Convergence Side-story: Downtime.

by Doctor Fluffy


Chapter One: Hurry Up And Wait

Convergence: Downtime.

Chapter One: Hurry Up And Wait.

Written by:
Doctor Fluffy,
Jed R.

Editors
RoyalPsycho,
The Void,
TheIdiot.

This chapter also contains direct segments used in the chapter Sons of Legacies: Part 1, from The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum. But it's cool because most of the people here worked on it.

***

“Know this, you are no longer alone in your fight. Equestria, our Equestria, will join you.”
Princess Luna, The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum.

***

Sometimes, especially with stories like this, it's best to start at the beginning.

Once upon a time there was a magical land called Equestria, and one day this magical land made contact with the planet Earth via a magical portal. The Princess of this magical land, a wise mare called Celestia, was corrupted by an evil force and decided to wage war on humanity, and a Barrier of energy obliterated much of Earth - destroying almost all record of human civilisation.

If this sounds vague, that's because it’s a story that could be of either one of two different worlds: the world of Marcus Renee, faced with the evil Queen Celestia and her Solar Empire, with the threat of obliteration by the Barrier an ever-present one, and the world of David Elliot, the Barrier surrounding the islands of Great Britain and Ireland, last bastions of humankind against the forces of Astra Solamina Maxima.

By a twist of fate no one saw coming - though you may as well call it a miracle - these two worlds met. Recognising their shared enemies - and their shared struggles - the forces of these two worlds made an alliance, one destined to change the face of their respective worlds. And now, on an Equestria free from madness - one contacted by Marcus Renee before the changing of events - the peoples of these two worlds must learn to cooperate, and this peaceful Equestria must be faced with a wider universe, even bigger than they imagined…

***

Canterlot, Year 2 Anno Harmonia - ‘Downtime’ Equestria.

Princess Celestia, alabaster coated and rainbow maned, sat down, her eyes wide and unblinking as she processed the words she had just heard. There was no way she could have heard correctly - no way what she had just been told could possibly be true.

You've heard a lot of things you would never have believed before now, she thought to herself bitterly. Why is one more any more surprising?

Still - to hear what she had just heard…

Five minutes earlier…

"Sister," a voice said from behind her.

Celestia turned to see Luna staring at her, the Alicorn of the Moon looking somber, a reflection of the Sun Diarch's own expression no doubt. After everything Luna had apparently seen, after fighting even a clone of the Tyrant, Celestia couldn't blame her.

"Luna," Celestia said quietly. "How are you?"

"As well as these times allow us to be," Luna said quietly. "The human soldiers are already moving in, and setting up their equipment."

"That is something," Celestia said, smiling slightly. Her smile faltered at Luna's expression. "Is there something else?"

Luna took a deep breath. "Sister… Celestia… there is something we must discuss. A matter has arisen in the human world that has made this situation much more complicated."

Celestia frowned. "Go on, Luna."

Luna frowned, as though trying to collate her thoughts. "In the human world, when we met Marcus' colleague, Major Bauer, there was another human with him."

The emphasis over the word 'another' was too prominent to ignore. Whatever Luna had to say… it was important.

"Go on," Celestia said quietly.

Luna took a deep breath. "He was from another world, sister. Another Earth, facing a grave threat all its own. It was similar, sister. But far worse."

"How much worse?" Celestia asked. "Marcus lost nearly half of his world. That is terrible enough already."

"Before the war with the Solar Empire, Earth's population - in both worlds - was 7 billion," Luna said.

Celestia had known this - Marcus was just bitter enough in his visit to Equestria that he hadn't exactly been subtle about just how much had been lost - and yet the figure still staggered her. Almost moreso than the people that had been lost or ponified, or the amounts of newfoals in an Equestria that was, without a doubt, unprepared for those kinds of population figures.

"Now? The other world’s human population is close to…" Luna seemed to hesitate.

"Yes?" Celestia asked, curious yet apprehensive.

"Fourteen million," Luna finished. “Sister, I cannot help but see this as a warning.”

"What… what did it?" Celestia asked, already terribly afraid that she knew the answer. And as Luna began to speak, Celestia felt the blood drain from her face.

“Another Tyrant.”

“An… another Tyrant?” Celestia said, eyes widening in horror. “You mean… another… another me?”

Luna’s somber look held all that needed to be said about that.

Celestia laughed, the sound almost desperate. “That… that scarcely seems… another world where… where…” She slumped backward, shaking her head. “Another Tyrant Celestia…”

“This one calls herself ‘Astra Solamina Maxima’,” Luna reported, her face somber. “Discord has supposedly met her - the result was… not in his favour.”

“‘Not in his favour’?” Celestia repeated. “He lost? Is he alive?”

“He lives,” Luna assured her. “And he does so with his usual lack of grace and manners, at that, so his hardships must not have been so great. Still, he assures us that Solamina is not a threat to be taken lightly.”

No, of course not, a little voice in Celestia's mind said. Because that would be too damn easy, wouldn't it?

“Sister,” Luna said quietly, her brow furrowed in concern. “Sister, are you alright?”

How could I be, with what you have said? How can I face myself, knowing what I have been - what I could become?!

“I called you a tyrant, once,” Celestia sighed. “But what am I?”

“You're no Tyrant!” Luna protested at once. “You have always been a just and fair ruler -”

Celestia snorted at that. “Have I, Luna? Have I really?”

“I do not lie,” Luna growled. “Especially not to mine own sister. It was improper. You know that if you ever failed - if I ever thought for a moment that you were failing Equestria - that I would tell you!”

“Why… why am I even here?” Celestia said, laughing with sudden, harsh bitterness. “Look at this. Look at this stupidity. Two other Equestrias make contact from beyond the veils of reality - and in both, I am a Tyrant, a murderer, a genocidal lunatic.” She laughed again. “And for the love of all things harmonious - ‘Astra Solamina Maxima’? How tortured is that? That’s something from a two-bit opera! Sometimes I wonder. Should I have let you wi-”

“Sister,” Luna cut in. “You do not think of that only sometimes. You have only thought of that today.”

Celestia pondered this. “There’s… yes, Luna. I have. But I have to wonder, if I have the potential to become a monster, twice over… and even succeed…”

“Sister, sitting around in self-pity accomplishes nothing,” Luna said, her head bowed. “You are not a monster. A monster would not feel guilt.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done in your absence,” Celestia said.

“I visited the Royal Library, and thus I do,” Luna said. “To the best of my knowledge, you never committed genocide and turned the entire human population of a planet into ponies. Sister, when I left, I was unappreciated. When I returned, I found that night was the time when ponies would frolic with wild abandon and visit parties. Some of which have been thrown by dear Pinkie Pie. I know you’ve done well in my absence.”

“But how can I ensure that I don’t become like these monsters, Solamina, Queen Celestia, or something… other?

“You already are not,” Luna said, nuzzling her sister. “And you can prove to everyone - most of all yourself - that you are not them by carrying on as you always do. By showing the humans kindness on their terms.”

“My thoughts exactly!” a new, slightly chirpy voice said with a chuckle, and suddenly Discord was stood in front of them.

Correction - two Discords were stood in front of them. One was the Discord the two sisters knew, his trademark smugness practically glowing off of him like luminescent dust. The other Discord was identical in form, save a large red ‘Q’ superimposed on his chest, but his expression was mildly irritated.

“Oh my,” the other Discord said. “We seem to have arrived somewhat late for that retort. Though I suppose it also works here.”

“What retort?” Luna asked irritably.

“I was thinking how silly ‘Astra Solamina’ sounded,” Discord - their Discord - said, chuckling. “I mean, I got distracted by nearly dying, but it's hard to take her seriously with a name that sounds like someone butchered Latin. You can hear the vowels screaming in agony.”

As he was saying this, two-dimensional words floated from his mouth, hovering above his head. One ‘A’ started screaming that it couldn’t feel its legs.

The words vanished.

Celestia's eyebrows disappeared into her mane. “There's… two of you.”

“Observant for a teenager,” the other Discord said, sounding vaguely bored. “For the record, it's Old High Unicornic in origin - part of that Celestia’s cultural lexicon.”

Luna frowned at him. “Are you the Discord who plagued her?”

“I did far more than plague her, back in the day,” the other Discord said with a wry smirk. “But yes - I am the poor sap who had to live in that Equestria. Call me ‘Q’, or DisQord if you prefer.”

Luna winced. “That sounds horrible, Discord.”

DisQord shrugged. “No, Discord with a Q. Dis. Qord.” He paused, frowning at the blank looks he was receiving. “Well, I can hear the difference.”

“That… is very odd,” Luna said, frowning.

“I don't really care,” DisQord shrugged. “;Let me tell you though - I was not expecting what happened to my Celestia. Wasn't nice, seeing a mare I’d known, sort of, for thousands of years go nuts.”

“Who could expect her?” Discord asked. “Never mind her big black baby blankie.”

DisQord folded his arms, and raised an eyebrow.

“Big… black… baby… blankie?” Celestia repeated, bemused.

“A childish description of something ‘bad’ my counterpart experienced,” DisQord said with a groan. “Forget about it for now. Though if it reassures you, Celestia, know that Astra Solamina is no more responsible for what she is and what she has done than your own twisted counterpart.”

Celestia frowned, before looking at Discord. “Is that true?”

Discord shrugged. “I don't know anything about it. What I know is that he supposedly does, and he’s not letting me forget it.”

DisQord saluted ironically. “Just call me a walking encyclopedia.”

As he spoke, his body disappeared in a flash of light, replaced by a giant book with a human on the cover, the words ‘Encyclopedia of the Continuum’ on the cover in bold, gaudy letters. The picture of the human - a relatively handsome one with a widow’s peak and a haughty expression - winked at them all.

Luna sighed. “You have the exact same sense of humour. I don't know whether I find that reassuring or not.”

“I'd say you should,” the human on the book cover said, and in a flash DisQord was stood there again, holding a wine glass filled with red wine. “But I think you’ll find that I have better taste in alcoholic beverages.”

“Don’t be like that!” the other Discord said. “A pilsner’s a wonderful drink. Why, I can tell you it did wonders for Twilight Sparkle’s guard Flash Sentry…”

“You did not get one of my guards drunk,” Celestia said. It was not a question or even a demand.

“Well, obviously not,” Discord said, throwing his… forelimbs… up. “I did him a favor! Poor Flash, chafing under Captain Ironhoof… Oh, it’s not this Flash, don’t be such a spoilsport, Celly.”

“Did you come here just to irritate me?” Celestia asked, sighing. “Because I understand that you’ve helped, but that doesn't give you carte blanche to -”

“We’re here to help you,” DisQord put in. “Given the situation we’ve found ourselves in…”

“… ‘pulling out all the stops’ should be a default,” Discord finished. “And since there's two of us…”

“… there's double the stops we’ve got on hand to pull,” DisQord smirked, snapping a claw and grabbing a bottle of wine with Chateau Picard, 2271 written on it. “Simply put…. how was it that other Discord you met in that world with the red and blue mercenaries and Slendermane put it?”

“‘I’d rather become a bastion of order than be part of any of this?’” Discord asked. “Or something like that.”

“Exactly. Neither of us want any part of what would come without our help,” DisQord added. “That being said, I believe we should have ‘a chat’ with some people. Including the new guests you'll be receiving.”

“The humans?” Celestia asked with a frown of confusion. “They're already here.”

“Yes and no,” DisQord said. “Let's just say… you'll be getting more guests, very soon.”

***

Ponyville, Year 2 Anno Harmonia - ‘Downtime’ Equestria.

In a small house in Ponyville, Doctor Whooves was finding it very difficult to keep the scowl from his face. His guest, however, was not one he had been expecting - or wanting. He was a very familiar face indeed, one that Whooves would have never expected to see.

“Good morning. I’m looking for the Doctor.”

Opposite him was sat a red-coated Earth Pony stallion in a battered leather overcoat, a bandolier slung over his shoulder and a scarf knotted around his throat. From behind a bristly white mane and beard, this stallion glanced up from his teacup at Whooves.

The younger Doctor knew it wasn't necessarily fair to treat this other him with hostility - after all, apparently this him was not his own future, and he didn't know the circumstances - but that face… even on a pony, it brought all sorts of terrible memories, memories he had buried deep down in a dark place, and never wanted to bring to light…

… he was the man who fought in the Time War, and that was the day he did it. The day I did it.

No More.

In that battle, there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other…

NO MORE.

…and that man was me.

He shook his head as Derpy poured a cup of tea for each Doctor. She smiled at the other Doctor, who returned it with a slightly strained smile - why strained? What happened to his Derpy? - and then she gave Doctor Whooves a look that made him frown slightly.

"Be nice," she whispered in an undertone.

"I will be," he replied shortly. “Be safe.”

“We’re not in danger,” she said knowingly. With that, she left the two of them to their tea. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"You have questions," the older-looking stallion said without preamble.

"A fair few," Whooves replied with a slight, somewhat ill-sounding chuckle. Both of them could tell it was fake. "To start with - why that face? Are you from another universe? What happened?"

The older Doctor sighed, took a sip of his tea, and then looked Doctor Whooves in the eye.

"Easier to show you, I think," he said quietly. “If you have no objections.”

Whooves blinked. “I… no. No, I've got no objection.”

“Good,” the older Doctor said. He took a deep breath. "Contact."

"Contact," Whooves repeated, closing his eyes.

And then… he knew. He saw David Elliot's world, he saw the ruins of Boston and the battle against Queen Celestial. He saw himself - older, harder - with a look of vicious fury as he derided this alternate self. He felt horror as he heard about Derpy's - Ditzy's - death, and saw it with his own eyes as the Harmonious Order burned, the funeral pyre of Ditzy Doo, Grey Leader…

And then it was over. He gasped, blinking as his other self regarded him with worn, tired eyes.

"Well," Whooves said quietly. "That… was interesting."

"Yes," the other Doctor said with a wry grin. "I imagine it was. You understand now why I needed to come here?"

"Oh yes," Whooves said, and despite himself he began to grin. "You're fighting an implacable foe. Two of them, in fact.”

“Indeed,” the other Doctor said.

“And one of us is good - heck,” Whooves said, smirking. “One of us is a genius. But three of us?"

"Three of us is a miracle waiting to happen," the older Doctor said with a smirk. "Precisely."

“I almost feel sorry for whoever you’re going up against,” Derpy said.

Whooves - her doctor - raised an eyebrow over at her.

“I said almost,” Derpy explained.

“Don't,” the older Doctor said. “In my world, Dinky is an orphan - and the experience has not exactly been good for her mental disposition.”

Derpy’s eyes hardened. “An orphan? Why aren't you -?”

“He's not her father,” Whooves put in. “In his reality, we were never married.”

“Which makes seeing you somewhat surreal, amongst other things,” the older Doctor put in, raising an eyebrow. “Still - if I may make a suggestion?”

“Shoot,” Whooves said.

“You might want to reinforce the TARDIS’ Interdimensional shielding for the trip,” the older Doctor said. “The quantum stresses and dimensional forces…”

As the two Doctors descended into technobabble, Derpy turned away from them both, a small frown on her face.

Dinky, an orphan? Why? How?

She shook her head. It didn't matter. What mattered was protecting her own - making sure her children never suffered what that Dinky had.

***

Canterlot, Year 2 Anno Harmonia - ‘Downtime’ Equestria.

Marcus Renee - square jaw, blond hair and lean, powerful body held at relative ease as he stood at the window - was being very quiet. Stephan Bauer - armoured, darker haired and just as well built - was stood with his hands behind his back, expecting Marcus to say something. The Colonel had just read a report on recent hostilities in Boston, where a clone of Queen Celestia had battled against PHL forces (aided by Princess Luna, Discord and an… odd man named David Elliot). Things had already been strange before the reveal - the impossible reveal - that there was another world, and that other world was…

That other world had another Tyrant.

“So,” Marcus said, folding his arms. “I think it's safe to say the defence of Boston went well.”

Stephan glanced sideways at him. “I suppose.”

“No ‘suppose’ about it,” Marcus said, looking over at his friend. “We held the line - losses were minimal, certainly far less than projected, and then when the clone came we handed her ass to her too.”

“Our best-case scenario had almost a quarter of the PHL being killed and retreating out of the ruins,” Stephan pointed out.

“Which is why I’m glad you all handled yourselves so well.”

Stephan sighed. “Well, we didn't. Discord, Luna and that Elliot dummkopf did - we -”

“Shot off her ear, cut off her wing, kept her pinned with PEPS and shot through her legs, crippling her long enough for the final blow to land,” Marcus interrupted. “You guys kicked her ass, and if Elliot hadn’t been there you would probably have still kicked her ass.”

Stephan nodded slowly. “If you say so.”

Marcus sighed. “I do say so. Sure - we were outclassed in sheer power. We expected that to happen. We also expected to have her inflict a lot of damage. But despite that, we held - you held. You didn't even lose that many people!”

Stephan sighed. “Alright, I can see what you're saying - but so much of that was luck, it was -”

“Stephan, I love the whole ‘modest to a fault’ thing you've got going on, but it's not needed here,” Marcus said with a chuckle. “You can underrate yourself all you want, but don't expect me to sit here and let you without pointing out just how much you've done. I do enough of that for both of us. Half the PHL’s troops were trained by you. You were the first point of contact for this world’s Luna and Discord, the first real official contact for that Elliot guy. You've worked wonders.”

Stephan didn't say anything, merely nodding again.

“And,” Marcus continued, “I think we’ll need you to work wonders again.”

Stephan turned his head to look at Marcus, a frown developing on his face. Marcus smiled and motioned for Stephan to follow him.

A few moments later they reached Marcus’ quarters in the castle, and Stephan was forced to whistle in appreciation of how nice it was.

“Not bad,” he said appreciatively.

“You shoulda seen it before I got rid of the excess crap clutterin’ up the place,” Marcus replied, grabbing a small scroll from a desk. “Here; have a look at this.”

Stephan frowned as he took the scroll and began reading from it.

‘A barrier like the one we know is not possible with stand alone spell work, Celestia and Twilight said as much. Magical construct running off magic? Possibly, but the amount of magic it would take to cover a whole planet is too much for any unicorn or self-called goddess to bring up. Using Equestria as power source? Possible; explains the Dearth somewhat, at least for native ponies. Newfoals self-explanatory. Power source is something else, though, Discord's perhaps? I can't help but think that there is a missing piece... I need to think on it, but even if we don't figure it out, we need to take the device out of action.’

“A device?” Stephan said, looking at Marcus with a raised eyebrow. “You mean… like some sort of generator?”

Marcus shrugged. “I literally do not know. Maybe. The point is, our thinking up until this point’s been that she's been the one creating the spell. Thing is, Twilight and Celestia agree that that's impossible: a device of some kind that’s generating it is the only explanation.” He grinned. “And you're gonna be the one tearin’ it down.”

Stephan’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Me? I’m the one you want to - to destroy that machine?”

“I want you to put together a team,” Marcus explained. “That thing is keeping the Barrier up. The Barrier is the only thing stopping us from taking Earth back. It's the only thing stopping us from tearing the Queen’s army to shit! You take it out, and we’re in a position to really win this.”

Stephan sighed. “Alright, I see your point. I can start drawing up a team list.”

“There's another thing,” Marcus added, folding his arms. “The Elements.”

Stephan frowned. “What about them?”

“They're part of this Equestria’s task force,” Marcus said with a frown. “I want you to train them.”

Stephan’s eyes widened. “You… want… me to… what?!”

“I need them as good as the Blue Spy,” Marcus said. He sighed. “And… this world’s Lyra, too.”

Stephan groaned. “You… are just… trying to make this weird. Aren't you.”

Marcus shrugged. “It is weird. We’re soldiers. We’ll adapt to it.” He frowned slightly. “Though something else occurs to me.”

“What?” Stephan asked.

“There's a whole other war out there now,” Marcus said slowly. “A whole other Celestia, a whole other Solar Empire - or whatever they call it - that's gonna be gunning for us.”

Stephan frowned slightly as well. “We’ve just asked these ponies to fight in our war: you're wondering if it is fair to ask them to fight in Elliot’s as well, right?”

Marcus nodded. “At the very least, I’m wondering how the hell we’re gonna break the news to Celestia. God knows she probably won't take it well.”

“In that regard, you need not worry,” a familiar voice said.

In a flash, Stephan had turned, sword ready at the sight of the wide eyed mare in front of him - itwasheritwasheritwasheritwasher

She wasn't dead. His sword had not left its sheath, and he had not cleaved her in half. And Marcus was holding his arm, preventing him from grabbing his sword at all.

“Celestia,” Marcus said, his voice deadly quiet, “don't. Fucking. Do. That.”

Celestia winced, and it was only now that Stephan noticed how drained she looked. “My apologies, Colonel. I was merely coming in to speak with you.”

Marcus gave Stephan a look, and with a sigh and a nod the Major relaxed. This, he had to remind himself, was not his enemy. This was an innocent Celestia.

Celestia nodded at him. “Major Bauer. Your courage against the Tyrant’s clone should be commended.”

“Thanks,” he said tightly.

Celestia turned to Marcus. “Luna and the Discords have already explained to me -”

“Wait, Discords?” Marcus said, eyes wide. “Did you say Discords as in ‘more than one’?”

“Great,” Stephan sighed. “As if one madman with logic-defying powers wasn’t enough. Thank you, God, for answering my sarcastic prayer.”

Celestia paused. “I… assumed you knew.”

Marcus shook his head. “That one’s a new one on me.” He paused, thinking for a moment. “I take it that the new guy is from this Solamina’s Equestria?”

“Correct,” Celestia nodded. “He has explained some things to me, as has our Discord. It's…” And here she trailed off, looking bewildered for a moment. “It's almost too much.”

Marcus nodded slowly. “I guess, seeing it from your perspective, I agree. So, what did you want to discuss?”

“We should consider how best to tell the other leaders about this ‘Astra Solamina’ and the threat she poses to us,” Celestia said quietly. “I wanted your opinion.”

Marcus frowned, before looking at Stephan. “What’re your thoughts?”

“You've got two options,” Stephan said, folding his arms as he still struggled against the desire to slice this Celestia in half. “First is absolute secrecy - no one outside this room, with the exception of the Discords and Luna, gets to know about it. That prevents panic, questions that we can't answer, and a whole host of other problems. The other is absolute honesty. If you tell this to just one person, or two, it'll slip out eventually. Tell it to everyone, and you save that. No one gets mad when the truth comes out because they knew from the get go.” He smirked humourlessly. “After all, PR is a deadly weapon.”

“There are benefits to both approaches,” Celestia said quietly. “From my perspective, I suggest a gradual dissemination. Start with the leaders and the Bearers, then our officers, then the soldiers below them, and then when soldiers from the other world arrive full disclosure.” She smiled slightly. “We make it an open secret - we don't try to keep it, but we don't actively try to not keep it. Nopony can accuse us of lying, but we don't run the risk of immediate panic at the thought of another enemy Equestria.”

Marcus nodded thoughtfully. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

“I have been a head of state for many years,” Celestia said with a shrug. “I do know how to do politics.”

“It brings up another question, though,” Stephan put in. He motioned to Marcus’ diaries at musings. “We’ve got all this potential intelligence and planning ready to help us combat our enemy… but what do we know about ‘Solamina’? Nothing!”

Marcus sighed, folding his arms. “It has occurred to me. I mean, reasonably we can expect that she's similar in most respects -”

“Not necessarily,” Celestia put in. “Her Discord - well, DisQord -”

Stephan and Marcus winced at the tortured pronunciation.

“- is different from ours. If he is different, there is no telling what else may be.”

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes,” Marcus put in. “There's no sense worrying about it yet.”

***

Palace Courtyard, Canterlot, Year 2 Anno Harmonia - ‘Downtime’ Equestria.

Twilight and her friends had gathered in the castle’s courtyard, and each of them was wondering precisely what was going on. The human soldiers had started coming through just as they'd expected, but there had been a lot of rumours floating around of a fight - and, interestingly enough, whispers of some sort of “super-knight”. It all sounded a mite confusing.

“...Did it just get complicated?” Pinkie Pie asked, head cocked to the side just a little.

“It wasn’t before, Pinkie Pie?” Rarity commented with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, but now it feels like it's gonna be reeaaaaally complicated,” the pink mare said with a slight frown. “And long. And have loads more people and ponies and a bunch of other things, like moles. And cowbell.”

Moles?” Rarity repeated. “Why would moles be involved?”

“I have to say, there's definitely been rumours running around,” Twilight said with a frown. “But I’m sure it won't be as complicated as all that.”

“Really,” Applejack said. “Didja have to jinx it like that, Twi?”

“Jinxes aren’t real,” Twilight protested.

“Ah’m just saying, wouldn’t it be ironic-like if you said that, and then, suddenly, moles.” Applejack smirked. “Maybe we’re gonna be invaded by mole-people.”

“And those aren’t real either!” Twilight protested.

“Well, obviously not here,” Rarity pointed out. “Why not the other Equestria?”

“Your track record on ‘things that shouldn't be real’ isn't exactly brilliant,” Lyra pointed out, a knowing smirk on her face.

“She’s got ya there, Twi,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Oh for the love of…” Twilight sighed. “One species being real from a whole catalogue of insane ideas doesn't mean all of those insane ideas should be considered valid - next you'll be telling me that I should reasonably consider the existence of Jorogumo or something.”

“Nah,” Lyra said with a shake of the head. “Everypony knows they went extinct.”

“Well, obviously!” Pinkie added. “There's no Tengu to keep them in line!”

At Twilight’s expression Lyra burst out laughing. “Oh, you're too easy!” She paused. “The only question is what the heck Pinkie’s talking abou-”

“...Don’t ask,” Twilight sighed. “Just don’t.”

“Or do,” Pinkie said. “Twilight did this awesome thing once where she was so confurious about not knowing about Pinkie sense -”

“Conwhat?”

“Confused and furious - confurious. It's a portmanteau,” Pinkie said with a sage nod. “Anyway - she did this thing where she turned into a - what did that human call them? ‘Pokemon’?”

“A… what?” Lyra repeated.

“Yeah,” Pinkie said, nodding her head sagely. “She got so angry she turned into a - a ‘rapidash’ or something. It was super effective.”

Twilight groaned. “And once more, we abandon the lonely, dusty road called ‘the point’ for the well-trodden recesses of insanity beyond.” She sighed, before sobering up slightly. “Still… I guess whatever happens, it's not going to be good news. Nothing we hear from that world seems to be ‘good’.”

“Ooh, I know, I know!” Pinkie said with a sudden bounciness. “We’ll hear about another world with another Tyrant and magic and swords and super cool armour and everything!”

Everypony ignored that.

“I hope the humans are nice,” Fluttershy said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“They might be nice in general,” Rarity said quietly. “Perhaps less so to us.”

“What makes you say that?” Fluttershy asked.

“We do look like their enemies,” Applejack pointed out. “Ah reckon if I saw the spittin’ image of a pony who’d done me wrong, Ah’d want words.”

Fluttershy meeped a little. “I… don’t want to know what I’d be like.”

Pinkie looked over at her, and Fluttershy flinched a little. But instead, Pinkie was quiet. “Me neither, Fluttershy. Me neither.”

“Well look, here comes the Princess now,” Twilight said. “Hopefully we’ll have some answers.”

Sure enough, there came Princess Celestia, looking… tired. There were bags under her eyes as she trotted towards them, and even her normally glowing rainbow mane seemed lank and untended.

“Ah, hello Twilight,” she said with a smile. “All of you. It's good to see you, especially under such trying circumstances.”

“What's wrong, Princess?” Twilight asked, frowning. “Has something happened?”

Celestia sighed, looking troubled. “It's… rather difficult to explain, but that's why I’ve asked to see you all. Firstly, you obviously know that Luna and Discord reached Marcus’ Earth. What do you know of what happened once they got there?”

“They beat up that meanie Queen Celestia!” Pinkie said at once.

“It was an awesome fight, too!” Rainbow said. “I heard one of those guys talking about it, he said there was a -”

“They won,” Rarity added, cutting off Rainbow’s enthusiastic appraisal.

“Then you know they had aid from Major Stephan Bauer,” Celestia said, looking at each of them. “There was, however, another human there.”

“The ‘super-knight’ one of the PHL mentioned?” Twilight asked.

Celestia sighed. “It was a man, named David Elliot.”

There was a pause as that name registered, and finally Applejack spoke for all of them.

“Never heard o’ him,” she said with a shrug. “Ah mean, Ah reckon Marcus woulda mentioned anyone really important, but -”

“Marcus had never met him,” Celestia said. “No human on that Earth had ever met him. Or at least, that David Elliot. He came from another world.” She paused. “A world battling another Equestria. Another Tyrant Sun. He himself was a warrior, imbued with magical energy, who was able to stand against the clone.”

There was a pause, and then Pinkie Pie whooped.

“Somepony pick up that phone!” she yelled. “Because I bucking called it!”

Celestia sighed, ignoring that. “This new world is the home of one ‘Astra Solamina Maxima’. From what I have heard, her goals of ponification and subjugation are the same, though I do not know what drove her to what she has become.”

There was a moment as this sunk in.

“Is Mr. Elliot’s world winning?” Fluttershy asked.

Celestia looked away. “No. Some would say they might have already lost. There are… there are only a scant fourteen million of them left, confined to one island. The rest of their world is gone, the rest of the species converted or exterminated.”

“Fourteen… million,” Lyra put in, eyes wide. “But… but there were seven billion of them, weren't there?”

Celestia nodded heavily.

“Buck!” Lyra swore. “That’s… that's insane!”

Twilight and the other elements evidently agreed, as one could infer from their horrified gasps. Pinkie seemed to almost… deflate. To imperceptibly slow down, her foofy pink mane straightening a little.

“Getting to see aliens isn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” she said, looking downward.

“Fortunately, there is a silver lining,” Celestia said. “That Earth, at least according to a… particular contact of mine… has made contact with Marcus’, and the two have struck an alliance. Humans and their allied ponies from that world will hopefully be coming here too.”

“Then we’ll show them as much generosity as we can muster,” Rarity said. “They must be running awfully low on clothes, as well…”

“You are not seriously planning to sell clothes to them,” Lyra said.

“I never said sell,” Rarity said. “I was going to help make some free of charge.”

“That’s very kind of you, Rarity!” Twilight said, beaming.

“Don’t mention it,” Rarity said. “It’s… it’s simply the kind thing to do.”

Suddenly, a heavy thump sounded from behind them. They spun around, to see - of all things - a battered black jacket crumpled in a heap.

“I think they could do with some new clothes to be honest,” a familiar voice said, as a flash of light heralded the arrival of Discord - except that none of them had ever seen Discord with a big red Q printed on his chest.

He waved cheerily at them all. “Good afternoon, everypony. Long time, no speak.”

“What is that, DisQord?” Celestia asked, narrowing her eyes at the jacket.

“A leather jacket,” Discord - DisQord? - replied. “Duh.”

“And here I was thinking you were different from our Discord,” Celestia said, rolling her eyes. “Why do you have it?”

“Illustrative purposes,” DisQord said. “And for the record, I am different. For a start, he’d never make a point of showing you this.”

The jacket suddenly raised up, before opening, revealing its contents - five locks of brightly coloured mane, all sewn into the lining. Very familiar locks of mane.

“...Is that… what I think it is?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking almost sick as she stared at a rainbow-colored lock of mane.

“It is,” Fluttershy said, eyes wide.

“Who… why?” Celestia asked, eyes wide.

“In the interests of fairness,” DisQord said, “I thought I'd show you the stakes. Most of your counterparts served Astra Solamina Maxima - brainwashed, of course, but all the same. Each of them died during the war. Rarity, decapitated leading an assault on Dover. Fluttershy, executed in Sherwood Forest at her own behest.”

Fluttershy made a little squeaking noise, and backed behind Pinkie.

“Applejack, killed in the Midlands on a raid against farmland,” DisQord continued. “Rainbow Dash, shot down over London. Finally, Pinkie Pie, killed in the battle of London itself. The only one unaccounted for is Twilight.”

“I almost feel sorry for her,” Fluttershy spoke up, surprising everyone.

“Huh?” Pinkie asked.

“She doesn’t have us,” Fluttershy said. “I can only imagine how horrible that would be…”

“What stakes does this show us?” Celestia asked.

“Oh, I dunno,” DisQord said. “It'll be a while before you see something quite so… visceral from this conflict again.”

Twilight frowned. “This ‘Elliot’ killed them in his war, didn't he?”

“Correctamundo,” DisQord said, before grimacing. “It's about the first bit of real good luck that world’s had.”

“So many things are wrong in that sentence,” Applejack said.

“Well if it makes you feel better, his best friend is dead, too,” DisQord said with a less-than-pleasant smile. “Understand this, though - you're lucky in one respect. Ponies you care about seem to have mostly seen the light in Queen Celestia’s world. Not so in Solamina’s - you might well find yourself fighting somepony you love, thanks to Solamina having a subtler touch. As an example - Scootaloo.”

Rainbow Dash paled. “What about her?”

“Commander of the Wonderbolts, and in that world that means ‘elite military cadre responsible for some serious stuff’,” DisQord explained.

“Why…” Rarity swallowed. “Why show us this? This man’s supposedly going to be our ally.”

“Because you need to know,” DisQord said with a shrug. He looked at Celestia. “All of you needed to know. You think learning about Queen Celestia taught you horror, but I promise you, there's always more than what you first believed, and there is always more that you can witness, even beyond the imagination of the most disturbed mind. The cosmos delights in darkness, and this is but a taste of what is to come.”

“You've made your point,” Celestia said evenly. “Now leave and make it elsewhere.”

“I had to return this to the wardrobe I found it in anyway; don't want Mr Elliot thinking someone moved his jacket,” DisQord shrugged, and in a flash he was gone.

Celestia sighed. “I’m sorry, my little ponies. I didn't want that to happen.”

“It's the truth, ain't it?” Applejack asked quietly.

“He isn't lying as far as I know, no,” Celestia said quietly. “I don't know him as well as our Discord. Maybe he would lie.”

“No,” the Element of Honesty said. “Ah’d know. Ah think it's better we know, anyway.”

“How is knowing those horrible things happened to our counterparts ‘better’?” Rarity asked.

Applejack shrugged. “Ah’d hate to think we weren’t gettin’ the whole story - if it's all that bad, better ta know so now than the worst possible time.”

“Applejack’s right,” Fluttershy said. “I… I wouldn’t want to learn this at the time we went there. I wouldn’t handle it well.”

“You’ve done well so far,” Rarity said.

“You think so?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity nodded. “Certainly.”

“We shall see,” Celestia said, a frown on her face. “In any case, I shall… have words with ‘DisQord’ about this. His honesty could have come at a better moment.” She smiled tiredly. “Farewell for now, my young friends.”

She turned and trotted off, leaving the others alone.

“I wonder what I am,” Lyra said quietly.

Twilight glanced at her. “What you are?”

“He said ‘most of your counterparts served Solamina’,” Lyra said quietly. “I wonder if mine did.”

“You've pledged to help humans here, and your counterpart was a pivotal figure in the foundation of the PHL,” Rarity pointed out with a sad smile. “I’m certain your other counterpart is of a similarly high calibre of pony.”

“Well, what does that make me?” Lyra asked.

“Huh?” Twilight asked.

“If both the others of me are like that,” Lyra said slowly, “Then what am I?”

“I don’t know you well enough to guess, but you seem okay,” Applejack said.

“...Thanks?” Lyra asked.

“Trust me, Lyra’s a great friend,” Twilight said. “...I just wish I’d been a better one myself. Especially to Moondancer.”

“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” Lyra said. “You were alright. Besides, we’ll probably have bigger things to worry about than who did what back in school.”

“I agree with you there, Lyra,” Rarity said. “But, more than anything… we’re in this together.”

And suddenly, DisQord was back in the courtyard.

“Daw, isn't that sickeningly sweet,” he said, clasping his claw and paw and making a wide eyed faux-adorable face. “I'm genuinely touched somewhere. It might be my gag reflex, but still.”

Twilight scowled at him. “Didn't you have a jacket to return?”

“Done that,” he said with a shrug. “Also went off and annoyed a bald guy for a few days - fun times, been too long - and then I did some sunbathing on Mercury.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what that is,” Pinkie said.

DisQord chuckled. “Sunbathing, or Mercury?”

“…What do you thi-”

“Pinkie, no!” Twilight interrupted. “He’s probably planning some ironic thing that bends the nature of reality.”

DisQord grinned, almost nastily. “Actually I was planning on sending her to Mercury for five seconds. But maybe that would be too mean.”

“It would be!” Pinkie yelled.

“You're… a very different Discord,” Rarity said distastefully. “You seem… crueler.”

“One of these days, ask somepony from my Equestria about the Discordant ages,” DisQord said dryly. “Or rather, the Discordant age and the Discordant tea break, as I prefer to think of them. Anyway, I thought -”

“Hang on,” Twilight said, holding up a hoof. “If you can travel back to Marcus’ Earth, then here, and do stuff for days inbetween, why can't you just…?”

“Magic all your problems away?” DisQord asked. “Two reasons. One, because that's actually difficult. And two, because my… peers slash bosses slash brothers and sisters would not approve.”

Twilight blinked. “You… have bosses.”

“Long story. No interest in recounting it. Is there anything you need to do before we leave?” DisQord asked. “Send letters? Inform your family?”

Twilight frowned. “Leave? Leave to where?”

“Oh, a place,” DisQord said.

“That's not very detailed.”

DisQord sighed. “A hyperbolic time chamber. Ok, oh murderer of spontaneity? Happy now?”

“Wait, I thought they were called rooms of spirit and time?” Lyra asked.

“I thought it was called the hype-ebonics rhyme chamber,” Pinkie said.

“Dice Gods give me strength,” DisQord muttered. “In any case - you'll all be coming with me now.”

“Shouldn't we ask Celestia, first?” Twilight asked.

DisQord grinned. “Oh, yeah - that. I’ll get right on that - snap!”

***

And suddenly, Twilight and co were stood in an empty white void. The only landmark visible was a large white building, a series of bedrooms and other small rooms - as well as a dojo - visible.

“Is this the Hypertonic Lion Tamer?” Pinkie asked.

“...You’re just doing this on purpose, aren’t you,” DisQord sighed.

“As far as you know!” Pinkie giggled.

Twilight scowled. “You should have asked Celestia’s permission!”

DisQord chuckled. “Technically,I am doing, right now.” He tutted. “I’m very glad I'm not in my shoes right now.”

“Is he turning all Equestria into his playground of chaos?” Twilight asked.

“He’d better not,” Fluttershy said, and the steel in her voice was a surprise to everyone present.

“Or what will you do?” DisQord said harshly. “You know, we were supposed to be friends. If that thing hadn't…” He sighed, trailing off. “Don't threaten me. Don't even annoy me. I guarantee, I'm probably less in the mood than you think. Your Discord’s lucky he doesn't have a script for what should have been - because I do. I know what should have happened, and now it never will. Something of a shame.” He paused. “Actually, I'm trying to do you a favour by bringing you here.”

“And this favour would be?” Rarity asked.

Time,” DisQord said. “You’re going to be here for three days, and to the rest of the cosmos you'll be here for three hours, and that's just a rough guess. I could give you ten years in here to train and you'd have nary a wrinkle, and only a week would pass out there.” He folded his arms. “And I think we’d all agree, you need time, which is, funnily enough when you have three Doctors, running short. It’s also exactly the argument I’m making right now to Celly.”

Twilight groaned, before sighing. “Alright, fine. I guess time might be good to have.” She took a deep breath. “So where do we start?”

DisQord grinned. “Like so.”

And then it was chaos.