own universe, the Daleks may consider me defective and try to recondition me. Either that, or they will exterminate me."

"Well, then maybe you should consider not going back to them," Applejack suggested. 

"Perhaps," Jethrek considered.

"Maybe you could partner up with Constant to watch over the timeline," Rainbow Dash said.

"Or perhaps find a new place to live," Big Macintosh added.

Jethrek turned on his perception filter. "If it was between those two choices, I would most likely choose stay with Constant," he said, "There are too many worlds with races who know of what my race has done."

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to make a decision," Applejack said.

"Affirmative," Jethrek agreed. He hovered toward the barn doors, and Applejack and Big Macintosh opened them for him. "I think I'll go back to Ponyville and contemplate everything that has happened here." He turned to look at the five ponies behind him. "Thank you all."

"You're welcome!" Pinkie Pie said in a sing-song manner as she waved her hoof.

"Don't be afraid to come back and visit," Apple Bloom called out.

"I won't!" Jethrek called back as he flew toward Ponyville.



Constant walked outside the Monitor with a smile on his face. He walked inside the library. "Twilight," he asked, seeing that she was there, "how many ponies do you know who have only started to learn about friendship?"

Twilight looked to him as if it was a very good question, which in her opinion, it was, "Not many, but the one who I can 
definitely say is like that is Discord."

"Discord?" Constant asked. He sat on one of the chairs nearby. "Tell me about that."

Twilight told him about what happened after Discord was released from his second stone prison. 

"Sounds to me like he's closer friends with Fluttershy than the rest of you, so far," Constant observed.

"Uh...yeah," Twilight agreed.

They heard the door being pushed open by Jethrek. "No troubles on your return trip, I assume, Jethrek?" Constant asked.

"None," Jethrek replied, a smile on his avatar's face.

"And by the way," Constant said, "Congratulations. You've taken your first step to a new way of life. I'm proud of you."

Jethrek's face turned to one of surprise. "How long have you been watching me?"

"A while," Constant said, "starting from some time after you arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. I stopped once you started heading back for Ponyville."

"I see," Jethrek said, looking down a little. 

"You know," Constant said, "Maybe you should write a journal about your experiences."

"I agree," Twilight added, "Or maybe you can write a letter to Princess Celestia."

This scared Jethrek a bit, "I--I'm not sure."

"Don't worry," Twilight said, "Since she knows about the situation already, I'm sure she'll keep it secret."

"Thank you," Jethrek said. He thought for a moment. "So when can we start?"

Moments later, Jethrek dictated while Constant wrote out the letter by hand. Once the letter was finished, Twilight rolled it up and tied it with a ribbon. Spike, who was nearby, prepared to send it with his flame, when Constant remembered something. "Hold on!" he said. He took the parchment and wrote "top secret" on it. "Okay send it," he said, handing it back to Spike, who blew his flame, sending the letter to Princess Celestia. 

After everything that had transpired, Jethrek had time to think on board the Monitor. He had learned several things, one of which was that his perspective on everything was changing, especially himself. "Maybe I'm not a bad Dalek," he thought, "Maybe...I'm just an unusual Dalek...a different Dalek."