//------------------------------// // What the Man Does Best // Story: My Giant Robot: Friendship is Awesome // by shinigamisparda //------------------------------// Sombra approached the Karajor in his mist form, phasing through the walls before appearing in the control room, startling the Glorft inside. “YOU!” boomed Gorrath as he stomped up to the pony. “HOW COULD YOU LET THEM GET AWAY!?” Sombra glared, but held his emotions back. “We both failed. Ready your army, we should attack them now while they’re still recover-“ “DON’T YOU TRY AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” the Warmaster bellowed. “I’M ENDING THIS NOW! ALL HANDS, PREPARE THE ERADICATOR!” Sombra’s eyes widened, recognizing the name from the Commander’s memories. “WHAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!? YOU’LL DESTROY THE ELEMENTS AND THE PROTOTYPE!” “I DON’T CARE!” Sombra’s eyes glowed with power. “I will not be stranded here because of your-“ Just then a loud bang reverberated through the ship, knocking everyone off their feet. “What was that!?” Gorrath asked. “Uh, sir?” one of the Glorft replied, pointing out the main window. In front of them was a large satellite with the insignia “Pop TV” on it, smashed into the forward bow. Sombra noticed the black markings, signifying that it had been hit with dark magic. No. It can’t be. Sombra thought. “Damage report!” Gorath bellowed. The Commander took out his pad and pressed a few buttons. “Warmaster, there is no critical damage to the ship. However the, uh, object has struck some key systems. We are… unable to prepare the Eradicator.” Gorrath shook with anger before finally screaming at the top of his lungs while Sombra just stared. It was one thing to know about the legendary dumb luck of the Earther, but another to actually see it happen. On the other hoof, this will keep him from destroying my way back home. “Well, it seems only one option is available to us now,” Sombra commented. Gorrath growled before stomping off towards the hangars. “ALL UNITS, PREPARE TO ATTACK!” he shouted, the rest of his soldiers scrambling to their positions and mechs. “So, do we have a plan?” Sombra asked, trotting alongside the Warmaster. “WE CAPTURE THE PROTOTYPE!” Gorrath shouted back. Sombra suppressed an irritated twitch and simply nodded. “I see. Well, allow me to help with that.” As the two approached the Warmaster’s own mech Sombra took on his ethereal form before merging with the weapon, darkening its color. “Get in,” the mech demanded as the cockpit opened. Gorrath smirked. “Your time has finally come, earther.” “So you painted this all yourself?” “Well, it was blue to start, but I added the decals.” “… well, at least it has more personality than those drab military greens. Though perhaps I should widen my client base?” Twilight groaned, the voices waking her. “Hey, she’s waking up!” The alicorn’s eyes fluttered open, and as her vision cleared she saw her friends looking back at her happily. “Twilight! You’re ok!” Spike shouted and hugged the mare, the rest of her friends soon following. “Ugh… what happened?” “Well…” Pinkie began, taking in a large breath before continuing. “First Kiva got Coop to try fixing the Time Flux Control so they could go into the future and then you wanted our help to make sure that the spell you found didn’t do anything bad because it used dark magic but then Sombra got revived because you used his horn for the spell, but we beat him with the Elements of Harmony which transformed the viewing spell into a portal and then we got separated, and then Sombra revived himself with the Glorft technology but then you me and Fluttershy teamed up with Coop Kiva and Jamie to rescue Rarity Applejack and Spike and then Sombra wanted to make us his prisoners so he could go back home and take over but Coop helped save everypony with his super-cool-giant robot but then Sombra attacked but then we beat him thanks to you being a super-awesome magic alicorn princess and now we’re here!” Everyone just stared at the mare for a moment. “Does she even breathe?” Jamie asked. “Pinkie, why did you just give us an overview of everything that’s happened to this point?” Twilight asked. “Well duh, it’s been like two years since this fanfic updated! The fans need a quick refresher so they don’t have go back and read everything again! Although they might do that anyway just so they can read the funny jokes and awesome fight scenes!” Everyone just stared again. “Uh… right… thanks for that, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “Anyway, Rarity was talking to Coop about his fashion! Right Rarity?” “Uh, yes, that’s correct, but I don’t think that’s really the most important thing right now,” the fashionista answered. “Oh don’t worry, we’ve got about another page before the plot drops in,” Pinkie waved dismissively. “Anyway, I’m gonna go off see what cool stuff I can find in this junkyard!” “JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO PAY TO TAKE IT HOME!” Goat called from off in the distance, lounging in his chair and reading a magazine. “OKIE DOKIE, LOKIE!” she called before jumping up and diving into the nearest junk pile like a swimming pool. Coop, Jamie and Kiva just stared at the ponies, hoping for an answer. Rainbow Dash just shrugged. “It’s Pinkie Pie. Don’t question it or you’ll go insane.” “I’ll take your word for it,” Kiva conceded. “So, anyway… what happened to ya, sugarcube? After that whole ‘dark magic’ fight ya had with Sombra, ya kinda blacked out,” Applejack asked. “Well, after I found Starwsirl’s viewing spell I did a bit of research into dark magic. I didn’t actually attempt to use any of it, but I did want to at least have an idea of what was possible. One of those was absorption, the ability to drain magic from another being or technique. I thought maybe if I could absorb enough of his power I could take control of M.E.G.A.S. from him,” Twilight explained before groaning and rubbing her horn. “Definitely not something I’ll be trying again though.” “A bit risky there, don’t you think, egghead?” Rainbow Dash asked with a grin. “I couldn’t really think of anything else at the time,” Twilight admitted sheepishly. “Unfortunately, we still have the same problem as before. We might have all the Elements but we still can’t get back home. Not without Sombra’s help.” “Quite the problem. And considering he’s working with the Glorft they’ll both probably be down here soon,” Kiva added. “If by ‘soon’ you mean ‘right now’,” Jamie said pointing up at the sky. They all looked up to see hundreds of Glorft mechs descending upon the city. “Oh… Oh my!” Fluttershy stuttered out, quivering in fear. “I was wondering when the squids would get here. Let’s go give them the traditional Jersey greeting!” Coop boasted as he headed back towards M.E.G.A.S. “Darling, how can you be so calm about this?” Rarity asked, stunned at his confidence. “Meh, this is normal for us,” Jamie explained. “We handle stuff like this almost every week.” “What do you mean ‘we’?” Coop asked. “Anyway, we should all quickly get into M.E.G.A.S. Considering they’re all going to be targeting you, it would be to keep you with us,” Kiva said and began heading towards the mech along with the other humans. “Right. PINKIE! GET OVER HERE, QUICK!” Twilight called. The pink mare stuck her head out of one of the junk piles, adorned with bits and pieces of materials like jewelry before quickly shaking them off. “Okie dokie, lokie!” she replied before quickly bouncing towards the mech. “Oh, this is gonna be sweet!” Spike squeed in anticipation. “Oh yeah! I can’t wait to see what else this thing can do!” Rainbow Dash agreed with similar glee as they all quickly headed towards M.E.G.A.S. Everypony in Canterlot Palace stared in surprise and varying levels of fear. The servants and nobles stepped to the sides while the guards attempted to stoically hold their positions. Celestia angrily stomped down the hallway, glaring. The subject of her ire was in front of, a certain Draconequus wearing a white fisherman’s hat, large and gaudy yellow sunglasses, and a red shirt with a white flower design. As he puffed out clouds of pink from a licorice cigar he floated along, sweeping a device that looked like a metal detector across the floor. “You know, glaring at me is not helping,” Discord complained as he followed the magic trail. “No, but I have decided to do so instead of blasting you,” she spat back. Discord sighed in exasperation and spun around. “I get it, ok!? I’m sorry! I didn’t think this would happen, and I am trying to fix-!” He stopped when he realized, after swinging his arms out for emphasis, his magic detector was picking up readings from out the window. He checked it again, making sure the device was working correctly. “Well that’s interesting,” he muttered before floating out the window, Celestia flying after him. Discord eventually stopped when he found where the signal radiated strongest. He swiped his claw along the air before tasting it. “Yup. Defintely chaos magic, with some harmony and dark magic mixed in. Also, do I taste… boysenberry?” “So… what is it?” Celestia asked. “Definitely the leftovers of a powerful spell,” he replied, snapping and returning to normal. “It doesn’t seem that dangerous, so maybe if I recreate it…” he snapped his fingers again causing a rift to open and show off a sea of stars. “It’s… beautiful,” Celestia muttered. “Oh, don’t get sappy on me now, Tia,” Discord joked. Just then a small wind began before quickly picking up in intensity. Discord and Celestia, despite their best efforts, soon found themselves being pulled towards the window before Discord snapped his paw, causing the portal to close. “Well, that was unexpected.” “What happened? I thought you said Starswirl was working on a viewing spell?” Celestia asked. “Well, looks like the girls found a way to upgrade it,” he replied, stroking his goatee. “And if I had to bet, I’d guess they’d been sucked through to wherever it leads.” “Then we must go after them!” “Correction: I’m going after them. You’re staying here.” “What!?” “Equestria still needs you to hang around, Tia,” he explained. “And, as the purveyor of all things chaotic, I’d be much more suited to whatever is waiting for me,” he added pridefully. Celestia tried to retort but sighed. “Please bring them back safely. And… be carfeful.” “Aww, you do care!” he teased with a snap of his paw, opening the portal again. “See you soon! Arrivederci!” he called before floating into the portal and closing it behind him. “Oh… gracious,” Rarity muttered as she saw the mass of Glorft mechs descending upon the city. “That is quite a bit of them, isn’t it? Should we be concerned?” Applejack scoffed. “If it’s anything like that time on the ship, we ain’t got nuthin’ ta worry ‘bout. Just strap in and enjoy tha show,” she answered before by buckling her seatbelt. At that moment the TV flashed on, showing Gorrath’s angry face. “Prepare for your end, earther! Today I-!” he began to gloat, only for Coop to switch the communication off. “Nothing good on this channel anyway,” he said with a smirk. “So, RD, got any requests for how I should start smashing these chumps?” “Got anything fast?” she asked with a glint in her eye. Coop smiled back. “Everyone, strap in tight!” he announced, causing those not yet buckled in to do so. He lifted a controller and pressed the R1 and L1 buttons, checking to see if the fins moved as he intended. After that he slammed his palm down on a large button labeled “NITROUS”. In the next instant M.E.G.A.S. had become a streak of blue, tearing through the asphalt and demolishing any mech that was too close. “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rainbow shouted in utter bliss as her body was buffeted by the massive g-forces she and everyone else experienced. “Unbelievable! To think a vehicle this large could move at this speed!” Twilight commented in equal parts fear and fascination. Coop had M.E.G.A.S. slide to a stop before picking up a different controller and quickly entering “A, B, A”. M.E.G.A.S. raised its arms and its hands retracted inside to make room fore two double-barreled laser cannons that rapidly fired. Coop yelled out a battle cry, as he spun the steering wheel, causing the mech’s torso to spin and hit everything in sight… including many of the buildings. “Uh, Coop? Maybe you should-“ Twilight began, panic beginning to set in, before she was interrupted by M.E.G.A.S. dodging a swarm of missiles. The movement was so sudden that a joystick fell out of its place and into Spike’s lap. The young drake looked at the device for a moment before picking it up and, without really thinking, pressing the red button on top. In response a cannon extended from the side of one of M.E.G.A.S.’ arms and fired, hitting a Glorft mech right in the torso and causing it to explode. Spike grinned as her began to rapidly fire at any enemies he could see, scoring hits nearly every time. “Hey, this little guy’s pretty good!” Coop said as he maneuvered around to make sure Spike had something to shoot at. “Ha! Any you thought all that time I spent on those arcade machines was a waste of time, Twilight!” Spike declared proudly as he continued to fire. Twilight, however, was more focused on the fact that any shot he fired that didn’t hit an enemy hit a building or billboard instead. “Spike, I really think you should-!” “Hey, I want to shoot something!” Rainbow Dash complained, cutting off Twilight yet again. “I think I got something for ya,” Coop replied before pressing a red button. M.E.G.A.S. then whirred as its pieces and soon there was some sort of weapon pointing in every direction. Coop motioned towards another red button. “All yours.” “RAINBOW, WAIT!” Twilight shouted, but her pleas went unheard as Rainbow reached forwards and slammed her hoof on the button. Cannons, lasers, and missiles fired in all directions, destroying dozens of Glorft mechs, as well as causing significant collateral damage. “Oh, goodness!” Fluttershy meeped. “My turn!” Pinkie shouted as she hopped forwards and hung from the rearview mirror. “Oh, how about this one?” she said, seeing a large button labeled “MISSILES.” “PINKIE, NO!” Twilight screeched, but the pink mare had already pressed the button. M.E.G.A.S. stuck both hands out as its chest opened up to reveal several missiles and barrels, as well as producing shoulder, arm, and leg mounted missiles that quickly fired, causing more destruction. “Gracious!” Rarity gasped. “Not bad. But now it’s my turn!” Coop declared. “STOP!” Twilight screamed just as Coop pressed a button labeled “FROM THE EPISODE THAT DIDN’T ORIGNALLY AIR IN AMERICA.” M.E.G.A.S. then clenched its fist and swung them out to the sides, both of them lighting aflame, causing Twilight to sigh in relief. “At least its only a close range weapon,” she muttered. M.E.G.A.S. then charged into the enemy forces, pummeling them into submission or tearing them to pieces, the heat from the fists strong enough to melt them at the same time. After a minute or two of melee combat Coop pressed another button, causing both fists to shoot off, punching through several mechs before exploding in a display of light. “… I spoke too soon.” M.E.G.A.S. then jumped up onto a building, holding both its up hands in the shape of devil horns, before rocketing up high into the sky for several seconds. “ROCK-!” Coop shouted. “-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!” Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie Pied yelled back as robot plummeted back to earth and belly flopped onto the ground, causing an earth-shaking explosion. Two onlookers observed the explosion from a safe distance, sipping on their drinks through straws. “Coooooool,” a young boy with spiked hair and glasses said. “Does this happen often?” the other asked, dressed in flip-flops, a straw hat, and a blue Hawaiian shirt with yellow flowers. “Every couple of weeks. Not always this bug, though.” “… I’ve got to come here more often,” he said before sipping on his drink. “If not for the chaos, then definitely for the refreshments. What was this called again? A Mega-Slush?” “Yeah. That flavor’s Stratospheric Strawberry Slime.” “… Even the names are better here,” he finished before sipping his drink again. “Well. Guess that’s that,” Coop declared as he dusted off his hands, M.E.G.A.S. copying his actions. “Sweet Celestia, that was bucking awesome!” Rainbow shouted as Spike and Pinkie cheered along with her. Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy however all looked on in horror at the ruined buildings around them. After a few moments, Twilight found her voice. “Coop, you just destroyed your own hometown!” she exclaimed. “And?” he replied nonchalantly. “’And?’ ‘AND!?’” “You’re making too big of deal out of this,” Jamie butt it. “Coop blows up a city beating up the bad guy pretty much every time. Trust me, everything will be back to normal in, like, a week.” Twilight just gaped at him before turning to Kiva, who sighed. “It’s true. Everything will be back to the way it was soon enough. And no one here really seems to care that much. At most they just get really annoyed,” she confirmed. Twilight buried her face into her hooves and wailed. “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! NOTHING MAKES SENSE HERE! I WANT TO GO HOME!” Jamie scoffed. “Drama queen.” At that moment, a warning on the TV lit up, reading “IT’S NOT OVER YET, PAL.” One more mech walked through the smoke and debris, black in color and clearly superior to the others in design. “This ends here, earther,” Gorrath began. “Today, I destroy you once and for all!” “Pfft. Yeah right. I’ve whupped ya before, and I’ll whup ya again!” Coop boasted back. “Maybe, but can you handle the both of us?” Sombra retorted, his voice emanating from the mech itself. Gorrath’s mech and M.E.G.A.S. rushed at each other before slamming into each other and grappling. Coop then had M.E.G.A.S. rip both of its opponent’s arms off before kicking it to the ground. “Ha! How ya like me now!?” he gloated. Just then wires and cables sprung from the body and latched onto the dethatched arms and pulling them back, reconnecting them almost immediately. It then fired a laser blast at M.E.G.A.S., causing the mech to stumble back, before getting back to its feet. “How the heck did it do that!?” Jamie asked. Kiva summoned her holo-screen and pressed some keys. “I’m getting a reading from the mech similar to magic. It looks like Sombra has merged with Gorrath’s mech, just like he tried to do with ours.” “So you mean we’re fighting a magic robot?” Jamie asked, marveling at the ridiculousness of the situation. “So what? It just means I get to smash them both at the same time!” Coop declared before M.E.G.A.S. jumped into the air. “Let’s see how you like the Double Deuce!” M.E.G.A.S. then brought both of its arms down, smashing its opponent’s arms off again, before lifting the rest of the mech up and tearing it in half before tossing it to the ground. Gorrath’s mech sprouted wires and cables again, this time wrapping around MEGAS’ legs, before tossing the robot away and then merging back together like nothing happened. Dark crystals then grew around the mech’s fist, turning it into a mace, which then fired at M.E.G.A.S. as a chain weapon. M.E.G.A.S. dodged to the side before grabbing onto the chain. Coop then slammed his fist on a large red button and caused MEGAS’ other hand to fire off with a chain attached, slamming into the other robot’s head before retracting. M.E.G.A.S. the yanked on the chain still in its grasp, causing Gorrath’s mech to go flying towards it, before slamming its fist into the dark mech’s head, sending it flying. Before it even hit the ground, more cables sprouted and reconnected the head back to its body. Gorrath’s mech then summoned an axe made of crystal and swung, hitting M.E.G.A.S. in the chest and sending it to the ground. “This isn’t working! So long as Sombra’s attached to Gorrath’s mech any damaged we do will just be repaired!” Kiva shouted. “Oh yeah? Let’s see it regenerate from this!” Coop retorted, pressing the button labeled “That Cool Energy Sword M.E.G.A.S. Keeps Using.” The blue robot slapped its palms together, pulling them apart to create a flame shaped energy blade. M.E.G.A.S. then dashed forwards, cutting the crystal axe in half before doing the same to Gorrath’s mech, which quickly reassembled and punched the blue robot in the chest, sending it flying backwards. “Man, that’s getting annoying!” Coop complained. “As long as Sombra’s merged with him, this fight will never end,” Kiva noted. “Hold on. I think we can fix that!” Twilight declared, putting on her tiara. “Ready girls?” “Ready!” they all replied in unison. Soon their eyes turned white and they began to hover as their gems lit up. Moments later a rainbow beam of magic fired and hit the enemy mech, which began to slowly lose its dark coloring. “It’s working!” Kiva exclaimed. “Did it have to be so girly-looking, though?” Coop mumbled. At that moment Gorrath’s mech charged and smacked M.E.G.A.S. to the ground, the impact breaking the mares’ concentration. The darkness quickly spread back over the mech, and within seconds was back to how it was before. “Dang it!” Rainbow groaned. “If we can’t concentrate, this’ll never work,” Twilight noted. “On it,” Coop replied simply before charging forwards and slamming into the enemy robot, knocking it to the ground. M.E.G.A.S. then lifted it up and held it in a bear hug. “Get to it!” “Right!” Twilight replied and they all began to activate their spell again. Though Gorrath struggled against the hold, he couldn’t escape and the Elements of Harmony soon expelled Sombra from the Glorft mech, falling to the ground. “Oh, the tide she is a-turning!” Coop declared before picking up a control and making two circles with the left thumbstick and pressing X, Circle, and R2. M.E.G.A.S. then tossed the enemy mech skyward before jumping up and grabbing it in a headlock, flying even higher while spinning and then throwing the Glorft mech up, then catching it on the way down, putting it into a reverse-crucifix clutch and driving the robot’s head straight into the ground. “Ha! How’s about that, chump!?” “Woohoo! Now we just nned to take care of Sombra, I can throw you an extra special Pinkie Pie party!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Ah what?” Jamie asked. “Pinkie here is the best at throwing parties in all of Ponyville. Maybe even all of Equestria,” Applejack explained. “Pfft. ‘Ponyville’?” Jamie chuckled. “What kind of party?” Coop asked. “Oh, it’ll be great! We’ll have cake, and punch, and cupcakes, and ice cream, and-“ “SOLD!” Coop interrupted enthusiastically. “Now, where is that little runt?” he asked aloud as her and everyone else looked around. “I’m tracking a signal… There!” Kiva announced, pointing towards a dark cloud that shot towards the destroyed Glorft mech before phasing inside. “Not again!” Coop complained. “No problem! We’ll just light him up again and be done with it!” Rainbow declared. “What’s the worst they could do now?” “You jinxed it!” Pinkie shouted in alarm. “Commander! Come down here and get me!” Gorrath ordered. “Right away, sir!” the Commander responded through the communicators. Just then Sombra phased in through the mech’s body and materialized into the cockpit. “Summon it now!” he ordered. “What?” “You know what I mean! I know you have enough robots to form it, so summon it down!” Gorrath growled. “I’ll not have you order me around, you-!” he shouted only for a force to begin to squeeze his throat. “You listen to me, you worthless sack of flesh! I threw in my lot with you because I believed my own power and intelligence could compensate for your failings, but clearly I underestimated your incompetence! I refuse to leave this empty hoofed, not after all the effort I put into this! Now you are going to SUMMON THAT WEAPON, AND THEN WE WILL BOTH GET WHAT WE WANT, AND THEN I WILL NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Gorrath coughed and caught his breath after Sombra released him before growling at the pony. He then turned to his comms device. “Commander! Send in the U.M.D.” “We’ve got incoming,” Kiva announced. Everyone looked up to see another wave of Glorft mechs descending towards them. However, unlike before, they were not assuming battle positions and were instead connecting with each other in larger and more elaborate shapes. “That doesn’t seem to bode well,” Rarity commented. Just then then Gorrath’s mech turned black and shot up into the sky, connecting with the other robots. M.E.G.A.S. flew away and landed on top of one of the few remaining buildings in Jersey City. “How are we supposed to beat that!?” Twilight asked in panic. “Hey, no prob! I beat one of these things my first day, and I’ve only gotten better since! This’ll be cake!” Coop assured her. “Is that so?” Sombra’s voice replied, radiating through the air. “Then let me make it more of a challenge.” At that moment darkness began to spread across the massive robot. “Uh, it’s getting BIGGER!” Jamie shouted. “Uh, this looks bad,” Spike commented. The head of the mech began to twist and morph until it resembled that of Sombra himself. “BOW BEFORE ME, SLAVES!”