//------------------------------// // Time: Nefarious Action // Story: The Sparkle in his Eye // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Twilight stared at Qwark, dressed in a tight fitting, fetishistic nurse outfit over his superheroing outfit, complete with red wig and nurse's cap. He also had red lipstick on his lips. "Qwark...what are you wearing?" she demanded, plainly upset. Qwark scratched the back of his head nervously. "I did say I was deep undercover..." "Not the outfit!" she countered. "After seeing you crossdress on that taxi call, this is nothing. I mean that!" She pointed straight at Qwark's chest. "The...fake boobs?" Qwark asked nervously. "The name tag!" Twilight snapped. On Qwark's chest was a nametag that read 'Not Captain Qwark'. "Oh, that," Qwark replied. "Well, I told Nefarious that I hated Captain Qwark so much that I had my name legally changed to 'Not Captain Qwark' so the whole world could know just how much I despised the awful man!(1)" Qwark scratched the back of his head. "So...now, in addition to being Dr. Nefarious' personal masseuse, I'm his third in command, right behind Lawrence...who of course isn't fooled in the slightest but is happy to let Nefarious dig his own hole." Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank all stared at Qwark, their expressions a mixture of stunned, impressed, and disgusted. "How...complex...did you make the backstory?" Clank asked at last. "About a hundred pages, so far," Qwark admitted. "Been building it up every time Nefarious asks for me to talk about more reasons why I hate Captain Qwark." "...that's either very clever or very lucky," Ratchet replied slowly. "I'm not sure which." "Can we go back to never talking about this again?" Qwark asked worriedly. "The skirt does make your butt look fat," Twilight piped up. "I knew it!" Qwark grumbled, snapping his fingers and hefting his blaster. "I assume you have a plan for getting us inside?" Clank asked. "Do I ever!" Qwark began, reaching to pull something out of a pocket. "Then let's implement it and go over your designs when the power of Time itself isn't in jeopardy," Twilight suggested. "Capital idea!" Qwark proclaimed, leading them to a transport craft. As the group arrived at the trash compactor in the maintenance section of Nefarious' station, Twilight wrinkled her nose. "...could you have possibly found a worse way in?" "At least we aren't being crushed by the pistons!" Qwark offered comfortingly. The pistons began to move. Twilight stared up at Qwark, flat eyed. Qwark sighed. "I can confirm no innocent bystanders are aboard the station." "Then call Snowball." Twilight then lifted her communicator. "Aphelion! Screw sneaking around! It's time to crack this place open like an egg!" "Understood, Twilight!" Aphelion replied, and a massive explosion rocked the station. Qwark sat upon Snowball's back, staring out at the ruined wreckage of Nefarious station. "That...that was..." Twilight smirked as she stood upon one of the last pieces of wreckage. "That was satisfying," she said happily. "I am currently scanning for signs of Nefarious or Lawrence," Aphelion began. "...I am detecting a single escape pod. Two robotic life forms, only one currently active." "That would be Lawrence flying an unconscious Nefarious away," Ratchet muttered thoughtfully. "Meaning the last threat to the Great Clock has been neutralized." Alister's ship flew up into the debris field. "What happened to sneaking?" he asked curiously. "I changed my mind when Qwark led us into a trash compactor he hadn't disabled," Twilight grumbled. "Besides, watching Snowball and Aphelion tearing this place apart was cathartic." "Is...Snowball...eating wreckage of the station?" Alister asked worriedly, staring at the mecha war grok stuffing huge chunks of the wreckage into his maw." "Yes," Qwark replied numbly. "Yes he is." "If everyone would board, I have set course for the Great Clock," Aphelion intoned. Once Snowball finished stuffing his face, he climbed inside Aphelion, moving into the back of the ship. Once Qwark, Twilight, Clank, and Ratchet were aboard, Aphelion led the way to the Great Clock. Ratchet, Twilight, Qwark, and Azimuth stared around in awe as they stepped out aboard the Great Clock. "This place is...amazing," Ratchet murmured. "It's...beautiful," Qwark murmured, completely awed. "It...it's real..." Azimuth murmured, unable to tear his eyes away. "I'd always hoped and prayed...but I'd never imagined I'd actually set foot here..." "I could spend weeks learning everything this place can do," Twilight breathed eagerly. Clank blinked. "Weeks?" he demanded irritably. "I'm being generous," Twilight countered, startling laughter from everyone except Clank. "So...now it's time to correct the past," Azimuth began. "No!" Clank insisted. "The Great Clock was entrusted to me by my father Orvus! His last instruction was to not let it be used as a Time Machine!" "We came all this way to fix what had gone grievously wrong in the past!" Azimuth snapped. "We can save Kaden! We can save Vashiir! We can save everyone!" "We can risk destroying the universe-" "Shut up!" Azimuth and Clank both spun, staring at Twilight in shock. Twilight took a calming breath. "First off, we are not doing anything with the Clock as far as risking the safety of the universe until I'm sure we can do so safely. And Mommy...trust me." She then turned. "General...give me ten minutes to convince you to reconsider. If at the end of those ten minutes you still feel you must correct the past, I'll figure out how to let you do so safely. If not, we'll pursue alternative avenues of temporal tampering. Deal?" Azimuth stared at Twilight for a time, then nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "Ten minutes." (1) Inspired by a recent scene from Bad Dude and the United Terrible Coalition of Evils, a rather amusing story.