"A sonata about Nightmare Moon?" Maestro Grosso asked, incredulous.
I hardened my resolve. "I've already written most of it, I just need a little help from some of the other musicians to bring it fully to life."
Grosso slapped a hoof to his head. "I suppose you want to take a little rehearsal time to work on it as well?"
"It could be a hit for the orchestra!" I argued.
"All I'm saying is, aside from old mare's tales and a holiday for foals, there's not much else to be said about Nightmare Moon." I said.
"And all I'm saying is don't be surprised when nopony takes your little love song to a villainous foal-eater seriously." Maestro Grosso replied. "The tale itself is almost unheard-of. Without Nightmare Night, I don't think anypony would've heard about that silly old boogeymare."
"Maestro, ever since I heard the tale as a foal it's fascinated me. An evil mare? A counterpart of our Celestia? The opportunities there are rife and underutilized!"
Grosso snorted. "They're underutilized because it can't be taken seriously! The more you think about it, the more it's sure to be just a made up story to scare foals. A mirror to Celestia? Evil instead of good, night instead of day? It's all unimaginative to the point of cliche. I know you enjoyed the story as a foal, Harper, but if I didn't know better I'd say you're infatuated. Infatuated with a fictional character!"
"She might not be fictional!" I protested.
"And I might sprout wings and live amongst the gryphons." Grosso replied dismissively.
I let my hooves fall into my lap. The song I'd written would never get played by the Royal Orchestra at this rate. If only I could convince...
Grosso's assistant came in and handed over a note. Accepting it with his magic, Grosso read it and snorted. "Well, here's your chance, Glissando. Princess Celestia has just arrived and wants to see you for a private performance."
"Princess Celestia asked what?" I asked, incredulous.
"A private concert. You will use my room." Maestro Grosso said. "The acoustics there are more conducive to a small performance. She is already there; they have set up your harp as well. Don't keep her waiting."
Nodding to the guard at the door, I entered the maestro's room cautiously. Celestia's back was to me. I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention. I didn't know much about Courtly Manners, but I knew that she had to speak first.
When that failed, I politely coughed into my hoof.
When that failed, I slowly walked around to see if she'd fallen asleep. My breath hitched in my throat as she turned to face me. I bowed.
"Don't bow to me." She insisted.
I looked up. "My apologies, Your Highness, I--"
"Don't apologize either." She said simply. I looked up at her curiously. "If I'm right, you won't be thanking me tonight." She said.
My thoughts were stirred and wouldn't settle. "What--"
Again, she interrupted. "Your instrument belongs to the Royal Orchestra, correct?"
"Yes, Your Highness." I answered.
"Celestia." She corrected.
"Yes, Celestia." I replied.
"It is an old instrument, is it not?" She asked.
"To the best of my understanding, yes." I said, confused at this line of questioning.
"Pardon me," She began as she stood. I made to bow again before I caught myself. "There were many like it, I believe?"
"Yes, Celestia." I said, thinking back to when I chose the instrument. Although others were newer, none sounded like the ebony-colored beauty I'd picked out.
Celestia crossed to the harp in question. Passing a hoof over the instrument, I could swear it glowed for a moment. "I once knew a mare who loved hearing this play. There are only a few instruments like this one. They are chosen only once in a lifetime. The ponies who play them come from various backgrounds, but they all have one thing in common." She turned to face me again.
"What is that?" I asked.
She looked grim. "Play for me. If the answer doesn't present itself, then I must apologize for taking your time." She crossed back to her cushion and sat.
Stepping forward, I took my place on my stool. Checking the strings, I contented myself on their sound and looked to Celestia. "What would you like to hear, Celestia? I know quite a few tunes from memory."
"Play something from your heart." She instructed.
I looked at the sheet music I'd brought with to the Maestro's office downstairs. Deciding to be bold, I set it on the nearby music stand and sat down. Shaking my head, I felt a slight tingle as I leaned the harp against my shoulder. Time seemed to pause as I began to play, as if the world held its breath. When I finished the song, my hooves continued, playing on to a melody that started out sweet and became increasingly bitter and heart-wrenching.
Each note reverberated through me, unleashing memories of hundreds of years of loneliness and regret. My own memories, I realized, from past lives. From before the banishment of my true love, Princess Luna, until now. My fascination with Nightmare Moon made sense at last. The taste of victory of knowing she was real turned into ash as I realized she was far out of my reach. I settled my harp back into standing position and wiped the tears away with one hoof.
Everything connected to something I did in a past life. It was disorienting. Something felt incredibly wrong. Within a moment, I realized that it was because Luna was missing. I added up the years before realizing how agonizingly close I was. There was no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't live to see my love back in Equestria. Looking up at Princess Celestia I spoke, my voice wavering. "Why?"
Celestia sat on her cushion in the maestro's room. I could clearly see Luna in my mind, but the moment passed. Celestia's expression spoke of her own sadness and remorse. "I've been asking myself that question since I banished her. When did it all start? Why didn't I see the signs? What if I'd listened to you, or to her? But I didn't. I foolishly believed that she would work through this; all she needed was time to herself."
I shook my head. "No, why do you keep bringing me these memories? Every generation, a pony is doomed to live alone."
"You'd be doomed to live alone anyway; you just wouldn't know why." She answered. Her words brought up the memory of the lifetime she'd waited until much later to tell me. The lives prior to that ended in one form of suicide or another. "I try my hardest for you, in any lifetime. Most times it's not enough."
"Why didn't you banish me too?" I asked, speaking around the lump in my throat. The question was one I knew my past selves asked, but I couldn't help myself. It was as if the sadness was squeezing the life out of me. I understood the pain of a millenia.
"I didn't think you'd survive the experience. You're not an alicorn like she is." She admitted. "Once every lifetime, we go through this, Harper."
I stood, shakily. I crossed to the Ruler of Equestria and stared her down. Like flashes in my head, I saw memories of yelling, crying, hugging and even slapping her. I could see those memories playing out in her head as well and she stood firm, ready to accept whatever treatment I gave her. "Not for very mush longer. What do you plan on doing when the stars aid in her escape?"
She shrugged. "I've been teaching students, each one more promising than the last. Eventually, I will find one or even a group to wield the elements and drive away the darkness inside her."
I walked away, bitterness in my heart as I realized I'd never have a chance at love with the one pony that needed it most. "I hope that works."
She responded so quietly I wasn’t sure she'd even spoken. "Me too."
Stopping at the door, I turned to look over my shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't be another suicide this time. I'll carry this soul as long as I can so that my next life won't have to wait as long."
She nodded. "That is very noble of you. I wish..."
I cut her off, I didn't want any of her well-wishes. "You'll understand if this is the last I see of you."
"I always do." She replied numbly.
"Good." I said harshly, and left.