//------------------------------// // Chapter The Next // Story: I'm Trying To Write A Story Here // by SchrodingerFu //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle never came to terms with the revelation that she didn't actually exist. She was driven to madness and died weeks later deep within the Everfree Forest, surrounded by a number of large leaves and various carvings in the dirt. These carvings all read something like “EVERYTHING IS A LIE” and “OPEN YOUR EYES” and “THE VOICE IN MY HEAD IS INCREDIBLY SUAVE AND SEDUCTIVE”. Oh, no, wait. She's just whimpering in an alley out behind Sugarcube Corner. Hang on, I'll get her. Hey Twilight. Stop moping. You've got things to do. “I do not,” Twilight moaned, “Go away.” Listen, I've got a great story here, and I'm going to tell it come hell or high water. Twilight let her head sink into the dirt. Alright, Twilight. Time for a philosophy lesson. Do you think that Ponyville really exists? She raised her head. Her mane was already caked with dirt, “Well... Not really, any more...” Well, did you think that Ponyville really existed yesterday? Twilight's puzzlement overpowered her sadness, “Well, yes, I suppose I did. Where are you going with this?” You'll see. Did you know that Ponyville really existed yesterday? “I thought I knew...” she looked down again. Exactly. You thought you knew, but you didn't. Therein lies the lesson, Miss Sparkle. Nothing is guaranteed to be true. Anything and everything can change at a moment's notice. And when I'm at the helm, it often does. Twilight's eyebrows creased, “Well, that seems like quite the negative approach to life.” Hold on, you haven't heard the best part. Do you really exist? Twilight paused for a moment to think. What are you doing? “Just thinking about it.” Exactly. You, my dear pony, can think. Moreover, you can think independently from anyone or anything else. This is important. Let's assume that all of Equestria is just an illusion of your senses, barring for a moment that that is a fact. You think you see or hear or feel something, but it isn't really there. Of course, you'd have no way of knowing that Equestria isn't real, but that's the point. You have no way of knowing if everything you can see and hear really exists. The only thing you can know for certain is that you exist, because you can think. No one can falsely experience conscious thought. Twilight was stunned. She had never thought of life that way. She had never really been interested in philosophy at all, but what she had heard made sense. I believe it was Francis Bacon who coined the phrase, “I think, therefore I am.” “Who's Francis Bacon?” Doesn't matter. Twilight snapped to attention when she noticed a discrepancy, “Wait a minute, back in the library you said I didn't exist!” Twilight, know this. You cannot trust anyone or anything, least of all me. Where I come from, I am a legendary liar. She sighed. Now, you'd best get to bed, or at least get out of this rain. There's a big party in the morning. “What? No there isn't. I'm sure Pinkie Pie would've said something...” She thought for a moment, “Wait a minute! This is another lie, isn't it?” We'll see. Twilight began the trek home across town. She could hardly hear her own hooves clopping against the pavement over the torrential rainfall, which only seemed to grow stronger as she walked. The strain from her earlier panicked run started to set in, making each step a struggle. She wasn't exactly an athletic pony, after all. Twilight mindlessly pushed the library door open. She was mentally and physically exhausted. All she wanted was to go to sleep. A folded towel fell directly on her head, knocking her out of her stupor. She glanced upward, but she saw only the roof of her library. She used her horn to unfold it and began to dry her mane and body, giving a small grin. You're welcome. Without saying a word, Twilight shuffled up the stairs and into her bed. She let out a single deep breath before closing her eyes and succumbing to the world of dreams. Say what you want about me, but I'm not cruel. “Twilight! Twilight!! Wake up!” Pinkie Pie was hopping outside of Twilight's window. Twilight groggily opened her eyes, “Pinkie, I was sleeping!” “Oh, sorry!” said Pinkie, still hopping, “I just couldn't wait to invite you to the party this afternoon!” Told you there's a party. You shouldn't be so quick to assume I'm lying, geez. “Party? What for?” Pinkie's eyes lit up, “Y'see, I was thinking, it's been a month since any of us have had our birthdays or anything, so we haven't had any big fun parties since then! A whole month!! It made me soooo sad! And then I thought everypony else must be sad too, so I'd hold a big super fun party to cheer them all up!” She was still hopping up and down outside. Twilight got up out of bed, keeping her attention on her party pony pal, “Pinkie, how are you bouncing up and down? My bedroom's on the second floor.” Pinkie Pie giggled, “Look!” Twilight gazed out her window to see a trampoline below. Pinkie Pie continued, still bouncing, “So can you be there?” Twilight didn't have any other plans, “I'd be happy to, Pinkie.” Pinkie started to jump higher and smile wider, “Great! Thanks, Twilight!” Her expression changed to one of shock, “Oh my gosh! I need to go invite everypony else! See ya, Twilight!” She landed on the soft ground linke a feather, took up her trampoline and darted off. “Bye, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight called out, but she was already gone. Before I forget, I should tell you that I kind of have a penchant for destruction. Twilight sighed, “How long am I going to have to deal with you?” Just until the story's over. “Well, when's that going to happen?” Oh, in a few more chapters. Twilight creased her eyebrows, “What does that even... never mind. What happens in this story?” A party, for one thing. She fell back on her bed and gave an exasperated moan into her pillow. You can't have all the answers, Twilight. Stories need intrigue and drama. They need to make the reader want to keep reading. And speaking of, you should get to that party. An idea crossed Twilight's mind. She stood up out of her bed and moved to the middle of the room, a wide grin on her face, “Nope.” What do you mean “nope”? “I'm not going.” Yeah, you are. “No, I'm not. If I don't go, your story can't continue.” Twilight, I'm going to level with you. If you don't follow along, I'm going to force you, and you wouldn't like that. Her smile lowered to a grimace, “You can't do that! You said yesterday...” I lied, Miss Sparkle. Get used to it. Twilight's eyes darted around the room. She didn't know what to do, “Y-you can't do that!” I can and I will. Ahem. Twilight Sparkle was eager to reach Pinkie Pie's party as soon as possible. After the events of last night, she couldn't wait to be with her friends once again. She scrambled down her stairs and... “Wait a minute!” she shouted. No! There will be no waiting! The characters in a story do not decide what happens therein. I am the storyteller, not you. I am the one putting words down on paper, not you. I am calling the shots here, not you. Twilight's eyes lit up. “Putting words down to paper, huh?” She levitated a nearby scrap of parchment, quill and ink over to her. She quickly scrawled words into the paper, then read them aloud, “She scrambled down her stairs to see an obnoxious, sarcastic stallion materialize. The storyteller had used his power to bring himself to Equestria.” An obnoxious, sarcastic stallion materialized. He had a scrawny, dim blue body with a simple blue mane and tail. It was almost the color of the mane of Princess Luna, except not nearly as interesting or beautiful. He was a unicorn, and he seemed to bear an expression that indicated that he both pitied and despised everything he saw. His eyes darted to Twilight and he let out a shout, “You fool!” Oh damn, it was Descartes.