MintyRest!xMcCHESToY Fri, May 4, 2012 7:12 PM No. 100989
File 133618397486.jpg - (29.27KB , 450x335 , i-can-not-has-fish-dont-know-how-to-use-chopstix.jpg )
Bonbon vs chopsticks.
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"No," Bon-Bon seethed, "What's racist is those Neighpon ponies inventing a way to make Earthers look stupid! The Unis in that country think they can create this system of humiliating those of us who weren't fortunate enough to be born as dick-heads, and we're supposed to follow their lead!"
The silence in the wake of Bon's tirade lasted only for a moment as the sushi bar's other patrons quickly turned back to their own conversations, lest they get caught staring. One or two took it upon themselves to glare for a moment, offended either by Bon's tone, or her volume, or the racial epithet she'd used.
"We could've gotten take-out, you know," Lyra muttered. She was barely audible, as she was busy glancing around, trying to see if anypony was still watching them. There were a lot of unicorns in the place-- most of the patronage sported horns, in fact-- and a fair few of them looked to be Neighponnese, too. "Bon, you won't be the first Earth Pony to not be able to do this. Please..."
"Oh of course." Bonbon's slightly husky voice was at its full, unladylike rasp. She was just as loud as before, but this time most of the room knew better than to spare more than a glance. "Can't take the clunky-hooved Mudder anywhere. Better keep her inside, or else someone might see her!"
This time Lyra was the one who inhaled sharply at Bonbon's language. Her horn glimmered, as inconspicuously as she could manage. Sorting telekinetically through her bag wasn't easy without looking... There! A telltale jingle told her she'd found her coin purse. "I'm serious," she blurted out, trying to cover up how she was scheming for a quick escape. "It's expected in a place like this. You can't levitate the sushi, you use the chopsticks. You can't use the chopsticks, you bring it home. Nobody judges--"
"The hell they don't! I have a food-based Cutie Mark, and if I'm going to eat Neighponnese food, I'm going to eat it properly! Don't you tell me to hide while eating it because it's not worth having me try to do it properly!"
"Properly" was, of course, a poor choice of words. In front of Bonbon was a scene of utter carnage. Cucumber, takuan, and ginger were scattered as if tossed carelessly onto the table from a distance. Rice was arranged into deformed lumps, and nori was shredded to the point of uselessness for any purpose except perhaps as a condiment for the disastrous salad that had started off as a collection of artfully arranged sushi.
Lyra suppressed a sigh as she watched Bonbon fumble with the chopsticks again. Her dear Earth Pony lover's strong hooves were having no success with the delicate movements that a helpful staffer had tried to demonstrate at the beginning of the night. Of course, now that she wasn't using such terrible language, Lyra remembered why she liked it when her Sweet got annoyed. The determination, the insistently beautiful spirit she showed whenever she stomped her hooves or flared her nostrils made even the most infuriating arguments tolerable, even endearing-- for a strong heart is the birthright of every pony of every type, and Bon was no exception, even though sometimes she could get a little bit carried away with herself. And it was more than just the knowledge that they could always kiss and make up; Bon's focused, thoroughly annoyed expression at times like these, the way muscles tightened in her neck and her breath turned harder, more determined-- It gave Lyra all the right tingles in all the right places.
"Listen," Lyra murmured as she slipped down from her stool and onto all fours, sidling up next to her Bonnie with just the right kind of saunter. "We still have some Marediterranean in the fridge. C'mon home and there'll still be time for a little dessert."
The signal was not lost on Bon-Bon. "A little after-dinner treat, hmm?" She replied, unwilling to totally shed the sullenness from her voice just yet.
"Why wait until after?" Lyra crooned. "You know I like eating sweets first."
Bon-Bon snorted, but allowed Lyra to pay for the meal and escort her out.