Lily - 10th of Midsummer ‘15 EoH - AfternoonLily - 10th of Midsummer ‘15 EoH - Afternoon
I’ve had a lot of bad times in my life. So has everypony else, at least, that’s what I assume. But I think that the last week is the first time what I would call a bad week aligned with what others would call a bad week. Though there were a few good things that helped me not have a breakdown as the days progressed.
The best thing was that I was in no danger of loosing my new property. Apparently, in Equestria, a land grant actually meant far more than ‘we give you ownership of this land’. Because, duh, this was an Empire of sorts, not a Republic. Therefore ownership meant that I was actually the person who owned this lot, and not simply renting it from the crown. This meant they couldn’t repossess the land, and since I owned it, they also couldn’t tax it.
The worst thing was the inspections. I had no idea that inspectors could be such a mind crushing irritation. I’d slept that first night in the penthouse, I’d been too exhausted to do anything else. I’d woken up only four hours later to a full platoon of Lunar Guard quite literally dropping in to establish a secure perimeter.
Forty two thestrals, geared up for war, and chomping at the bit to purge the entire place of the quote ‘Windigo infestation’ unquote, which their dispatcher had mistakenly told them they were dealing with. Naturally, the Lieutenant in charge didn’t believe me.
After a 5 hour interrogation, the orders were corrected, and everypony apologized, then proceed to investigate, document, and gather evidence. I assumed that was the end of that and I could go back to bed.
Nope.
I owned the land. All of it. And the things in it. Because Land Grant.
That meant I had to stay up and literally personally sign paperwork for each and every single individual item that the guard wanted to seize as evidence. Also, Equestrian Law does not count ‘a stack of papers’ as an ‘individual item’. I had to fill out over three thousand individual forms for things written on loose bits of parchment and paper. By the end of that, my signature was a sort of vaguely curved straight line.
All of that was simply for a cabinet filled with records of one project. Just. One.
Then I had to actually educate all three Staff Sergeants in basic biomantic terminology so they could understand what was evidence, and what was just a textbook, well enough to explain that to their squads so they could then begin to catalog and size the REST of the evidence.
Thank the gods they didn’t have to be replaced by Solar Guard at sun-up. I’d been literally grinding my teeth flat dreading filling out all the paperwork again. I will never be able to express my joy at learning that the Lunar Guard is just a name and not a label based on hours of operation.
By three in the afternoon, the Lunar Guard was finished. All done. Huzzah!
At three oh three in the afternoon, the same day, THEN the Solar Guard showed up with an entire motherbucking company, and THEN I had to do the entire thing all over again because the same frontal lobe-less moron dispatching orders sent the correct orders to the Solar Guard, and their messenger was delayed until twelve minutes before the Solar Guard teleported in ready to fight an entire nest of Windigoes!
At that point I’d demanded to know how many other guard groups I would have to deal with. Fortunately just the two. Royal Guards are apparently a national police force slash army guard sort of thing. Royal Guard apparently being short for Royal Equestrian National Guard. As opposed to Solar Guard, which is short for ‘Celestia’s half of the Equestrian Army.’.
To my extreme fortune, Lyra had called this a national threat, making this a military thing, not a police thing. Otherwise the Royal Guard, and the Ponyville Sheriff's Department would also have been running their own investigations too.
I decided to do my best work for Lyra’s request… And to do it for free. Who cares why and what she wanted. The mare saved me from death by paperwork!
This was the first day of the week. The rest were similar, because, orders having been dispatched, both guard units then had to, by law, carry out a full investigation each… As they had been ordered to do that, and therefore couldn’t not do it without direct orders from a Princess to stop.
I swear the bureaucracy surrounding the entire situation was actually visible around my home. Like a rusty red haze made of my pure, refined, calculated rage at the situation.
The only thing that got me through the week was Scootaloo. I wasn’t allowed to leave my property, because of investigation related paperwork-signing-every-twenty-seconds-or-so reasons, but I was allowed visitors.
Scoots dropped in every day. We talked, hung out as best we could. We swapped stories about our pasts, sticking to the good times for reasons of constant irritation at present.
I loved her stories about growing up. I wish I had had friends like Applebloom and Sweetie Belle growing up. Scoots had a million different adventures with her friends, most of which sounded like complete fiction. I’d honestly thought she was just spinning yarns until a Corporal remarked that he remembered the time the three of them broke into the Lunar Guard training camp to see if their talents were, and I quote, ‘Army Stuff’.
After that, I’d convinced Scoots to write a book about her fillyhood adventures. Make it seem like fiction, and everything in there would make for a good bedtime story.
I’d told her mostly about the times I’d gotten my hooves on some gold, usually birthday money, and the shopping trips I’d gone on with it. Nowhere near as exciting, but I’d managed to develop a healthy interest for antiques, old books, and of course, jewelry.
My father had assumed I was purchasing the stuff simply for it’s value… I never told Scoots about what he eventually did with my collection. I kept things fun. After all, it’s not every day you discover a desk made from ebony with an ivory inlay for sale.
I’d loved that desk. Sure it was on the fancy side, but rather than repulse me, that one desk had a odd charm to it.
Boring as my stories were, at least Scootaloo seemed to like them. Which was good. I honestly hadn’t thought to tell any of my interesting stories. There was more I could talk about, and we were having a good time, when the last paper was signed, and I was free to do things again, I followed up on Lyra’s advice and took Scoots out to Ruby’s Diner.
My first impression of the Ponyville Redlight district was that it was a gated community. Just a normal, regular, gated community. I had expected something more like the Red district in Haymburg; prostitutes with booths to list prices and store supplies, stages for exhibition, adult stores everywhere. This wasn’t like that at all.
This was subtle. It looked like a regular town until you looked closely. Nopony here was underage. None. There were only adults.
I didn’t realize it until I saw the many bars lining the streets, but there hadn’t been any bars anywhere in all of the rest of Ponyville. Sure, restaurants served beer and wine, but nothing hard. Here there were posters in windows offering ‘The best Whisky in Equestria!’.
There were sex shops, but not as many as I would have thought. The ones I did see had as much care and love put into them as any other Ponyville store. They weren't the rundown scuzzy places I always envisioned.
There were restaurants almost everywhere you looked. Theaters for sexual things, and theaters for normal things. Occasionally somepony in fetish gear could be seen through the crowd of normally dressed or undressed ponies, but that wasn’t the focus of this place.
This was a place made for adults. It was more than a place for sexual thrills, this was a place without children. A place where a fancy meal could be enjoyed without a crying foal. A place where adults could indulge in a smoke or a drink without ‘corrupting the youth with bad habits!’, and where entertainment for older people could be found everywhere.
The Ponyville Redlight District was a playground for grownups.
I bucking loved it!
Scoots noticed my gleeful observations and flashed me a bright smile. “I see you like the place.”
“Ja I really do!” I replied. “It’s not what I thought… It’s, well, it’s an adult’s idea of a good time. Ironically enough.”
Scootaloo laughed, and nodded. “Yeah a lot of ponies think it’s like a massive fenced off orgy space or something. Although um, there is one of those down C street.”
I snickered. “Well duh, that’s a saddle shop. There’s got to be something like that close by. It’s a rule of fetlock.”
Scootaloo tilted her head at me in confusion. “What do saddles have to do with sex?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Um, are you pulling my legs?”
She shook her head. “No… Like, do you have a clothing kink or something?”
The complete, total, and honest confusion in her voice, stance, and expression hit me like a wave. How could she possibly-
Oh sweet Faust Equestrians didn’t use saddles as bondage gear!
“Uhh, nevermind! I guess it’s just a Germane thing...” I said quickly and dismissively.
This left the question, ‘What do Equestrians use them for?’, burning in my mind like a smith’s forge, but I knew I needed to change the topic.
“So, um do you know where Ruby’s is?” I asked.
Scootaloo nodded quickly. “Yep! It’s one more street down on the left.”
“You seem to know your way around here very well,” I remarked casually.
“Well yeah, I’ve been sneaking in here since senior year in highschool,” Scootaloo giggled. “First time because I thought it was well… Your standard Red District. Then after that to get away from younger fillies, and now I come here for one of the bars… Uh…
“Ah buck it, we’re dating. I also keep coming here because I collect toys as a hobby.”
I turned my head, her remark catching me off guard. “You collect adult toys?”
She nodded, a little embarrassed. “Yeah. I don’t use most of them… I just collect them. It’s kinda neat how many things get invented to scratch that particular itch. Some are super elaborate and just sort of, well, fascinating. Others just look cool.”
It was moments like this in which I wished I had a manual for dating. Or well, it would be, this was the first time it had come up.
What do I do? How do I respond to her when she opens up with something that personal and-
“Let me guess,” I said, “you don’t use most of them because you lack the parts?”
Faust damn it brain! Why!?
Scootaloo giggled, turning a deep red as a blush spread across her cheeks. “Well… Um… Also yes.”
“I’m sorry that was a bit out of line, ja?” I apologized instantly, wishing I could slap my own brain.
“No, no it was funny!” She insisted. “You just caught me off guard… I’m used to ponies, uh… Light trotting around that sort of thing. Don’t stop though, it’s refreshing.”
Taken aback by her reply I simply nodded and uttered, “okay,” then fell into silence for a few moments.
It wasn’t long enough to be an awkward silence, just a second or two. Thankfully by the time it would have been an awkward silence we reached Ruby’s Diner, and my silence shifted into a sort of stunned quiet.
Lyra had explained that it was a Changeling owned restaurant, but she had failed to explain that would look like a place that was owned by Changelings. I don’t mean that in any sort of speciesist way, it wasn’t shabby, or run down, or anything like that. No it was built in what had to be a Changeling architectural style, because A, ponies would never think to build a structure like that, and B, it was apparently made from sculpted chunks of stone cemented together with dross.
The entire place looked like it belonged somewhere else, it didn’t fit the scheme, and broke every single rule on the book that I could remember! It was a ridged bullet shape, perhaps four stories tall, sort of like if you cut a beehive in half, and made sure the thickest part was the bottom. There were windows, but they were circular. In fact nothing about the building was square, or even angled.
It was all organic curves carved into smooth gray-white speckled stone that was polished to a glassy finish. The only non-stone structure on the entire building was a wooden signboard, elaborately carved and painted to have the words ‘Ruby’s Diner: Couples and Herds Eat For Free’ standing out from the carved out recessed backboard and painted a bright yellow.
It was impossible to not notice this building, and I think that was the entire point of it’s design.
“Heh, yeah I remember that feeling too.” Scoots said with a smile as she watched me gawk at the massive structure.
“I… It just looks so out of place!” I exclaimed disbelievingly.
She nodded. “Yeah, It’s weird, we have a clothes shop shaped like a carousel, and even that blends into Ponyville, but the giant beehive building just sticks out… I think it’s because of the roundness.”
“Ja, definitely!” I agreed.
I walked toward the entrance, which had sliding marble doors that were propped open to reveal a very lovely looking interior. The entire building was hollow, at least, at the center. There were two large loft-like rings that formed a second and third floor, leaving the center of the building free for the single massive Wisteria tree to fill the middle of the building, giving the entire restaurant a centerpiece made from its pink flowering branches.
The tree itself was planted in the middle of an artificial pond, that filled the ground level of the restaurant, and appeared to have been what the entire building was designed around as all of the windows were strategically placed so there would always be light reflected off of the pond, and thus the interior would be lit up with a soft, diffused warm glow.
Even more awesomely was that each table and seat was carved out of stone as well, making everything you could see look to be a natural formation unless you managed to spy the almost invisible seams in the rock.
“Woah…” I breathed, staring in awe at the mini grotto.
Then I did a double take as I noticed that every single server was the same exact cinnamon furred, deep purple mane done up in a youthful bun, grass green eyed unicorn mare, with the same exact heart-shaped ruby cutiemark.
It took me about six seconds to realize that they all had to be changelings, but for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just walk walk around openly. Jade enjoyed being a pegasus, but she spent most of her time in her real-
“Welcome to Ruby’s!” One of the masses of identical mares greeted. “I’ll be your server today, my name is Ruby. Just the two of you today or are you expecting more?”
“Just us two,” I answered after a half moment. Then with a quick tail swish as I remembered I added. “Right! Lyra Heartstrings said we could use her table.”
‘Ruby’ nodded. “Okay, did she give you the reservation password?”
“What password.” I said after a moment’s thought.
“Eh, close enough,” ‘Ruby’ giggled. “It’s actually ‘the password is what password.’, as in, the whole phrase. If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to the table. You’re fortunate to have a friend with a permanent reservation, we are booked for the next two days right now.”
“If you are booked for multiple days, why do you sell permanent reservations?” I asked curiously.
“Ms. Heartstrings and Ms. Bon-bon are here almost every night, and will often assist our Workers in transporting charged emote stones to our settlement. Most ponies do not get offered a permanent table.” ‘Ruby’ explained as she led us up to the first of the wrap around lofts.
“Oh! So your hive uses this place as a sort of food exchange?” Scootaloo asked curiously.
‘Ruby’ flinched a little bit as the word ‘hive was used. “Yes miss. We grow everything we use here. Your emotional energy is effectively used as a food exchange to allow us a form of agriculture… I-if you wouldn’t mind, please call it a ‘settlement’.”
“Oh! Right, sorry.” Scoots apologized.
‘Ruby’ sat us down on a table with two seats right next to the edge of the loft. From this angle, a thin but sturdy looking quartz sheet formed a railing around the edge. The only reason I knew it was quartz and was even there was the rough top edge’s white line that appeared to hover in the air due to the sides being perfectly smooth and the crystal literally flawless! It was literally almost as clear as the air itself.
“I’ll be back in a moment with water and our complimentary all you can eat baked potatoes. Do you have any idea of what you’d like to order at this time?” The waitress asked politely.
I shook my head. Scoots did as well.
“Then I’ll be back in a moment.” Ruby insisted before quickly trotting off.
The moment she was out of sight I asked, “what was that about?”
Scoots blinked before nodding to herself. “Oh, the hive thing?”
I nodded. “Ja.”
“Rubies are… a bit neurotic. Like, all of them.” Scoots informed with a sad sigh. “They are super shy about people knowing they are changelings. I hear their queen makes Fluttershy look like Pinkie. The ones that can openly work like this are the brave ones… and even they can’t not be shifted around non-changelings.”
“So… They know we all know they are Changelings, because they openly run this place as a changeling owned diner, but can’t handle people knowing that they individually themselves, are in fact, changelings?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes.” Scoots said nodding.
“That’s like... Literally crazy!” I exclaimed.
“Yes.” Scoots said again. “So don’t be a dick about it, they can’t help it.”
“Sorry, but, first time hearing about it.” I objected. “I think I’m allowed to be surprised.”
“Well, yeah, but still seriously… They give out free food. Be nice.” Scoots said with a sigh. “Let’s take your mind off of it… Ummm… Why don’t you tell me about your friend? You know the one you said you gave shifting powers too. That sounds cool!”
Well, at least that was a good story. At least, a good story in my opinion.
“Alright,” I agreed thinking back for a minute to try and find the right words.
“Around two months ago,” I began, “I was living in a tiny town in Stalliongrad. I’d moved there after college to get away from my family. I had figured that as a proper wizard with some general knowledge, I could make something of myself there… It’s a notoriously poor and underdeveloped nation.
“Turns out they are poor because they have jack shit in terms of resources to trade, and they are underdeveloped because they are a superstitious bunch of idiots who think high arcana is unnatural… So basically after being run out of three towns I decided to just be like ‘buck it’ and joined a town guard.
“I mean, if you can’t use your skills because ‘Teh heresy!’ you might as well take the job anypony can do und hold a stick while looking at things in the distance.”
“What’s this have to do with your friend?” Scoots asked curiously.
“Well, I met him there.” My captain knew I wasn’t at all happy with the job. So when he wanted someone to escort two people out of the country as quickly as possible because he believed, und rightly so, that the Swarm would burn a kilometer wide swath of land in a straight line looking for them, he picked me. Er, that is to say, he discharged me under the condition that I escort them out of the country.
“Now the friend in question is technically a Diamond Dog. His name is David, he’s a really nice guy. Not at all the brutish thugs you picture. He doesn't talk about his past too much, but well… He’s not from around here, like at all. I guess the Diamond Dogs where he’s from are much more civilized.”
“Huh… So he’s not from Canidia?” Scoots asked as our waitress returned with glasses of water, a huge plate of baked potatoes and chives, and two menus.
I shook my head. “Nein. He never said exactly where, but it’s not on this continent.”
“R-really?” Scoots asked in surprise.
“Ja! I was surprised too. But that’s not important,” I continued. ”What is important is he’s a short, skinny, oddly proportioned Diamond Dog who is very nice. Personally I think because he was a soldier und surgeon. Uh, Combat Medic he called it.
“You know that military bearing of a proper soldier? He’s got it. He also acts a lot older than his age… But well, Diamond Dogs here are near-feral tribals who if I remember correctly still raid even Equestrian border towns for food and prisoners…”
Scootaloo nodded with a wince. “Yeah… A tribe of them used to have a mine near Ponyville. My moms’ friend Rarity was captured by them once… It was a close call. She’s lucky her talent lets her magically locate gemstones.”
I nodded. “Ja, that would be a boon. But David… He’s like a pony in a Dog’s body. Und as we traveled, well, he was treated with suspicion. Und I knew that he would never be allowed to settle here if he remained a dog, or if he would, the justified speciesism would follow him for the rest of his life.
“So I had to fix it… I thought about changing his species, but I dont have the mana to do that in one go, und we didn’t have the year it would take me to do it safely given my low manna reserve. Now, the other person, whom I also befriended, is a changeling. Her name’s Jade, you probably recognise the name. Cux Politics.”
Scootaloo giggled. “Actually, no. I don’t keep up with that silly stuff.”
I gave a sage nod. “Ah, well anyways, she’s a changeling. Which made me realize that I could easily create and graft a new organ to David in a single spell, und that if the organ was whatever allowed a changeling to shapeshift, that I could potentially make a simpler version, und give David a single other body to call his own.
“The problem was I didn’t know what made changelings tick, und I knew that it would take me a very long time to work out how they did even if I had a tissue sample to work from. This is where I got lucky.
“On the same ship the three of us were taking to Zebrica, I ran into an Old Biomancer, one of the ones forced to work on… Er, well, one of the ones which were forced to make the spell which bucked up our entire nation. He offered to teach me some new techniques and spells, und I agreed.
“While this was going on the ship was attacked by a siren, und Jade managed to kill it, but got a leg shot off in the process. I had no idea that changelings could regenerate entire limbs given enough love to fuel their magic, und so I stashed her leg to reattach when she regained consciousness.”
“Why didn’t you just reattach it while she was unconscious?” Scootaloo asked curiously.
“Because, changelings,” I replied with a flat face. “Their anatomy is very alien compared to a pony. Without seeing it working properly, I didn’t dare connect anything together. But, the upside is I came out of it with a preserved changeling leg.
“My mentor und I used her old leg to work out the arcane biology behind a changeling’s shapeshifting. It’s…very very complex, but we were able to work out how to make a simpler version of it like I had hoped. It took a month to get ready und I never would have been able to do with without his help. His two hundred years of experience was a gift from Faust.
“But, after a month of hard work, und then some fine tuning, I managed to create und graft the new organ to David’s spine, with his permission of course. Und now, he can take the form of a unicorn at will. Only that one same unicorn, but it works. The best part is since he’s not quite shaped like your normal Diamond Dog, ponies think he’s a werewolf. Which hilariously, appears to be no big deal here. What’s with that?”
“Huh? Oh! That’s because of Hollow Shades. It’s a supernatural monster rehab center. Most werewolves you’ll see in cities and stuff are perfectly safe and sane people.” Scoots answered, giving me an odd look. “You said you explored the basement with Lyra… You know she’s a vampire, right? Some ‘monsters’ are just people.”
“Well, yes, I did know that, but I only meant that the physical differences between a werewolf und a Diamond Dog are very small. You’d think the fear response would carry over, but it doesn't seem to.” I explained.
“Oh… Well, yes I guess that is a bit weird. Then again who said the world's supposed to make perfect sense?” Scootaloo mused thoughtfully.
“No one I suppose…” I mused with her.
I guess I could track down Dusk and ask her if everything was supposed to make sense. If anypony knew that for sure, it would be her. But that was something to do later.
“Oh hey,” Scoots exclaimed suddenly, “I know that you weren't allowed to talk about what happened while the investigation was going on, but I’ve been dying to know, what the hay did we run into?”
Oh. Um… Buck. This was a very bad place to talk about that.
“Well… Whoever owned the building originally was doing some…very cruel experiments. Und well, one of their test subjects survived for the last thirty years, und we ran into her.” I explained. “But this is not the place to talk about it, und for reasons, she would like to meet you, so we can discuss this when Lyra und her friend say that it’s okay for her to be around other pon-”
“There you are! That time is now by the way.” Lyra’s unmistakeable chipper tone said from over my shoulder.
I jumped, turning with startled speed to find Lyra standing a short ways behind me, with Ember just to her left.
“Ahh! Uh, is saying your name like, a summoning thing?” I asked, heart pounding in my chest.
“No.” She said with an eye roll. “Hey Scoots! Sorry to interrupt your date, but this is a bit important. This is Ember, she’s actually related to you, and you two should hang out because a really bad Dark Magic infused forest fire broke out near Trottingham, and we can’t bring her along while we go deal with that.”
“Wait, related how?” Scoots asked, ears perking in mild alarm.
“Sisters by technicality.” Ember answered. “But you don’t have to see me like that.”
Oh thank Faust she stopped using huge words! On the other hoof... “Excuse me, did you say a Dark Magic infused forest fire?”
Lyra sighed and nodded. “Yeah… Some idiot probably tried out some Dark Magic and bucked it up. Twilight and co have the fire contained, but well… If any of them leave their spots to actually fight the fire containment is broken… They gotta keep a shield up over a huge area. It got too big.
“So, I’m going in… Everypony else is already on the way, Meep’s left a portal open for me at Vi’s house. I just wanted to make sure somepony was watching Ember.”
“Uh, shouldn't you be taking care of the fire, like, now?” Scoots asked with a concerned expression that I honestly had to share.
“Ja, that seems a bit important.” I agreed.
“Hey, the Elements of Harmony have it contained. It’s not going anywhere. If it wasn't for the geometric formation needed to keep a shield that big up, they’d have this done already. I can afford the five minutes of delay,” Lyra said turning around to go. “Right so Ember, you’re alright. Just stick with them and when I get back, Cole and I will get you set up with an I-”
Lyra’s words were cut off as a dark furred earth pony in Lunar Guard armor ran headlong into her as he came up the stairs with a loud clang!
“Ow!” The two exclaimed.
“Sorry ma’am,” the soldier quickly apologized helping Lyra to her hooves, “in a bit of a hurry, have you seen a white and yellow uni- Oh…”
The Guard trailed off as Lyra pointed over her shoulder at me.
“Uh, I don't have to do anymore paperwork, do I?” I asked timidly.
“No, no, no, I’m not on that. Sargent Night Watch, Everfree Response Division. Whole different unit. Hold on.” The guard dug into the collar of his silver breastplate with one hoof, sliding out a small messenger gem strung on a loop of leather to make a necklace. “David. Dave, I found him. Second floor of Ruby’s Diner.”
“Good hunch. He can hear me over this thing, right?” David’s voice said, echoing from the gem.
“Yes.” Night said firmly.
“Ja, I can hear you.” I answered, leaning towards the gem to get within its hearing range. “What’s wrong? Is your graft being rejected?”
“No, it’s fine. Kid, do you trust an old soldier's intuition?” David asked.
I nodded, then remembered the gems didn’t transmit a picture. “Ja, especially yours.”
“Well apparently, most of Ponyville’s guards have been called away to help deal with a forest fire up north. And their big guns just got called away to help with a forest fire… And then later their second biggest guns. Right now, this place is almost entirely soldier free, all because of the same emergency, and all over the last eight hours. I don’t like it. Something’s up.”
Oh son of a bucking timberwolf! That did sound bad… But who would possibly be attacking?
“I understand, but that has to be a coincidence. I can’t think of anyone who could strike the center of Equestria.” I said hesitantly.
Lyra nodded, having stuck around. I’m guessing out of curiosity. “Yeah, well, aside from monsters in the Everfree, nothing can really reach us here without taking major city's first.”
“I don’t know who you are, but trust me, something is up. Lily, It would be really nice if you wouldn’t mind skipping lunch and bunkering down with me. Jade’s up helping Twilight, so she’s out of harm's way. I’m damn sure something’s going to happen, and soon.
“I’d really like to not lose a friend. I heard your dating someone, get her, and get over to me. I’m outside. Look… Just humor me, okay? So what if I’m wrong? You miss lunch.”
I gave Scootaloo a look. “Well… He usually is right about traps.”
“I’m sure he’s wrong, but that’s David, right? He sounds like a fun guy to meet.” Scoots asked.
I nodded slightly, and opened my mouth to reply when to my absolute shock and horror, an alarm began to screech it’s shrill warning in the distance.
“Fucking told’ya.” David sighed through the gem.