Celestia walked through the large corridors towards her sister’s room, deep in thought. She had a lot to think about. She had left Jax for the night, letting him at least have the nights to himself, but she was worried. The whole situation was unfortunate, but there was nothing to do about that now. If they could have used magic on him, then the situation would have been different, and they could have made a serious attempt at separating Sombra from Jax. Unfortunately, they couldn’t, and she would not risk using his chaos magic, when his control of it was so limited. Not until it was absolutely necessary at least. Not until there was no other choice.
Choice… What other choices did they have? She knew there was nothing they could do but wait until either Jax or Sombra won. Celestia was betting everything on Jax.
The human seemed to be made of sturdier stuff than most ponies… It was a calculated risk, something she was familiar with. Two minds, one body, one victor. Once you threw chaos magic in though, the ‘calculated’ part went right out of the door. Anything could happen once chaos entered the equation, and that was something Celestia didn’t like.
No matter what she chose, however, she was taking a risk. When it came down to that, she would rather take a calculated one. Jax could triumph over Sombra, with the magic of friendship and love. He could, and he would. With friends, anything is possible.
She just hoped he would realize that, instead of trying to carry it all by himself.
So absorbed was she in her thought, that she almost walked straight into a door. It was decorated with deep blue colors, with glimmering silver making up stars and the moon, marking it as her destination.
“Princess?” A night guard beside her asked, most likely confused how close she was to said door without any indication that she was going to open it.
“How is my sister doing tonight?” She was making it seem like the reason she had stopped without opening the door was to ask the question. No need to admit how lost in her own thoughts she had been.
“She seems to be neither exceedingly happy, nor particularly sad, your highness.” The guard answered respectfully.
She nodded her thanks to him, then used her magic to open the door. Inside, Luna sat by her desk, working on some petition. Night Court was over, only because of the new times Luna had instilled, so that she had time to work on other projects instead, like her overhaul of the law. Even Celestia had to admit they had gathered too many old and obscure laws. While she was happy that Luna was getting involved, she knew how hard it must have been for her to cut her Night Court short.
“Sister. You are back. How was your day with Jax?” Luna turned around in her chair, looking at her with a smirk. “You did not manage to scare him off, did you?” Celestia was blessed with such a cheeky little sister. Unfortunately, she couldn’t really object. She closed the door behind her and stepped into the room, looking over the different hues of blue and silver. She didn’t walk very far before she stopped to look out of one of the many windows that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. “No, though I didn’t try very hard. We actually had a chat about various subjects. He is quite relaxing to talk with, I can understand why you like him so much.”
The heavy curtains were neatly tied to the side of it, giving a clear view of the starlit landscape beyond. During the day, the curtains would make sure that not a single beam of light from the sun made it inside the room, so that her sister could sleep in complete darkness, unless she wanted to light one of the many lamps in the room, or the lantern that hung at tip of her crescent-moon-shaped bed.
She looked over at Luna, only to see her pointing a hoof at her. “He is mine.” She said, suddenly dead-seriously. “Thou shalt not have him.”
Celestia pouted playfully, about to say something about sharing, but changed her mind. There was a time and a place for playfulness, and she didn’t feel like this was it. Instead she smiled soothingly. “I know, Luna. Rest assured, he is not interested in me.”
Luna looked at her suspiciously. “How do you know?”
“Because I asked him to promise never to fall in love with me, and he laughed.”
Luna seemed to go through several emotions in few seconds. Confusion, joy, embarrassment, more joy, before she finally settled on barely contained glee.
“Really?” She asked, so clearly on the edge of laughing that Celestia almost rolled her eyes.
“It’s not that funny. It was a serious request, Luna, and he just laughed at it. If he isn’t more loyal than Rainbow Dash like he promised, I reserve the right to punish him.”
Luna finally laughed out loud. “So he did promise after all. I thought he might have joked at such a silly request… though I cannot say I am not pleased. He has his eyes on only me.” She ended with a satisfied smile that made Celestia smile herself. She didn’t really mind that Jax had laughed at her, it was a pretty weird request after all. If he kept making her little sister this happy, he could laugh at her all he wanted. It was so very good to see Luna’s radiant smile, like a weight had been lifted off Celestia’s withers, and she could finally relax. She steeped further over to her sister, careful to step around her sister’s crescent-moon-adorned slippers, the only objects on the floor.
“You are right. If he hasn’t fallen for me, he probably won’t fall for anypony else.” Now was the time for playfulness. They both laughed merrily. Celestia knew what was coming, Luna loved to point out how big Celestia was, after all.
She would definitely start doing something about it… when she had the time.
“Well, that depends, maybe he is not-“
“Into gorgeous mares like me.” She nodded sagely. “Good observation. You did indeed find a weird one, Lulu.”
“Is that jealousy I hear? Not used to being shot down so blatantly, are we?” Luna poked her on the side, receiving a very unprincess-like ‘eep’ and half-jump in response. She quickly folded her wings again.
This was what she had missed the most about having Luna around. This. No need for titles and manners, no need to always be regal, just two sisters having fun.
“How about we settle this over a game of chess? Old rules, winner gets gloating rights, loser has to agree.” Celestia proposed, remembering Jax’ idea of spending time with her sister.
Luna looked confused. “Old rules? There are new rules for chess?”
“Yes. They were remade to be less… violent. Didn’t you know? Jax mentioned you were good at it.”
“Violent? Chess?” She closed her eyes and brought a hoof up to her temple. “I swear Tia, if I did not know that ponies were naturally afraid I would think you were making them fearful on purpose.
Yes I played with Jax, but he played by the same rules. He called some of the pieces different things, like King instead of Princess and so on, but basically the same game.”
“Well sacrificing your troops in the name of victory is not what I want to teach my little ponies.” She raised a brow at her blue coated sister.
“And that is why I am happy Equestria has not been at war for so long. You have yourself a game. I cannot wait to gloat over my superior tactics.”
Celestia gave her a challenging smile. “If you think it will be that easy, you have another thing coming for you.”
***
“Say it. Say it out loud.”
Celestia sighed, but ultimately she was bound by her own rules. “You are Chess master Luna, the superior strategizer, and I bow before your glory.” She then bowed her head while Luna did a little victory dance where she jumped from one hoof to another. She looked extremely happy and adorable, so Celestia didn’t regret losing… too much.
It was the beginning that doomed her. Her habits kicked in, and she kept making strategies for the new rules, instead of the old. Luna quickly got a lead that Celestia was unable to overcome until the very end.
Given that it was almost sunrise, she had made a valiant try.
They had spent a lot of the time just talking about this and that, but always returned to Jax at one point or another. Celestia had teased Luna about him and Luna had teased Celestia about her weight… again. Celestia almost didn’t care anymore.
Luna finally got control of herself, at least enough to lie down in front of Celestia again, and Celestia remembered Jax’ advice to talk with Luna about what happened… all those years ago. Luna just looked so happy that she couldn’t get herself to do it.
As it turned out, Luna must have had a similar thought. She looked down in front of her, her expression turning from happy to sombre, with her ears folded back a bit. “Sister, did you… did you ask Jax not to fall in love with you because you are afraid what I would do if he did? Because you are afraid… that I could turn into N-Nightmare Moon again?” Luna looked up at her, looking worried. Celestia felt unsure at the sudden question. Should she tell the truth? Should she divert the conversation and topic? A thousand responses ran through her head before she decided that this was her sister, and she would be truthful with her.
“…Yes. That was what I feared. That is my biggest fear… That I’ll someday have to b…” She had trouble saying that word. It felt like a stab in her heart. “banish you again…” She somehow made through it. Tears were already forming in her eyes, as if the crying session she had with Jax wasn’t enough. She couldn’t really help it though. The sadness and guilt stabbed her so hard even after all this time. So affected had she been by any mention of her sister those first years after her banishment, that her own ponies had erased Luna from history, so that Celestia would never have to hear her name again. There had only been Nightmare Moon left.
That in itself had been a whole different defeat. She had let them erase her own sister from history. She had let them celebrate the fear of Nightmare Moon.
She was such a failure, as a princess… as a sister… She wasn’t sure if she could bear to be the reason for Nightmare Moon’s return. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if Luna fell again. She could keep telling herself that The Limelight was gone, and it couldn’t happen again, but the fear was still there, so very heavy on her mind. She wasn’t strong enough to have it happen again.
So she had asked Jax to never fall in love with her, and he had reacted better than she could have hoped. Like the chances of it happening were laughable. It calmed her mind a little, but she had no doubt that as happy as he made her sister now, he had the power to make her equally sad. Such was the power of love, the double edged sword. If done correctly, happiness far exceeded sadness, and she wanted to believe that Jax and Luna could do that, but deep down she was afraid as well.
Celestia had consoled many ponies in her long life, many more than she could even remember. She had found out that her ponies liked to be draped by her wings, so she had quickly made it a habit to do just that.
Until this night, nopony had ever done it for her, though. She looked back at the blue wing that was draped over her withers, then to the side, at her only family. Luna looked at her with a wide mix of emotion, from sadness, to regret, to shame, but also determination and sympathy.
“Sometimes…” Luna started, with a coarse whisper. She coughed and tried again, a little clearer this time. “Sometimes I wish that Starswirl the Bearded had finished his time spell, so that I might travel back and undo my mistake… So that thou wouldst never have to suffer so, dear sister.”
Celestia almost choked. “Me?! You… Luna, you had to spend a thousand years on the moon. You had to come back and have everypony fear you. You-“
“I did not say that it has been easy for me. I did not say that I have not felt pain for my mistake. But it is nothing less than what I deserve.”
Hearing that almost stopped Celestia’s heart. “Deserve? Luna you were possessed!”
“’Tis no excuse… when the parasite walked in with an invitation.” Luna avoided her gaze by laying her head on Celestia’s withers. Celestia freed her wing and pulled her sister closer with it.
“Luna…” She could hear the emotion in her own voice. She was close to tears, not that she cared. This was how Luna had felt all along? Celestia would never have guessed.
“Still I can see that thou taketh the blame on thine own withers, sister. Still I can see that thou have suffered more than me. I apologize, for all that I hath done to thee. I cannot blame thee for thine fears, for it is I that have instilled it in thee. I cannot even promise thee that I would take it well, should Jax fall for thine splendour… I would not be surprised if he did…” She added the last part in a whisper so low that Celestia wouldn’t have heard it if her muzzle wasn’t so close to Celestia’s ear.
Celestia didn’t know what to say. Her mind was rarely blank, but right now she couldn’t think of a single thing that could show her sister how wrong she was… how wrong Celestia hoped she was.
Before she could think of something however, Luna seemed to shake herself. “Nay, I… we…” She sighed. “Sister, I know that thou blamest thyself, for mine actions all that time ago. Mine actions were my own, and thou hast no blame in my stubbornness. In my refusal to speak with thee about my problems... I let the wounds fester, so-“
“Luna. I’ve had a thousand years to think about what I did wrong, and I know that my part in your… in your fall was not just as a bystander. It wasn’t just that I wasn’t there for you… my actions hurt you. Did you think I forgot how prideful I was back then? You think I forgot how many times I put our subjects before you? How I overruled you, despite us supposedly ruling together? No, Luna, I will not let you take all the blame. You may have let the wounds fester, but I was the one who made them, or at least helped make them. We agreed that you ruled the night, and I ruled the day, yet how many times did I… did I…” Her tears finally escaped, making a wet path down her muzzle, as her regret spilled over. She had been such a foal back then. Hindsight had revealed to her how stupid she had been, and she had sworn never to make the same mistakes again.
“So we are still in agreement, that we have both been foalish.” Luna said with a strained voice, and reverting back to modern speech.
Celestia managed a tear-soaked laugh. “I guess we are.”
“Tia… I…” Luna started sniffing. “I am so sorry…” She sobbed, letting go of her tears as well.
Celestia pulled her even closer. “I’m sorry too, Lulu. Never again.
“Never again.” Luna agreed.
The sisters spent the rest of the time until sunrise in each other’s embrace, crying out all their anguish and regret.
They slowly pulled themselves together, until they finally let go. Celestia felt much better, now that the air had been cleared. She should have done this a long time ago. She would have to remember to thank Jax for his advice.
“You are going to be exhausted at day court today, dear sister.” Luna smiled at her.
Celestia smiled back. “You once stayed awake for a whole month. I’ve stayed awake for two.” The look on her sister’s face made Celestia laugh, almost joyfully. She was not looking forward to going through the day in her condition, but she was still going to do it.
Luna pouted at her. “There will come a night where I will break your record.”
“I’m sure you will, Lulu. Now come, we must raise the sun and lower the moon.”
The two sisters went out to start a new day together. They walked a bit closer to each other than they normally would, and their smiles were a bit more genuine, like the weight on their withers wasn’t as heavy as it used to be.