“...”
“Are you sure? Really?”
“...”
“But we had it last week, and the week before, and the week before that...”
“..!”
“Again with the 'it's nice' argument! You can't use that with everything.”
“..?”
“Oh, I don't know! It... loses its value, or something. If we only get things because they're 'nice' then we'd both end up being very unhealthy.”
“..!”
“Aw, thanks Vi. But if I want to stay that way I must eat healthily, you see, and so..?”
“...”
“Thank you for being so understanding. We'll get the bumper-pack, family-friendly, economy-size box of Jaffa cakes next week instead then, alright?”
“...”
“Lovely. Now, what's next on the list?”
“...”
“I see... not sure where to find those. Do you know?”
“...”
“Ah, righto. In which case, lead on, m'darling!”
“..!”
“...”
“...”
“Ooh, Vinyl, look! Extra-strong maremite! We simply must get some. It's so difficult to get hold of in Equestria. Back in Hayngland we had it all the time, on toast. Have you ever had maremite on toast, Vi?”
“...”
“Right! That settles it. It's coming with us.”
“...”
“I'm sure you will like it. I admit it is an... acquired taste, but once you get used to it you won't be able to help but love it. Though having said that...”
“..?”
“Well, I'm just wondering if, before getting you onto the extra-strong, it might not be best to start you off with the regular maremite? Wean you onto it gently, as it were.”
“...”
“Alright then. Well get some of that as well. There we go! One jar of regular for you, and one jar of extra-strong for me.”
“..?”
“Ah yes, I'd forgotten about that. Let's get it now before I forget again.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“There it is! I see it. How much do we need?”
“...”
“Are you sure we need that much?”
“...”
“Well, if you insist. I must admit I am rather partial to it myself, every once in a while. Not as a lifestyle choice, you understand, but on the odd occasion.”
“...”
“Yes.”
“...”
“Well, I suppose so. But you know how it is. Now, what else do we need to be getting? Let me see... peas. We need two packets of peas. And oats, and hay, and pickled onions.”
“..!”
“Yes, Vinyl, pickled onions! I know you're not that fond of them, but I'm rather fond of them myself. They go just right with a maremite sandwich. We could've got those when we got the maremite, in the 'Haynglish Foods' section. Ah well. Back we go.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Right then, pickled onions... pickled onions, pickled onions... where are they?”
“...”
“Oh yes, right at the top. Be a dear, Vi, and pass a couple of jars down to me, please. I can't reach that far up. Why they insist on putting things so out of rea- oh, thank you Vinyl.”
“...”
“Yes, another advantage of being a unicorn... you can reach things which other mares aren't tall enough to... or bendy enough...”
“!!!”
“Hm! Of course, you're quite right. This is not the time for subtle innuendo. That must wait till this evening. What next? Oh yes, oats. They'll be some of those around here too, I expect.”
“..?”
“Well we could, I suppose, but I much prefer oats from Trotland. They remind me of home. Though why all the shops round here insist upon putting Trottish food in the Haynglish section all the time is beyond me. They're quite different countries, after all.”
“..?”
“Really? Then I shall have to teach you the difference, sometime. It really is very important to know. But also rather complicated, so perhaps I'll tell you later... There're the oats! We'll have three packets of those, I think, unless you think we'll need more?”
“...”
“No, I suppose you're right. Well, in that case, what's next on the list?”
“...”
“Oh yes, hay. We'll get that from the 'organic foods' section, over there.”
“...”
“...”
“..!”
“It is, isn't it! I'm sure it wasn't before, was it?”
“...”
“I didn't think so. Still, I suppose it's what some ponies like to call 'progress', and what I call 'unnecessary meddling'. Wasn't like that in my day.”
“...”
“Sometimes you show great wisdom, Vi, d'you know that? Still, that won't get the shopping done, so unless you can think of anything else, let's head over to the checkouts.”
“...”
“We might as well use 'self-serve', seeing as we don't have much to buy this time. If you pass the things to me, I'll scan them and bag them.”
“...”
“...”
“Unexpected item in bagging area.”
“Seriously? These machines are not very reliable. I literally just scanned that maremite! I'll go and get someone to help.”
“Unexpected item in bagging area.”
“Er, excuse me? I'm sorry to bother you, but I think our checkout is having attitude problems. I don't suppose you cou- thank you so much.”
“...”
“...”
“That's better. Now, do I scan the maremite again, or...? We'll assume not. Is that everything?”
“...”
“Jolly good. Fortunately these machines take cards, or we would've had to carry about a hundred bits around with us all morning. Most inconvenient.”
“..!?”
“Yes, it's a titanium card.”
“..?”
“I pay all my bills on time, that's all. Just because you don't, doesn't mean everypony is as careless. Need I remind you of the Impinged Tetrapack Fiasco?”
“!!!”
“Exactly! And you can't blame it all on Neon either, so don't. You know his part in the affair was really very small, and the authorities were right to let him off with a mere thousand bit fine.”
“...”
“I know, only too well! Still, never mind. Right, well that's everything paid for, so let's be off.”
“...”
“Indeed! Though we can't go home yet because I need to go and buy a new umbrella from the market.”
“...”
“It is odd. I have no idea how I could have lost something so incredibly brightly-coloured, and... zany. Almost as though it wanted to be lost. Still, it was very thoughtful of you, Vi.”
“...”
“...”
“Ooh, brrr! It's a bit chilly out here! Though I suppose it is Januhayry. Would you mind tucking my scarf in for me, Vinyl? I can't quite reach.”
“...”
“Thank you very mu- hm!”
“!!!”
“Hmwa..! Vinyl! Not here, ponies will see! It's very sweet of you, though, you charmer. Now, let's see if we can find a new umbrella...”
“..!”