//------------------------------// // Chapter Five; Dream- Moonshade // Story: Runaway // by Kix //------------------------------// “Don’t you know it’s getting close to curfew, kid?” The officer in front of me tries to get a look at my face, but thanks to the deep hood and my smaller stature makes it hard. On the other hand, I notice the officer is young with white skin, blue eyes and his hair is a combination of light blue, blue and dark blue. “I’m sorry officer, I must have lost track of time. I needed some screws for a project at school.” Keep calm, he doesn’t have any probable cause to search or detain you. I go through a quick breathing exercise as I answer, fighting against the rising anxiety and desire to run. “I’m not….. in any trouble am I?” “No you aren’t. But can I see your I.D. please?” “Oh….. uhm…..” I make a show of digging through my pockets slowly so as not to alarm him. Fuck, he’s gonna see through this. Did I miss something, a camera? Or did someone see me enough to recognize my face? “Sorry officer, but I must have left it at home.” “Where do you live, miss? And have you seen this girl around?” He holds out a picture towards me which I accept, my hand trembling a little. “Miss, are you ok?” “Huh? What do you…..” Shit shit shit, damn these sleeves. The one thing I like about them and one decides to betray me now? Damnit. Staring back at me is my bare wrist, criss crossed with multiple scars going in every which direction and are made at various lengths. Along with the scars is a long cut that is only a few days old and is the longest, going from mid forearm to heel of the palm of my hand. “Miss, I’m going to have….. HEY!” The anxiety is too much for me to keep under control any longer, and in a panic, I turn and get ready to run. Unlike my run from yesterday, this one is nothing but sheer panic, my fear overriding all sense, including watching the path ahead of me. A few steps into my blind rush, I feel my left ankle roll as it lands on something uneven and a little slippery. The pain is increased as I feel a sharp yank in my left shoulder as I fall. My scream of pain only lasts for a second or two before the waves crash through me, smothering my consciousness into darkness. ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ “Wake up Moonshade, you’re going to be late.” In annoyance, I swat at the words as they buzz around me, not wanting to open my eyes or leave this extremely comfortable cushion I’m on. The buzzing continues around my head and only gets louder until eventually I open my my eyes. Taking a good look around, I find myself on a beach for some reason, though it seems like I’m the only one. Groaning, I stand up and can’t seem to find the source of the words or buzzing that woke me up. All I can see is beautiful white sand and the crystal clear water lazily slapping against the shore. Where am I? Is this some kind of dream? Or has the last eleven years of my life been nothing more than a nightmare while I was passed out? Without a reply, I start walking up and down the beach, smiling as I enjoy the warmth. That is, until I stop close enough to the water and glance at it. Instead of what I expected to see, I just stop as an image plays out in the water, though I’m not close enough to make it out. This must be the dream, then. Every time I try to get a better look at what is going on, the waves mess up the image. After trying for six times, eventually I make my way up a small rise which gives me the best view of the body of water. What I was having a problem viewing from the beach comes in sharply from my new elevated spot. The playing image only causes me to sink to my knees as my legs go weak. Below me is a memory of when I was three. All it is is myself with mom and dad out in the woods, camping. It’s night, and dad has a roaring campfire going with marshmallows being roasted. A harsh chuckle escapes my throat as I can feel tears start to stream down my cheeks as sound eventually comes from somewhere. “Guess what, Moonshade?” mom asks, her voice nearly angelic and soft as she tries to distract me from wanting to go near the fire for the twenty some odd time. “Wha mommy?” The sound of my younger self speaking as she looks at mom brings back another harsh chuckle mixed with a sob. “You’re going to be an older sister, princess.” Dad is the one to answer, but the scene disappears before it can continue, leaving the water clear again and me still on the ridge. My bare knees are hugged tightly as I bury my face in them. I….. I….. Another sound breaks my train of thought as a new image begins to play. This one is much sadder, as I’m now four and mom is laying on a hospital bed. I’m sitting next to her, hoping she’ll wake up as the machine beeps slowly. On the table next to her is a picture of dad in his uniform, a purple heart draped over a corner. No….. please….. don’t….. I don’t want to relive this. Before I can watch any more I hide my gaze in my knees and try to drown out the sounds of the EKG machine flat lining and my four year old voice rising in panic mixed with the shouts of the doctors and nurses. “Princess, why are you tormenting yourself like that?” It….. it….. Cautiously I look behind me, not believing what I just heard. Sure enough both dad and mom are standing behind me, mom is holding something wrapped in a blue blanket. For what seems like an eternity we just stand there, looking at each other until finally I scramble as fast as I can, wrapping my arms around dad. “I missed you too sweetie, we all do.” Dad’s voice is sad but his arms holding me tight are just how I remember them. “Say hello to your little brother, Moon.” Mom’s interruption comes after a few minutes, a sad smile graces her lips as she hands the small bundle to me. As much as I want to I refuse to hold him for now and turn to face dad. “Why….. it….. why did you have to go over there dad? Why did you have to go and kill yourself? Why did you sacrifice yourself? DID YOU NOT LOVE US ANY MORE?” Before I can collapse, dad hugs me again and pets me comfortingly, just as I remember how he used to when I was younger. “I never stopped loving you Moon, or your mom, that is why I went overseas. As for why did I sacrifice myself for others? That is hard to explain, there was no time to think, only act. I never imagined things would turn out this bad for you sweetie.” “Can I….. is there a way I can stay here with you guys? I don’t want to ever go back there.” Mom joins us as she puts the baby in a stroller. “I know you don’t, honey. It makes us sad seeing what you are going through, but it’ll sadden us even more if you give up. Besides, I think there are finally people who really want to help you.” Instead of arguing, I just hug them even tighter before we break apart, the sounds of another memory starting up draws my attention. Quietly I walk over to the edge, stopping long enough to pick up my newborn brother carefully. Mom and dad walk up behind me and we just stand there, watching silently as the memory that plays isn’t one of mine, but dad’s, back when he first met mom. Eventually, the silence is broken by mom after we watched the wedding play out. “As much as we would love to stay with you Moon, our time is running short. Please, be strong for us and trust that things will change for the better. I know they will and sooner than you think, as long as you are willing to try.” “And what if I decide to just end it all right now?” “That would be the only way you can truly disappoint us, princess. As much as we want to be with you like this, we want you to live and overcome the horrors you have dealt with. Remember we love you and are always here with you.” Dad pulls me into another hug before stepping back, as he says the next part he places a finger on my chest, just over my heart and another on my forehead. “In here and in here. Now, continue to be strong and make us proud, sweetie.” I watch as they start to disappear, the last sensation I feel is of my brother’s hand reaching out and gripping a finger tightly and his cooing is the last thing I hear. Then the rest of the scene begins to fade away, once again engulfing me in darkness. ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ Strange sounds and muffled voices surround me as rough cloth surrounds me to the point where it starts to itch. Things slowly begin to clear up as my shifting draws attention. A blurry face swims in front of my vision as I blink rapidly, trying to get rid of the bright spots blinding me. “Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?”