Luna vs The Bathroom

by Tavern Tales


Do not Disturb

CLANG. BANG. CRASH. The thunderous sounds echoed through the corridors of Canterlot Castle. A symphony of nails being hammered,pipes being tightened and things being broken filled the air. The noise traveled with reckless abandon up and down the halls until it reached a door.

To the casual looker the door was like any other in the castle. Big, foreboding, its size projecting a since of majesty to those who gazed upon it. But the more observant looker would acknowledge that this door was different from the rest.

Its metal surface was decorated with various stars, moons, and constellations. Pictures depicted ponies laying about in meadows embracing the sweet serenity of sleep. An image in the upper left corner presented a blue alicorn raising the moon. Perhaps the most unique feature of the door was a small sign that had been carefully placed upon it. In bold letters a message read “Do not disturb.”

Unfortunately, noise can not read. Its soul talent is in letting anything it encounters be aware of its presence. This door was no exception. The noise embraced the door like a long lost lover. Sound vibrated off the metal frame deep into a chamber that was closed off from the rest of the world.

Pity and sorrow upon the ponies who were carelessly causing the loud racket. For the noise of their labors awoke something lying deep in that chamber. A being that should not have been disturbed.


Blue magic seeped forth from cracks of the door. It flung itself open, crashing into the adjacent wall. Then from the dark depths in the sealed off room a mighty creature emerged.

“INIFIDELS!!! YE WHO HAVE DISTUBEREB MY SLUMBER! UPON THIS DAY THOU'S MORTAL AFFAIRS SHALL BE CEASED ON THIS PLANE OF EXISTANCE. THOUGHLESSY THOU'S ACTIONS HAVE AWOKEN THY PRINCESS BEFORE HER APPOINTED HOUR! AS PUNISHMENT FOR THIS CRIME ALL YE SHALL EMBRACE OBLIVION!”

“Pardon me,” said a passing pony,laden down with tools, as he made his way past a very cranky princess.

Luna stood speechless as the worker passed by her. Her gazed followed him as he walked down the hallway that lead pass her bedroom. The worker continued down the hall to were he should have met a dead end. Instead the pony walked in amongst a slew of activity.

The wall had been torn down and a half completed floor jutted out into the morning air. Up on scaffolding ponies scampered about rerouting pipes, expanding the ceiling and putting nails were ever they deemed necessary. All completely oblivious to the damnation that had been called down upon them by Luna.

“Excuse me,” said the princess catching up with the pony that had just passed her.

“What is going on here?”

“Whats it look like lady.” he replied.

“Were working a job. Order came in this morning. Boss called me in on my day off. Woke me up right out of bed. No consideration to letting a pony get some rest after working 12 hours straight. Can you believe that?”

“It is within my realm of comprehension,” Luna said flatly.

The worker stopped at a spot that no one else seemed to be occupying and laid his tools down. He turned his head and gave Luna his full attention.


“Listen, judging by the wings and horn. I'm guessing your somebody important in this castle. Which means you probably want the boss. He can tell you more about all this than I can. He's probably up that way.” said the tool carrier pointing his hoof.

Luna looked in the direction the worker pointed and saw a large pony seated in the heart of all the construction. His massive frame was made of dark brown coat with a golden mane that was cropped short. Dilligenlty he scanned pieces of paper that were laying on the table in front of him.

Luna turned her attention back to the pony in front of her.

“Thank you for you assistance Mr...,”

“Lugwrench,” said the pony.

“Thank you Lugwrench. You will be happy to know that your aide in this will not go unrewarded. When retribution is reigned down upon this matter, you will be spared,” exclaimed Luna.

“Thats nice.” Lugwrench replied, focused on getting his tools out of their bag.

Luna trotted deeper into the construction zone. Thankfully the walk provided a moment for her to get her temper in check. Perhaps a mere exchange of words could clear this matter up. There might be no need for more extreme measures.

However, despite Luna's efforts the noise around her was eating away a what little control her mood was under. She feared her anger was a ticking time bomb. It would go off soon if she didn't get some silence and return to bed. Tick Tock.

Though her presence was of little concern to the teamsters that were going about their jobs. Seeing her as just another body that needed to be passed. The princess did catch the eye of a trio pegasi who sat up on the scaffolding eating their lunch.

“Look at the pair of wings coming here fellas,” Said Ralph, master scaffolding builder and defacto leader of the three.

“Sweet Celestia ,thats fine a piece of flank,” said Wendel, journeyman scaffolding builder, and Ralph's best friend.

“She is beautiful,” said Joey, apprentice scaffolding builder, and youngest of the group.

Wendel finished his salad, grinning he turned to Joey

“What did we tell you kid. Stick with Ralph and me good things will just come your way.” he explained .

“Now,” said Ralph putting down his sandwich and standing up like he was about to give a college lecture.

“Today's lesson is how to properly address a lady. As my star pupil Wendel will now demonstrate.

Wendel cleared his throat and waited till Luna was about to walk right by the scaffolding they had built.

“Hey babe how about I build you a picture frame, cause that flank of yours is a work of art.” he yelled.

Ralph beamed with pride, he had taught his friend well.

“Not bad. Soon you might be even half as good as me.”

Ralph turned his attention back to Joey.

'Now watch a master kid.”

“Hey gorgeous,I don't know were you going but you could end up at my place tonight . An I ain't no weather pegasus, but I got a few inches for you.”

Wendel high hoofed his buddy as they both laughed. Ralph was still the best.

“Now you try kid, even though we are a tough act to follow.” said Wendel

Joey sighed. He wasn't sure ,that out of all the ponies on the crew, these two were the ones he should be learning from. Still, when in Rome.

“Excuse me Miss, maybe I could treat you to dinner after I get off work.” he yelled turning to his co-workers looking for their approval.

They had none to give. Instead looking at their protege with disappointment.

“What in Tartarus was that?” asked Wendel.

“You can do better than that kid,or have we just been waisting our time?” inquired Ralph

Joey tried again.

“Hey sweet hoofs you now I know why they call you an alicorn. Cause you got it in all the right places.”

“Now thats how you talk to a girl,” said Ralph.

He and Wendel both gave Joey a hard hoof to the back. He winced from the blows. What ever misgivings he may have had were buried under the happiness he felt for being accepted by the guys.

For her part Luna did not appreciate the attention her three admires had rained down on her. Each comment had made her grit her teeth even harder and dig her hooves in the unfinished floor. It was now riddled with hoof prints. Tick tock.

First she had been woken from her sleep 12 hours early. Now she was being objectified by chauvinistic pegasi. Who ever had ordered construction right down the hall from her room. She would reserve an entire level of Tartarus for the tortures she would exact on that pony. If her fury didn't explode first. Tick Tock